Rise and Fall of an Empire
I am the master architect. I will amaze you as I create golden cities that reflect the magnificence of our relationship. With glass and chrome I create those skyscrapers that soar high into the air as a testament to the sheer height to which I will take you. Clean, sparkling rivers run through the centre of these cities, spanned by intricate bridges. The stonework on the most elegant buildings bears the hallmark of the master craftsman that I am. My technique and brilliance surpasses anything that you have seen before. Carefully landscaped parks and gardens provide a verdant oasis at different parts throughout these cities, a haven for flora and brought to life with the sound of birdsong. Beyond the city limits lush meadows undulate away to the imposing grandeur of mountain ranges. I keep the sky an amazing azure through out the day, save for sunset when I allow a few clouds to wisp across the horizon and contribute to the breath taking hues of red, orange, yellow and violet that I weave through the sky. My empire is vast. It is resplendent and awe-inspiring. It is all my own work, achieved through my careful application of building something worthy of representing our relationship. It is built on the most solid of foundations, from the most reliable and durable of materials. There has been no corner cutting, no use of cheap and suspect stone, word or steel. Nothing shall fall but instead it will prevail for ever in tribute to you and me.
Yet for all this splendour that I have single-handedly created I will take a match to it and bring about an all consuming conflagration. I want to see it engulfed in the inferno of my making. It makes no sense. There is no logic to burning down what I have created. The wanton destruction of such beauty is abhorrent and flies in the face of any reasoned individual. The flames burn with such intensity that the steel melts, sizzling drops of molten metal that scar the stone which fractures and crumbles. Glass shatters, blackened shards that collapse to the ground, the noise of destruction masked by the roar of the flames.
I will stand and watch this terrible destruction with a twisted grin on my face, my hollow eyes reflecting the shooting pillars of orange flame. You are knelt beneath me as I hold your head in my hands, forcing you to watch this display of carnage and obliteration. Your tears stream down your face, cutting through the soot that has adorned your features, the heat haze shimmering before you and your sobbing inaudible compared to the fierceness of the fire that will burn for days.
I will build you an empire and then I shall raze it to the ground. That is my way and it shall always remain the case.
13 thoughts on “Rise and Fall of an Empire”
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Everything you write is so cruel and terrible. I have never thought that people are capable of such actions.
Not everything Kasia, you will see that a lot of what I write is actually eye-opening, instructive and of considerable use to people in very difficult situations. The comments, testimonials and appetite for my work are clear evidence of this.
Some of what I write is cruel and terrible, judged from a particular perspective. I understand that and do not disagree. From my perspective, it is necessary.
I’ve built a wall. The top is covered in wire and searchlights. It’s taken years to build the experience needed to construct garnished from three teachers. The door is wielded shut just in case you manage to approach unnoticed. Overtop the once lush forests with easy going paths have turned into a swampish maze. The crystalline waters are now fetid offering no nourishment. I have learned from the best to play on shadows. So, at night you will be bombarded with things of nightmare. The aspects of who I am were always used against me. I hide them at the farthest reaches of your vision. Ready to disappear at the slightest hint of threat. If you manage to push through all of this you will be subject to hypervigilance. As I hand out small pieces of my treasure I will constantly wait in watch of what you will do. Subconsciously thinking you will squander your prize for the sake of greed. Attempts to reinvest your earnings will be put under a microscope while I keep the bulk of me on your horizon. I’ve built more than a wall. I’ve built an unforgiving landscape to my heart. Truth is I don’t want anyone near it. I will unconsciously punish you for trying to love me. And why not? You obviously want something for trying to undertake such a journey.
A sensible form of defence which is likely to deter all but the most accomplished and determined of our kind.
I will always be vulnerable to your kind. I can only do my best to avoid you. This is truth.
Would you describe the “fuel” as a drug-like sensation? Such that you are in famine in searing heat and it’s like having some Coca Cola?
I’m from a family of four and the only empath. When I watched these crazed ones actually abstain from their tricks, it was terrible. They became lifeless, boring sacks with no motivation. I actually preferred the drama.
I suppose that is accurate, it is like a rush, a rush of power. Your description of how your family became when they abstained from their behaviour is an accurate description of the effects of a lack of fuel.
Well then, I no longer feel angry. As I need to eat they need to provoke and it pleases me to read all appliances blur into one as it does not mean I’m unloveable or hold grave flaws that saw me deserve this complete bollocks of a family. I am a theatre director, the United Nations, Jesus, psychologist, whipping post, etc. But above all smarter than them and it irritated them because I’m just watching and profiling all the same.
In addition to a lack of fuel is tetchiness about intention and this leads to failures because of the constant confusion over not receiving gratification. But as others are fluid and have values you’ll never get positive attention all the time as life is up for debate.
I guess that’s a close to the truth as it gets. And as good and bad as it gets with a narc.
im full fledged crying jeez…….that’s it ….because you can , it shows the
power you have ..especially the game that follows of none of it being your fault and the antagonizing the innocent true victims.
Yes, you are correct, it is because we can and as you know we revel in our perceived power and omnipotence. Anybody normal cannot comprehend why you would build something up and then destroy but that is what we do with those we ensnare every single time. There is no hope for it. We have to do it to gain our fuel.
This was the one question I asked myself often while living in the abuse (who destroys their on family) and why?
We do. Because we know no other way. It makes no sense but still we do it, because we must provoke reactions from all around us be they positive. We build it up (positive) and then raze it (negative).