World War Me
I am a seething bundle of conflict and vitriol. I have my fury churning away ready to be ignited at a moment’s criticism. The song once asked, “War, what is it good for?” My answer would be. Absolutely everything. War is the tool by which I reign and by which you are kept doing what I want. Providing me with compliance and fuel. I am on a permanent war footing because I am red of tooth and claw. I must always be ready to defend my self against your uncalled for and unwarranted attacks which you are prone to launching my way. I do not know why you do this but you always want to put me down, blame me or go one better than me. I cannot understand why you behave this way, not after I do so much for you. Yet you always do it, managing to ignite my fury with your words and actions. I have no choice of course. I have to exert my superiority over you and if I was to ever fail to respond to your attack then I would be doomed. In fact, so used have I become to these unnecessary and gratuitous assaults which you launch against me that I will often launch my own pre-emptive strike designed to keep you in your place. I am in control. I am god of the world I have created for us and you must always remember this. I would much rather not have to do this. I would prefer not to lash you with my vicious tongue, roll out a silent treatment or in the case of the less sophisticated of our kind, subject you to a battering from fists and feet, but you bring it on yourself. You should know by now what I like and what I dislike, yet you infuriate me still by saying and doing the wrong things. I know you do it on purpose because you are trying to assert some kind of power and authority over me. I have no idea why you feel the need to do this because you cannot ever outgun me. I have batteries of malevolent missiles to launch your way, megatons of vicious exploding insults to rain down on you and so much firepower that I could annihilate you a hundred times over.
Yet, notwithstanding my superior armaments you still insist on trying to do me down and thus I have no choice but to smash through your boundaries, exert my control and blitzkrieg you into defeat. You should know that someone like me who is in a permanent state of war-readiness cannot be defeated. In fact, I know that you do know this but you still exhibit some perverted delight in trying to prove me wrong. You should have learned by now that I am always right and you should accept this. Yet you keep trying to correct me or even worse show me up in front of others. It is little wonder that in the face of such provocation that I erupt behind closed doors and steamroller you into submission. You then have the audacity to call me for my unreasonable behaviour when you started it. This is why I truly do think that there is something wrong with you. Any nation that decided to embark on a full-scale war with the might of a superpower such as the USA would be deemed crazy, it would be a self-destructive and suicidal act. Yet, in the same way you see the might of my firepower, my array of gleaming guns, miles of ammunition and battalion after battalion of trauma tanks and you still provoke me. My fearsome fighter planes which unleash their manipulative missiles against you and the squadrons of bombers which are always ready to carpet bomb you with malice into total submission are obvious to see and yet you still insist on engaging in war with me. I am the lord of war, it is what I have been created for. I am always ready for the fight, I am on high alert and in the moment of a murmured insult I launch into action. I am highly-trained and designed for combat. You are not and still you engage me, trying to outflank me and outwit me. You launch trumped-up accusations at me but they will fall short of their intended target and then you will be subjected to the full might of my armies as I strike back. Anybody who would goad a superpower such as myself is clearly insane and your repeated attempts to do this put you firmly in this category. It is only the truth I therefore tell when my propaganda broadcasts to your family and friends point out that you are clearly unhinged. You are. Your repeated attempts to topple me bear testament to this insanity on your part.
Everything about me is designed to defeat you. I am the anointed one. I am the king of this kingdom and can never be usurped. This is why I have been created as the total war machine. I have been designed in this way to always triumph, my ever-ready condition a necessary pre-requisite to crushing any rebellion on your part. Why not for once finally submit to my hegemonic control? Why not recognise that you can never win and submit to my good governance? After all, I only have your best interests at heart. You cannot defeat a machine which is always primed for war. An outbreak of peace will do you the world of good won’t it?
54 thoughts on “World War Me”
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If you REALLy want to fight…join the Army
(or whatever you have in your neck of the woods).
It must be very very tiring being you HG.
Oh my sweet man it wasn’t all your fault! I know it was just as much my fault! I know you love me and never meant to hurt me of course I’ll take you back!! Ha,ha,ha! See HG I can ‘ve funny too!! Xo 🙂
I love a successful Hoover.
Yes, the room looks fantastic, job well done 😀
I do admit fault in my relationship, I am not perfect , I am flawed. I am fully aware of my flaws and do my best to change them to better myself and others. But, he hates and cannot truly love and I forgive and love…a relationship shouldn’t be an ongoing battle field strewn with casualties.
That made me smile fool me 1 time. I won’t lie, my heart and hope wants to take him back, but my mind and reason guides me otherwise. Therein lies my battle. I fear a Hoover over me soon, based on how I gage my emotions right now. Something is coming. Or it has already arrived.
Very nice karaa ❤️
H.G.s post, made me think a lot about my N and why he did what he did with me. Why it was so exhausting trying to reassure I was not trying to wrong him with my words.
That a question is only the means to an answer. That my needs for an answer, is not a slight or dismissal of his needs. Instead, it was turned around with statements , like….you need help, something is wrong with you or you just don’t know when to stop, do you, or you have no right to ask me that or anything, I owe you nothing. In such times, I always let him vent or rage, because I knew he needed to. As I do not need to be right, it was never about being right. It is only about the question asked and the truth. I never saw it as a power struggle, he did though. He saw my questions as challenging him or criticism of him. To his credit, when I asked and presented fact in the form of evidence to support the truth, he would always admit the truth to me. Then we moved and away from it.
My point wasn’t to antagonize him, it was to show him that if I am given the truth, then I will still love and support him, not resent or humiliate him. I was trying to get him to see the reason behind the question and not see the question as condemnation. I was not approaching him from a vindictive stance, but he saw it that way, so, he saw me as the enemy.
Thank you Nikita xxx
Passion does not seek to hurt, nor does it fixate on ” an object” to contain its passion. Passion expands and there are no wars between fellows, there are only wars within.
More In the sense that if one does not know or cannot control their own emotions. That the rage and fury could be a substitute for jealousy, shame, embarrassment, perfectionsim,et cetera.
If they cannot harness what they are feeling inside and why, then it can spew forth as something else. My N was quite passionate, it teetered on love and hate for me and it spilled into other areas: his temper, his jealousy, revenge, manipulation and so forth.
Whereas, we use passion to fuel healthy emotions, such as love, desire determination. He readily compartmentalized emotions, so love and the ways of love, were a weapon for him. It was always a battle to prove my love or loyalty and to resurrect the truth and sanity. It is difficult trying to fight another’s battle, when they see you as their enemy.
“I too am not a bit tamed—I too am untranslatable;
I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.” –Walt Whitman
This is powerful writing HG, it evoked much emotion in me from the past to present with my N. It made me think , if only he could have heard me past the din of criticism that was never meant to harm him. My original post self deleted. I cannot recreate it, but the sentiment remains in the following words.
He never would have heard these words….would he? All words stated after he felt insulted were Babel to him. Were they not ? It makes me sad, as I tried so hard, but because of my questioning it appeared to him I didn’t try at all. As you stated to repeat the same offences repeatedly.
From the empath to the God of war..
When he wages war, he may find only two ways. That of safety or that of ruin.
I am not your enemy, I stand beside you in battle, to fight for your victories. My words are not weapons made to wound you. My tongue does not lash viscously at you intentionally. I speak my mind openly and honestly and from that, is the pain you feel from me.
You try to wound me In return for my transgressions you see reaped upon you. Do you not see the white flag waving before you, my hands held high in the air, my eyes fixed upon you. I know you cannot hear me, but can you not see either.
Why must one statement uttered, not in harm of you, resound so much more loudly then a hundred words of love and kindness. Why is an apology for any hurt caused to you not enough.
What is a just punishment for my insolence towards you, my tongue removed to never blasphemy you again. As I lay about your feet and beg your forgiveness, is my shame not enough for you.
Wage your war on the enemies within that paint me as your enemy. They deflame you, not I.
Does the anger you feel inside, make you feel stronger to defeat me. Why must you defeat me, I who loves you. Do you think, my love, makes me weak? And an unworthy opponent? My battle plan, is calm, not ruled by rage. I see no enemy before me.
You wish me to face you, not avoid this battle. I stand strong before you. If I have wronged you, then tell me so if I have hurt then let me heal.
War of words and rage only serve to create more pain for you. I do not want to wound you or fight you. If you must attack me then do so directly through your own armaments, not through your legion of spies who have no part in this war of yours.
Do not strike me in my chaos, but in my calm. Where I may see you approaching. It is here, we shall meet and you may have your battle. Wage it, as you will. I am not your enemy. Despite the wounds you have inflicted upon me. See, how my face turns to you, my eyes still reflect the same love. I am not your enemy, lay down your arms. There is no fight between us. Regroup and wage the merits of fact. Perhaps this fury you feel ignited within you, is really passion, misplaced.
There is no war between us.
I like the poem, not the implications of said poem…a return to golden period is consequently a return to discard.
But only because you make us do that.
I cannot make you do anything you do not wish to do, you, in the Universal N sense. If so, then I would make it so no discard would occur…..
Are you open to sharing this experience of sensing fuel, in that whose power do you sense
I detail more about it in the book Fuel and will be doing so further in a forthcoming book all about how the narcissist targets his victims.
I have read Fuel. My question is not about how targets are -perceived-, I am asking with intention of forming dialogue into a deeper question, a deeper conversation of whose power do you sense
I sense the capacity to provide me with power.
Are you saying that you sense the others power….Where do you feel this in your body
No, I sense the capacity they have to provide me with fuel which gives me power.
You do not feel your own power…..
You sense your own empowerment then?
My comment deleted, after screen froze, curses ….
I am still hete
I know. I can sense you.
Interesting. The typo works in either case, of course. What is it that you truly sense…..
Fuel.
Your post so much reminded me of 3 women of my family because my mom describes them with that same sentence ” at war with the world”. 2 of them are my cousins and like you very sucessful careers, extremely charming, beautiful… After all I have learned here on NPD I was suspecting they belong to your kind. Now I am sure.
I have to say I got along with them really well because for some reason I mainly dont contrary people. I unfortunately lack that and am clueless why. It really has to go against me that I raise my voice of protest. It has to be something I really cant stand, else I keep cool. But I saw all the explosion they caused in every single family meeting. Because of everything to everything. If they wanted lunch served at 12 and somebody would say 12.30…explosion. While driving If they thought we should turn left and somebody dared say right… Explosion.
For everything and anything. Even a different opinion.
Funny enough their husbands never dared contrary their dear wives and I dont think they made their husbands submitcto their hegemonic control but they found them like that. They married very late and therefor knew already what they should look for. Those guys adore and praise their wives… But I dont think they will be in love and like this forever…
I anyway think that if people at war with the world do like any other person who is honestly looking for a partner, and look for somebody with the same interests, same principles, tasted etc. there has to be not much of a war.
So next time HG instead of mirroring to your target that you like scubadiving or electronic games, or whatever you want to mirror, then just target one that like you enjoys the same things , thinks more or less like you etc. less war, happier people,
Make love not war ✌🏻🌸💓
I’m all for making love. As part of the war.
Sorry to dissapoint you but that doesnt work… But lets not make war me and you..
Better lets peacefully sleep. Good nite 💋
Only you HG could be charming and frightening at the same time! You truly are a piece of work. 😉 xo
You love it. Admit it.
Yes Nikita, to find common ground where battle is no longer necessary ❤️
Frightening how you responded to that poem. So charming HG….
I aim to please A.
Frightening??
I thought the response funny.
It brought a smile.
Thank you.
I am happy you found the peace that lets you think his response was funny. To me it was very frightening! Just the thought of him trying to return! That kind of strength ( not that I would ever let him back in) to be put through the fury again I just don’t have! I wish you much happiness.
There is no need
To be scared of me
I only want to come back
And make you happy
I know I hurt you
I was once deranged
But please understand me
I have honestly changed
So let me come back
And give me that chance
To show you heaven
And a golden romance
I do not think its funny. I feel. Think is just a phrase. It has no power. Just as thinking has no power. Only the emotion we attach to any thought has power.
That’s how we heal.
We release all the emotional bullshit.
All the bullshit we carry. All shown to us by the narcissist.
They are just frightened abandoned children who are beyond reproach. Beyond love.
Beyond our empathy.
In fact they are maybe not even children.
It will come to me I am sure.
Maybe HG could help.
I invite him in.
Thank you b
Yes fascinating I agree with A. I read it like 4 times!! 👏🏼👏🏼😃
This is a trigger….so many times he got angry with me because I wanted to discuss things that “I should have already known the answers to”….I was always accused of “trying to make him angry”…and not reading his mind…*smh*
Mine always made me feel like it was my only goal In life to challenge him or question him, equaling it to not loving him. I am a questioning person, it was never an affront to him. Sad he always saw it that way. Then punished me duly for that misconception.
As a tertiary source with intermittent contact it blew my mind how he expected me to read his mind in all seriousness!! He honestly thought I should know what he’s thinking without him saying anything!! I couldn’t wrap my head around his idea of good communication: I say nothing and you act as if you know my thoughts. He wouldn’t discuss anything that became an issue because he was already mad at me for not realizing I was not doing what he wanted without ever voicing what he wanted. Not to mention anything about my thoughts, feelings, opinions, or even the value I wanted to and had the ability to add. Everything was about him. No one else mattered, they only exist to service him. If we aren’t doing that without him expressing what he expects, everyone is wrong. That’s the only problem he can see.
The thing is…..
It’s all just words now…….
Words that once could kill
Now not even a bitter pill
To take
To swallow
The empty words are wind burst hollow…….
From a void so dark
A pit less deep
The fear through words
The denial you keep.
It’s yours now
Yours to own
My heart never was your home
To face death three times
To return
To keep
To love what’s truth
With the fall less steep.
Honesty a begotten friend.
Goodbye dark soul
For this is no longer your home.
Yet though you cast me from your home
Forcing me to wander and roam
The fury inside will always burn
Ensuring that I shall one day return.
Ha!
Since peace has descended in my life, three female narcs have tried.
All failed.
You people are nothing if persistent.
As my father said is it a price worth paying?
No longer……
Thankfully in my youth I had very strong narcissistic traits. Quite common in the young male.
It took me thirty years to draw on that experience.
I actually manipulated my own discard.
Didn’t then have the courage to leave her yet again.
The discard was suitably callous enough to warrant even the fool as I was to return.
Interesting blog.
You are the best!!! ☀️☀️☀️
I know !
Oddly I wrote a poem about personal battle the other day. I do enjoy poetry so much. The darker the better.
Like chocolate.
I only like dark chocolate
HG this makes so much sense now and I know you don’t find this tiring but I wanted you to know that I feel exhausted on your behalf
Ha ha ever the empath Alexis.