The 5 Wants of the Narcissist
- I want your fuel
I want your fuel. I want it all and I want it from you, him, her, them and especially you. I want it from the moment I rise until the moment I am embraced by slumber. I want it pouring over me, potent and plenty, gushing from you. I want your positive fuel, the joy, the adoration, the love, the passion and the praise. I want your negative fuel, the hatred, the anger, the tears and the fear. Pour it over me, immerse me in that edifying, invigorating and sustaining fuel. There is never enough and I want to keep on experiencing the surge as your fuel increases the flames inside me, burning and rising, powering me as I blaze a trail through the do. I want your fuel now, tomorrow and always.
- I want to engulf you
I am immense, a giant, a prince amongst men, a behemoth that moves with ease and purpose about the earth. I want to subsume you into me, ensuring that there is no trace of you left as I fully integrate you into what I am. I want my tendrils to reach out to you, feeling their way towards the fuel vapours that emanate from you, their probing senses tracking you down. I want them to coil about you and pull you towards me, binding you to me until steadily I suck you into my world and into my false reality. I want you hooked up, connected, locked-in, attached and embedded as little by little I consume you and encompass you with my greatness. You will not resist for the elation and delight that you experience as this process happens is irresistible. I want to own you, I want you to become part of me, I want there to be no start to you and any end to me.
- I want to be the one
I want to be the one that you think of all of the time. I want you to be the person that you orbit around, your sun, your centre of the universe. I want to be the one that is recognised for my greatness, for my brilliance and my achievements. I do not care that I have exaggerated them or stolen them from others whom I have brushed against, stripping away facets of their character to add to my own. I have no care for that. All I care is that I am the one towards whom heads turn when I enter a room. I am the one who is applauded. I want to be the one who leads, conquers and smites. The destroyer of worlds, the creator of new ones, a god. I want to be the one whose power radiates from him so that is tangible to all those who look upon me. I want to be the one who shocks and awes. I want to be the one who does. I want to be the one who rules, who presides and who dictates. I want to be the one you rely on, turn to and devote yourself too. I want to be the one who is credited for all successes, I want to be the one who is your alpha and your omega, your first thought and your last thought. I want to be the one whose name you utter with your dying breath.
- I want your essence
I am the stealer of souls, the charlatan that comes and with sugar-coated promises and offers you the world in exchange for your very essence. You never realise that this is the cost of this transaction but I want to suck the essence from within you, drain you of it and consume it for myself. I want to leave you a broken, dried out husk. I want your essence to fill the gaping hole that endures inside of me. I want that sweet, wonderful essence to flow through me, easing the pain, soothing the fevered freneticism and bring comfort and relief. Like a purifying river, I want your essence to course through me, sweeping away the disease that riddles me. I want your essence to wipe away the dirt, remove the smears and eradicate the stains. I know I flirt with all kinds of dirt, but your essence will save me from such temptation. That is why I want it.
- I want it to stop
Or do I?
21 thoughts on “The 5 Wants of the Narcissist”
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Isn’t that another way of describing love at its headiest before it settles down ?
Sounds like the hero of Patrick Süskind’s “The Perfume”. I feel engulfed reading that, almost eaten alive. Makes me feel uneasy… are you sure you are in control of all that (your symptoms)?
I wonder whether the amok-terrorists from Paris, Brussels, Nice, Munic, Würzburg, Ansbach and that small village nearby Rouen had narcissistic/psychopathic traits?
You asked H.G! 😎 I am an insider to. So please allow me to answer these 2 very important questions from the other side like you do for me. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks! ( or in this case, the fingers type!) Jesus said so. He does not lie! So to answer your question, YES! You do! You wouldn’t have made it #5!! Yes! You HAVE a soul H.G. His name as far as I know for this illustration is H.G! 😎 You ARE a spirit (like God) AND you HAVE a SOUL! Like God! (It is made up of your complex mind, your free will, AND your stored emotions) connected to your heart/spirit, and you live in a complex body! When Christ comes to take residence in an open heart he makes that spirit brand new! And HE never leaves you or forsakes you! Even when you stray off He comes and gets ya.. 🙂 We are born blind and into sin into a corrupted world. Reborn into his family by invitation only. . He comes to reside in your heart WITH YOU! No longer Satans kid! We are all born into “Adams Family”.. Until Christ adopts us! Then he goes to town to renew our mind, heal our emotions and this all happens as we are willing to die to “Self” to our lusts and impulses and the “old man” that drive us… Step by step.. Day by day.. That is exactly what is happening here! Renewal fuel!! He’s knocking on the door you got bolted down! Waiting on you to unlock the door! He is a gentlemen and will not kick THAT door down! You CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT! Why would you want to? It’s THE GREAT EXCHANGE of HIS beauty for our ashes! Like what happens between US!!! We give Narcs beauty, they give us ashes! We give love. You give fears/hate! We give light! You give darkness! Truth/lies… Life/death! Blessing/cursing! I LOVE Jesus! He said CHOOSE LIFE!! Just like you!! He has been with me in all those horrible places and memories comforting me teaching me his principles and has led me here to reveal the truth about where I go wrong and how to get dressed for battle! Just like you! He is not even mad at us! He understands all of this because the Truth came from Him! He woulda done all that he did for just you ya know.. If you were the only dungeon dweller on this planet! He would have made the sacrifice for you and then still honored your choice to refuse Him!! Talk about empathy and self sacrifice!! You ever get nailed to a cross and die a bloody sinless death for someone else? That’s what has made me so crazy! Thinking I had to be a bloody sacrifice for a Narc to save him!! No! Christ is sufficient. Duh!! This place is a hospital and you are the good Doctor! He is the Great Physician! However Your potential to help save us from ourselves extends only as far as we listen to what you are really saying here! You already see with the eyes of a spiritual being. You’re telling me about the dynamics that we all wrestle with! It’s NOT FLESH AND BLOOD! Many ways to go here! Lotsa doors to explore! There’s only ONE door into Heaven tho! Christ knows the way! He is the door! Our prison doors are all unlocked! Jesus has the keys to the kingdom! The devil is the enemy of our souls and you are smashing all of his devices in our lives just by revealing the TRUTH! Jesus Christ IS the TRUTH and IS the Word made flesh that dwelt among us! He took care of ALL of this! This is the devils world that he hi-jacked from the 2 people that God gave it to! In a very deceptive Narc form. They gave it to him like we give ourselves to the Narcs for the SAME REASONS and now we are under a curse. Christ has REDEEMED us from this curse! Bought us back! Your writings validate all he told me himself but in Narcland I lost my soul! Consequences galore! Wreaked havoc! Spirit intact! Your writings vividly remind me of the day Satan stood with Jesus up on a high mountain after 40 days of fasting and showed Him (Jesus Christ!) the WHOLE WORLD and ALL therein and stated it was HIS!! He offered it all to Christ if he would bow down and worship him! Jesus was TEMPTED!! Then told that Narc to hit the road! It is written you shall worship the Lord your God and Him only shall you serve! See? You are serving Him right here saving US from that scoundrel!! You are merely deceived in another way by the same Narc! He hijacked both of our souls just using the Narcs brokenness and consequential drives to trigger our body chemical make up after he wormed his way in! It’s chemical surges in our bodies in the scientific realm to put it as simple and down to earth as possible. An addiction. It’s the mind of the flesh. Fear is a real spirit. Faith in truth crushes fear and deception! . A complex system as you so perfectly illustrate from the inside! RIGHT CHOICES are the WAY out!! You are the most valuable lifeline that we have for doing THIS work and laying out Satans play book step by step like you are doing! GOD ALMIGHTY CRUSHED this NARC at the CROSS! YOU are still in there H.G!! I KNOW it because you represent the person I have been trying to SAVE from that wretched BEAST that you describe and your fears drive and your WILL FEEDS to quiet the voices and hold back the impending doom you are driven by and running from!! WE REPRESENT the part of you that YOU despise (feelings, empathy, beauty, vulnerabilities, weaknesses) Trying to KILL that part of US because you gave up hope and despise this part of you! For SHAME for what happened to you and what you do to us! Christ DIED to SAVE YOU from this abyss that mocks you! To resurrect those parts of you and make you at peace with Him and put these devils under your feet! Redeem you from the curse by taking it onto himself! (Like we do!) WOW!! Just saw it again!! Make him alive! Give him peace by a stream of living waters.! Like we try! A bath in it! Rest for your soul! A robe of right standing with Him! A crown of life for your head! To Restore your soul and lead you on a path of righteousness for HIS name sake! Walking through these valleys of the shadow of death we can fear no evil then because He is with us! His word and spirit comforts us. He’s preparing His table before us in the presence of our enemies!! Right now! He’s anointing my head with oil and my cup is running over! SURELY (IN HIM ) Goodness and Mercy will follow us all the days of our lives and we will dwell in His house forever!! So when a devil starts lying to you and telling you that you are without hope in the world remember that you have already proved him wrong at THIS LEVEL because you are passing it out here like candy!! 😀 AND God is No respecter of persons! No favorites! We are all here because we need to know what the heck is going on in this crazy world!! Learning something new every day. I saw you asked these questions! You know I can’t help myself! Don’t want to! That is the way I believe it is. To God Almighty be the Glory! Help us all to stop crawling around on our knees to the Biggest Narc of all!! And my sweet H.G. I’m happy to break the news that it’s REALLY NOT YOU!! But as I said before, you are my favorite Narcissist and the one I happily choose to be my friend. I believe you know what I’m telling you to be the Truth. You told me first! Faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not yet seen.. I will never give up hope in our redemption! Just try and remember who is on The Throne! Check who’s in the cockpit with you. Give the steering wheel to the most qualified pilot and we will get to the other side and there is going to be s party unlike any in history! No Devils allowed! However the people who have entertained them are invited by Jesus Himself! That is the beauty of our Savior! Apart from Him we are all the same.. Religion doesn’t teach this.. No man made rules or clouded nonsense. No delusions. Just the truth. You are DEARLY LOVED beyond your dungeon and right outside the door He is waiting for YOU! 😘 Just a prayer away
Oh boy ok confusing do you or don’t you? Spill it out I’m tired sick and tired beyond supernatural realm tired if being called obsessed repeatedly I have wounds bigger than this because if that so stop morons tell me Tudor do you people or don’t you want it to stop make a t clear for me once and for all
No one can have my soul because someone already stole it. Now that that is all cleared up.
This is beyong useful for narcissistic torture
*taking notes*
It sounds like a part of you wants it to stop. Hopefully that part of you will allow it to stop. Time will tell.
Huh, I was a broken, dried out husk about a year ago. But, each day I slowly came out of it. My soul and very essence regenerated. Love does save and can conquer the wrath you “wanters” leave in your path. It came in the form of my beautiful, then 9-year old daughter. She who inherited 1/2 of my original essence and since birth has received unconditional love, support for her achievements, guidance for her failures, and security knowing this will never cease for her, now in its sweetest, purest and most innocent form had that to return to me.
You wanters covet and lust that which you see everyday, yet cannot grasp or understand.
It is not something to just dole out in the beginning to trap someone in your web.
The end result of love in its purest form with give and take on both sides is truly a beautiful and sacred thing!
The veneer applied to the rawness.
Oh I’ll give you veneer, naysayer! Lol
Ha ha.
Looks like “spring acute attack”… i observe the tendency regarding last posts 😉
Gigantomania comes from all fissures..
P s. Poor u, dear defective person, to live with this pressure to be gigantic
What a GREAT image for this post!!! You have an amazing gallery of fitting images in your virtual toolkit. Love this one!!!!
It will stop…when you want it to stop. When the pain of staying the same outweighs the terror of uncertainty.
When your way of being becomes stale and unfulfilling…to you. When your beautiful soul is given permission to take the reins.
Do you want it to stop? I feel your mind exploring this deeply within your psyche. But your soul has already spoken.
I have a soul? Can you tell me where it is please Bethany, I seem unable to find it.
When the pain of staying the same outweighs the terror of uncertainty – a great sentence, but I am managing to dispel the pain.
This is the truth of the Malignant Narcissist. Let him stay there, it is too much for him otherwise. He does not want to change. Let this be a catalyst for co-dependents to look at themselves and grow, a consideration for lesser narcissists to ponder and grow, and for the Empath, she will always answer the call, and then discern with all of her alchemized and embodied critical thinking and highest emotional intelligence as to whether the call was just an empty scream of terror and vacant of the desire to do the work involved in change, if she discerns the latter, then she leaves full well knowing she has given something in the mere fact that she answered the call. In her personal sphere,she does not align herself with those who do not wish to grow and this is the very reason why she is able to teach and touch others collectively.
Self deception is not a stranger to me either HG. Your soul is eternally patient.
You want it to stop……hmmm let me think about that for a minute………
“I want” is the word we all hear and say. I lust the endless flowing fuel of fantasies and projection night and day clinging, clinging and clinging while the borderline and codependent slurp the fear of abandonment. That’s on them not me. It’s imperative to adhere to my boundaries. I say when I give you approval or rejection. Love what is… there’s no labeling, no wanting to figure things out as to why you are trying to change the situation nor anyone. It is what it is.. call me what you want. I don’t label. Theyre all made up names, come into my fun house. When you let go and your mind gets healthy, please don’t leave me? To answer your question, please don’t stop! I too lust your potent and delicious fuel.
You don’t want it to stop. Maybe you want to move onto the next victim & begin again, but you don’t want to stop (as in change your ways). You are what you are.
Hmmmm sounds pretty absorbing…
OMG …. Reminds me of my gf ex-friend with BPD and N…