The Fear of Nothing
I am fearless. I am a pioneer who marches into new lands where I stake my claim because it is my right. I am blessed with my formidable powers that enable me to strike down my enemies, vanquish my foes and take that which rightfully belongs to me. Driven by my raging fury I will consign those that stand against me to oblivion. No wall can keep me out, no fortress will prevent my ever onwards march. It takes a special person to have no fear. Few are imbued with this for only a few can stand astride the world and survey it knowing it belongs to them. To be free of doubt, devoid of concern and unburdened by conscience enables me to move forward without fear. This is entirely necessary. Fear paralyses. Fear inhibits and stunts. Achievements cannot be secured when one lives with fear. New horizons cannot be reached with fear lurking on your shoulder. Fear will set you back and keep you back. I cannot be restrained. I must not be harnessed or withheld for I must always strike out. It is by lacking this fear which infects so many of you, that I am able to bring my greatness to bear on those around me. To live without fear is true freedom. As Evey declared in V for Vendetta
“I wish I wasn’t afraid, all of the time.”
Fear prevents potential being reached. Fear dissuades and controls. Fear is the enemy of progress, it is the opponent of invention and it is the foe that will quash your dreams as if they never existed. I am blessed with the capacity for knowing that what I will do will succeed and thus I am freed from fear. My plans in the workplace will be met with acclaim and admiration so that I am not held back in formulating and presenting them. When I enter the room, heads turn in acknowledgement of my ability. Not for me the skulking walk of the frightened who must keep to the shadows for fear of failure. When I approach somebody I know they will like me, want me and admire me. This enables me to succeed in all my interactions with people, from the barmaid to the chairman of the board. All of this is because I am free from fear.
You know fear all too well. You tell me of the stifling effect it has on you. The tremble it injects into your voice. The clamminess of your hands as you reach out to shake someone’s hand. The churning stomach and the light-headedness. The dread that washes over you as the alarm goes off and another day lies ahead of you seeking to challenge you and grind you down. You live surrounded by fear because you allow it to control you. You allow yourself to be governed by your feelings. You have not mastered them. You have not cast aside those that you do not need and instead you choose to be a slave to those feelings so that amidst them fear comes and takes you with its cold hand about your neck and pulls you downwards into a quagmire of uncertainty, worry and fear. You fear how you will be regarded when you attend a drinks party with new people. You worry about how your dress or shirt will look. You worry about money, family, health,friends, the environment, taxes and your sports team. You have allowed fear to permeate every level of your life and in turn it has weakened you and held you back. Look to me. Do I show fear or concern as I go about my works? No I do not. How many times have you looked upon my kind and remarked how we always succeed, how nothing bothers us and how we always triumph no matter what happens? That is what comes with being fearless. That is what being a leader, a pioneer and a titan is all about. I am without fear and thus I make the world mine.
This lack of fear is what draws people to me. They are mesmerised at the nobility that I possess. They look on in awe at how I tackle every obstacle with that unerring fortitude,driven on by my unswerving belief in that what I do is right. I am not bound my convention. I am not hampered by rules, regulations or procedures. Those are devices for the frightened. Artifical creations put in place to give those who are less than me, less than us, something to hold onto. You cling to these laws whilst I strike them down. Like a crusading knight I ride into battle and fear no defeat for victory will always be mine.
I fear nothing.
It is nothing that I fear. But I will not admit that.
88 thoughts on “The Fear of Nothing”
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I think you could write more articles about famous narcissists. Analyzing their behaviour. 🙂
I have done several already.
Narcissist’s do not care about anything. They will do whatever is required, but they don’t really understand why it’s necessary- say to fill out a form, work, anything/everything. They don’t think the same way we do, but they learn to blend in with the way we think. They’re like being left-handed in a right-handed world.
I think there is something similar in them to a multiple personality, except their real self never emerges. Their false self would indeed feel oblivion if the real self would come out and take over. Narcissist’s do have fear, just not on the surface. Their false self is a shield. They shield their real self, it is fearless, it has nothing to lose in a way because it can’t feel anything.
Maybe they equate love with hurt. Maybe that’s why they create a false fearless unfeeling self to shield them. Somewhere along the line that defensive facade takes on its own power and takes over and becomes them. Monstrous, manipulative machine that has taken on its own life and gotten out of control. It becomes their new normal, and their old self is stuffed in the old yesterday’s like a forgotten toy in the toy box.
All Narcs have one common fear – their “beast”.
I saw a lot of fearful eyes (fear of public performance, fear of surgery, fear of dogs, etc., etc), but those fears were nothing in comparison to fear I saw in the eyes of my ex-husband when once he couldn’t keep his “beast” under control.
I’ve never seen such level of fear before. I’ve never seen such facial and body expression of fear before. It was a visceral fear, powerful, deep, overwhelming, disorienting, crushing. Absolute fear. He was shaking from head to toes literally. I even felt his fear physically.
One time when I back home, I found him sitting under his table. He was in that type of fear I described earlier. By the way, all mirrors at our home were crushed (!). It was my voice he recognized, not face. He started to scream “Take IT from me away! Take ME from it away!”. He repeated and repeated those phrases. And his eyes… it was an absolute fear in them.
It was no room for me under that table, so I took his arm and gently, but insistently commanded to go out from there. After awhile he obeyed. I led him to his big chair and we sat there cuddling. He was like a fearful child, shaking, sobbing. His body and hair were covered with sweat. I repeated constantly “Easy, easy, nothing to be afraid of. I’m here. You aren’t alone. No one can hurt you anymore. I’m protecting you.” He gradually calmed down and fell asleep.
At the next morning he was himself, but he was willing to talk about it…
I asked “What was that you were afraid of? Persona?”.
He said “No. It was a darkness. Absolute darkness. It was aggressive. It overpowered me. It wanted to kill me. I felt like I was inside of a dark maze”.
I asked “Did you try to find an exit?”.
He said “No. Fear paralized me. I couldn’t move”.
I asked “Did you feel that that maze had an exit?”.
He said “I think, yes… Yes”.
I asked “Did my presence help you?”.
He said “Yes”.
I asked “How?”
He said “I was relieved I wasn’t alone at that hell anymore. I could relax. Then I closed my “eyes” and when I opened them it was morning, I was sitting in my chair and you were sitting across me”.
I asked “How do you feel now?”
He said “Hungry. Very hungry. Very very hungry”.
I asked “Are you afraid to meet that darkness again?”.
He said “Yes”.
I asked “Do you know what summoned it?”.
He said “Loneliness, I guess”.
I asked “What do you think would happen, if you found the exit from that maze?”.
He said “I don’t know, but I don’t have any desire to be there again. Enough”.
I asked “Was it the first experience of meeting the darkness?”.
He said “Yes. And last”.
After that incident we lived together for 5 years. He kept his “beast” (darkness) under control all that time.
But I know what he meant when he was explaining his condition. My questions weren’t random. I was at that “maze” twice when I was 15 and 17. I went intentionally there for second time to find the exit and I found it. By the way, looking at it retrospectively, that darkness was a mirage. Very convincing, very frightening, but… just a mirage. Nothing to be afraid of.
I know one person who was there too and who found the exit. We talked about it and we reached the conclusion that everyone has his own unique exit and his own unique problem to solve. But invariably, it leads to possibility to change the “settings”, to modify some characteristics, to heal personal wounds.
Unfortunately, no one can do it for you. Not partner, not doctor, no one. You have to go there personally, willingly and alone. Ideally, another person (for example, really good and trustful doctor) can be with you at this moment of “journey” to support, to prevent the self-injury. I guess, many of spiritual organisations and technics have the same goal – to help to find this exit. They can use narcotics to initiate the “journey”, but I personally wouldn’t seek for their help if I needed one. Too dangerous.
In any case, you have to do everything alone, fight alone, to be there alone. If you have a desire to get rid of “beast”, of course. My ex-husband didn’t want to do that. It was his choice and I respect it. We are free to live our lives as we want. Because we can.
I want to add, that this “journey” will be helpful for people with really psychogenic problem (psychogenic trauma). For both Narcs and Empaths types (yes, I said empaths, because they have their own unique type of darkness that drives and makes them so vulnerable for predators). It will be useless for people with functional (brain mediators) and organic brain pathology. In that case, only meds can help.
So, when I hear from my Narc friends “Leopard can’t change his spots”, I always smile and say “Bullshit”. And then we always give knowing smiles to each other, because we all know that I’m right, but they never admit it. Gods don’t have any faults. But problem is that I don’t believe in any gods. They don’t exist. We, humans, exist instead.
You know what happens to an empath when they are knocked down repeatedly, from every direction? Lose everything they value? Have to rebuild again and again?
They lose their fear. And become powerful in their own right.
Fascinating.
I haven’t been able to make sense of what has changed in me. I understood the fearlessness.
But it never occurred to me that empath + fearless + empowered might be a heady and attractive combination.
Huh
I think I finally get it.
Thanks for helping me connect those dots. Always hard to effectively use a tool you don’t fully understand. 🙂
Oh and the likely lads ha
Whatever happened to them?
Exactly and
Oh what happened to me, oh what hapoened to you ? what became of the people we used to be ?
How apt.
The words speak volumes !
Words, always the words.
What happened to actions speak louder than words ?
Hi HG
I was very caring always did everything for him. Any problems he had I’d sort them. He went to India, I couldn’t go so someone else was needed. He let me start thinking for myself, silky mistake.
I never even thought he’d fake an illness till his son told me it was a lie.
I was a good girl honest 😊
I’m sure you were otherwise why else would he have ensnared you?
Exactly HG and I’m proud of my qualities. 😊
Hi Alexis
Hopefully one day I’ll laugh at how ridiculous he behaves and be grateful I’m one that got away.
Been a teary day today so hope the laughs come soon. Xx
No need to be grateful. Be proud of yourself !! You’ve done really well freedom.
It will become funny freedom. Hard as that seems right now, when you get there you will realise how all the odd things they did are rather comical.
Have you ever watched the sitcom, ‘nighty night’. I watched it years ago, loved it but thought it was far fetched.
post N I watched it again, it was still hilarious but I now actually knew people like this !
Hi Alexis
No not watched that sitcom but will have a look for it. I’m sure I’ll recognise the characters 😊
I’ve said if they dramatised my life no one would believe it its too far fetched ha x
I always enjoyed Love Thy Neighbour as a sitcom. Well,not so much the sitcom as the principle.
I’m sure you would like the principle but it should be more fuel thy neighbour in your case 😊
I was looking at never the twain sitcom there’s a few episodes there for you HG.
Ha ha are you saying I overact like Donald Sinden?!
Moi, surely not why would I suggest that ha ha.
I loved Donald Sinsen and Windsor Davies 😍
It entertained me. Rising Damp, On the Buses and Steptoe and Son are all brilliantly written and performed.
It’s scary how much we have in common 😱😱😱
I also loved carry on films, morecambe and wise, in loving memory, open all hours, porridge, bless this house the list goes on showing my age ha.
Aren’t I mean to say your first sentence? Which is your favourite Carry On film? Mind Your Language was another favourite. I watched it recently on YouTube and it is so un PC.
Mmmmmm tricky, well with my live if the Tudors Carry on Henry has to be one of my favourites followed by carry on cleo as I’m obsessed with Egypt.
Loved mind your language used to watch it at my grans. Wouldn’t be acceptable these days 😔
Liked To Sir with Love also 😊
Interesting choice. I always enjoyed Carry on Camping and Carry on up the Khyber. Yes To Sir With Love was entertaining.
Phew so glad I didn’t put my fist thoughts on my fav carry on films or wed have matched. Ha ha
Well I did go with what you had placed on your social media profile, after all, I like what you like.
Must have my social media page confused with another source. I’ve never posted which is my fav Varry on Film. Mmm maybe triangulating me ha ha
Looks to me like you are learning!
Of course I am , I have an awesome teacher 😊
Ha ha I am obliged.
Hi Alexis
Sorry got the two narcs mixed up 😳There’s so many around aren’t there 😔😔.
The more I think about things the more it all slots into place. His son says it was a ploy to make me pamper him and do everything for him. Like an idiot I did.
Seems most ex narc Hoover at some point I think mine hoovered till complete discard then its adios amigos xx
There are so many around Freedom, you’re totally right !!
Yes I think your N’s depression was probably so you’d pamper him. They all come up with some good reasons lol
It cracks me up to be honest all the things they come up with and how far they will go. When you get through the other side freedom, honestly you will see the funny side of it xx
Poor fellow. He has depression and you don’t take him seriously. Is it any wonder he later lashed out? I thought you were meant to be caring? Terrible.
Lower not lover
Freedom, it was a lover level male N friend who feared abandonment and not one I was romantically involved with, though he wanted to be.
The MN had no fear of abandonment because he only got to devalue me a little and I disappeared completely and he had no clue I was going to do that. I cut off all contact with him. But when I see him now, he repeatedly try’s to hoover, even though I just disappeared and never explained to him why. So he can have no fear of abandonment either that or he hoped to suck me back in so he could make me ‘pay’ for that.
Re depression , I don’t think they’re capable of feeling depressed. So likely it was a way to make you feel sorry for him and pamper him.
My ex was concerned about money, everything revolved about it and how the b#%^#%ds were all trying to rip him off.
An early comment from Alexis mentions that her ex was obsessed with the notion of being abandoned so be created that very situation.
That post reminds me of something my ex names mum said to me when I said I’d sent him a message and said I’d had enough of bei g ignored and I wasn’t messaging again it was up to him. She said oh be careful if be thinks you’re going to leave him he’ll get in there first. She was right he did.
He was always saying he suffered with depression I’m not sure anymore if that wa true or just a ploy for sympathy and to control me.
My current narc only has a love for money as well. I remember years ago we had gotten into an argument and that was the first time I had seen actual emotion and of course it was in regards to money… I think he shed one tear from his left eye. Still to this day when he says “But I love you”, I tell him that he has not once shed a tear for me, only money and that he must be confused about what love is. If I say something along the lines of wanting out of the relationship there are no tears or words to get me to stay it is only fury. I have learned that I will have to continue to read about narcs and everyone’s comments or I am afraid I will always be stuck in this relationship. As much as I remember EVERYTHING, why the hell do I place it in storage when it is time for me to go?!
He loved his money and himself. “sorry for the omission on my previous comment.
Thanks you are now my ⛽, I want any knowledge you share so I’ll be certain not to become fuel for anyone. There was and is one thing my husband feared the IRS, he was so afraid of being audited. He was afraid of having his money seized. He was afraid that they could take the one thing (other than himself) his money.
So if you will never allow the creature out, does that does mean that you ARE capable of feeling? Why would you want to hide something inside you? You are perfect are you not?
I feel envy, I feel jealousy, fury an hatred. The very reason I am what I am is because I have been able to keep that creature at bay.
These are your only feelings 24/7?
Your one brother that you have mentioned you’re fond of – how do you describe your feelings towards him? For example, let’s say you both see the new Star Wars movie together and you’re both conversing to recap the movie. Someone you’ve known your whole life that you can converse, share a common interest with and laugh with. Are you feeling some level of contempt at all times even with someone like that?
No contempt but I will need to demonstrate that my knowledge of Star Wars is greater than his and my appraisal of the film is superior to his assessment.
So you could chalk up to healthy sibling rivalry? My point is if you truly felt hate, jealousy and rage every single day, you would get to a point where you couldn’t function well at your job, your demeanor would be off-putting to people, those toxic feelings would take a toll on your health. Do you struggle with any health issues? Heart, ulcers, headaches, etc? There has to be some people where you enjoy their company, their conversation, their surroundings make you feel safe and comfortable. Yes, you get that in the form of fuel, but you don’t find yourself growing bored of them. Can’t an intimate partner become that for the long haul?
And those exact feelings are what my narc feels. This hurts me to know that he feels this type of pain. This I want to fix and this is where I get sucked in.
Extremely accurate description of my Narc. I’m afraid his business peers and friends exhibit the same malignant attitudes. Is there a cure?
Hi Susan,not for him but there is for you. Gain an understanding of what you are dealing with, read and read. Interact here and ask your questions. There are plenty of intelligent, articulate commenters on this blog alongside my naturally erudite scribblings!
well played, malignnarc. (fuel fuel fuel ) !!! ; )
I am obliged.
Malignnarc, when you say the creature would consign you to oblivion, is that because you wouldn’t feel you had a purpose in life? If there were no absolute reason for fuel?
No it is not to do with purpose. It is because I would no longer exist, the creature would instead.
Would this creature contain feelings? Maybe it would be okay to release the creature and feel with your mind and heart.
I can assure you feels just as great as a sensual touch on your neck, awakening your skin and other senses… yes of course pain comes along with feeling but it is worth it.
There is no chance of me ever releasing the creature.
My wannAbe N feared abandonment so much that he always creates the very abandonment that he so fears.
Shades of BPD there with him, Alexis.
I think you’re right HG. Likely Comorbid. He is definitely a lower level N but as soon as I didn’t reply to him once, he mentioned it. But did not pursue and told me he’s not going to message someone who doesn’t reply. Where as the MN I was so horrible to during the lovebombing . Told him he was needy and literally to f*** off and leave me alone. But that didn’t deter him!
Compare and contrast eh? The lesser narc if comorbid with BPD will have paper thin skin hence his response. The MN will have a hide like a rhino when bolstered by our fury!
Goodness HG ! You know too much !!
When I want to know about something I go down the rabbit hole.
Have you been down my rabbit hole ?
Are you afraid of dying HG ?
My N was. But I wonder whether that was all part of his pity ploy or genuine fear ?
My N mother in law certainly was
And I recall an N friend from my teenage years who was terrified of dying because no one would remember who she was in fifty years ? Which I found really bizarre because for me at the time, it was about no longer being with my family or friends.
It is not something I choose to contemplate as to do so is a redundant act. I am concentrated on ensuring my legacy is constructed.
Yes, its a new type of MILF, my Camaro, is. ; )
Ok so malignnarc, can I ask whats the longest you’ve gone without feeding the monster inside? And is it because you would feel less than, or even worse, ordinary, if you did not feed it fuel? You say it would devour you, but not literally, of course. Is it the feelings you can’t fathom dealing with, or is it a physical type of anguish you feel?
Anew type of MILF? I am intrigued. I don’t feed the monster, I feed the construct which garners more fuel for me and also keeps the creature in its prison. Thus your question would become what is the longest I have gone without fuel? I would say a few hours. If the creature go its way it would consign me to oblivion. I would no longer exist. My anguish at this prospect is real.
Do all Narcs have this beast or only the malign ones.. I by the way dont recall having read this at Sam Vaknin.
I perfectly understand your structured description intil the construct falling apart but for the experience I have would be the development of other comorbid psychiatrical conditions like paranoia, bipolar, depression, esquizofrenia ( in spanish) … Is it this what you mean??
I understand from my discussions with the good doctors something similar exists for us all, it may be referred to in different terms by different people. There is always the possibility that some other condition is involved since a number of them do bleed together. If I remember to do so, I will ask further of the good doctors.
If you fear nothing, then what is this creature you speak of in FUEL that lives inside your kind “waiting to wound and injure”, to “escape and wreak havoc trying to remind us of what we are, of our failings and our weaknesses”..? You even go on to say that, at that moment, the attention you’re giving the creature is giving you anguish.
That sounds like a repressed form of conscience, or dare I say fear. It’s a part of your inner workings that drives the quest for fuel, implicitly. So is it the fear of awakening this beast inside you, fuel-free, that is at the heart of narcissistic traits? I’m very curious as to what happens if you let the creature out and not feed it fuel. Does it then turn on yourselves, the pain and agony, you would normally release unto victims?
Hi SS Camaro Broad (is that a type of car by the way?) my fearlessness is what I must show to the outside world. By showing this I am able to gain admiration and awe to keep the creature imprisoned. If that thing escapes because I have no fuel then I will no longer exist. As I wrote, it is nothing that I fear. I would never let the creature out, that can never happen. It wants to devour me and leave me as nothing.
Yes its true… I used not to be so fearful, else I would not have come here to Switzerland against all odds and without knowing anybody, 300 dollars in my pockets, with only the acceptance letter of my uni and a promise from the bank of the not yet approved credit request… There was a time where I was not a fearful person… Well nothing like you so 100% secure but just not having to go through fear often.. Its has come with time but exclusively from the bad experiences of the Past in relationships.. Because apart of that the rest in my life is okay I would say…
I dont really know what changed in me but I did become fearful 😢
Being so fearless and secure, do you have like a hint, that can be easily implemented against fear?? Does something comes up to your mind?? Like coachlike If I may??
Thanks 😃
You create fear. It does not exist unless you allow it to. I do not allow it to exist, hence I am fearless. If I allow it to exist, I become nothing and that is what I fear.
Thanks 😉. So I concentrate on not allowing it.
First of all, the way you end this post is simply brilliant. Second of all; thanks for, with this post, once again, confirming yet again, that my ex is a narc. This is exactly how he sees himself! (Hence why I call him “Hero” in my blog). Third of all: The worst has already been done to me. So there is not much I fear, anymore. I have only one huge fear; if I were to receive another hoover..! 😨 Thanks for sharing this. 😊
Not at all survivednarc, pleased you found it of interest. Yes Hero is an apt label for that is what we are. As I mentioned in another comment much of your fear comes from the past and you seem to recognise that dispensing with most of it. One should not fear what has happened because it has now gone. You fear what may happen and that is something that should be feared. You are facing the correct way.
Funny I posted today an old article I had in my bookmarks on facebook for my bestfriend of university times who is now 35 ( im not that young though) and feels the bioclock ticking and has only met jerks etc. and was having yesterday a crisis because of being alone.. And I just read it and its all the contrary of your article HG 😃… It says stay within your fears in order to find next time the right partner.
What do you think?
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/constructive-wallowing/201510/how-finally-end-the-right-partner?utm_source=FacebookPost&utm_medium=FBPost&utm_campaign=FBPost#sidr-main
Interesting. I certainly agree with the part on repetition compulsion. Funnily enough when I was writing blog posts yesterday one of theposts (it will come out next week) refers to how you want to try again with our kind in the hope of getting things right this time and how you want that chance and not for anyone else (say for instance our new partner) to have the chance to get things right. I see that as an obvious trait with empaths and this is something we exploit in order to Hoover you in again. In terms of finding the right partner, well that is easy, I am over here!
Now, now, you have the lovely Miss Kim, which means you are spoken for!
Ha ha,I belong to nobody.
Yes i see this alot on posts on this blog and other comments I read in some narc recovery groups in facebook, (which I left by the way as they were mainly full with people expressing hate). The women reject totally the idea of their exes finding stability with another one but I think this is not even that they are still on love but lack of working on the ego.
But its not all empaths -for me codependants as Ross said passing by empaths is hiding our problem-because Im really happy that my ex husband and another significative ex I had, are now stable ( kind of an accepted administrative relationship) with their currents girlfriends. well my ex husband is a new relationship but my other N ex is now 6 years with his new. So we talk from time to time (long story why) and then some two weeks ago he comes up like, you were the woman of life..
I answered that he should be thankful for the woman he has now and to hand me over the male version of her … No answer. She is really a great girl.
If I think about my ex boyfriend ( ex since Jan 4.2016 😢) i certainly feel lots of pain if I think him and another woman, which according to your books he must have by now, and I swallow hard but I certainly and honestly do not wish him bad with the next one.. Lucky her if she makes it to happiness with him.. Because for me is not about being only together but being happy and having fun together.
In terms about finding the right partner .. Ill think about your offer.😜😜 Maybe your ex is wishing you the worst so we can give her a surprise 😜😜😂😂 and make it right this time 😂.
So you think you can fullfill being happy with me and at the time contributing that we dont get bored??
I know I can fulfil getting fuel and it is never boring with me!
Never boring sounds good to start with!
Absolutely.
I dont know the others but I find this one inspiring!!!… So no need to say I am a fearful person… But also working on it
I read somewhere that this is also a big reason why co-dependants are so attracted to narcisists because they seem so strong and fearless, contrary to us.
“Follow your dreams, not your fears” .
Thanks for this posting.
You are welcome. Keep in mind that most of you fear originates from the past and that has, well, already passed.
Nikita – I agree with you. If I read this as a bio for someone on an online dating website, I wouldn’t hesitate to hit send on an email intro amidst the sea of bland, boring, vanilla intros of “looking for someone drama-free”. This does sound inspiring and motivating!
Thanks Clarece, you have just given me a marvellous idea. I sense some new fuel tonight.