Tirade
“You’ve done what? I cannot believe it. What on earth possessed you to do that? Are you mad? Are you completely unhinged woman? Sweet Jesus I don’t believe what you just said to me. How many times have we been over this before? Countless times. Hell, I said it only yesterday didn’t I? I cannot believe you would be so stupid as to do something like this, it just beggars belief. You know I am starting to think that you do this on purpose don’t you? It’s no good shaking your head and staring at me like that, do you think I will feel sorry for you if you give me those eyes? Do you? I said DO YOU? Yes, you may as well shake your head again, it’s about as much as someone of your idiocy can do. I swear I am living with an epsilon semi-moron, have you always been this fucking dumb? I guess you have. It was such a simple thing to do, straight forward, a child could do it, but no not you, you had to go and be clever and go and royally fuck it up. You absolute idiot. You have ruined everything now; you do realise that don’t you? I mean it is completely ruined and how about that for a fantastic start eh? Yes, I am being sarcastic, I suppose I have to explain that to someone as brain dead as you. Jesus, why on earth have I been saddled with you. Don’t you fucking dare speak when I am speaking, you’ve done enough damage as it is, you will shut the fuck up and listen to me when I am setting you straight. I have pointed out to you so many bloody times what you should do and you assured me, you stood there and assured me that you knew what you were doing. That was a lie. I SAID SHUT UP AND DON’T INTERRUPT ME! I swear you want me to hit you don’t you? That’s what you are trying to do. Oh I know you alright, you think you are so damn clever but I have you worked out. I know what you are up to. That’s right, wind me up, get it wrong, disappoint and frustrate me and then you want me to explode and land myself in some hot water. Well it isn’t going to work with me. I am not stupid. I am not you, you know. I know what I am doing. I am the one that keep this place together, you would do well to remember that when you are busy ruining everything with your mind-blowing and monumental incompetence. It is breath taking. It truly is. I told you what to do. I told you once, I told you a hundred times and you said to me and I can specifically remember what you said, you said ‘don’t worry, I can be trusted to get it right’. Yes, that is what you said. It is no point looking like that, don’t pull that face with me, don’t you fucking dare, I am sick of you not showing me enough respect around here. I work my backside off to keep things afloat, not that you give me any credit for it though. Oh no, you are too busy taking the piss, fucking things up and spoiling it for everyone and especially for me. I don’t know what I am going to do now. I mean, you’ve just, I, I am almost lost for words. You see, not only have you cocked it right up but you have lied to me as well. I don’t know which is worse, but that’s you all over isn’t it. The liar, the deceiver, you flatter to deceive. Don’t think I don’t know what you get up to. I have my eye on you, yes, you would do well to look worried, I know all about you. What are you looking over there for? Look at me when I am talking to you. Look. At. Me. Oh here we go, the waterworks. If you have messed up and you are being corrected start crying and it will be all okay again. Well it won’t will it? It won’t be okay after what you have done. It won’t be fine. It won’t be good or great or fine and dandy. You have messed it up. I knew this would happen. I knew I shouldn’t have left it to you, but do you know what, I thought to myself, no, give her a chance, let her prove she can do it, let he demonstrate that she can be trusted to get it right, I mean, after all, that is what a relationship is all about isn’t it? Trust. Without trust there is nothing. Do you see what you have done? Do you? Do you really understand the impact of what you have done? Somehow I doubt it, that is why I am having to do this. Do you think I like shouting at you? What’s that? Were you going to nod then? Why you ungrateful and nasty bitch, you have some cheek to accuse me of enjoying this when I am the one who has to put up with the consequence of your outrageous incompetence. I am the one who is put out. I am the one who has to suffer. You will just walk away muttering about having understood, how you have learned your lesson and you won’t do it again but I may as well be speaking in Mandarin for all of the notice that you take. I told you to stop crying. If you don’t stop crying, I am going to seriously lose it with you. Christ, what am I going to do? You’ve messed it up and ruined it for me. You don’t care, you don’t. If you did care you wouldn’t keep doing this would you. You wouldn’t keep making these mistakes and winding me up. You are trying to send me to an early grave aren’t you so you can have all this to yourself aren’t you? Got some fancy man on the side have we? I bet that’s what this is all about isn’t it? Ruin me through your incompetence and then waltz off into the sunset with some Johnny Come Lately after I croak it, sent to an early grave by your scheming. You’d love that wouldn’t you, to see me off. You nasty cow, no wonder nobody likes you, no wonder nobody asks you out. Oh yes, we never get invited anywhere these days because of you and your behaviour and is it any wonder. You are a walking disaster area. I mean people put up with you, they did it for my sake, I have good friends like that, or should I say I had good friends like that but thanks to you they are disappearing like rats on a sinking ship. You won’t be happy will you until you have completely ruined everything for me will you. That’s what you want. You want me on my knees, gasping for breath, miserable and wretched as you cavort and carry on with some other mug that you have seduced and promised the world to. I can’t believe I fell for it, but then I guess you keep the real you hidden don’t you, tucked away until you have your feet under the table, your name on the deeds and the joint Amex account. Well you are not that clever because you won’t beat me. I am cleverer than you. I am going to make you pay for what you have done. I am the one who is in charge here, this is my house and you do what I say. I am going to unleash hell against you after this catastrophe, it is an outrage, a complete outrage. I pity our neighbours having to put up with this, but you make me do it, it is all about you. I am not fooled by the frightened looks and the tears, other people might be taken in by it, but I am not. I know it is all for show. You disgust me, you scheming, manipulative, hateful cow. I curse the day I met you. Now look, you’ve made me late, thanks a bunch, that’s all I need. I’m going and don’t think I’ve finished; this is far from over.”
Silence.
“I thought you would prefer raspberry jam to marmalade,” you say softly to nobody in particular.
108 thoughts on “Tirade”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Who do they lash out on if they have no one?
Hello Kendall, by no one I assume you mean they do not have an intimate partner? They would lash out at family, friends, neighbours, old intimate partners, the lady in the bar, the stranger in the street, it does not matter so long as fuel is obtained.
Why did HG cross the stocked pond?
You need to start that one again Amy. Why did the pond move out of HG’s way? Everything revolves around me remember?
Ah yes of course HG, Or perhaps to get to the other side because ALL the fish jumped INto his ship and he could not discard them fast enough.
This has been a very entertaining thread.
Do you and your cousin both work for the family business?
No.
HG, does he also know that he is? Do you and him get along ? Xxx
No he has no idea. I don’t have a lot to do with him these days.
I’m so glad to have found this place! I wonder how many hours added up that I fought THAT spirit?!! I’m just tired now.. Thank you for letting us know that we aren’t crazy! That it ALL happened just like that! Over tiny little things like jam and jelly! You just described my entire life! Interchanging the various bodies that have housed that spirit of course. Been going on since before I walked into kindergarten! . God helped me implement the “oopsy daisy” at my house when the kids made a mistake or spilled something or broke it. Big or little. Doesn’t matter! I cleaned the whole house one day and had yet to wind up the vacuum and put it away, and left the nail clippers out on the counter top. That Narc was BOOMING with RAGE all over the house! That little baby girl of mine was dragging the vacuum trying to put it away!! I’m SO GLAD WE ARE OUT OF TJERE! It’s amazing how he is now her hero and she rolls her eyes at me! My son knows, and remembers.. Can’t believe it happened ALL again with someone I already knew and trusted as a respecter of boundaries for 11 years! Your validation is helping to put many Humpty Dumpty’s back together again! Because of writings like these, I am soooo unwilling to put up with 1 more second of this WASTE of precious LIFE!!! Thank you HG!! 😎
Once the anger dissipates Heather, you will begin to heal.
Right now my anger feels great! It’s directed at the right things! At the right people for the right reasons! Instead of stewing in my juices of confusion! Or turning in on myself in a depression. I’ve had so many days, nights holidays and special occasions and peaceful beautiful moments YANKED by a tirade over stupid little crap like meatloaf, songs I like, a thought in my head that was different, or an bright idea or a tiny dream to go somewhere would set these psychos off!! My life time has been stolen by that noise!! I’m enjoying my anger because IT has been one of the top rules of the various Narcs for my life. THEY could go on a tirade over a bic lighter and wreck holidays, birthdays and weekends. I couldn’t even crinkle my eyebrows in disapproval without “CAUSING” them to go on another one! So yeah, I’m liking all of my feelings right now and my anger is springing from a heart who is fighting for a chance to be a human being with feelings instead of just an appliance to be used and misused and used up, without a heart or soul!! I’m enjoying being “Right” about these LIARS that denied me validation!! They held up being “RIGHT” as I fought for “connection” and understanding and mutuality!! It was A ON PURPOSE!! I heard I was CRAZY or a fruitcake for telling the truth. My anger feels good. Being right feels good! Doing no contact like a BOSS! Feels AWESOME!! I’m coming back to life from being killed by another Narc! As far as he is concerned, Heather as he knew her is now dead!! He murdered her! As far as he is concerned? To me? I’m not quite sure where to place him? My friend was abducted by an alien that took over his body! I’ll never see him again.! Or, my friend wasn’t real! He was an alien pretending to be my friend!! Either way? Pisses me off! As well I should be! I think that this OS my healing!!
Yes, we have tendency to direct our anger inward, well I do far too often.
Yes. Heather, CN and MN were the same, they probably all are that way…hypocrisy. They can express and enact their negative emotions, but in their minds we have no right to do the same, as they are entitled and we are lowly and must abide by their ways. I don’t follow that mindset, We have rights and expression of feelings and opinion is one of them.it is our RIGHT, it always was.
Yes, he was an illusion, my ex once called him a shadow of a man….at the time, before knowing what he was and when he used fake illness to define my feelings of sympathy. He is a shadow, an illusion, an alien. I keep look for glimmers of truth in things he said and did, but there are none anymore. They see us as appliances, I dint like that word, I prefer adornments. We adored men who never truly existed, other then our adoration maintained their facade and needs….for fuel.
I advocate venting as a form of healing and the power to feel safe doing so.
Yes, Heather, it is your healing.
Good morning and goodnight HG. Being and empath does not mean being drained and helpless. I find the older I get the more of a super power it is. I can let things in just enough to get a read a high voltage charge and you bet it’s fuel. I wish more empaths would grow a pair, a big brassy pair and stop bending over to get a raging character assignation over TOAST. I am a real empath but my narc parents didn’t raise me to take abuse, I didn’t even take it from them, As always thank you for responding and sharing you doer you. What a goldmine of prolific life changing information. Time for this vampire with a conscience to put the castle to sleep. The scorching sun will rise over Los Angeles all to soon.
Good night Amy and thanks for your post.
Oh my God. Sounds exactly like my ex. The longer he went on, the more mad he’d get. It was like his words fed themselves into his rage, like a perpetual motion machine. I cringed reading this. So triggering. HG, you have done it again. Bravo.
I am mentally drained just reading. The lesser or mid range are notorious for these type of tirades. It leave you confused and causes cognitive dissonance. You are left feeling so helpless like a 5 year being scolded. My lesser did it after a few weeks then offered an apology after telling me I deserved to be scolded like that because of a childish comment. Wow..and now I know it was all for fuel.
Hmm sounds like most of my family was in this one
I know that tirade & others like it. Of course I’ve learned to tune my mother out when she goes off on a tirade.
That helps only sometimes only a few people depending on the type of verbal abuse you’ve been subjected throughout your lifetime determines your tolerance to a use if you’ve been through abuse since childhood you’ll not tolerate no matter how much you convince yourself or others try to convince you its clinically proven
Lollapalooza is July 28th -31st. Grant Park Chicago. Yes, silly me greater great. Do u use those artistic expressions when you “grudge fuck”?
Wait and see.
Hey I’m at the hotel. Want me to send the PJ?
Ild take that as a yes
This fish is swimming away…maybe. Are you really heading to Chicago? How would we know it was you if you came?
You wouldn’t know. That’s the idea!
True. I wouldn’t. Have fun if you decide to come in.
HG, your Uncles son, Lee, is he a narc also?
He is.
Do you find yourself being competitive with him?
Not at all, there is no competition, I am way out of his league.
I already knew that answer. Just another minnow floating out there. Haha
I’m supposed to be in town that weekend. Maybe I’ll go out of town instead and wave at you guys as I leave. Have fun at lollapalooza!
1J1…I grew up in Detroit area. I am there quite often. We will have 2 hang out. I wish you could have come with me. Maybe we dated the same Narc? Wouldn’t that be something?
It’s a small world so anything is possible. 🙂 Yay to meeting another person who grew up in the Detroit area.
Too funny! I’ll actually be in Chicago next weekend reconnecting with an old girlfriend from high school.
I am heading to Chicago. Fish, Barrel. Shooting.
Too tempting to pass up this delicious, little, fishy bait?
Oh I am everywhere.
Lol! Newsflash – you’re not God. I know, take a moment. That’s a hard pill to swallow.
Yes I am.
Oh hush!
Mlaclarece….buy my extra passes for lollapalooza. Strength in numbers if HG shows up…of course we instantly become a harem I think. And FYI HG, there is not one thing about me that is “fishy”….now I got a cat that needs scratching. Tootles.
P.S. there will be 300,000 people literally at lolla, Narc breeding ground. I’m looking 4 u. 😍
Watch for the parting tide and you shall see my advance.
I can get u backstage. Now wouldn’t that impress your friends?? Maybe I will get someone famous to plug your books….I’ll put that on twitter for u…..oh I can feel your bed now and hear S&N in my ear! Keep talking……yes that’s it. 💦😻👄
You have my attention. Can you deliver? I will make it all worthwhile.
I always deliver baby.
Ha! Even VIP tickets @ $650/ticket are sold out for next Saturday night. But, I have to say, if I got to meet H.G., I’m not willing to share him with 300,000 people for the evening.
Oh I do like you
Abso-fucking-lutely you should!
You think your not sharing but he is….lol I got 4 day vip passes I’ll. Sell u both for $1,000.00.
Your offer is very kind. Thank you! I do have another engagement I was coming up into the City for next weekend though. Plus, I am not quite in the tax bracket that can swing $1000 ticket. Maybe someday?! Lol
Don’t worry Clarece just mention my name, it opens so many doors or is that trapdoors?
Ahhhh, so Lollapalooza beckons you after all…
Only if I know you are going to go Clarece.
I will be in Chicago but attending another function. So close and yet so far. However, with notice, Chicago is a mere 2 hour drive. I go up frequently.
I have made a note.
Good move. I’m actually heading into the city today to attend a play, so I’ll be quiet on the blog today. Enjoy your day!
Which play Clarece?
“Byhalia, Mississippi” @ Steppenwolf Theatre
That’s the noise I make when I stub my toe. Enjoy the play, sounds quite gritty.
I prefer gritty! I’m not a Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice kind of girl. Lol
We will hook up sometime…u sound smart and fun!
This was real for me, he said pretty much all those insults during his furied rages,not over jam, mind but questions or thoughts I had. Sometimes, I wondered, may I am an idiot and stupid woman…I just can’t help myself 😓
I even wanted to say, I am sorry after reading that. Wow, HG. Too real. The words too, winding you up, taking the piss, being called a cow…Northern boys sure know how to slag you off.
That’s their technique to destroy your self esteem and self doubt which makes you more suceptable to their submission been there done that it’s a way to destroy self esteem which “gives them power” or do they think
I heard the same as a child from my mum….thank you Clary and Hi.
Sometimes unconsciously we select a partner like our parents because if the a use because we look to mirror in a partner what we had as a child and because we can’t discern another behavior because it’s what we learned there are many resins get professional help to loon for the ones that apply to you and don’t let him or anybody know you’re getting professional help . If yes supplying your finances get a job and do the rest have a great night likewise
😖😖 sorry to hear you had it so difficukt 😖
This sounds awful, but it has happened so much, one gets conditioned to it, until making it and them stop. Thank you Nikita.
You are not stupid or an idiot.
Thank you 1jaded1.
Sounds like somebody under stress who got very angry for something not so significative as the flavor of the mermelade. 😢. And maybe already a background of unloving attitudes.
Very good again HG. you are in one word excellent.
Angry something not so significant sign of psychopath so is lack of attention and love in the past unloving attitudes specially if the whole family us involved
The ultimate dressing down….brow beating…..I got it once for my Color choice of lipstick…..there are no perimeters I think.
Jana I know. I also got sometimes for now reason. But not as harsh thanks God.
Let me say they both could fully unleash on me. I am glad it wasn’t like that Nikita.
Whoa. Everday I am making white, wheat, rye, jam, Marmalade, peanut butter, jelly, pop tarts, toaster strudel, waffles, French toast , pancakes, bacon, sausage, potatoes, soft boiled, hard boiled, fried, scrambled eggs, tea, coffee, cream, sugar and I am making sure I am barefoot and pregnant. Or I could just laugh and bash u with a frying pan. Let’s flip a coin.
Time to get out of that kitchen…..cast iron, right?
Agreed
I make big breakfast like that daily, made me smile. I enjoy feeding people.
MS
Everytime I picture u I think of Ariana Grande. She’s all cute and fuzzy but she’s bitchy if you don’t shoot her from the left side only. If I win the millionth hit I might ask HG if I can bring you too.
Ha ha, I like that btw. She is a bit of diva, isn’t she. No comment lol cuing up one last time….
So what is it? Just letting off steam? Then you’re fine and calm 15 minutes later but enjoying the power rush from everyone else in the house tip-toeing around you? Do you ever get that frustrated and think those thoughts in the seduction phase? How do you handle if a new supply unintentionally upsets you early on – how do you channel your anger? Or is this type of tirade specifically saved for devalue on trivial things that do not even really upset you; you’re just detaching?
I can exert sufficient control to not do it and during seduction the needs of the seduction and the positive fuel easily make it possible to smooth over any unintentional upset that may happen. Different perspectives you see, the fury is far less likely to be ignited and if it is, somebody else will get the backlash not the new target.
Something like the example would cause a lesser and a mid-range to erupt like this. I would decide whether I would allow the ignited fury out or take it elsewhere, dependent on how I see it serving me best. You see, the problem lesser and mid-range have is that these caustic explosions eventually numb the victim so they become de-sensitised to them. I prefer to have them not know where I will be striking from. Keeps them on their toes and the negative fuel fresh for longer.
That’s why my idiot us a lesser and I don’t give a fuck I’m numbed stupid moron ex not that I applaud his behavior n anyway at all whatsoever and his family coworkers and friend who enable him
Oh that beautiful, troubled mind of yours!
Love is a battlefield….incoming…..
So any wounding that may happen unintentionally during seduction, you’ll transfer and project to whomever is on your devalue list. Your focus today was very interesting though honing in on the visceral and raw outbursts of the lessers. Even with the “artistic” use of the F-bombs thrown in to illustrate a point, I don’t doubt you can flip the switch to get down and dirty if need be.
This really had me chuckling as I had anticipated the ending.
The scary thing for me was it reminded me so much of my dad when we were young!
Given me food for thought! Thanks HG you are on fire today!
Me my mom
Johnny Come Lately, ha ha. Can’t hide anything from him. I think a cup of chamomile tea will relax him or more fuel.
Is that forplay for hate sex HG, because if there is no hate sex after that then what’s the point?
On the occasion referenced in the article, no, but you make a valid point Amy, a GrudgeFuck could follow. If it does not the tirade achieves fuel, control, dominance, compliance and so forth.
You’re awful sweary today. Dropping the F bomb. Subconsciously u thinking about fucking? I see some groupies I can send your way. Btw I got 2 extra 4 day passes for lollapalooza in Chicago HG u wanna fly in and bring your latest victim? Seriously.
The profanity is for artistic purposes to prove a point. I do not usually litter it through my writing. I am a Greater remember. When is Lollapalooza?
Chicago offers many sights and excursions to take in, as you know…
Indeed I do, the nearby beacon is my first port of call.
And you’re always honest on the blog.
I guess the terminology is regional HG , I’ve never heard it put that way. So berating someone, screaming in their face provides fuel, because they allow it? If this person faught back, would that provide more fuel? Not being your kind it baffles me. I get no fuel from someone who would let me walk all over them. Everyone needs fuel, it’s the most important meal of the day, if we’re being honest. For my kind it can be negative but the best is an equal and positive flow.
If I quarreled that ferociously with a partner over breakfast the hate sex would not end until after dinner. You call it a grudge, so whose grudge would it be, and if she submitted to sex after being screamed at like that wouldn’t that be total submission from her and there for super fuel?
Yes, if the person fought back it would provide fuel because there would be emotion combined with their reaction. It would be my grudge, I am the doer remember, I am not done to. Indeed it would be excellent fuel, the hate sex might follow, it depends on the circumstances.
Okay, are we treading the lines of soft porn? 😊 Hopefully, not because a narc/ sociopath uses sex as a weapon against us so our treasure can and will turn quickly to trash. And the mid range will look at us as whores/ trash for considering without their initiation. My past experience .
Grudge Fuck is a great term. Haven’t heard it in years. Now I need to feed you some soap, HG. What is your favorite flavor?
Essence of Empath.
I have not heard of this term as well HG but I like it as it is self explanatory.
Sounds like the monologues of a deballed mother father lover complex HAHAHAAAAAA
I think I’ve read that somewhere before Clary
Wow sounds like the monologues of a depressed deballed lover mother father complex HAHAHAAAAAA