Possessing Possessions
I have a fascination for inanimate objects. Show me a beautiful watch with its intricate mechanism on display and I shall sit transfixed for a long time admiring the craftsmanship in this creation. I like to touch one of my favourite suits relishing the sensation of the cloth. I will hold it up pleased with the way it hangs and then of course admire how I wear it in the mirror. A sculpture, a painting, a car or a piece of jewellery. They all invite my admiration. They are items of beauty and superiority and as such firmly belong in my world. Moreover, they do exactly what I want. I love my dishwasher. It always works. I press the buttons and it obeys my commands, quietly churning away as it removes the residue from the expensive crockery. The glassware comes out shining, without streaks or marks. Each and every time. Objects are reliable. They perform as I require them to perform. I love nothing more than an appliance. It complies, it obeys and it delivers. I love possessions.
I love to possess you and make you an inanimate object. That is how I see you. You are an appliance which I expect to do as I demand.You are but an extension of me, placed here to carry out my demands and whims. I like to attach brand names to my ex-girlfriends. Becky was Zanussi – she was good at science, thus she was the appliance of science. Sarah was Nike since I had to tell her to Just Do It.(she called me Burger King – have it your way, I quite liked her).Another was Energizer as she kept going and going and going (but that’s another tale). I like to think I am Tag Heuer (Success. It’s a Mind Game).I objectify everybody and assess how they can be a good appliance to me. Once that is done I have to acquire the appliance. I have possession of you and you must act as I dictate. All my other possessions do, so why should you be any different?
42 thoughts on “Possessing Possessions”
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It’s always been “crockery” to me, not special nor fancy … dishes, dishes?? That’s the washing up!
made ma laugh .. really funn post..thank You G. xxx I wonder what my name will be hahaha…no, no… I’m just me and I AM different. ..aren’t I? 😉
“as it removes the residue from the expensive crockery.”
What a trip. Crockery. Nobody I know ever says that word here in the states. We know what it means. We just never say it. Love it.
I remember in the early days of this blog as vociferous and fuel-providing poster mocked me for using the word “crockery” calling me less of a man for using such a word, rather than “dishes”. Of course her intended criticism failed, since it was surrounded by insult and profanity and it amused me. I task you with using the word crockery three times today apocalipznow in context and once done you can declare, “Smells like victory!”
What dishwasher do you own?
Dalisay. She works hard and always has my crockery clean.
i do remember the comment!!! I also started using crockery and here its really a special word 😂😂😂. I even look to see if the people know what I mean. Its fun.
I remember her quite well. She was always rubbing in how well her “real man” treats her now. I used to wonder “then why are you here if you’ve moved on and are well adjusted to things?” I thought she was kinda ballsy with you on her comments.
Yes she enjoyed throwing the insults. I enjoyed the fuel.
Correction: Smells like crockery.. (one down, two to go).
BTW I wasn’t making fun of your use of the word ‘crockery’ (2 down, 1 to go). I was amused by the different terminology we each use. That chick that said we say “dishes” was wrong. We’d say pots and pans or casserole dish for ‘crockery’. (ALL 3 and it smells like victory!)
Indeed Apocalipznow I realised that you were not making fun. So would you refer to plates, cups and bowls as pots? Yes it smells like victory, I am of course Colonel Kurtz (although I am not insane obviously) to your Captain Willard.
No. Plates cups and bowls are collectively dishes. Who’s Captain Willard? Is he on MASH?
Captain Willard was sent to track down Colonel Kutz.
how aDoRKable
Dalisay!? What the… LOL!
That made my day. Thank you.
Absolutely fascinating how you describe the mind of a narcissistic who demands control, he desires for persons to act like appliances, just produce and don’t take back. If one does not do, they usually go to the next person that will.
Thanks Jessica and yes if the appliance stops working it is discarding and on to the next one.
If a target becomes wise to the process and stops fueling, will the N stop and go away?
The N will increase efforts (dependent on the type of N he or she is) to gain the fuel and if fuel is not forthcoming, it must be obtained elsewhere so the target will be left alone until a hoover occurs at some stage.
Hmm… There was never an effort to ramp up the contact or pressure, but always lots of transparent lies, “forgetting” appointments, blame-shifting, and blatant triangulation (“no really, we are just friends!”). So much of what you write looks blaringly familiar. This person is not the sharpest knife in the drawer, and it is really hard for me to give this much credit of intellect to him. I told him early on, “your biggest problem is that you think that you are stealth, but you are not.” I had to explain how “location services” feature on the phone works, and tell him to deactivate this if he plans to lie about his whereabouts to future ladyfriends. O.O If this friend was a narcissist, it was of a very low-functioning nature, I guess, but he sure received plenty of disbelief-fuel from me for awhile. Revolting to think back upon.
Thanks for adding in that detail, I did laugh when you referred to having to explain how location services work, he is certainly from the lesser school. He needs to do a re-sit at narc academy with a schoolboy error like that. When it was happening did you just “sense” it was odd behaviour or did you recognise it as blame-shifting and triangulation?
The lie was so sophomoric and obvious (and unnecessary), it required some thought before responding. I think I pointed out that if other plans were made, it was unnecessary to lie; and explained (requiring screen shots and several step-by-step attempts) how location services work. It set the precedent of distrust for me. The blame-shifting blew my mind, but that came much later. From the beginning, it was obvious that our wants were quite different, so I kept asking him to forget me, just let it go. I was “done” more often than not, but he would react with insistence that he did not want me gone, which was weirdly flattering. There was a silent treatment which was never fully explained. This person avoids face to face because (I guess) it is harder to pull a lie off directly in person. I am still not sure if he qualifies as a narcissist. As a man in his 50s, the revulsion was complete when a coworker showed me screen shots of his attempts to seduce an 18-year old. Now, he just seems pathetic. The teenager was disgusted: nobody expects that grandpa is looking at them that way at that age! I was thinking he might be sociopathic, until I started reading your work. Can he really have put this much thought into his manipulation, or does it just come naturally?
Elements are natural, knee-jerk reactions if you will and with him being lower functioning then much of his manipulative behaviour will have arisen as a natural reaction. It is amongst us higher functioning types that there is the pre-meditated scheming and planning.
The thing which did jump out at me was lack of interest, even feigned: he appeared very interested in person (with his eyes and body language, proximity), even to the point of boldness. But as far as interest in me personally, there was nothing. No questions about past, favorite-anythings, how was my day, what am I building, etc. Quite the contrast to normal new relationships of any kind. “I miss you” or any such sentiment would be met with “Awwww….” but never anything reciprocal. And surrounded by highly intelligent family, I am hypersensitive to deception via semantics. I pointed it out, too, with no response. Via text, of course.
Ohhh HG. The answer taken out of the freezer.
Excellent Illustration. However unfortunate for both parties in the train-wreck destiny of this relationship. It’s a blessing to finally understand our “magnetizing” conditions that draw us toward each other and exit these toxic relationships, yet sad how much emotional suffering has to take place before “one” finally gets it. Even sadder is that “some” victims/perpetrators never will. Raise awareness in every direction.
Very well explained to understand this characteristic which I find common all through the spectrum, because no matter how different they are, the possesion and control is very typical and we dont identify as bad because growing up with a nacissistic parent you are my children, my daughter etc.
I came to realize this on my own, that I was considered as a possesion whith the extreme jealousy of my ex. He would even tell me where to walk, i noticed avoiding crowds of men, and turn to look at me to see if I would dare turn to look at any of those men. Of course ai looked straight ahead, but always wondered why this jealousy if he was clearly always on the top level of handsomeness concerning men, and the worst part is that he knew it but nevertheless the need to control was extreme. I still cant figure this out completely. Alot of narcissists are very very handsome and nevertheless extremely jealous. This gives this possesed feeling how you write above. HG. Do as I say.
Co -dependants and specially women because of the cultural influence that a man is superior, tend to be okay with this to a certain degree. In my culture men are still seen as bosses and superior.
Like all in life, its okay when you find a balance. Or better lets own each other 😂😂😂😂. That does not work with Ns right? 😂😂
Have a nice day HG. thanKs for posting again. It brings back memories that make me reflect again, like all your postings do. they are not just information you swallow and leave there but information you can easily break up into daily life and extract a conclusion and learning out of.
☀️⛽️⛽️⛽️⛽️☀️⛽️⛽️⛽️⛽️⛽️. Take Care. 💋
I fooking hate u sometimes
Nice use of the Mancunian version to get around the profanity filter (not that there is one).
laughing…….yes, thank you for the true freedom of speech, it’s more liberating to be able to express oneself profusely 😉 xxx
I fucking hate you sometimes
In retrospect, I see how many times I was told “your job is to submit and please me”. At the time I always just thought it was flirtatious foreplay before we would get together. Nope. Now with some distance and after many longer silent treatments towards the end…he literally was commanding me for every minute of every day in every possible scenario. For the longest time I would hear how he loved how I listened to him. It all comes to a head when you start expecting they should listen to you too.
Indeed Clarece.
H.G., is that sarcasm or are you agreeing with my last statement?
I am agreeing. Don’t get too used to it.
Great minds think alike!
So true and exactly what I experienced… He loved how I listened to him….I could see and physically feel, how uncomfortable he was when I expected the same…
Making me smile in the middle of the day…😊 I wonder what my name would be…. Your writing talent and sense of humor… Too good…
Thank you Evan. If my tendrils ever ensnare you I will let you know what your name is.
Haha…no thanks, I don’t think my heart can take anymore…
Oh go on. Just for me.