Playing the Triangle
I used to be in a band. I played lead electric triangle as I was the fulcrum of the outfit. Success was denied by the incompetence of my fellow band members and I let them know about that. I love the triangle. As Madonna once sang, one is such a lonely number. Two is okay but not enough, not for someone as great as me. But three, now three is marvellous. In any of my relationships I need to bring in the third person. With my brother, I would point out that his Christmas gifts were not of the standard of our sister. That would infuriate him. Even better, I would put the ‘phone down and call my sister and tell her that her gifts were not as good as our brother’s offerings. Fantastic. At work it is so easy to do. Somebody provides a presentation and I will deem it satisfactory but inferior to that given by Worker B the previous week (there was no presentation but Worker A does not know that). In respect of my best friend, I used to have an imaginary friend called Stuart who I would pretend to go out with, who was repeatedly calling me or who had “just called round so can you call back later”. I used Stuart as a method of blocking my best friend for three months. He bought me a golf club membership in order to try to preserve the friendship so we could spend time golfing. That was a great result.
As with most of my work it is in the field of intimate relationships that my trusty triangle and me bear the most fruit. I will drag anybody I can into the triangle and repeatedly through the day. I will compliment my personal trainer and compare her to you in terms of tone and definition of body. I will remark how the cook at the diner makes a better cooked breakfast than you. I will make oblique references to a new female colleague and enthuse about her abilities and make you know how often we speak during the day. Hell, I will even bring inanimate objects into the triangle too. That really gets to you. My obsession with my ‘phone is the best one, but I will spend an age polishing my shoes and commenting how reliable and beautiful they are, unlike you. I will of course be grooming a new person as I grow tired of you as I engage in extra relationship affairs, my triangle has to have meaning. I always feel however that I can take it a step further, drive it to new heights because to me, just like the triangle I played in the band, it is incomplete.
6 thoughts on “Playing the Triangle”
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More blissful ignorance. It was until recently that I realized he was trying to triangulate me. It rarely worked. I think it only worked once in all the years he tried it. There was a pretty blonde waitress he used to flirt with because she reminded him of an actress he liked on a favorite TV show. I thought it was cute he had a crush on her. Though I did warn her about him on my way out of town later. The last time was when I caught redhanded cheating online in real time. He had a ridiculous explanation for why it wasn’t cheating. What he didn’t know was that an anonymous source (read vengeful ex of one of my husband’s past affairs) contacted me with proof of his cheating a few years prior. He tried to say the current affair was just a friend in addition to the ridiculous explanation and that he talked with her about me and she said he should talk to me. Even though he’d spent years of ignoring me. At that point I was done but not before I found even more proof and then exited stage left without a farewell. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since. He did try to call a few times but his number is blocked and then I let my phone number lapse.
Ahhh the taunts of, “did you see that girl flirting with me?”. At first I thought it was cute and I used to tell him yes, you are hot. Now it’s just irritating and even though I know I’ll pay for it I tell him, “that’s lovely, did you see all of the guys staring at me?” I think is crude behavior is rubbing off on me….
Hiya
I realise he played me to a T with this. There was always talk of his children’s mother and his girlfriend after her. I always tried to be the good girlfriend ( feel so bloody duped !!!) Believed him about the bad ex gf scenarios, I think now I’m one of them now karma eh ?
This is classic behaviour. We also talk about horrible and abusive exes. They usually are not and we have made it up or where their behaviour has been bad it has always been as a result of us putting them at the end if their tether. You have hit the nail on the head. You are the bad girlfriend now and he will be telling his current victim all about this in order to garner sympathy and attention. If you want to read about a masterclass in the smear campaign and false allegations of past abusive behaviour read HG Tudor’s Narcissist : Seduction and Ensnared and you will be nodding your head in understanding and shaking your head in disgust.
I’m 10 weeks into the silent treatment with my Narc Xfiance. He is in the discarding me phase, after his physical Narc Rage episode. I did the unthinkable to him. I posted his abuse on fb after calling him a narcissist. 2 unthinkable things I done to him actually. What do you think he will do when he finds out…i gave up on his bullshit, lies, and his accusations of cheating on him for 2 yrs and moved on to a new lover while he’s keeping his silence? Im not cheating on him. We broke up, he asked for his engagement ring back and I Packaged it back in the original ring box along with all the paperwork for cleanings, warranty, and insurance information.
Hello Crystal, thank you for your post and please excuse my delay in answering. First of all, your returning the ring with the paperwork “for cleanings, warranty and insurance information” made me smile. I would be prepared for him to engage in a smear campaign against you to make you look crazy for posting the “lies” about him on FB. He will also make mileage of you finding a new lover so quickly. I doubt he will try and win you back, he probably realises that will be too much like hard work. Instead I expect him to try and get a reaction from you and to ruin things with your new beau. That’s what I would do. You’ve told lies about me, you have brought this on yourself so here comes a shit storm – that will be his mindset.