See You In Court
A former girlfriend of mine, Elizabeth, took the foolish step of instigating legal proceedings against me. This vexatious litigant decided that I owed her a sum of money. I will not trouble you with the intricacies of the dispute but it revolved around an investment that she made. The investment did not work and being the type of person who cannot accept that she could get it wrong, Elizabeth looked to me for redress.
At first it began with a couple of telephone calls. We had parted company but I was pleased to note that she had retained my mobile number (I of course had ensured I had kept hers)and she telephoned me requesting payment of the investment sum. Initially I decided that I would string her along and explained that I would look into it to see what I could do. There was of course no prospect of her recovering that money. I do not indulge in repayments and moreover it was her own idiocy that resulted in her loss, she ought to have undertaken some due diligence beforehand and if she failed to do so then on her head be it. I enjoyed receiving the texts and calls from her as she asked when she might receive the money. I fobbed her off using my charm and well-honed powers of procrastination. Her demanding nature served as delicious fuel to me.
The calls ended and instead she penned a couple of letters. They were rather well written, eloquent perhaps, albeit it misplaced both in fact and in law. I replied to them, after all, it would be ill-mannered not to do so, but now I rejected her assertions out of hand. I wielded my power of no and had no need to explain myself. I am not accountable to her. I am not accountable to anybody.
The next letter made threats of police involvement and I laughed at those. I knew that would get her nowhere and I replied in such terms. I pointed out how such an action would be entirely misguided and if she raised a complaint she would find herself in the receiving end of litigation from me. She wisely heeded those warnings.
She did however maintain her claim in the civil arena and she instructed a firm of solicitors to recover the money that she claim she owed. I ignored these letters. I was becoming bored of these demands now and besides I had other targets to attend to. I thought she would get the message and cease with her tiresome pursuit but instead she issued court proceedings against me. In order to be satisfied that I had them she chose to instruct a process server to effect personal service of the court papers rather than send them through the post as anybody would do so normally. I entertained myself avoiding this process server. I would then agree to turn up at an appointed time and place to be served but then fail to do so. This meant more cost for her and more frustration for her.
My evasion of her attempts at service resulted in her securing an order for substituted service and one evening the papers and the accompanying order for this method of service to be effective were shoved into the letter box by my gate. I read through the papers and scoffed at the allegations. Whilst tempted to handle the dispute myself I decided I would instruct my own lawyers and purposefully chose an expensive outfit, far superior to the local hacks hire by Elizabeth. I attended my first meeting with a partner in the firm (I was not being fobbed off with some junior solicitor, I wanted the head of commercial litigation in this City firm acting for me) and issued my instructions.
“I know all about risk, costs and so on so save your breath. You are to defend this claim, counterclaim against her and then delay and prevaricate at every step of the way. Seek extensions, deliberately delay responding to letters, send incomplete material and look to frustrate the process. Do not go so far as to incur an interim cost order against me, that will cause her to think that she has met with a measure of success and that is unacceptable. I do not care about your bill, I can easily afford it, but I want her wracking up a large bill so she gives up. Understand?”
The partner smiled the cold grin of a legal shark and nodded. He was my kind of man.
Thereafter my lawyers delayed in acknowledging the claim until the last moment. They sought an extension for the defence and counterclaim and then another. When Elizabeth refused the third request, my lawyers applied to court and obtained it. She sought an extension when filing her defence to my counterclaim. We agreed, since it slowed the matter down. My lawyers filed requests for further information about her caseand then more. We slowed down disclosure, released ours in a piecemeal fashion and pored over her disclosure lists and sought additional documents and launched further applications against Elizabeth. We sought documentation from third parties and made applications against those parties in order to delay the provision of witness evidence. Oddly enough, several of the witnesses she wanted to rely on became unco-operative to her and the threats of witness summonses against them merely caused them to dig their heels in.
Throughout this we suggested mediation and then changed our minds and then changed our minds again. This caused a hiatus in the litigation. We would not accept their suggested mediators and we kept changing the ones we wanted, so we decided a court had to make that decision. More cost and delay. We chopped and changed our dates of availability and then agreed a date which we then altered at the last minute owing to unforeseen circumstances. Then the mediator became unavailable (he was an accountant who suddenly found himself instructed on a different matter- I wonder whose company did that?) so a new one had to be appointed so we went through the rigmarole of all that once again. The costs mounted and mounted, they were of little consequence to me, but they soon outstripped what Elizabeth was claiming.
The mediation was fruitless. I spent most of my time engaging with the attractive trainee solicitor from the firm engaged by Elizabeth and drawing some rather pleasant if unexpected supply from her. We were never going to settle and made outrageous demands of them throughout.
The litigation resumed as we moved towards the preparation of forensic accountant reports and lay witness statements. Then there was silence from the opposition. Three years had elapsed from the commencement of proceedings. Her solicitors came off the record as acting for her and nobody replaced them. She was now acting in person. Her funds had been exhausted and nobody was willing to act on a conditional basis.
Bit by bit her demands lowered and lowered and lowered until just recently she suggested that we adopt a drop hands basis, namely she bears her costs and I bear mine and that is it. After delaying my response I decided that this was entirely acceptable, after all, there was a huge risk if it went to trial that I would lose and be stung for her claim, interest and costs. That did not trouble me, it was the fact of losing to her that did. I instructed my solicitors to accept her proposal, draw up the relevant consent order and have it signed and then I sent her a note.
“Dear Elizabeth,
I recall the last time we spoke on the telephone you demanded money for your idiotic investment and declared you would “see me in court”. You never had a chance of getting me into a court room for the trial of this case. I always win.
Regards
HG”
12 thoughts on “See You In Court”
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Apocalipznow: And you’ll notice what he did about it — found the only possible way to ensure that he didn’t have to be aware of having lost, by no longer being aware of anything at all.
Narcissists do lose, fairly frequently, despite everything our dear host is getting fuel from leading some of the more credulous commenters to believe. The reason they don’t _think_ they lose is that in every case where it is possible, they will change their own perceptions to avoid having to know that the loss occured. Either they reframe the event in their memory so that the result they got was the one they “were trying to get all along,” or they falsely remember themselves as having won when they did not. Or they may simply put the entire incident out of their minds, so that it doesn’t exist for them (except occasionally when the creature is whispering in their ear about how worthless they are, and then they do anything they can to drown it out).
If they are in a situation where they simply cannot, due to circumstances around them, avoid the knowledge that they lost, Hitler’s solution is not an uncommon one. It can serve as a way to salvage one last tiny shred of victory by denying their betters the satisfaction of capturing them alive or forcing them to do their will. And it can silence the unbearable knowledge of their own inadequacy.
” I always win”…… but didn’t you say you always pick the ones who you know you can beat anyway? Girlfriends-wise? Overall, and in general?
Indeed, every battle is won before it is ever fought.
… you might’ve won the battle, but don’t assume you’ll always win the war.
I never assume and I ensure the war is won before it is fought.
…that’s what Hitler thought ; )
This is why I believe I won’t win to my advantage, for example a divorce.
A tumultuous divorce is just another stage for us.
That’s why you’re not married right ?
How do I get him
To back off from trying to take my house from me – he said let the games begin
This is more of a legal question first in terms of knowing your legal rights and remedies and once those are established one can look at how to deal with him in a situational manner. Which country are you in? Do you own the house in your name alone, is it in his name or joint names? Are you married? Is their a mortgage? Who pays that – you, him or both? Do you have children? Was there a contribution to the purchase value of the property? By you alone, him alone or jointly?
There is no point trying to get your money from a narc.just cut losses and move on. The high functioning narcs will drag you in courts until you lose your last dime. The low functioning ones will just move from place to place in an attempt to evade the process. Just take it as a hard lesson learned and tution paid in narc lessons.
Satan owed me 2500 when I left him. I knew I would never get it back. He said ,”you are a b word and a gold digger. You will not get any money from me. Pay yourself back what you owe you. You are so stupid.” This is the same man that came to my condo weeping tears that his brother had died and had no means to go bury his brother. I said no problem, I will purchase a one way plane ticket, and your friends and family will take care of your return. He insisted on driving. So i reluctantly rented a car for the weekend and guess what, I was not allowed to come. He did not want me to see him in that fragile state. Well one weekend turned into 4 weeks of rental. I hired a private investigator and found out that His brother is very much alive and in jail for domestic violence charge. Live and learn, I guess. And always do a background check ladies, it might be the only thing that will save you.