You Wait Until Later Tonight
You wait until later tonight. Oh such promise. I expect those words are already generating an excited anticipation as to what lies in store for you. When I whisper those words down the telephone line to you or in your ear as I lean down over you, you can feel that delicious tingle drift across you, like the lightest of sensual touches. How you marvel at my surprises. Each day feels like your birthday as some new delight is sent your way. What might it be tonight? Will it be an evening out somewhere? Perhaps the prominence of a favourable table in a well-regarded restaurant? It might be drinks with my friends who have taken such a shine to you and made you feel completely at home. Then again it might be the presentation of some gift, carefully selected by reference to the desires you have and which we have learned about you from carefully scrutiny of your behaviour, from a dedicated attention to what you tell us and our own expertly honed intuition borne from repeated practice. There is a myriad of opportunities and this is what makes us so special to you. We offer so many different avenues towards pleasure, love and delight. We know what makes you tick and we utilise that to ensure you are made joyously happy. But it is the promise of what is to come that works so well. It plays to your sense of intrigue, it heightens your expectation and thrills you. Rather than giving you it now, we create a delicious sense of expectation causing you to look forward to whatever it might be with considerable hunger. How exciting this all is, how different this is to anything you have experienced before. It is fantastic to be treated so magnificently.You wonder what the surprise is? What will come later? Perhaps with the reference being made to you waiting until later tonight it will be a passionate and sensual encounter between the sheets? The mere thought of that causes a surge of delight to rise from deep inside of you as your mind conjures up the evocative images of our last night together. You can honestly say you have never experienced anything like it before. We set you ablaze with passion, the energy that flowed between us was tangible and the urgent union of our bodies culminated in the most scintillating of conclusions. It was truly magnificent. The throaty way we suggested to you that you wait until later tonight must surely mean that this is what is in store for you? Another earth-shattering coupling. Both your body and mind are already responding to this prospect, the warmth of anticipation flooding across your body. You replay those words that I murmured to you and think of that promise…..
You wait until later tonight. Oh such a threat. I expect those words are already generating a fearful anticipation as to what lies in store for you. When I growl those words down the telephone line to you or hiss them in your ear as I loom over you, you can feel that sinking dread crawl across you, like the dead cold grip of a wraith has touched you. How you baulk at my threats. Each day feels like your funeral as some spiteful threat is sent your way. What might it be tonight? Will it be an evening of silence with glowering looks from across the room? Perhaps the unsophisticated onslaught of words and fists, raining down on you, blunt instruments of awful intimidation? It might be the humiliation of drinks with my friends who have taken such a dislike to you and make you feel completely isolated whenever I force you to endure them. Then again it might be the presentation of some fabricated home truths, carefully selected by reference to the weaknesses that you have and which we have learned about you from carefully scrutiny of your behaviour, from a dedicated attention to what you tell us and our own expertly honed intuition borne from repeated practice of hurling insults at the person we supposedly love. There is a myriad of opportunities and this is what makes us so awful to you. We offer so many different avenues towards hatred, humiliation and fear. We know what makes you sick and we utilise that to ensure you are made deliriously fearful. But it is the threat of what is to come that works so well. It plays to your sense of terror, it heightens your dread and paralyses you. Rather than giving you the abusive delivery now, we create a mortifying sense of fearful expectation causing you to have anxiety as to whatever it might be that is to be exacted against you. How terrifying this all is, how different this is to anything you have experienced before. It is frightening to be treated so horribly. You wonder what is lurking in store for you? What will come later? Perhaps with the reference being made to you waiting until later tonight it will be an unwanted and degrading encounter between the sheets? The mere thought of that causes a surge of nausea to rise from deep inside of you as your mind conjures up the excruciating images of the last time that happened. You can honestly say you have never experienced anything like it before. We set you on edge, the venom that flowed from us was so poisonous and the urgent delivery of our abuse culminated in the most degrading of outcomes. It was truly horrific. The malevolent way we suggested to you that you wait until later tonight must surely mean that this is what is in store for you? Another disgusting, degrading act meted out against you. Both your body and mind are already responding to this prospect, dizzying fear and pounding heart gripping you. You replay those words that I murmured to you and think of that threat….
What a difference a day makes.
The outcome may seem different to you but to us it is always the same. Whether it is seductive charmer or malevolent abuser it is about control.
The threat of what might happen is often more enjoyable/more terrible than the actual event itself.
This is what creates such considerable control.
And who do we regard as responsible for causing this?
Not us.
You are the one who thinks about what is going to happen.
You are the one who creates the scenarios in your mind.
You are the one who creates the anticipation, be it of excitement or fear.
Yet again, we are able to blame you.
49 thoughts on “You Wait Until Later Tonight”
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Mr. Tudor in the sapphire moon,
why is your gaze turning away so soon?
Will you be forever so far away?
Or, are you still there,
but merely gazing down at new prey?
It figures.
I love surprises and every each one bad or good make You feel alive… this whisper or hiss…would make me still smile though! Do You hate me now G?
Not at all Maddie.
I suspected many things were amiss about him in last year, especially with so many absences. I originally thought disassociation, which I am still not ruling out completely. I have a friend who was in narcissistic relationship at time and we talked and compared their behaviours, they matched too much, I then did online research and came across HGs blog through my fb wall by coincidence. I looked at fb page and then bought several of his books and then came on this blog, I was under Janaa at time. Then after 2. 5 month silent treatment he hoovered me and I responded to get closure and he manipulated me back Into the fold, so to speak. I felt it was disingenuous to be in blog after seeking advisement and returning to him, not in a physical sense or dating sense, I might add. But none the less, communication was engaged again. He had been acting strange again, I found out he had sought someone, an old appliance Persay, instead of confronting him. I expressed my hurt in his behaviour towards me and asked me to be honest, he denied being a narcisisist, cheating, lying..the works..it upset me and I said we are through I then blocked him where I could. He is highly wounded and won’t engage me for quite some time.I am sure. Or may not again, as I left him, every other time I am waiting after his absences.. his pride will possibly not allow him to return to me.
I sounds like your ex N was wounded critically the and way by you leaving him. The offer of friendship was not what he wanted as the offer came firm you and not him. Hence loss of control and huge ego hit. Do you think he was genuinely sick or was it a victim N play for sympathy?
When you say watering hole, do you mean club or bar? Did he use this Location to procure his targets?
I am read a lot elsewhere regarding addiction and trauma bonding to narcs from Long term relationships, we were together four years. He went between love bombing and devaluation constantly. That they count on such things, similar to Stockholm syndrome bewteen victim and abuser. I am not angry at him, just sad, that he knew I knew what he was, I was willing to accept him as he is and move forward in a different type of direction. He couldn’t stand I was his mirror, he hated what he saw in himself and he needed that mask for protection. Those who don’t know him online, can only see the mask he shows them. Where he is loved for who he isn’t, not for who he is.
When all I ever wanted was to be loved for who I am. Funny , isn’t it? I could accept him, he couldn’t accept that I accepted him.
I really thought if he knew I knew and I accepted him the way he is, he would be honest with me. But so many years lying to others and oneself that was nevr going to happen. So I left before he had chance to devalue me yet again.
Thank you Alexis xx hugs back to you,
You timed this post perfectly HG. As part of the grand Hoover I’m currently experiencing my MN was repeatedly asking me whether or not I was going to be at his watering hole on Thursday (yesterday), I replied that I always am (I’m no longer NC since I get an equal amount of fuel and he has no emotional effect on me) but I certainly limit the amount of fuel he is able to extract and it is only ever positive he gets no negative fuel from me whatsoever. Pre enlightenment, I would have thought he was really keen to see me. But this made me suspicious and it could only mean he was planning something nasty or more simply leading me to beleive that he would be there (which he usually is) which would then prompt me to message him after to find out where he was, as I would have previously been disappointed. And whilst I’m not NC with him. I never instigate messages and only reply to his either in a circular fashion or with a dead answer whereby he does not need to respond. So he can get no fuel by ‘leaving me hanging’.
Anyway, thankfully it was nothing nasty (yet) just a ‘no show’ and no way would I message him to find out where he was.
One of his other appliances was clearly expecting him to be there as she kept searching for him. I felt sorry for her.
Thank you for the update Alexis, isn’t it fascinating to now be armed with this knowledge and watch all the various game playing go on? You are able to stand apart from it and recognise it and watch it unfold from a position of detachment thus protecting yourself.
It really is rather fascinating !! Oh and I can really play him too!! He is obviously malign and I am not but I have a higher level of intelligence. And you’ve given me all the tools I need to protect myself. And I cant thank you enough for that. Of course I am still very mindful of the fact that he has done some despicable things to people which I have seen unfold and it is only I who knows he is responsible because I can put two and two together. He manages to do these in such a clever way that there is no hint or trace that it has come from him. And everyone thinks he’s a ‘great guy’. So I must never ever underestimate him and although I understand the rules now, I can never be too careful in knowing he is planning something. But I can anticipate it as best as I can, and I know he has limitations due to maintaining appearances.
Oh and another just popped into my head.
With my MN as I’ve often talked about. I left him went NC and never succumbed to any of his hoovers. I never said anything bad about him I anyone else and always join in praising him when others do. He tried hard to provoke me to hate him, I never did and just told him of course I don’t hate you, we just can’t be together, we have our own lives but I could never hate you and you’ve done nothing to make me hate you. Blah blah, you get the picture. I can’t imagine anyone has ever done this before and I know he doesn’t know how to handle me. He’s trying hard again to impress me.
I see him regularly, most weeks and I’m always pleasant.
I wonder how this makes him feel inside ? It’s been well over two years now that I’ve been managing it like this.
Does he just see me as a bigger challenge, but still prey. Or does he despise me more than anyone else, because I’m there as a constant reminder that his powers did not continue to have a hold over me ?
Has anyone ever achieved this with you HG ?
It will infuriate him because you are not giving him the fuel that he wants and he wants to punish you for your transgressions. Since you see him regularly he does not have to expend much effort to contact you and therefore you will remain prey to him, challenging prey and he will want to break you and force that fuel from you. You remind him on a repeated basis of the fuel that is just beyond his reach but it is so tantalisingly close that he will not want to give up on it. You will need to maintain the defences which you have done so for the last two years because as a Greater, he will be waiting for that moment to catch you off-guard and strike.
No, nobody has achieved this with me. Oh and don’t even think about trying to!
I would never try that with you HG, you have my word 😉
So he thought he’d come up with a strong winning strategy very recently. But I just used it to draw more fuel from him and gave very minimal in return. He tried hard, oh he tried really hard. But then had to go back to his low hanging fruit and pick up a bit of old rotten stuff that had fallen from the tree. He knows and I know that mine is ripe and juicy hahhahahahahah
You really are a scoundrel Alexis, I am tabling a motion about you at the next Narc Club meeting!
Well I’m not too worried if you’re all getting involved HG as you always conspire against each other anyway x
Well done, Alexis, the tides have turned. He won’t know what to do next, brilliant. Such would nevr work for me, I far often allow my emotions to rule me and fuel would be free flowing towards him.
Thanks miss_stress. I seriously wish I could help you. How long has it been for you ? It’s been over two years for me now. Don’t worry, I will be an N assassin for all of us. Huge hugs xxxx
Mine was always ongoing with silent treatments beginning with days the weeks then months, the longest one was 3. 5 months, then last one was 2. 5 months when he Hoovered and I wanted answers and closure. We maintained contact for 3.5 months and based in my data of silent treatment patterns, I was due for another, so I left after informing him of what I know and feel. He thusly felt wounded and criticised, he fled and sought fuel in a previous appliance that has been boasting all over social media of her love for him. Yes, an N assassin, I rather like that ninja Alexis.
You’ve done well missy !! How long have you been NC ? How did you cope with such long silent treatments ?
Missy, that made me smile, Alexis. It has hasn’t even been two weeks again. It is a do over once again. I didn’t cope well iin the beginning. Lots of crying, messaging, begging to know what was wrong and why was he ignoring me. He always had the same excuse upon return, mental health related. I would outright ask if it was because I said this or did that and why did he feel Ned to continuously punish me this way. I was met with, you are paranoid. Selfish and too much of a worrier..I always come back, don’t I? I didn’t know what he was then. I know now. It was the most prominent weapon he used on me to try to modify my behaviour, yet it never worked to his advantage. What was the longest period for a silent treatment you received, Alexis?
Haha glad you like missy, missy ! Goodness, less than two weeks – wow ! I can’t imagine being where you are right now. It will totally get better I promise you ! I feel hugely for you and wish I could give you a huge hug !! But here is a massive cyber one xx. what made you realise he was an N ? So for me, although there were STs I was oblivious to them really. He had a long term terminal illness. He needed treatment this was very soon after we first kissed and following six months of intense love bombing. I broke it off, told him he needed to get better and focus on himself and his family. We were both married. He didn’t take that too well and tried to end it with me several times (even though I’d already ended it for his sake lol). He then started to devalue me. It was horrible. I wanted us to still be friends. I told him I would not ever contact him as he needed to get better but if he wanted to contact me, he could and that I would always be there for him. He then did give me what I now know tk be STa but I did not realise this at the time which probably helped me to some degree. The only one I was actually aware of was after some weeks of devaluation even though technically we were no longer together. I told him I was leaving our ‘watering hole’ he didn’t reply. I’m not one to sit around and wait so that’s when I changed my number and deleted his, I left the watering hole. Bu said nothing to him, as far as he knew I was clueless and I have no heads up whatsoever that I was leaving and about to go NC. I would have loved to have known how it affected him, and I did google that a lot hahaha. And HG has further enlightened me.
How did you find out he was an N
Big hug and love. You’ve got this. You’re here. You can do it. No turning back now xxxx
I love the picture. Twisted.
Aren’t we just?
This is made to keep anxiety to the top… OMG… Wait until tonight. Wait until I tell my mother. Wait until the principle …
Wait until the big boss learns about this…
Not exactly positive and non-violent communication.
Creepy gif……….
Now that I am aware of the possibility that he never actually enjoyed the physical, I no longer desire him this way. I again thank you for opening my eyes.
My ego is too great to yearn for someone who only acted like they enjoyed themselves. I am the top of the mountain and he is stuck in the valley.
Wait until tonight………..perhaps his demons will consume him.
They do tend to come knocking late at night.
Do they knock at night? It was dark and a thunder storm with lightning blew in and I told him to look the dock (watching from the house) as it would light up. I told him to imagine someone standing there. It scared him. He told me to stop. Heh heh.
You scoundrel !
I like you. 🙂 I used to wait for the night. It has always been my friend. “oh my gosh…did you just see that?..or hear that?” It was my twisted sense of humor. He did his own brand though.
Wait until later tonight.
Wait until I get home.
These & other ominous warnings…it could be a lovely evening, or it could be a screaming match that you have planned.
Let’s spin a coin eh? Sometimes I do.
Another brilliant performance by Javier Bardeim. He was electrifyingly detached in his portrayal of an ice cold psychopath.
That was implacable malice at its finest.
This was my childhood. It made me sick to read. I can not stand surprises to this day. If one is planned for me I will take no part in it. I find this interesting to read HG. Do you ever come across an empath that would shy away from your massive, overbearing presence? Even having gifts bought for me including flowers makes me very uncomfortable. I would be attracted to your brains but turned off if you were forceful and I find it interesting women would fall for that. Do you find its the women who have been divorced prior? Is there a certain person you will target before you waste your time and go on?
No because I would ensure that the correct targets had been selected so there would be no likelihood of them shying away and moreover I would alter my approach if I felt that a particularly good target might not respond favourably to such an overbearing approach. Of course some people respond more to a domineering confident performance than others and I would alter the approach accordingly.
There is very much a certain person I would target as described in Sitting Target.
You have said that you always seek someone who is broken somehow, whether fresh break-up, childhood issues, daddy issues, etc. Is that always? All the past girlfriends you have written about here, Karen, Caroline, Alex, Lesley, Olivia, Kim, (throw in an ex-wife), did all of these fit into your profile?
It’s not always the case that they are broken in some way but often they are. If you want to know all about exactly how they were chosen and why you can find out in The Asylum of the Grotesque which has some significant revelations in it too.
I rather enjoyed the widening of my own broad grin and laughter escaping me upon opening that very funny image!!! LOL!
Reading this made me realize how utterly exhausting I must have been for the ex-NS…he had to keep on the seduction mask and Didn’t ever get to the phase where he had an opportunity to threaten me In the way you described, I certainly would have walked! Small consolation.
I placed far too much value in the sexual connection though…overlooking the myriad of red flags waving as I sought escape from feeling in the arms of his numbing affection. Trust and freedom are the foundation of any healthy connection..and in my numbed state, I simply could not see the lack of either.
Great post HG- thanks for shedding some moonlight on this topic.
I see what you did there, very good!
He-he, no worries HG, please.. use it as it would be delicious for me. Ooh I almost forgot, I won’t use it against you also, deal?
Ugh this gave me goosebumps in both the good way and the bad way all just while reading. This is so spot on. so very accurate of living with and loving a Narcissist.
Just shows how thin the dividing line is doesn’t it DANB?
Yes! Its crazy to see it this way actually. That same build up works in both directions so well.
All an illusion, the mind lies. All fun and games. This can be fuel over flowing. It is just an appliance though human. The closing statements are far deep with a hidden message. Know who you are for if you don’t, it’ll come and get ya. How did you get the face moving like that HG? I sure expected a tounge out.
The face isn’t movingLeilani, it’s your over-active imagination, how many times have I had to tell you about that?
Haha! Oh ya you’re right, you have told me time and time again about my sick fantasies (oops I meant over active imagination-down girl), illusions and perversions during that phase. Oh well down to enroll in cerebrial conquest it will be. It was worth a try HG.
You can tell me anything. I am a great listener and of course I won’t use it against you.
yes, yesterday was indeed a day of discovering many breeches of trust. Thank you
Did you experience this as well Nikita? love to you
Hi F&R
Love to you too. 💝💝. I am enjoying so much your comments.. 😃😃
Concerning you question is it on the breech of trust? The answer is no.. Thanks God I have not experimented that lately.
Or is concerning wait until… ??
Answers is not really lately but sometimes I heard it from a teacher or from my brother or from a very mean functional manager we once had..
Its not so nice To keep somebody on the edge, or even worse could be intimidating depending on the comtext.
it is inhumane to break confidence
Agree totally cruel. Destroying the soul