Please Please Me
I want you to do your best. That is a noble intention is it not? I want you to try harder each day. I want you to aim high and strive to improve on what you achieved the previous day. Though exhaustion may be clouding your vision and that ache in your limbs reminds you of the strenuous ministrations that you have attended to, I know that you can push through it and do it more, better, faster and stronger. I believe in you. Those other imposters are mere charlatans. Am I not the one who has given you a perfect love? You need to keep that perfect love and earn it. Accordingly, each day I will pull it away from you. On a Monday it might be the case that I do not kiss you. I will not give you an explanation for this withholding as you must work it out. Once you have you need to work hard to recover my kiss. The next day I will not return the hug you always give me when we first get up. Rather than complaining hold your tongue and consider this all part of your on going education. If you want my perfect love to manifest through those warm, safe hugs that you relish then you must please me so that you may have them again.
You repeatedly comment to me that there has to be give and take in a relationship. I am doing exactly what you ask for. I take away in order to make you give more and then you will be rewarded. In order to avoid any complacency on your part you will find that the next time I withdraw from kissing you, your first response which reinstated my luscious embrace will not work a second time. No that would be far too easy. You need to ascertain what different act you must accomplish in order to secure my tender kisses. I know you will do it. Who would not in order to feel my mouth against yours and that soaring sensation inside as the relief floods through you, knowing that you have secured it return. Admit it, the potential loss of my affection at any time for any reason excites you. You do not want mediocrity. You want excitement. You want to feel like you are flying, soaring, bursting and spinning with delight. I am the only one who can supply that to you and thus you willingly engage with me in these games as I push you further and further, pulling back a little more each time so you wrack your brain and strain your sinews to find the answer once again. It would be wrong of me to say I only do this for your benefit. I do not. I do it wholly for mine since I need you to please me. You please me by being the puppet jerking on my strings, doing everything at my behest. The surge of power that I get from this control surpasses anything you might get from our relationship, but are we not both getting something from it, so where’s the harm in pleasing me?
14 thoughts on “Please Please Me”
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This might even make sense if you are worth it. But you never are.
Of course we are Jennie.
Ok. Are N’s big inBDSM activities?? Mine is, was, sometimes. Seems to be a very excellent source of fuel…..
Yes. Have a read of Sex and the Narcissist for more.
This one really struck a chord if a somewhat jarring one.
“I want to help you be the best you possibly can”.
I fell for it hook line and sinker, although I assumed we were on the same wave length.
As I’ve said previously my relationship was predominantly long distant, he was still with his wife and family, so although I saw glimpses of the dark side, I guess he found it easy to carry on the charade with me, being the perfect chameleon presenting the image I wanted to see.
Even now I still have doubts as to his narc credentials, but then I read your blogs and then like this one it hits me full in the face. I can’t relate to all that I read in your blogs as I suspect his wife would have been receiving the special treatment your kind reserve for the No.1 fuel source.
Yes I recognise the acts of withdrawal, his shows of “empathy” would dry up like a parched river. I’d pour out my soul in an email and I would receive a terse one word answer in response, two or three days later. We’d make passionate “love” then sometimes he would roll away from me presenting me with his back, arms tightly folded.
And yes I didn’t want mediocrity and with him I became audacious, devil-may-care, reckless and brimming with self-confidence. I think he brought the histrionic out in me at times, I became somewhat self-obsessed. But I felt alive in a way I’d never felt before.
Then when after he told me he wanted to be with me, to leave the family home and set up life here with me, the devaluation began.
HG you hit a nerve with this post. I’m aware that I may sound somewhat flat and repressed, but I keep my emotions in check now.
This is how he made me feel during one of his “loud silences”…
Windows error
press any key to continue.
My thoughts badly
frag…
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Firing off in all areas
Chains of ideas,
Emotions
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Fatal exception occurred…
Heart and mind crashed
Ctrl alt
DELETE.
Malignarc I really appreciate your openness and transparency on this mind boggling crazy making issue . I left my husband he refuses any dialogue at all unless its “esteeming him” as he says omg …im too aware to play the games back although its very tempting to keep the chaos going and great sex that follows …but it takes too much 1, 2 minute interaction bothers me so much it takes days to get my head back straight. I have to be healthy and gain back my peace. bad insomnia for like 6 months . thanks for talking to us when they wont ., I know you get supply from it , but that’s ok your still helping us.
Hi byoung, you are most welcome. Yes, some people are staggered at how in just a couple of minutes we can have such an impact but your words are testament to that. How long did you go along with the drama in order to secure that fantastic make-up sex? Did you ever feel any responsibility for doing this even though you knew what it would do in terms of validation for him? I don’t mean that he would enjoy the sex as well, but instead that it made his use of chaos and drama legitimate because it got the reaction from you.
You, I mean (me) would work myself into a tizzy trying to please you, trying to figure out what to do and what not to do. Nothing was good enough nothing. I use to wonder why he couldn’t love me or just like me. Everyday it was a different game or a different dance. Oh well now it doesn’t matter.
It may not matter anymore as presumably you are away from him, but it matters to aid your understanding.
Yes, it really does, it really helps so much. Thank you for that. I appreciate your work.
You are welcome and please do continue to contribute.
Exactly …only now I don’t care anymore …about the affection you used as a freaking prize..the elusive carrot and stick.. Cracker jack bs prize ..I’ll make sure to make up for it in future. It wasn’t all that anyways….I’ve had better
Someone has the bit between her teeth!
That is exactly right. Its like a prize. So awful.