Infatuation
I have never known anybody like you. You are amazing. You are so loving, so kind and so gentle. Everything you do makes me happy. I didn’t think that was possible, not after the last person I was involved with. I don’t want to go on about that person for too long, why spoil this wonderful moment eh? Suffice to say they were not what I thought they were, a con-artist and a charlatan who made me think that they were something else and they took advantage of my good nature. I know you will not do that. I know you are too good a person. It is written all over you. I cannot believe how lucky I am to have found you. I wasn’t really looking but I am sure glad that I have found you. You are amazing. Have I told you that already? I can see you nodding. Sorry, I am just so excited to have finally found you and I am just so excited about all the adventures and fun we are going to have together. You really are everything that I have ever wanted in a person. There are not enough wonderful adjectives available to describe, there really aren’t.
My friends think I am nuts, but in a good way, because all I do is go on about you. I tell them the places we go to, the marvellous days we spend together and just hat a special, precious and loving person that you are. It restores your faith in human nature after all of the terrible things that have happened, sorry I am mentioning them again, I must stop doing that. I am all over the place, in the good way, this is what you do to me. Anyway, I tell my friends all about you, all of the time and I know that they are delighted to see me so deliriously happy because they have not seen me like this for some time. I have such plans for you and I. Wonderful, momentous and special plans. I want to tell you all about them now because they are that good, but I am not going to. I don’t want to spoil the surprises. This feels like my birthday, Christmas, a promotion and a wedding day all rolled into one. I know you might think I am going over the top but this is how happy you make me feel. I feel like I am on fire, fizzing with anticipation and joy. It is truly sensational and it is all down to you. You have brought this out in me. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know what I would have done. You rescued me and made me smile. You are my world. I mean that. I want to be with you all of the time and forever because you are so giving, so warm, so loving, so considerate, so funny, so attractive and well, just the very, very best. I have told my family about you, naturally and they cannot wait to meet you. I think they are nearly as excited as me. I think of you as soon as I wake up and you are in my thoughts all through the day and as I lie down at night I think of you again and wonder what you are doing and wish I was with you right at that moment.
You move me to the extent that I want to do great things for you and I and everyone else. You inspire me, you drive me and you motivate me. I feel completed now I have you, like nothing can ever hurt me and I know I will never let anything hurt you. That can never happen. I need you and I hope that you need me, we are a partnership and cannot be torn asunder, no matter what the world throws at us.
You will probably have seen my Facebook page littered with all those comments about you. I just feel them welling up inside of me and I have to let them out, give birth to them if you will and let them be shared with the world. It is the right thing to do, to allow such joy and happiness to be shared all around. Why shouldn’t other people be happy as well because we are? I want you. I want you more than anything I have ever wanted before I will do anything with you. I want us to be together, I want us to be one. I want us to grow old together and still be in love in sixty years as we are now. I know what we have is so special that we can achieve that.
I know I am babbling on but it is all good isn’t it? It is right to be this enthusiastic and excited and I know this is always going to be the case. That gives me so much comfort but again it is all because I know that we can rely on one another, trust one another and support one another. We are made for one another. Your hands fit mine perfectly, we coil together at night, fitting perfectly around one another. You finished my sentences and I know what you are going to say right before you say it. It is as if we have been forged from the same thing all those years ago, then separated and finally we have been put back together again in order to be happy and why not, we deserve to be happy. You make me happy and I will do the same for you. I want to tell the world how wonderful you make me feel. I want to take out advertisements in newspapers, on YouTube and on television. I want to shout if from the highest mountain and from the rooftops that I love you.
Am I infatuated? Of course you are. Who wouldn’t be so infatuated when being with someone as gloriously brilliant as me. Now, say that all again to me.
50 thoughts on “Infatuation”
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I have never known anybody like you. You are amazing. You are so loving, so kind and so gentle. Everything you do makes me happy. I didn’t think that was possible, not after the last person I was involved with. I don’t want to go on about that person for too long, why spoil this wonderful moment eh? Suffice to say they were not what I thought they were, a con-artist and a charlatan who made me think that they were something else and they took advantage of my good nature. I know you will not do that. I know you are too good a person. It is written all over you. I cannot believe how lucky I am to have found you. I wasn’t really looking but I am sure glad that I have found you. You are amazing. Have I told you that already? I can see you nodding. Sorry, I am just so excited to have finally found you and I am just so excited about all the adventures and fun we are going to have together. You really are everything that I have ever wanted in a person. There are not enough wonderful adjectives available to describe, there really aren’t.
My friends think I am nuts, but in a good way, because all I do is go on about you. I tell them the places we go to, the marvellous days we spend together and just hat a special, precious and loving person that you are. It restores your faith in human nature after all of the terrible things that have happened, sorry I am mentioning them again, I must stop doing that. I am all over the place, in the good way, this is what you do to me. Anyway, I tell my friends all about you, all of the time and I know that they are delighted to see me so deliriously happy because they have not seen me like this for some time. I have such plans for you and I. Wonderful, momentous and special plans. I want to tell you all about them now because they are that good, but I am not going to. I don’t want to spoil the surprises. This feels like my birthday, Christmas, a promotion and a wedding day all rolled into one. I know you might think I am going over the top but this is how happy you make me feel. I feel like I am on fire, fizzing with anticipation and joy. It is truly sensational and it is all down to you. You have brought this out in me. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know what I would have done. You rescued me and made me smile. You are my world. I mean that. I want to be with you all of the time and forever because you are so giving, so warm, so loving, so considerate, so funny, so attractive and well, just the very, very best. I have told my family about you, naturally and they cannot wait to meet you. I think they are nearly as excited as me. I think of you as soon as I wake up and you are in my thoughts all through the day and as I lie down at night I think of you again and wonder what you are doing and wish I was with you right at that moment.
You move me to the extent that I want to do great things for you and I and everyone else. You inspire me, you drive me and you motivate me. I feel completed now I have you, like nothing can ever hurt me and I know I will never let anything hurt you. That can never happen. I need you and I hope that you need me, we are a partnership and cannot be torn asunder, no matter what the world throws at us.
You will probably have seen my Facebook page littered with all those comments about you. I just feel them welling up inside of me and I have to let them out, give birth to them if you will and let them be shared with the world. It is the right thing to do, to allow such joy and happiness to be shared all around. Why shouldn’t other people be happy as well because we are? I want you. I want you more than anything I have ever wanted before I will do anything with you. I want us to be together, I want us to be one. I want us to grow old together and still be in love in sixty years as we are now. I know what we have is so special that we can achieve that.
I know I am babbling on but it is all good isn’t it? It is right to be this enthusiastic and excited and I know this is always going to be the case. That gives me so much comfort but again it is all because I know that we can rely on one another, trust one another and support one another. We are made for one another. Your hands fit mine perfectly, we coil together at night, fitting perfectly around one another. You finished my sentences and I know what you are going to say right before you say it. It is as if we have been forged from the same thing all those years ago, then separated and finally we have been put back together again in order to be happy and why not, we deserve to be happy. You make me happy and I will do the same for you. I want to tell the world how wonderful you make me feel. I want to take out advertisements in newspapers, on YouTube and on television. I want to shout if from the highest mountain and from the rooftops that I love you.
Bravo!
Amazing text. My friend, i think she has some narcissistic traits. So i did an experiment (because i cannot rely now on my perceptions: all ppl around could look like narcs for me )))))))
So i told her these stuff during 2 weeks. I thought she will be tired to hear coz it s so pathetic. But she just wanted more and more. Nothing looked too sweet for her.
I am many things, my dear HG, and yes, Canadian is one of them.
I ❤️Canada. I lived in Quebec one year
Ineffable…. My fav…😉
The moment I stumbled upon this blog, I started picturing you as Patrick Bateman, but minus the flaws (insanity) that Bateman possessed. Looks, charm, lifestyle, etc.
I re-read this post and tried to imagine myself ever saying any of that to anyone and I simply cannot. I don`t understand how people (men or women) can base everything good in their lives upon someone. Or some thing.
Talking that way to someone only serves to expose the soft, vulnerable underbelly. It`s so dangerous to ever let anyone know that they are capable of turning you into such a needy, dependent pile of mush.
When you start living your life for someone else, start basing your happiness, accomplishments, hopes and dreams on one person, you`re just asking for trouble.
Of course, I know these types are perfect for you, HG. I just can`t wrap my head around it at all.
I can go with the PB likeness, B&T. Underbelly is such a good word.
Mmm yes it really is a lovely word. Other favourites of mine include ephemeral; effervescence; en francais – la douleur exquise (which is what I imagine many of your playthings experience constantly considering its meaning); amaranthine; nefarious; and metanoia, to name only a few.
And our little game just got MUCH more interesting since you will allow me the pleasure of imagining that I am speaking with the one and only PB.
Though, don`t think I don`t know even he likely pales in comparison to HG. 😉
Oh you know just what to write B&T. You are Canadian yes?
This post made me shudder. Your posts serve to remind me how toxic that relationship was.
How far on are you from it TBWL?
It’s about. 7 months now, but he regularly checks in to see if there’s I’ve developed amnesia and forgotten he’s a train wreck.
And he will continue to do so.
Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God. It even has a watermark.
Is that…bone?
That’s bone and the print is something called sillian rail.
How have I missed this movie?
I don’t know, but you can remedy that.
I tell you no lie when I say that there isn`t anything I wouldn`t do if Christian Bale (as Patrick Bateman) commanded me to do it.
Let me show you my business card then.
It may also interested you to know that I have a Patrick Bateman action figure that talks.
“Don’t just stare at it, eat it.”
Ha ha I hope you obey his command B&T.
Yes, I do the same thing, however, I’ve been known to trot out some of the more vicious lines such as “I’m into murders and executions mostly” or “Not if you want to keep your spleen.”
There is also a show I love called Arrested Development and the mother, Lucille, had a line I absolutely love to use when someone asks me a stupid question or a question I don’t want to answer…
“I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it.”
I especially love to use this line when the question is fairly simple and clearly understood. It annoys people which makes me happy. 🙂 😉
Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now, you f***in’ stupid bastard!
No day is complete without a brilliant segway into American Psycho.
I do so like playing with you, HG. You make my day.
The feeling is mutual. I used to ring up a colleague and yell your first sentence down the phone at him. I could see his office across the way and he would leap back in his chair every time.
I regularly trot out,
“I have to return some video tapes” – which always confuses the person since they are obsolete and most of all,
“I have assessed the situation and I am leaving.” Then I stride to the door with applause ringing in my ears and a sweeping orchestral score accompanying my grand exit.
But of course – check out the song Crystal. It`s one of my favourites by them by far.
You like Huey Lewis and the News? HA!
Ha ha very good.
Yes I do. Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in ’83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He’s been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humour. In ’87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is “Hip to be Square”, a song so catchy, most people probably don’t listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it’s not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it’s also a personal statement about the band itself.
Oh now I have a craving to listen to West End Girls…..
And Being Boring, which is one of my favourites.
Tell me HG, are you a fan of New Order by any chance?
West End Girls is an excellent song, Opportunities is a personal favourite. Being Boring, whilst not a commercial success (comparatively) is a beautiful song. I like New Order yes, True Faith is a favourite along with many tracks on Substance. One of my school friends was a huge New Order fan and I used to borrow his records (I think I still have a couple actually – after all I am entitled to them aren’t I?)
The posts Infatuation and Utopia are interdependent; I have also replicated my posts. These two pieces by HG are of my more liked pieces by this author as they speak to the truth of the collective malaise.
Utopia/Infatuation is a- loss of freedom- in that in order to buy into a world of sheer bliss one must then deny the very essence of their nature, the detrimental aspect of this denial is the denial of discovery, the denial of questioning self- hood, utopia is the giving away of your freedom to choose and construct your way of-being-in – the world, free from social and family structuring.
“Freedom is a created concept only while we are strapped in the tension within the resistance of our essential natures, the essence of which we attempt to dominate at our fear of understanding and lack of knowing. Essence is a force for its own containment and therefore is already free.”
-Copywrited material
Utopia/Infatuation is self deception and is at the core, an animation of our narcissistic, righteous and power seeking behaviours, of which have been projected onto us, shackling us to a mirage, an illusion to which we unconsciously drown in, a slow asphyxiation of both our capacity and desire to become intimate with our selves, and making the other and the world responsible for our sense of lack.
BECOMING
Of this spot she wrapped herself
Around the fallacy to pull of it seeds of truth
Spread open as the shuttle pokes into the tension
Causing the warp to weft itself in and out as the weave
Oh Yes, this spot is fleeting of its hope
Only to be pulled back inside
We come, still here, and again
The convex meniscus forms
Our cohesion in the milky honey fluid warms
Equal contrast refracting in this wet weave
When the real touches its radiant, so willed is its imaginary
This spot, Oh Yes, this spot
Where nothing disappears
Shedding, picking and battening
Weaving our way through the sight of our disappearance
Seduces us towards the light
-Copywrited material
The disempowering state of utopia/infatuation is anxiety, in that it creates a destabilized psychological space to where the emergence of two free beings is disallowed, punished, and ultimately through the attempt of annihilation, erodes both the dark and light of Eros. This is the simultaneous experience of being abused and to inflict abuse. We see this in our world no matter what direction we look, the frenetic craze of consuming the fairy tale, not only through the manipulation of objects, but also through what we are to adhere to in how we construct our relationships at all levels of intimacy.
OXIDATION WINE
Terrior, this space of bearing
First growth, drinking in of the Cru
Quenched womb feeding the vines that wind the growth
Hydrostatic equilibrium
As we meander through the wet soil of becoming
Held in suspensions
Hands form of this golden chalice
Sipping in the oxidation wine
The chalice comes into flames, as the palette creates from this its own taste
Universal
We drink from this to become
We become to drink from this
Sliding in and out of temptation to resist growth
We believe in this and the heart forms a reach to open another door
We then believe in something else
Listening
Picking berries with our eyes
Scents imprinted in these strands, creating the ever budding vineyard
Rest here under the shade of these sacred vines
Terrior, this place of bearing
Drinking in the Cru as the journeys become the seasons of our lives
-Copywrited material
Meeting another in healthy relation, is to co- create a landscape that honors the other as whole and is fed with empathy, a never ending fuel line that promotes the growth of ones own self with the only recourse being the reverence towards the observation and support of the others capacity to grow in a multitude of directions, or not.
We need to courageously supply empathy towards and subsequently traverse our own traumas in order to best facilitate our healing, as everything that we give out has affect on our personal and collective world.
“One must exercise a patient awareness with the sometimes intense onset of relation. The fool of self-deception will desire the constant hot flames, while the wise will call for the rains.”
-copywrited material
Oh if it seems too good to be true, it’s most assuredly a Potemkin village. As in when Catherine the Great toured the provinces, she wanted to see only fat, prosperous-looking people (because such people have her the idea that all was well in the empire & she was a successful czarina. So Potemkin, her advance man, would go clear the starving people out of each village & stock her route with fat, sleek people to make her feel good about herself).
And I am the Battleship, Cara, but there will be no mutiny here!!
Ships can sink even without mutiny.
Ha ha I didn’t advance that I am the Titanic Cara.The Battleship Potemkin was allowed to go where it wanted, when it sailed out of Odessa, just like me.
I’ll have to check that film out (I’m behind in my Russian cinema)
It is an excellent film Cara. The Odessa Steps scene has rightly been hailed as a seminal moment in cinematic history. I also attended a Pet Shop Boys’ concert in a dockyard where they provided the instrumental music to score the film.
The Pet Shop Boys…as in “Go West”?
That’s them. It was at the Swan Hunter shipyard in Wallsend on the River Tyne in northern England, supported by the orchestra Northern Sinfonia. There are some excellent press photographs of the event and you can see me in the audience.
Wow must have been amazing music!
Ive always said The Uk produce the best music.
True.
😁😁
ladies, I propose we band together and help each other with revenge on our narcs. If we can PM each other and share addresses, and get everyone to send nonemotional, one line letters to the Ns who are troubling us, Ns will be receiving notes from around the world, wondering what the heck is happening. Anybody in?
Observant,
So am I. And your suggestion seems like the shotgun approach to target gathering on your part. This isn’t exactly a safe venue for ANY Narc survivors to be sharing info with each other. Good try, however.
❤️💓❤️💓❤️💓
Ohhh wow this is beautiful !!!! And the picture so perfect. I drive my bike by a pair of swans every morning and every morning I think about eternal love. That they will be together no matter what troubles. Until death tears them apart. That is the love I dream that no matter how many problems and fightd and tears the love force will keep then together for ever . ❤️😘😘😘. This is what I think every morning and hour after having read your first post in the morning. In fact today after the Utopia posting I was thinking that maybe that is utopia. A continuous love ❤️ that remains alive after dealing with flaws and qualities, maybe that is the Utopia that movies and books should sell. That is for sure utopia with an N 🌔. To underdandand and love like the swans.
Its a lovely posting ❤️❤️❤️ And its love and infatuation toghether. 😘😍💓💓💓
♡♡☆☆♡♡
HA HA HA! Now say it all again to me, only slower, and with a bit more enunciation when words like “amazing” and “unbelievable” fall out of your mouth.
All I can do is shake my head and laugh. Because it’s only a matter of time until the tune changes.
Brings to mind the old adage, “If it seems too good to be true (in this case, you), it probably is.”
I completely agree with you
We have completely agreed with each other in the past here.
I am glad we see so eye-to-eye, Angered!