The Dead Eyes of Darkness
The author Hilary Mantel once described the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, as being “a plastic princess with dead eyes”. Now, the duchess is not one of us (we infiltrated the royal family by marrying in over 30 years ago) but we were drawn to the comment about dead eyes. We get that a lot. There is a fascination about our eyes and if memory serves, they draw the most comments about us physically that I can recall. I have variously had mine described as “Cold and dead, like a shark’s”, “like pieces of coal”, “green and envious”, “possessing that cold, chilling stare” and “lifeless”. An ex-girlfriend, Kate, would tell me that she loved my eyes. This was when I was seducing her. She explained that whenever she looked into them she saw herself reflected back and she loved this because she knew that she was very much “in my eye”. Interestingly enough, eight months later she referred to this reflection as “I look into your eyes and see nothing there, just my reflection looking back at me.” I always disliked her contradictory behaviour and failure to make her mind up.
These comments set me thinking as I am a reflective kind of fellow. As I explained in ‘Falling into Place’ I have learned how to create a mask of feigned emotion but it would appear that the one part of my face which was letting down the façade was my eyes. For some reason, no matter how hard I studied the emotions and reactions of others, this just did not happen with my eyes. As you know, I like to know the answers to everything and I did some reading around and observed that repeated people refer to the eyes as windows into the soul. There lay the answer to my conundrum; the soul and the eyes are inextricably linked. The absence of soul was being reflected in the deadening of my eyes. This required immediate attention and rectification. I now wear sunglasses a lot, even indoors.
82 thoughts on “The Dead Eyes of Darkness”
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Aside from the piercing stare my ex’s eyes were always deeply sad.
But there was something in the timbre of his voice that was completely intoxicating to me…
One good clue is to listen to the way they laugh, kinda strangled but at the same time too loud and awkward?
I’ve seen the eyes of an N do four things:
1. Penetrating, predatory: when you’re being sized up as potential fuel. If you’re not aware of red flags/want to believe this person is benevolent, the predatory stare can be mistaken for a sexy, come hither gaze and can be very attractive.
2. Blank, flat, “dead.” Usually seen when the N is in a rage or you have denied them fuel. This is really their default look. There’s nothing behind the eyes. You may also catch a glimpse of it at random times even when they are not in a rage, but it’s passing and you won’t be sure you saw it. I’ve seen the eyes of my N ex go entirely black, like alien eyes. My mother had pale blue eyes and when she was enraged, her pupils completely disappeared, making her look like Little Orphan Annie. Very scary.
3. Normal looking: when the N is trying to blend in and not be suspected. They are good at appearing normal, even the eyes.
4. Beautiful: partly an illusion. When you’re under the spell of an N who is working on you, you see whatever you want to see, mostly yourself reflected in their eyes.
What color eyes do you have, HG?
Interesting observations Luckyotter on the different types of eyes that manifest. Adopting your numbering, my eye colour is as follows:-
1.Red
2. Black
3. Blue
4. Bright Blue
Red for the predatory stare? But that would scare away potential fuel. How do you get around that?
Red as in a penetrating laser beam scanning for the traits.
Done in such a manner they have no idea what they’re in for either. All they see is the eyes of a friendly, interested person, even if the eyes seem a little intense, they probably take that as “romantic interest.”
Absolutely.
My ex narc always wanted to look in my eyes. He said he could see the passion in my eyes and it excited him.
I thought the gaze he gave back was if intense passion, silly me. Now I k kw it was because of the vast fuel supply he’d uncovered and was basking in it.
Absolutely Freedom. He could see the burning fuel.
Exactly. Better impossible
Wow- 100% spot on luckyotter!
Good job, thank you
Thank you.
I loved! Loved! Loved! My narc eyes! His eyes and freckles is why I would go to bed with him every night!…. And day!
Twice a day!
*purrs*
(Sorry to learn your eyes are wack HG!)
Oh you would love my baby blues D. You can have a long look into them after I emerge from the 24 hour room!
Psst!
As if I’d be sticking around after 24 hour room!
I’d duck out before 24 hours are up and let the good doc fill me in on the rest.
Eyes like Ryan Giggs !! Totally seen them on many people.
My MN didn’t have them but the N did. MN had warm and friendly eyes. Hmmmm maybe that was just my reflection 😉
We do not like Ryan Giggs. Yes Alexis it was your reflection.
Because he’s one of you ? Or a Utd thing ?
Because he plays for Yernited.
Oh HG, we have even more in common than I first thought !! Now I know I’ve probably been within a few hundred yards of you too 😉
Don’t tell me you support Manchester United do you?
no way HG !! That why we have something in common 😉 So you must follow one of three teams and I’m hedging my bets on that one !! #gooner !
I detest Trafford Rangers aka Salford United aka Manure aka Manchester Yernited.
Are you a blue supporter then HG ?
Les Bleus?
If you’re not a man it’d fan are you a man city fan ??
Whoa. Did I just read that right? A rare moment in humility. I’m relieved there’s something that cannot be falsified. The windows to the soul. Although it seems that wearing shades indoors would draw more attention to what is hiding underneath them, no?
In an unrelated inquiry..who do you look like, celebrity wise? Is there someone people say you resemble that we would know here in the States, also?
Let’s see. Brad Pitt’s lips, Michael Fassbender’s nose, Benedict Cumberbatch’s forehead, Daniel Craig’s eyes, Tom Hardy’s ears, Daniel Craig’s hair, Tom Hiddleston’s eyebrows, Chris Evans’ chin and Ioan Gruffud’s cheeks.
Daniel craig 😍
I had to google all those other guys and tried to imagine you…. So you must be extremely handsome 😍
But of course.
Hahah of course. 😍And if you would have to pick one? Which one would you be more near to in looks?
Burt Reynolds.
Hahaha very funny. I got you. You are trying to confuse me. Burt Reynolds has nothing to do with the list of guys above.
so lets leave it on Harrison Ford.
But Burt is the man. You will love my bristly moustache.
In principle this is very unattractive.. You mentioned some time ago you did not have any mustache!!! LOL.
Whatever. Like I said you are the king.
I have an emergency ‘tache which I can apply should the need arise. I keep it in a handcrafted mahogany box next to my bed.
Tache?? For what?? That is a clasp right?
For when I must play the dictator. Dictators like a good ‘tache.
Dictator? We went from Burt Reynolds to Pinochet? Is it about Sex role play? Or I missed a comment?
..soooo, basically, Alfred E. Newman? Got it.
Ha ha very funny. I’m not mad either.
…but you are Cracked.
The eyes of the narcissist tell it all, but I still would not agree all have void looks.
I have never seen myself reflected im their eyes neither, but yes they do are differente from other peoples eyes.
What is special to me about their eyes is that rage reflects so well in them. I had one ex, i would say aware of his NPD, so he never lost comtrol, never raised his voice, nor lost his temper but anyway he became angry very easily and he coukd evem pretend not being angry. So the anger reflected so well in his eyes I learned to identify it. I would look into his eyes and know immediatly if the subject or my doing was making him angry. Sometimes even taking my phone in my hands or not doing things as his same speed 😂😂… His eyes would let me know. I know sometimes he did not comment because he did not want to spoil the day…
This is the part that I miss with HG. Not being able to see if something is upsetting him or not . I push the button ” post comment” and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻, aware of the difference in way to view life, its tricky and you can make them easily upset without even noticing… And sometimes its difficult to think like an N when you are not one in the heat of the discussion…
HG what about making like in facebook an icon for your eyes in the blog, so that you can tell us how its going ? If we upset you…
😡. F#1!!!!
Have a nice day. ☀️☀️ . Glad the blog is back😃. There were some very funny comments yesterday.
I never get upset. Just furious.
Hahaha i know. That was one of the first things you told me when I joined the blog. As I used to be a very impuctual person, I gave an example if you would get angry if I would be late… And you answered i would get not angry, but furious. !!! 😂😂😂
That could be the name of your next book!
Ha ha.
I told you he had you yesterday. 🙂 HG, although you don’t know the posters you must gain more fuel than you are willing to admit when you see someone acting so desperate to please you or is concerned if they have made you mad. Thus, the silent treatment or no comment. Hehehe. I feel for the victims of these types of people but it’s entertaining for them to think you are not the person you write about and you definitely aware of the manipulation and proudly admits how much your type hates weakness in your victims. For me in don’t see much manipulation from a personal point but as a business strategy. If a person was confused prior and only depended on the information from other survivors /victim blogs. You have made it very clear how your kind operates. I know your type search out empath, but I think you can detect the neediness, approval, low self esteem, and childhood issues. Such as lack of love from parents or peers. We can be our worst enemies. Especially, searching for validation continuously or harden our hearts and take on the traits of the predator. You mission is accomplished (according to dr. expectations) someone mentioned being nosey or need to investigate. Hell, you come here read your blogs books are the bonus to remind us to stay the f***from these people. It’s like an addiction, some just jump from one to the other. And, after viewing some of the comments it makes me wonder if the some of the partners are sociopaths or narcs. Or they just ran for the hills. NO HARM INTENDED
Entertainment
Hi there!!! I like your name 😃.
I have difficulties following all you wrote and its interesting so I want to understand.
Can we go by parts?
Its a mixed message right? Part to me and part to HG?
The part for me is that you are telling me I am a pleaser and giving HG fuel and that I posses all the weaknesses of the codependants, and that its obvious and addiction trait?
You are probably right on that. I do admire him very much, I totally ❤️ To read what he writes. Fan No. 1.
I dont think I am addicted, I just like him and the blog very much.
Now concerning the last part. You think I could also be a narcissit or a sociopath?
Please let me know if I understood you well as I like to understand things 100%. Thank you.
Interested to look into your eyes.
Hello A Passionate Dreamer, you would like that, you would see everything that you want.
And you would see a soul full of compassion, love and empathy that you cover.
Typos at 4:30 a.m. are never good. The last word was meant to be “covet” not cover.
And you would see a soul full of compassion, love and empathy that you covet.
Right after my XN first kissed me….the FIRST thing I said? “I see nothing behind your eyes” (That dreaded empathic intuition!!!! I dismissed it!) 🙂
And Love how you hated HER contradictory behavior.
You must be the life of the party, HG LOL! You always make me smile haha
Of course I am Susan, everything revolves around me.
Great image HG!
Thanks Bethany.
About yourself that is.
You’ve got a sense of humour! I’d like to see more of that 😉
Of course I have. It is one of my main methods of attracting people. I should be on the stage.
Oh, it’s gone again.
Ha ha very good.
This topic has always fascinated me, mostly because I am unable to see the “dead” or “life” in eyes. I literally sat on my N’s lap, looked straight in his dark brown eyes and said ” they look normal to me.” Of course he has always rejected mine and others assessment that he is a N so he replied by saying “I told you there’s nothing wrong with me.”
Well there is nothing wrong with us, naturally. It is all your fault.
HG,
I can’t imagine you with cold, dead, and black shark eyes….. I imagine your eyes to be big, bright, and full of life !!!
N2 had shark eyes….they never danced with life…they were just dead and cold….
T, my eyes are big, bright and full of life. They do change though.
Hopefully we will see them for ourselves one day, HG….like in LAS VEGAS?! LOL #teamtudorlasvegas2016/17
Ha ha if the sunglasses come off.
We will take you on your terms…glasses and all! #teamtudorlasvegas2016/17
That’s right T! Surely H.G. wants to meet his fan base State side!
Yes! And forget the top of The Stratosphere for cocktails….we shall rent our own private ride on The High Roller with our own bartender!!
#teamtudorlasvegas20116/17
https://www.caesars.com/content/cet-global/caesars-com/linq/high-roller/_jcr_content/extra_content/cetlistitem/image.stdimg.std.l.cover.jpg/1452555827104.jpg
Vegas is sounding better and better H.G. It’ll be hard to turn down…especially if T and I are there!
Much as I like you both let’s not lose sight of who the real star is shall we?
Lolll Heavens no H.G. The gobo light shines directly on you! I’m just an Evil Tour Groupie!
Ha ha.
My mum always says the eyes tell a story.
It’s strange you mentioning about wearing sunglasses, my ex Nara new wife has posted a pic on twitter of them both and guess what…. He’s wearing sunglasses ha ha
Bingo!
Ridiculous
Cold black empty eyes. Scary.