Money Matters
Become involved with one of my kind and the issue of money will not be far away. Of my high-functioning brethren money is not an issue. We are successful individuals. Indeed, the driven nature of our narcissism has enabled us to become successful. We are not hampered by concerns about having to please everyone. We have no worries about treading on somebody’s toes and if someone is hurt by our ruthlessness well we have no capacity to care about it so it is onwards and upwards for us. In fact, the world needs my kind to be the achievers which will take risks and create and build in our preoccupation with success and status. The happy consequence of this success is that we have plenty of money and use that during our Love Bombing phase to shower you with gifts and invitations to expensive places. Everyone enjoys receiving those type of things.
You will however then notice a shift in our largesse whereby despite our not inconsiderable remuneration you will find yourself paying for everything. I will forget my wallet or make it clear that it is your turn to pay. We will dash to the bathroom when the bill arrives and you will pay it as we stand watching from across the room to make sure you do, only returning thereafter. We will feign a lack of cash about our person to use yours, pretend our credit card is at its limit to use yours and that we are waiting for expenses and thus have been left somewhat short this month. Why do we do this? Surely we would prefer to continue our grandiose gestures at being in possession of a black Amex card and continuing to show off our financial resource? No, we have given you all that during our seduction of you and now we are delivering the bill for all of that. We see it as being entitled to you paying for us. Even if our initial generosity was not huge, we showered you with love and affection. You owe us for all of that and we will take payment by means of cash, card, bank transfer or hostage exchange. We want to make you pay to reinforce your obligation to us. We are exerting control over you. We are testing you. We want to push you to see how far you will go in paying to keep us with you. How much debt you will carry in order to ensure that we remain together. With everything we do, our attitude to money is framed through entitlement and the need to control you so that you remain attentive and provide us with our precious fuel.
That is how we high-functioning individuals regard the matter of money. I shall touch on in a future post on how the low functioning members of the club treat it, so save your tales of enforced penury until then.
4 thoughts on “Money Matters”
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He used his money for all things him, and since I had none I was just shit out of luck, unless he wanted something from me. And when and if he gave me money it was never enough to buy food and medicine or anything else I needed. At the end after I refused to sign off my rights to his retirement account he cut me completely off. He even stop giving me his crumbs.
Very good observation, and I like the way you put it.
When I visited him in his town, he had usually either ‘forgotten’ to get some cash first, or he pretended he had to save because of some major renovation work necessary at one of his appartments, or his daughter’s private school costs, or… whatever!
So we usually split the bills, even €70 train ticktes for MY journeys to Belgium to visit HIM on his request, or I would take over the bills when he had no cash available and he left me waiting the entire week-end before paying me back (50%). He rarely took over the entire dinner bill or train tickets or museum/movie bill…
Considering that he is a 58-year-old foreign country TV reporter earning a 150k/year salary, with just one kid, not paying anything for his ex-wife because she makes a very good living herself, I immediately sensed that there was something really odd and ‘off’ with his ‘money issues’.
I soon realized it was about power and control, but it took me a while to put my finger on it and point it out. He didn’t like it when I pointed out his non-sense and double standards. Neverlethelss, he was somewhat amazed and almost ‘in awe’ when I did so: “I’m fascinated by your IQ and EQ!”
So when I saw right through him, he didn’t like it and it was usually followed by bits or tornados of narcissistic rage and projection. But he always returned with a special compliment or acknowledgement of my ‘specialness’ or ‘talents’ or ‘mental capacities’ a couple of minutes or hours or days later. And it always enticed and aroused him – he usually wanted to make love to me when that happened.
I guess notwithstanding all their evil and falseness and masks, they are as mundane and profane as everybody else: they just wish to be SEEN. And they need us to see them, we’re the only ones who can see right through them:-)
My mind just exploded. Holy cow. Ok the money thing was the biggest component in my relationship …I cannot even begin to tell you how big and monstrous. I made double what he did he made, and he managed it all. I was cool with that because he actually was extremely good at saving , paying and planning. Too good where I trusted him too much. That is also where I exerted my control back. I canceled my direct deposit and put in my own account . oh how things changed. We then split the bills leaving me hugely in surplus if extra cash flow and him with nothing …I then felt bad and offered to pay his car payment. He refused to let me because ego, but then got so jacked up and confused he couldn’t calculate what else made sense and made my offer to help him very complicated.. And I didn’t respond.. I was astonished at how well this worked.I actually got back the love bomb phase …sex kicked back into high gear I enjoyed it thoroughly.. I knew it was the wielding of the weapon , but it was welcomed by me , and even in knowing that I still enjoyed it and wanted it..I thought omg is this all I had to do this whole time???? Then when my bonus check came weeks later I saw the nasty look ” so did you get your bonus”? Well …yes I did! I was waiting to see the true colors come back they did too. My gifts to him always involved $$ in a creative way, a money cake ( not real cake just design) a personal safe with money ,a gold bar . silver eagles with monthly shipments, a new BMW wallet with money inside…. I understood he loved money but you give great insight into why……he took severe advantage of the money I earned
Your generosity and inventiveness with it provided fantastic fuel. I may need to take you out for dinner! (Only if you pay of course)