Cashing In
When you first show up in my sights I open a bank account. The details look something like this
Bank of Me
Account Holder : A Victim
Sort Code : 666 666
Account Number : 0000 1455
You are now aware that I have opened such an account but everyone (and I mean everyone) I interact with has one. My friends, my family, my colleagues and most of all those that I enter into an intimate relationship with. This bank is well established and on secure foundations. In the beginning, when we begin our dance together, as you know, I will shower you with love, praise and affection. The love bombing commences and the extravaganza of giving and delight seems endless as the golden period begins. The gifts, the holidays, the parties and the special dates. The incessant and over-the-top communications all dazzle you and you lap it all up. Whilst this is happening you are creating a monumental overdraft at the Bank of Me. You are given no notification of this, you are not told about your limit (there is not one incidentally) nor are you advised of the punishing, excruciating interest rate. Receive that gift of some jewellery – kerching, that’s another hefty withdrawal. Accept the invitation to go on a long weekend break with me somewhere hot – ouch, that’s going to take some paying back. Withdrawal after withdrawal is made from your account and it seems like this can go on forever, but everyone pays in the end.
When I grow tired of you it is time for the account to be put on hold. You have taken far too much and this is when you start to pay. This bank will now only accept deposits and those must be deposits of your emotions. The problem you have is that this bank has massive demands because in order to lend to the new customer (victim) that has just been acquired we need you to make those deposits in a bid to balance the books. Not only that but the extortionate interest rate means that you can never pay back what has been taken out. Yes you will make some inroads into the amounts you have borrowed but guess what? When we see that you have made some progress we will allow you a short golden period again so your overdraft increases once more. You remain forever indebted to us, unable to escape this cycle of debt.
Like the spendaholic who is given an extension to his or her overdraft limit you immediately use it as you fill up with the brief foray back into the golden period. It will not last. A block is soon put in place again on your spending and we force you to repay us with anger, tears, frustration and pain. Good morning madam, is that a bag of misery you would like to deposit? Good, go right ahead. Hello sir, I see you have some agony to deposit with us today, thank you, be sure to being some more soon. You will be surprised just how flexible this bank is accepting a whole host of currencies by way of deposit – despair, rage, sadness, loss of sanity, loss of self-esteem, hopelessness, dejection, trauma and so much more.
Our ledgers are never prone to error. We detail and recall every withdrawal that you have made, all of it carefully committed to the bank’s memory so that the outrageous demands for repayment can be made over and over.
There is no financial regulator that can close this bank and it remains a popular bank with many customers on its books. Just keep in mind that you will never stop paying for its services.
11 thoughts on “Cashing In”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Hello N –
We have corresponded before under a different article “smear campaign”
I’m not witty enough to put assign a banking analogy to the process of divorcing a N … but here we are. Trial around the corner, hopefully we can settle without trial fees. Time to start preparing myself I’m sure this is where he brings me to my kneees … I really need specific advice on how beat him at his own game. His favorite book of all time is ‘the art of war’ Please advise .
Hi G, for such a subject as this it would require more information as to the way he behaves, what has happened so far and the specific questions you would want answering. To that end, the best route would be to organise a private e-mail consultation which can be done by clicking on the button on the left hand side bar. This allows you to ask unto 4 questions, receive a confidential, prompt and tailored e-mail response.
That’$ a great analogy.
Thank you
What kind of relationship would begin with devaluation first , without the seduction….what would that mean or what type of narc would devalue some one before seducing them….have You done that to any of your victims ?if so, and during such stage when the victim maintains their balance of giving love, support and attention, then does the narc now owe an overdue amount to his victim for withdrawing and not depositing? Or is it only ever that way for the narc, the balance is only ever one sided in their favour?
My N did all the things he did during love bombing continuously through entire relationship, even before and after devaluation began In terms of silent treatments. He maintained aspects of seductiion, he always praised me, told me he loved me, sex was always perfect, he never once attempted to discard me.
Our bank deposits were fairly even, other then He would leave me and I wouldn’t leave him and he would rage at me, but I would emote equivalently.
Balance in his addiction to my care and my addiction to his desire.
He never made me feel I was over drawn, but more that I paid in too much.that he owed me. I never demanded payment. Services were appreciated and reciprocated.
Thank you for the business…and he will come again.
The only instances where there might be devaluation first is degrading strangers and minions who have not first been seduced. For instance, insulting a stranger who has walked in front of us or lambasting a waitress for being slow with my order. I would not regard those proximity of supply sources as ones with which I have a relationship. Beyond that there would always be seduction since the seduction ensures the devaluation which follows is all the harder. We lift you high to throw you down further. Other proximity of supply sources are seduced to maintain the façade and may not face devaluation as the maintenance of the façade is a counterpoint to the devaluation of the primary source, namely an intimate partner. The balance is only ever one sided.
Thank you for a most thorough reply 😊 I wondered as my N1 use devaluation during seduction as well, and it was nothing remotely close to the ongoing seduction phase of N2. Thing 1…lol…never used silent treatments during devaluation, it was only physical and verbal humiliations and escalations.
N2 only used silent treatments to devalue , while continuing to be affectionate, loving in words and actions, doing all the same things for me he did while love bombing, between silent treatments. I often determined silent treatment to be levied upon me for questioning, knowing and being willful. A measure to show me he was indeed In control, when he probably questioned if he really was in control. Perhaps, he saw it as his only means of control over me.
You are welcome.
I’ve got a loan to pay back one with much more manageable payments and interest rates.
But thanks for the info HG 😘
Ha ha, the door is always open Freedom.
Thanks HG 😊