Even Better than the Real Thing
Many of our kind, admittedly not all, strive to be the best. We want to be the best for all to see and this is very important to us. We need to be even better than the real thing in order to achieve our multiplicity of aims. For us, being the number one is what it is all about. We need to win. Achieving success is integral to our needs and our outlook. There are numerous ways we do this to achieve this success and these methods are not just confined to our kind.
Sometimes it is about being first. Not coming first but being the first to act, for example, being the first to seduce you in the way we have, the first to amaze you and draw you close. The first person to ever treat you that way. The first to say certain things, take you to certain places, the first to make you feel the way that you do and this will secure the win at times.
Other occasions it is about being the smartest and certainly those from the cerebral chapter of our organisation bristle with intellectual magnificence. Our razor sharp minds help us scheme, plot and plan so that what we want is achieved through this careful application of our brain power.
More often than not however, we achieve this success by cheating. We cheat by identifying those who we want to be like, those people we regard as natural companions for thrusting, dynamic people like ourselves. Those leaders, pioneers and achievers are our natural bed mates and we make it our aim to ingratiate ourselves with them. Using our charm and magnetism we inveigle our way into their circles and once there we steal certain characteristics we regard as desirable and use them as part of our construct which we show to the world at large. Accordingly, the achievements of sports people, artists, writers, industrialists, financiers, professionals and so on become our achievements. The traits that they exhibit of excellence, success and brilliance are copied and added to our construct so we portray them to others.
It isn’t just pop stars, captains of industries and polymaths we do this with, it includes you as well. Now, you may well happen to be the manager of a successful hedge fund, a championship winning equestrian or a well-known broadcaster, if that is the case so much the better, but even if you might not belong to the ranks of the great and good you still serve a purpose for us. Leaving aside the requirement for fuel, which is naturally the number one reason for engaging with you in particular as our primary source, you also serve a valuable purpose in providing us with traits too. It might not be for the repeated trophies you won playing hockey or football but your emotional achievements are very much prized by our kind. As I mentioned above, in order to secure the win, we will aim to be first, be smartest or ultimately cheat. We always have a primary source of fuel attached to us (save in the most desperate of circumstances) and this means that there is always somebody from whom we can purloin your emotional traits. We are unable to feel many of these emotions but we want to be able to replicate them.
There is nobody better than someone from the empath family to assist us with this valuable task. Attuned to the world and the feelings of those around you, you are able to experience a wide range of emotions and to a heightened extent as well. This is fascinating for our kind and we will observe you exhibit these emotions so we can study, replicate and use them for our own purposes. You are in effect training us by showing us how these emotional expressions sound and appear. The movement of the eyes, the setting of the jaw, the curling of the lips, the flaring of nostrils, the raising of eyebrows, the lowering of tone, the expansive arm gestures, a thousand upon a thousand different combinations to relay a vast array of emotions and we are keen students. You demonstrate them to us. It is especially those which emanate from the positive range of the spectrum that we seize on, expressions of happiness, joy, ecstasy, love, compassion, caring and kindness. Show us guilt, remorse and regret. Demonstrate to us delight, wonder and warmth and we will lap up how to compose those features. We do not always get it right straight away but we are fast learners as we steal these emotional traits and add them to our range of masks. We never quite get it as seamless as you, there is often a delay, it is only very short and one has to watch for it, but it is there alright. A delay as we work out which expression to adopt, which emotion to fake and then we work it out, set our expression accordingly and proceed. These emotional traits come from you, our empathic primary source. Whilst the trappings of apparent success and achievement might be stolen from those people who we have secured a social alignment with, the emotional theft will come from you because you are a fountain of emotion and this is of course why you have been chosen. This cheating at the portrayal of emotions then allows us to appear more like you and other people. It grants us access to further targets. It enables us to move amongst you with greater ease, scoping out potential victims and drawing fuel as we show we are just like everyone else. Only more special. It is a clear cheat but a necessary one to enable us to win.
This cheating to secure the win does not end with this emotional robbery. It continues through everything we do. We are not especially patient. There is a pressing need for fuel. There is a desire to entrap you, him and her, lining up all the various source of fuel and we want them in place and functioning quick sharp. You take your time to develop relationships. A repeated exposure through positions of mutual interest and the natural effluxion of time enable you to develop friendships, familial ties, working bonds and romantic attachments. The rate at which these progress varies from person to person as well as with reference to the type of relationship, but it is safe to say that they always lag behind the pace at which we operate.
We fall in love within two dates. We are best friends with someone we only met last week. Our team at work is the best ever even though they were only put together a month ago. It does not matter to us because our perception of time is different to yours. We move at a far quicker pace and therefore everything needs to happen within a short timescale in order to allow us to succeed. To accelerate the cementation of these various relationships means we have to cheat. We cheat by pretending we love you beyond anything else the world has ever known. We cheat by finding out lots about you and pretending that it is a spiritual connection between you and I. We cheat by bribing you with flattery, compliments, gifts and fabricated passion. We push the relationship – whether intimate, friend or working – along at a frantic pace, but it just seems exciting and breath taking to you so there is no sense of alarm. We cheat because we cannot (and indeed do not know how to) allow a relationship to evolve at a natural pace in an organic way. It must be forced, hurried along, manipulated. Our relationships come fully formed from the spawning vat, they are not born and then grow and develop. This enables us to create our coterie of supporters, our loyal lieutenants and our façade in double quick time, so that the flow of fuel is in place and extensive and thus we win. We appear popular, successful and magnetic as we cheat our way to gather traits from everyone else and create near enough ready-made relationships (at least in our minds) to secure that all important win.
Yes, we are occasionally first in what we do. There are many of us who are certainly smart and apply our considerable minds to achieving great things but it is without doubt an ever present amongst our kind that in order to secure the win and ensure we are even better than the real thing to you and everybody else, we cheat.
40 thoughts on “Even Better than the Real Thing”
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It must be forced, hurried along and manipulated. We might just wake up from this “dream” after all.
I see several of you already doing so.
There is know one that I respect more then the victims who courageously write on this blog.! To be able to talk about the devastation and heart break that being with a narc can cause you is a very hard thing to do. If it wouldn’t be for people like Clarece, Bethany, and of course to me one of the most important The flower and Rock, I would of not felt comfortable enough to comment. I believe victims have enough to work through without having to read posts from someone like blood and thunder! If you are only on here to belittle us or perhaps to attract more attention from HG, then you shouldn’t really be on this blog.! You can e mail him to get the attention that you need! And to the most important person on this blog., I would like to say Thank you! If it were not for you I am sure I would not be hear to write this today. So Thank you HG! You have my utmost respect for all that you do! Xxx❤️
Much love to you in your healing! I always read your comments and appreciate what you share too! You are just as courageous!
Hello Fool me 1 Time
I celebrate your graceful message and presence. Thank you for your very kind words, I am truly honored to be welcomed into the intimacy of your experience and as such would like to say thank you to you. I support you.
Sited below is bloodandthunders post, of which is an excellent showcasing of the interplay of absorption.
Clarece – I commend you on your ” throwing out of the anchor” to which your empowered response brought balance back to the energy on the blog, this supports others to feel safe in both entering and staying in the environment here, which is a source of value.
“Clarece – sometimes I don’t have the option to reply to whom I would like to reply. In this case, I meant to post my response as a new comment, but posted under your conversation with HG instead.
I am sure Bethany will see it just the same. Although, since she seems pretty adept at missing things, maybe she won’t.
Either way, I’m good.:)”
Hello F&R! I am guessing you are referring to my initial post addressing B&T’s comments on Empaths (volunteers) crying victim, which frankly, I found pretty offensive. As you pointed out, yes of course it is H.G’s blog, however without loyal readers, it would fizzle out. And yes, for some, one off-putting remark could drive someone away from reading for good. Thank you for recognizing and understanding my viewpoint and where I was coming from on behalf of myself and several others here I identify with and thought they would feel the same way. You went out on a limb too with some sound advise and perspective. Way to go! Thanks for having all of our backs! I by no means bring as good of an energy as you do to this site. You are very much needed!
Hi Clarece! Yes the post I made with siting bloodandthunders post was as stated, to draw awareness to her interplay of psychological absorption – it shows to me in her syntax – her word choice, of belonging to someone other than her. My most recent response to her is more direct in its nature, one of which I encourage her to take some time in considering. I have been concerned about her state of being, as she is being exploited and is also participating in that exploitation in a mostly unconscious manner, in that I believe she believes she is in control of that exploitation. Her manner is highly destructive and I am hoping that with all of our comments she will be able to see that we are extending support and respect towards her. Your viewpoint was clearly seen by me and I felt no quams in providing recognition for it. I am always on a limb, I know my branches very well. I am not here to protect any one, as that is also counter-productive and unethical. I honor the need and will continue to do so until HG disallows it. Lets just keep moving forward – there is much work to do and again, I commend everyone here for the work they have done and are continuing to do – I observe much growth here – its like a flippin garden!!
That is a very high horse you’re sitting on there, FR. A very high Trojan horse.
You’re a pathetic desperate loser. How about that for some honesty. Keep propping up sociopaths and colluding in your own subjugation you brainwashed imbecile.
This post is accurate. Win for more fuel and supply. The more supply the better the Narcissist is calm and whispy. You are helping a lot of people with healing and awareness (who knows-maybe on both sides of the reality) as information on narcissism and codependency unravel. Continue this work as it is beneficial to most and needless to say for you as well. Based on emotions, feelings, calculated tactics, cheating and perceptions to win-power while the partner/acquaintances aim to seek “True” love.
Thank you Leilani, I appreciate your comment.
You are welcome. I think I’ll open up a bottle of Chianti in this hour and play my cards right as usual.
Clarece – sometimes I don’t have the option to reply to whom I would like to reply. In this case, I meant to post my response as a new comment, but posted under your conversation with HG instead.
I am sure Bethany will see it just the same. Although, since she seems pretty adept at missing things, maybe she won’t.
Either way, I’m good. 🙂
Oh, my conversation with HG was a thread based on my response to your posting. I have not noticed Bethany to miss anything. But yes, I’m sure she’s getting notified of all the comments.
Many of us on this blog, including myself, trip over our tongues in our honest and outspoken admiration of HG’s talent and brilliance and appreciation for his assistance in lending to ️Healing and understanding. His charm is irresistible on this blog in that he treats everyone with respect interlaced with varied fondness and, above all, makes it known that Empaths and our kind are commendable for being kind hearted, decent human beings.
My problem with you doesn’t lie in your love of HG…he’s quite lovable in spite of himself…my problem is that your comments and repetitive disdain for victims …are caustic and destructive in our little ecosystem here. You paint yourself as a wannabe Narcissist and that brings to mind women in modern history who sidle up next to Psychopaths as accomplices and lure in his victims, sacrificing herself on his throne to get his approval while exhibiting zero empathy or shame for the harm caused .
Those who laud bad behavior and rattle their sabers (think Donald Trump supporters) and exclaim they like him because he’s not afraid to say what others are thinking perpetuate continuous suffering in our world. There is a subculture that relish in pathological behavoir…
I am not sure which is more destructive…the real deal or the wannabes…those that are so afraid …they choose to applaud the Emperor’s New Clothes.
Proud moment hanging with you in our little ecosystem here! I wholeheartedly agree!
I do appreciate you Clarece and your honesty, courage and willingness to share yourself here. It is an energetic and warm bond for which I am deeply grateful.
Really, u r not lazy? Dear defective person? Have u ever felt what does it mean to be lazy and relaxed?
I see u do a HUGE amount of work evvery single second…
I would never could do that coz i am tooooo lazy for this effort… too much work to observe snd replicate… to plat and calculate…
Seriously! Have u ever tried just relax and be lazy
No need to be number 1, it s TOO much work. The outcome is less than effort invested..
What can I say Yo, it must be that protestant work ethic yes?!
Interestingly I read somewhere that Ns, when describing / talking about an ’emotional’ experience use a lot of hand gestures in the same way a regular person would when talking in a second language. Essentially because emotions don’t come naturally so they have to recall these from a different part of the brain compared to people who do feel emotions. And therefore need hand gestures to help them think I’m the same way someone who is speaking a languages which is not their mother tongue.
Would you say that’s a true assertion HG ? I’ll be sure to look out for this one !!
There is force in that assertion.
U made me laugh :))))
Go to latin countries and find who does not use gestures evvery second to say even “pls i need a bread”))))
I guess that would then make it even more confusing to distinguish then Yo.
Better than the real thing. Like sweetener is to sugar ? Fake and hyped up more than it deserves, leaving anyone who tastes it enjoying it momentarily but with a powerful and bitter aftertaste ?
Well yeah, I cheat and I lie…I never say “I’ll only end up hurting you” because the narcissist in my life never bothered to warn me.
The title of this post is the same as one of my favourite U2 songs.
“You’re honey child to a swarm of bees
Gonna blow right through you, like a breeze”
And this goes back to the whole victim or volunteer issue and cements my belief that in many cases, it is volunteer who then has the nerve to turn around and cry victim.
Of course, your tactics are brilliant, there’s no question and when you entrap someone in a dizzying frenzy of too-good-to-be-trueness, they are certainly going to become more ripe for the picking.
But, as you have so eloquently stated before, the warning signs are there. Phrases such as “I’ll only end up hurting you” are uttered and mostly ignored because the empathy foolishly believes he or she can save you. Red flags like a claim to be absolutely in love after only two days of meeting are raised but again, ignored because the so-called victim is too high all the sugar and spice.
So yes, you cheat and you lie, but there is a tremendous amount of honesty in the cheating and lying that mostly just gets ignored.
One can see that you very much admire the Emperor’s new clothes.
It is a great tale.
Absolutely! It is an excellent tale and it’s also one of my favourite songs by Sinead O’Connor.
Granted, if I was standing naked in front of you, I highly doubt the shouts from the crowd would be disdainful, but I digress….
You have missed my point entirely. Great song though. Although “Nothing Compares To You” is my personal Sinead fav.
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I should also like to add that I make no effort of hiding my admiration for the Emperor, in this case, HG. Absolutely none. I have lauded his brilliance, intelligence and awesomeness numerous times very openly.
I have no issue saying I relate to much of what he says or that I agree with it. I simply don`t understand your kind all that well, Bethany, and while you may view that as a shortcoming, I most certainly do not.
The things is, the way HG operates is actually very honest. In many cases, I think he says and does the things most people wish they could say and do but don`t because they don`t want to be harshly judged.
I commend HG for his openness and his honesty. He`s got courage and strength in spades to be doing what he is doing here for all of you. Don`t forget, Bethany, the Emperor is helping all of you heal your wounded hearts and egos, is he not?
I don`t care what any of you think about me or my opinions or observations about HG. I take pride in knowing I am not afraid to speak my mind or be open and honest. I don`t say one thing here on the blog and then go and say something else to HG or anyone else for that matter.
This blog isn`t about me, it`s about HG. I participate and comment because I find HG to be fascinating and brilliant.
And I`m not afraid to bloody well admit it.
bloodandthunder, this is a- shared- space both of which HG has created and welcomed others into in a respectful manner.
It is a fair observation that the majority of individuals that courageously participate here are of like- mindedness, in that there is an unspoken understanding of the need and desire to maneuver with one another in ways that are respectful and supportive.
I am certain that most everyone here can empathize with your experience of rage, however your delivery, is likened to that of a destructive young girl and although you may not see it, it is indeed counter-productive and exploitive.
I do believe that you have insight to offer, and I encourage you to keep working towards that maturation, so that it may release you from the desolation of self serving.
I have the absolute nerve to say loudly I volunteered and am now a recovering victim and although I’m pretty open on here with many details to help myself and if HG is able to provide insight and points of reference that help others I am all for something good and positive coming out of this. I don’t think I need to expose all the demeaning vile things he did to prove it was unwarranted abuse.
NO ONE deserves the emotional and mental abuse that is done by a Narc. Because when I fall fearlessly in love have the ability to open up mind, heart and body to give and receive love then I’m asking for it if I misinterpreted the red flags initially? Nope! I volunteered because I had someone mimicking my moral code and intentions. Then I was a victim. End of story.
I can sense the passion in this post all the way over here Clarece. I may open a bottle of Chianti. Well articulated.
Oh hush! That’s why you like me! Enjoy your happy hour!
Ha ha you make me laugh.
And you, Bethany, completely missed my point.
I got your point, I just chose not to acknowledge it.
My all time favourite Sinead O`Connor songs are”I Want Your Hands (On Me)” and “Thief of Your Heart”
I believe you replied under the wrong name.