Ice Cold With Alex
I had a girlfriend called Alex. She was a vivacious creature who was very much into her gymnastics and I cultivated an interest in this after seeing her various tweets about attending competitions and her posts on Instagram. She was at least ten years younger than me and she had a delightful naivety about her. Although she was far from old, indeed she was very much in her youth, she was approaching the upper age limit for those who could be regarded as competitive in gymnastics. Similar to competitive swimming, the shelf-life of a female gymnast is not long.
Initially, I would drive her all around the country to the various competitions which she took part in. She was very good and often found herself amongst the medals. The rigorous routines began to have an effect on her body and on return to home it was often necessary for her to apply ice packs to reduce the swelling she suffered about her knees and ankles. Once I tired of her bubbly persona and incessant chatter about straddle press handstands,pike press to handstand from front stand and the Arabian doubles, I would prior to her competition remove any ice we had in the house. On return she would express her dismay at the lack of ice. I would volunteer to go and find some for her from the supermarket as she rested. I would go to the pub instead or go and visit Mary who was attracting my attentions around this time.
I would return empty-handed resulting in Alex not recovering quick enough and thereafter having to pull out of competitions. She would swear that she had purchase some ice only the day before but I would point out that she could not have done since we had none. That was a fact and with a confused look she would eventually accept the force of what I was saying. Unfortunately for her, she insisted on attending a competition when not fully recovered and ended up badly injuring her right knee. Her convalescence was such that she felt her confidence dry up and she was most reluctant to rejoin the competition. This pleased me as it meant my weekends were no longer being interrupted and as she was on crutches for a time it meant I was free to come and go and there was little she could do about it, being largely housebound. In order to show some semblance of caring for her, I would cook the evening meal for her on condition she fixed the drinks for us both. It was then I decided I would always drink Absolut vodka. On the rocks.
14 thoughts on “Ice Cold With Alex”
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Oh my God. You’re such an ass.
I must have been too much of a challenge to my narc somedays. He was always trying to get me to trust him, that’s he’s got this (whatever situation we were in or what we needed), I was asked on more than one occasion to quit trying to wear the pants in the relationship, to be more soft, to be more feminine, to let him make the choices, to let him make the decisions, to let him be in control etc etc et al.
Whatever needed doing, I did, what needed buying, I bought, what needed taken care of, I took care of…..I would have had or aquired my own ice, that is for sure. I just can’t decide if I would have ‘allowed’ you any in your ‘vodka on the rocks’ or not if this was pulled on me!
It’s terrible but funny but sad all at the same time.
You’re behavior in this situation is deplorable, however I find myself asking “what the hell is wrong with this woman?” After the first instance of you returning home empty handed after an ice run I would figure out that you are a selfish, uncaring, asshole and go get my own damn ice! Same with buying ice the day before only to have you say that I did not! Gas lighting has never worked on me, so I don’t understand how anyone can question the reality of a situation and accept a lie. I know I can be accused of victim blaming in this situation but I really don’t have tolerance for stupidity. I may choose to engage with disordered individuals but I’m not blind to their behaviors and manipulations.
What infuriates them the most is not giving them fuel. Having no reaction at all and just walking away. They hate that. Oh, and never beg for anything. If they decide to disappear on you just go no contact. Do not text, call or show up where they live. Do not give them any fuel at all. Also, they don’t love anyone. They don’t know how to love and they never will. They are way too selfish for that.
Yes I know, I would never willingly get involved in a real relationship with a N! I can tolerate the guy I’ve been involved with for the past year on a part time basis but even that can become exhausting. I don’t tolerate any of the manipulative techniques he attempts to use and I hold him accountable for every word and action. I’m quite aware that he is incapable of loving anyone but himself but of course he adamantly denies this to be the case. He may love his young daughter but I’m still not convinced of that either.
They don’t love know how to love anyone. So, I seriously doubt that he actually loves his own daughter. Which she will realize as she gets older. Being in a relationship with someone like this is absolutely exhausting. Walking on eggshells and waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s just insane and I will never be part of anything like that ever again!
You of course realize our righteous anger is a form of supply, right? That aside, I was at first wondering the same thing. Then I recalled how much narcs like to embellish a story to make it that much more tasty of a bait for us to react to. 😉
Really??? I don’t know what to call you because your behavior is unacceptable, deplorable, downgrading, selfish, condescending, despicable, etc…….
Hello Charlie, yes I know.
Nothing is ever good enough for narcs. Criticism is one if their favorite attributes. They love to suck the life right out of you. You can’t talk to them. You can’t reason with them. Might as well bang your head against a brick wall. One of the things I heard all the time was ” you don’t address anything I have to say!” It was ridiculous. I shouldn’t have to repeat things back word for word to prove that I was listening. It’s just insane.
Indeed it is Charlie but we revel in exerting control over you and making you prove you were listening and thus making us feel important and fuelled is one of those methods. It appears insane to you but perfectly logical to us.
Are you fucking kidding me, you soul-less bastard??!!
Hello me and thank you for your post. No, I am not kidding. I am not a bastard by the way.
I’m sorry but your answer to ‘me’ made me laugh out loud very much!
Thank you HG