Relationship Bulletin
One of my early girlfriends, Olivia (amazing legs by the way) said that one of the things she really liked about me when we first got together was the pride I showed in broadcasting to the world that I was in a relationship with her. She expressed surprise and delight at how widespread my announcement that we were together was. I posted repeated and regular updates on Facebook of us together, at different restaurants, on the beach, at dinner parties, holding one another and smiling for all to see. I would tweet about how happy I was as a consequence of being with her and also what a breath of fresh air she was compared to the stale, possessive relationship I had been in previously. I would take her to a dizzying array of drinks receptions (both with friends and with work) and introduce you to all and sundry, positively bursting with pride. I ensured we attended plenty of dinner parties and barbecues where we worked our way around the other guests as I enthused about her wonderful qualities knowing full well that those who were in attendance would post about it on their Facebook pages and talk to other friends and acquaintances. Well we all enjoy the latest gossip don’t we? I changed my ringtone to her favourite pop song and when people commented on the tune I would explain why I had chosen it. I spread the news as far as I possibly could, using every available channel of the dissemination of information, content that once the news was out there, it would continue to spread. Yes, Olivia was utterly swept off her feet by the huge exposure I gave her to this glamorous lifestyle of mine and moreover the repeated and concentrated blasts of heralding our coupling. She adored me for it. Of course, what she had not realised that I was not doing it for her. I was letting Sandy, who I had discarded the week prior, know just how happy I was without her and how she was missing out. That’s what it was all about.
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Mine never did that he made all possible attempt to hide any indiscretions from me, no doubt as I was the primary source of fuel and he did not wish to lose me through my upset and possibly leaving him, as he was aware my views in infidelity.
But when we were together he made it know far and wide social media style I was with him, which probably helped send the witches and flying monkeys my way 😏 repeat three times and click heels…there is no place like home!
This is exactly what my ex has done. 14 year marriage. Last 10 years adductio. Issues. I finally left. He opened up a fb account. Telling woman how beautiful they are. We texted the year we were divorced. He finally got a woman ( not attractive at all). That lasted a few months. We started talking again. He had said some things to led me on. 3 weeks later he got another girlfriend . they dated 8 weeis now married. Each time he had someone he accidently texted our son things like ( I love you my baby). Now I know it was on purpose, so we would know he found someone. Now he is married he is nasty to me. He’s new wife is starting to text nasty. Using our son. Which he knows how I will stand up for the kids. Now I see what game he is playing. Since I have found these sites it has opened my eyes to who he really is. My question that still bothers me is.., I was his 4th wife, the others lasted around 4 years never any kids. We were married 24 years with 2 boys. The first 13 years were pretty good. Then pain pulls, depression took hold and the last 19 years it was always something. And the arguing and temper was out of control. Now he tells us how happy he us and he is a changed man and has moved on. I am starting this no contact thing. He leaves us alone, but it’s been a patter every month he starts texting something then it gets out of hand then his new wife starts texting. So I know now to ignore. I have talked to our boys about this they are old enough to understand. So thankful they are cause I would hate for them to go to there house. So will he turn on her too or is he finally getting tired of the games. He is 60 years old. I know He doesn’t like to be alone, has to have someone. He always moves fast after a breakup. This has taken as toll on me. I was (am ) a strong person. But what I have read, in angry at myself for letting him have so many years of my life. I wanted to leave years ago. Just never wNted a broken family. Didn’t believe in divorce. Now I feel like a failure for this.
Hello Debbie and thank you for getting in touch. He will turn on her too. If anything it will get worse as he looks at his sixty year old body and contemplates what has he achieved in his time here? This will cause him to need more admiration so he will find someone else (as you write, he moves fast and cannot be alone) and he will also need to provoke a reaction from her for blaming her for how he now feels (old, saggy, ineffectual and so on). He tries to contact you every so often to triangulate you with the new lady and thus gain admiration from you and a reaction from her in order to try and feel omnipotent again. I suspect he is obtaining diminished returns based on the passage of time and he will be looking for someone new soon. Have a took at HG Tudor’s publications on Amazon for some further insights.
Ugh. The endless parade of the “road hard, put away wet” skanks you were photographed and plastered everywhere with to me, screamed just how desperate you were. They were nasty. However, your message was received loud and clear. Ulcer, I mean mission achieved.
It doesn’t matter what they look like so long as I am given attention. That is all that matter to me.
#obviusly
Does their appearance matter toward the purpose of feeding others’ envy of you and admiration of you? I would think it might be emotionally painful to a narcissist to be seen publicly with a woman who wasn’t as beautiful as the women who were at the same event with other people… for exactly the same reason you describe it as emotionally painful to know that someone else has a prettier car or home than you have.
It depends on the cadre of narcissist. The Elite and Somatic will rate the physical appearance of the primary source as most important for the purposes of drawing fuel from onlookers, the Cerebral and Victim will be far less concerned. Although the physical looks will be of importance to the Elite and Somatic, the fuel that is provided is what matters more than anything else and in certain circumstances the necessity of access to fuel can outweigh the issue of looks.