Cheap Talk
I think it was FR David who sang ‘words don’t come easy to me’. He clearly wasn’t one of my kind. Words are my weapon. I love words. I am a thesaurus able to conjure up so many different ways of saying the same thing. I am able to create the most evocative of pictures as the falsehoods tumble from my lips. The torrent of empty platitudes, hollow promises and banal observations comes thick and fast. I am a triumph of presentation over substance. Unfortunately for you, because of your nature and what you have endured before I came along, my words are honey-covered and you are unable to resist their allure. Someone other than you would see a red flag waving as my compliments cascade over you. Someone other than you would pause and reflect on whether there was anything meaningful in my daily diet of delicious declarations. Someone other than you would see straight through my lightweight monologues. But you cannot and you won’t. Not only have I selected you because you are utterly susceptible to my overtures but you need to hear my comments. You want them and as each day passes you come to rely on them more and more. I cause you to be addicted to my words. If you want to learn about the vast array of charming yet meaningless things I spout then you will find a whole host of them here http://www.amazon.com/Evil-H-G-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01496BIXS so fill your boots and be warned and warned others who might not yet have had the dubious pleasure of meeting my type. You always need to reflect on how often do I actually do something as opposed to say something. That is a useful barometer to keep referring to. Well, it is if you can find your way out of the myriad of sugar-coated sentences I will weave about you to keep you trapped and in my sights.
31 thoughts on “Cheap Talk”
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HG
The Narc I know admitted he was diagnosed with this disorder. I told him I knew and this is why he admitted. This is day one of no contact, I was mean according to my therapist and this is my only regret but at the time it felt good. I know what I say to him bothers him. Not all of it but I can get to him in the oddest ways. He is clearly a low level Narc and I need to stop the bleeding before I have no blood left.
Why did your therapist describe you as mean?
Umm I guess it is what I say to him. I take what he tells me and cover it with s*#t and hand it back to him.
I tell my therapist that he calls me mean, she asked why and I tell her what I say and she said that it is mean (not that it all bothers him, but I get lucky and some of it sticks). But she also said that he doesn’t realize that when I lash out at him, it is an anger from something that has nothing to do with him but he brought the emotion to the surface. (the betrayal I felt with him caused memories to surface of a situation that happened to me at 19, I was drugged and violated. Not since that moment in time have I felt so hollow until I met him and when he devalued me and discarded me.)
She would prefer I do not let his actions cause me to behave this way. Two wrongs do not make it right.
I can do more damage with my mouth in a split second, you won’t know what hit you.
I guess I devalue him, again, not that he cares. It does feel good when I am doing it but I do not feel good about it hours later. Oh! but he deserves it.
I get him where it hurts. Trust me on this one.
Same question.
“I am a triumph of presentation over substance.”
There is no such thing.
“Three things can not long be hidden: the sun, the moon and the truth.” ~ Budhha
HG,
I’ve recently met a man I believe could be an elite N but I’m also considering the possibility that he’s an empath with strong N traits. I need your expertise! He’s a self described sapiosexual and he claims to be addicted to my insight and knowledge and has asked me to help assess whether he has NPD because he recognizes some traits. Here are the list of traits:
1. Has to feel like he is the focus of attention in social settings and feels very anxious and uneasy when he’s not
2. Falls in love fast in the beginning of relationships but then gets bored and ends things. Admits to hoovering at times but he can also cut all ties for good.
3. Very successful but comes off as humble except for the fact he values and owns status symbols.
4. Promiscuous and typically cheats in relationships
5. Has severe trust issues
6. Self described control freak and commitment phobe
7. Admits to purposely making an ex cry because he needed to see tears at that moment
8. Is vengeful when wronged
Empath traits:
1. Claims that he has been in love and loves deeply (family, friends, lovers) and feels remorse, guilt, etc.
2. Is an animal lover and owns a dog
3. Denys that he could be considered toxic and says he doesn’t devalue people and doesn’t like to upset anyone
4. Expresses that he doesn’t want to be an N and would like to learn to change his negative behaviors if possible
Lets assume he’s being honest about everything, what’s your take?
My take is that he cannot be honest about everything so some of these admissions in respects of traits must not be true. I would consider looking at it this way – what have you seen him do (as opposed to say) in respect of these traits? Perhaps you can expand further on that as I would regard that as more of a litmus test.
Thanjs HG,
I will definitely be observing his behavior in person, we’ve been talking daily for 3 weeks. He’s convinced he has NPD, I’m seeing traits of it but I mostly see neurosis and he’s been diagnosed with anxiety and ADD as well. He’s a tough one to crack but I welcome the challenge and hope I can help him break free from his mental prison.
Really.. I’m pretty sure i’m on my 3rd narc in a row. The verbage is all the same. Be careful, I care about you too much. You are special.. Wtf? But oh yes, being a super empath, I ask myself what if i’m wrong and he is a victim of a narc. Talk about mirroring… I can’t do this again!!!
What makes you think that he might be a victim?
When he found out about my long term relationship with a narc, he decided that he was a victim of his last relationship also. Difference being, he does not question it or research.. Just thanks me for the insight.
Do most of you know when we are onto you? Looking for a way out!
No, a Lesser and Mid-Range are usually unable to realise.
Hello HG!
I consider myself free from a very long relationship with a narc/psych. I’ve written on your post a couple of times and yours aswers were a great help. I’ve written some of yours books, but unfortunately my rates are only published in Amazon.es and not in the rest. Anyway I’ve found them an education.
I would like to tell you something that happened with J. First, I’m a GP and J didn’t live in our country but he usually consulted me about every cough and pain, never mind the time or day, he wanted a remedy ASAP. Also he came here on holidays every year and wanted to be tested for everything, quite a hypochondriac. At the same time time we were on line lovers.
Well, one day, December 2014, he told me something really worrying, I told him to contact a doctor where he was living, very afraid indeed ’cause I could smell a cancer. Surgery was indicated and he decided to come to our country to go for the procedure. I prepared everything: the surgeon, the hospital, and also prepared him for the truth. When he came to my country I also told everything to his parents ( I ‘ve met them long time ago when we were a couple an about to marry) and was with him at the hospital and when the final diagnosis of cancer was given ( a very good prognosis, no need of further treatment, only follow-up). He told me ” you are the only brilliant star in the last dark months” or something as sillier as that and suddenly…..disappeared!!!. not answering my calls o messages., and I only wanted to know how he was getting on with it. Nobody knew about the real thing and, of course my mouth was locked ’cause ethics and also ’cause I hate gossip. After 5 months he contacted me, as if nothing had happened not wanting to talk anything about his condition.
That was the moment when I realized that I was only a thing for him, a useful thing. It took me almost two years to get free from him.
I think that he couldn’t stand to be vulnerable in front of me, human for once in his life.
Last April he sent me his wedding pictures. He got married at 58!. I didn’t answer.
Thanks for reading. XXX Marga
Hello Marga,
Thank you for taking the time to get in touch and do excuse my dilatory reply. I am pleased you have found my books helpful and thank you for reviewing them (you can place the reviews on other amazon sites by the way, not just amazon.es). His behaviour in accepting your assistance in dealing with a health problem and then disappearing is entirely typical. He got what he wanted from you and then immediately moved on. No doubt he was using his situation to draw fuel from all of those around you. His return five months later was a hoover and of course he would behave as if nothing had happened. That is par the course. Yes, you are an appliance to him and he will keep trying to come back to you from time to time for the purposes of gaining fuel, as he did so recently by sending you the wedding pictures. You did the right thing in not replying. He will try again but you clearly have the knowledge and fortitude to deal with him. Thanks for your post.
Thank you! Your answer arrived at perfect time and I know I must avoid him for my own safety and dignity but it was good to learn from an expert like you.
Reflect on how often do I actually do something….
That shouldn’t take too long in my situation lol. But those words are oh so powerful. A simple change in intonation…a smile. The promises…oh the promises.
HG please know I remain grateful to yoi for your insights. I look forward to more fiction and novels as well. I agree you are a very captivating writer.
Thank you Cat, that is most kind of you. There I s plenty more on the way.
I look forward also everyday to see what HG has posted new 😍
You are articulate one moment and taciturn the next. Words are wonderful and you use them well.
We operate everything on the basis of contrast.
You do. My word of the day is mendacity. Its beauty is masked by its meaning. I hope you don’t mind if I stick around. The inner Jaded is looking for red flags aplenty from everyone since Ns return. I have to explain that your trait of mendacity is delivered with brutal veracity on this blog.
Mendacity and veracity are excellent words and I am pleased that you will stick around, I enjoy your input. Have you spotted many red flags so far?
I’ve seen them from one person. Gaslighting, credit taking and the like. Fake effusive praise. Touching to create intimacy (ew don’t). She’s tried to undermine me. A coworker showed me something and told me to watch my back. I had the heebie jeebies to begin with, but now i know, thanks to your confirmation.
And to come back and elaborate. It pisses me off at me more than her. Everyone saw her stripes from the get go and I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. Bleh, gag and retch.
HG can you explain this please? Operate everything on the basis of contrast ? Also can you give an example?
BY all means. Let’s imagine I devalue you from the beginning. Leave aside the issue of you upping sticks and walking away for the moment. I would gain negative fuel from you. It would be good. However, if I had charmed and seduced you,made you feel special et al for a year beforehand and THEN devalued you, your upset, hurt, devastation would be all the greater and thus the potency of the fuel would be greater.
For instance, let us say I take you up five storeys and push you from the window. Quite a fall. If I do the same after digging a pit five storeys deep the fall is even greater.
If I am pleasant to you, if feels good. But if I have hurt you and upset you and then I am pleasant to you, kind and seek forgiveness, your relief after the hurt is even greater. This is how we operate through contrasts. We want to make the gulf between two points as wide as possible, so that there is the greatest range that you can switch between. This makes you provide more potent fuel and the level of difference also proves to be disorientating as it is such a rollercoaster.
Did you or did u not just say above that everything u say is a lie, fabrication, a twisting of words to gain for yourself a reaction or fuel? U want women to rely on u, to control women.? God I think that those are the nicest words I ever heard. Who’s with me?
Me too I thank God for having found you and your blog everyday HG 😍❤️.
Thanks for sharing. Blog any blook incredible.
What an understatement!!!! HG you are a brilliant writer. The images and scenes you conjure with your words are second to none.
Your writing feeds my soul and sets it on fire. It settles in my bones down to the marrow. I feel every synonym and verb and punctuation mark coursing though my veins, coaxing my heart to keep beating.
You have a gift and it is tremendous. It is absolutely true that you are securing a solid legacy through the work you do here on this blog.
Your writing adds integral fuel to my day. It brings me comfort. Everything else is madness except in this sacred space.
I thank God for you every day.
Dear Elijah Price,
So basically I’m going to be locked in blog prison awaiting your words that I need to fix my life. How did I get hoovered into that one? I should have known that you would spend more time reading the thesaurus than being concerned about helping me. Getting dumber by the second. (Fuel Alert)
Signed,
David Dunn a.k.a. Trainwreck Survivor.
P.S. Nice *cough prison cough* Blog Post