Narc Club
Narc Club is a special club with an exclusive membership. It is so exclusive that many of its members do not even know they are members but they are. There is no admissions’ committee. Nobody sits in a semi-lit room, cigar smoke wafting through the air as black or white balls are placed in a velvet sack to decide whether someone should be admitted. There are no proposers, no seconders and there is no vote taken. Admission is very straight forward. You are either in or you are not. It is a life membership and no interlopers ever infiltrate this club.
The lesser members of this club, although special in their own way, are unlikely to know they belong. They are also unlikely to recognise other club members and they will proceed through life oblivious but still contributing to the club’s infamy. The more astute and greater members do know they are a member of this special club. They revel in their belonging to this elite. Numbers are very healthy and continue to grow with the club’s reach wrapping around the world. It is international in nature and is devoid of discrimination or prejudice. No matter what your gender is, your race or religion (or absence of the latter), your politics, your wealth, your status or your sexual preference, we draw our members from a wide array of different people. This is no bastion of white, male, middle-aged privilege. This is not some underground hipster collective or secretive nefarious network. It is open to all so long as they fulfil that one criteria of being a narcissist.
We have no headquarters or clubhouse. Instead we appropriate any building that we choose. There is no subscription fee either. The club is maintained from what non-members provide to us. This provision is massively important to Narc Club. Without it, Narc Club would cease to exist.
Like any club, Narc Club has a number of rules which all members must adhere by. Our rules are special in that a member will obey them even if they are unaware of their membership. As soon as you become a member of Narc Club then you are imbued with compliance to these rules. They are pervasive and govern all aspects of a member’s life. What are those rules? You are most fortunate as I am going to tell you what those rules are. I am not committing any cardinal transgression in making you aware of these rules. Firstly, they are not a secret. Secondly, you probably know a number of them already but it is always satisfying to have it confirmed by a Grand Member of Narc Club. So, here they are.
- The first rule of Narc Club. Fuel is the rule.
- Everything Voiced Is Lying.
- It is never our fault
- It is always your fault.
- Membership is for life.
- A member never changes.
- We always engage in Long Involved Explanations.
- We really do adore you.
- We really do hate you.
- We really do adore you again. Repeat rules 8-10 frequently.
- We always win.
- We are superior.
- Everything is ours.
- You are there to further our purpose.
- The fifteenth rule of Narc Club. Fuel is the rule.
75 thoughts on “Narc Club”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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I want to interject that all this is true for narc parents except 7, 8, and 10. Children of narcs are not adored. There is no reason to adore them except as a public performance. There is no reason to love bomb them. They are already owned by nature of birth so the narc doesn’t have to flatter and adore them to win and keep them. By law they are the narc’s property. Therefore narc parents don’t need to give any explanation to a child and they don’t. How dare a child question a narc parent or think they deserve an explanation! Children of narcs learn very early never to question, and they learn a narc parent can do whatever they want but the child must obey totally and completely.
This is the difference between romance with a narc and child of a narc. A spouse feels they have a right to question. A child isn’t aware they have any rights. A spouse gets to enjoy periods of adoration and love, a child never gets to remotely taste it. Think before having a child with a narc!
Thank you so much for this article!
This site really opened my eyes!
I’d like to ask ..
1. “Everything voiced is lying” – Really? You are always lying? About everything? You really don’t even tell the truth sometimes?
2. My second question is If you were to advise as an expert in the field of narcissists and empaths. Is it safer for an empathic person to tell people the truth when they ask them questions or is it safer if that person lied or didn’t answer the questions at all. For example, on topics related to personal life, “Do you have a boyfriend”, professional “how much you earn”, or other family related questions or other personal questions. Today I had such thoughts, Is it better to lie and be considered a liar or would it be better people use my personal information against me? What do you think is it better to tell the truth or lie for an empath?
I promise I won’t ask so many questions. I know you have a lot work to do.
I just couldn’t help asking this question.I will be grateful if you answer.
Have a nice day!
1. What is the “truth” it is all a matter of the perspective. We tell our truth, we may tell your truth or we may lie according to your truth.
2. I need context for this question.
You are something else…I’ve read your books…Actually I’ve read at least 50….Raised by a Narc Father – lucky me….Empath/CoD….IDK…what I know is that at the first read, I’d wondered if you were a survivor of this sh*tshow and wrote as a Narc…But…some of the things you say….yeah….here’s your fuel for the day: you are quite a writer.
Question: If you were seeing therapists/Doctors, have they not tried to make you see that this making women nutso over you, is counter-intuitive to being successful in love? Meaning: NPDs love to exude perfection – like my Father needed a quiet, submissive, selfless wife…and had he not left her for a girl as old as me, she would have stayed and stroked his woolen hair til they died
Why women? I try so hard to understand….my ex would become furious when I told him that he was a misogynist — but he was..he really loved/hated women….much like Good old Papa…
Anyhow…you have been a great reading experience. Thank you and I do hope that you find your soul – in a good way…. Ciao
Sincerely
The Empath
Hi Susan thank you for your kind words. The work with the good doctors is ongoing and there will be more to come as we progress. Do keep reading.
HG interesting you mentioned Bratislava, it appears my ex narc may have acquired a source from there. She’s appeared on his FB as. Friend so I’m informed tut tut and he’s married.
He likes his different nationalities there goes the double standards ( you missed that from the rules ) he was most adamant I was never to have been with anyone who wasn’t white British.
So, I’ve been faithfully following your blog behind the scenes from day 1 and I am intrigued . I can’t help but feel like this is a spin-off of Charlie’s Angels and I have to admit that the suspense of who you are is killing me. It has to be ok if I feel like an angel too.
Btw I’m not Farrah!! Haha
Hello Narcs Angel, I like your name. I don’t want you to die from suspense, that will never do. You must be Jaclyn Smith then yes? Maybe a Bosley will be along to shed some clues!
Interestingly the guy in the centre of the picture you used for this post looks very like someone I dated some time ago. Also very likely an N.
Tell me more about him Alexis.
Without giving too much away, he was more of the somatic kind of N and not a cerebral one. Hmmm yup it was all very somatic, but thankfully I never took him seriously and it suited me well.
So it was Hump Central then? I get the picture you rascal. Poor guy probably wanted to talk and all you wanted to do was lure him into the sack.
Haha well he was keen to talk to me for a few years. yup, he’s one that would never be forgotten.
Why the interest in this one HG ? Do you look like him too ? Nah, the one I knew could never have been as articulate and interesting as you. He was fun though.
I like to know things.Do I look like him? No and as you point out that is not the only difference.
Got me thinking now HG about your ‘britishness’
I wear Union Flag boxer shorts. Is that what you meant?
Wow and patriotic too
But of course.
Because obviously I’ve never seen them HG
There is time yet dear Alexis.
Yet 😉
Ha ha I replied before I saw this message. You get me. You are the only one.
Just pointing out that HG could also be Canadian… we still use the Queen’s good english here as well 😉
The time stamp on his posts does indicate that he’s in the UK though, so alas.. not Canadian at all… unless it’s a ruse to hide his location… in that case HG could be and probably is… everywhere!
Hi Sheila – absolutely. I have a maple leaf tattooed on my back even though I am in Perth, Santiago, Milan, Bratislava, Naples FL, Manchester, Frankfurt, Kiev – as you say I am everywhere!
Haha, really?! A maple leaf tattooed on your back? So does half of my family… I was the hold out though and went for something with more personal meaning and had our family motto incorporated into my own design. No maple leaf for me, I’m proudly Canadian without having to brand myself with it! lol
I imagine you would be. You’ll be in the presence of Empath Greatness!
HG I think anyone that reads all your books is trained enough to identify one of your type anywhere. And somewhere I read that someone had suggested your books should be introduced in school. I think this would be a marvelous idea. Would bring more added value than any other book ever read or any other theorie ever discussed. It occurs to me for example your books could be used to discuss and Analyse Socrate’s, Platon’s or Kant’s theory on kindness 😝😝 my dream would be when I retire and dont need to work 120% to earn a living I would gladly make this awareness campaigns in schools. 😁
I had enough of Emmanuel Kant at university thank you very much Nikita. I appreciate your willingness to be campaign manager though, maybe we can talk terms?
I think you are definitely ready to do the Book Tour junket. Think of the Fuel signing autographs to all your loyal followers…
I am trembling with anticipation already Clarece especially when I visit the Chicago area.
Actually was meant for the students and not for you nor for me 😂😖.. I also had enough and with me it started in school already 😱😱.
No terms to negotiate, I would plan voluntary work and would hope that you are my partner in educating this girls on a non profitable interest…
And anyway would this not be your books being promoted = being bought??
I dont have this entrepeneur vision sorry 😬
Hey true imagine going to all those schools and getting to talk to the pretty young students or even could be pretty teachers 😉😉😉
You would get your return some how ⛽️⛽️⛽️
A veritable filling station
While talking with some friends at work I’ve come to the conclusion that Narc Club is larger then I imagined. Your members really are everywhere HG. The membership seems to be growing exponentially too.. or maybe I’ve just learned to pick them out a lot easier?
That sounds like an interesting discussion Sheila, tell me more please. I would suggest that it is a combination of the two – we are growing in number (I wrote about this in Danger) because the world is geared more to entitlement but you have gained the tools to spot us. Hopefully not all of us though……
A group of us ladies were discussing our ‘ex’s’ as most of us have had previous marriages. I’m not sure how we got on the topic of ‘crazy things we used to put up with’ but the issue of our ex’s doing odd things to keep tabs on us started. That was the first clue that we were talking about N’s, not just ex’s. Things from actually stalking; leaving work on lunch breaks to do drive-by’s to verify we are where we say we are; having people report to our n’s as to where we were seen and who we were with; phone calls letting us know they know where we were and who we were with… typical N behaviour. The whole group of us had similar stories. I see the behaviour patterns in some of the men I work with now and a large majority of the men I used to work with ( I think the correctional field draws them like flies – lots of different fuel sources). I see the pattern emerging in the boys my daughter goes to school with as well from the things she tells me and the conversations I hear her engage in with her friends. It’s definitely a self-entitled generation quickly entering the adult world.
Indeed as I have mentioned before this generation of self-entitled individuals is being bred to supplement our ranks.
My wannabe N thinks he’s part of the club. C list I guess. He regularly gets chewed up and spat out by the bigger Ns but he doesn’t realise it and so he keeps feeding the crocodile !
Ha ha I think I know who you mean. He made a false Platinum VIP Card for Narc Club last week. He’s a trier I will give him that.
Great read. True also. About your last comment, oh no, this empath will never be trapped again.. 😊 (can not speak for other survivors but I hope they will stay away from the club too!).. If it was a night club I would give it a bad review. Cause everything looks shiny and sparkles, but they serve us bad moonshine liquor in the drinks (which makes us go blind) and the olives served at the bar have gone bad too, and make us sick. Etc. The only narc I will keep in touch with is you, to read your blog. 😊
I like your analogy. Do you have a name for the nightclub? I am obliged that you will keep in touch with me.
Thanks! 😊 And of course I do, “Narcs’ Night Delight”… 😁 Just kidding that was just a name in the moment. I’ll let you name it, you are the owner after all. Yep, that’s right, I’ll only visit the club when no other narcs are around but you, haha 😉
Indeed. I think the obvious name has to be ‘Simply the Best’ don’t you?
Haha hmmm.. I don’t know, it might come off as a bit too cocky and scare off some empaths.. 😉 You are funny😄
I know, the VIP area can be called ‘Simply the Best’ and the club can be called ‘Illusions’ with a sham pain bar (that is the correct spelling) called ‘Hoovers’. I am thinking of opening a pub though called the Honest Empath.
See, you got it all figured out! Although I will still secretly hope that you will shut down the club, and ride off into the sunset with someone you love deeply and truly.. 😊 One can always hope! 😉 Take care of yourself and others. Cheers!
You simply ooze empathy don’t you?
Probably. I am a social worker… 😉 If I do ooze empathy as ypu say, that might explain why ex narc is relentless in his hoovering these days… it seems he simply has got to get me back on board…*nervous* 😨 but, staying strong so far, 3 weeks almost now. I would love to hear updates on your sessions with the doctors also, those blog posts are like treats, so exciting to read.☺ Cheers.
Well you are in the right place to spread the empathy. Three weeks? I bet it feels like longer. More will follow from my sessions with the good doctors, so much fuel to harvest though!
Of course. You’re right, I did suffer initially. But I’m actually grateful in many ways as it has made my own life and relationships so much better and stronger.
Some Ns have there uses to us, they can be fun to go out with (some are still quite dull), but I know to leave it there !
It is quite a bleak picture in other way though.
And you’re right HG, Ns are on the increase. How does that make you feel ? Less future fuel
How does it make me feel? Doesn’t bother me in the slightest. Here’s why. The more narcs in society make it easier for a grand master such as me to move around undetected. You empaths outnumber us so there are plenty of fuel providing appliances out there. Even if that changed I would get there first over the lesser narcs. Furthermore you have this wonderful habit of getting caught more than once so you are the gift that keeps on giving although I sense this last comment will not apply to the good readership here.
Of course I would never get caught again.
It’s like learning to read. Once you’ve learned how to, you can never go back.
Yup, I do enjoy seeing the bigger narcs eat the lesser ones!
Aha a member of Club Voyeur eh?
Great article HG.
So what do you think of those of us who have learned to recognise your club members ?
I don’t mean those you’ve helped to educate, just generally speaking
Thanks Alexis. Fair enough if you have learned to recognise members of our club. You will have paid a price for doing so as I have never found anyone who knows about our club and its members without having to have suffered first.
This is hilarious…and I don’t mean that in a derogatory way. It is just so insightful as to where narcissists really live.
Thank you Laurel – humour is a very effective tool.
Indeed it is and coupled with charm, it is extremely successful as you well know.Ir will never work on me again, though.
Indeed it is. What do you mean again? I haven’t tried to seduce you. Yet.
You would NEVER be successful. I have already been exposed to a bigger narcissist than you and since I’m far from being an idiot, I would never allow that to happen again.
What’s all this Laurel, my narc is bigger than your narc? Is this some wild boasting on your part? Grandiosity? Inflating your self-importance? I am wondering if a Narc Club membership card is winging its way to you!
Again, you make me laugh. That’s brilliant. Touched a nerve, didn’t I? I have no idea whose narc is “bigger.” I guess it depends on what we’re measuring.
It simply means this:
I will play with you and I’ll even give you enough fuel to whet your appetite but never underestimate my intelligence and never overestimate your acuity. Someday you will have to address the fact that there are women out there that you will never conquer.
And, sign me up for the Narc Club membership card. I’m sure it would be the most interesting club I ever joined.
I’m obliged. Touch a nerve? Not a chance, you feel with nerves don’t you and as you and I both know my dear chum I am not big on the feeling front. You just wrote that your narc was bigger than me. I don’t know, you are forgetting what you have written. Mind you, it does not surprise me really, after all you are the crazy one aren’t you? I mean, fancy suggesting there are women out there that I will never conquer. As if that is going to happen. More of your crazy comments. I am not so sure that Narc Club membership can be assigned to you now. Try Club Empath it is right up your street!
You’re right! I forgot about the whole nerve/feeling thing. My apologies. And, I also forgot that I’m the crazy one. What was I thinking?
Nah…I’ll take the Narc Club.
I think maybe you think you are doing verbal battle with somebody who is virtually unarmed. I would be interested if you weren’t so funny…and I mean that sincerely. I don’t mind the humorous bantering back and forth.
And, who cares it they’re crazy? They’re still a conquest, right? Well, put this in one of your books….this is one person you would never conquer and if you want to get insulting…well that just fits, doesn’t it?
Who says we are doing battle? I thought we were just engaging in some playful banter. I am concerned by their craziness they try and make me look bad and that will never do. Fortunately I get around everyone first and ensure my view is the one shared by everybody else.
LOL. You don’t look bad. I have said before…I like you. Hey, you never know what us crazies will do or say…
I don’t know what my reaction would be if I ever met you. I have no idea what you look like and I wonder if you are one of these “handsome devils” or if you’re just plain “Joe” who has that narcissistic charm that overrides the lack of handsomeness. I’m trying to remember…do narcissists describe themselves…and if so, do they do it accurately? Challenge there.
And I like you too. How do you know you have not met me already and have not realised?
Because (based on some of the words you use and the spelling) I believe that you are “across the pond” or at least have been there….or maybe it is just another brilliant ruse. I really don’t know…I just get that impression.
Yes the use of ‘s’ rather than ‘z’ and adding an additional ‘o’ when writing the word colour. The Brits are quite easy to mimic and learning their idioms is pretty easy as well.
True. I am adept as well. I can mimic proper British speak…I learned it from my grandmother….so technically, I could just as easily be across the pond…in either direction, depending on where you were.
I think you just gave the game away by admitting you are mimicking it and using the phrase “proper British speak” ! Have a good day y’all! (Is that how you do it?!)
Some of us do. Some of us say “yous guys have a good day.”
Some of us say “tenga un buen dia” or “bonne journee.”
Some of us use “proper British speak” and some of us use “cockney British.” So….which one do you use?
Received Pronunciation.
You didn’t accept my challenge?
Let’s play.
I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours.