Forever on the Fake
Fakery, fabrication and lies are the bricks and mortar of our existence. They are the bread and butter that enable us to have sustenance. I know that when you look back at the golden period you always struggle to understand that it was not real. You cannot fathom out how something that felt so right, so true and so real could actually be something so false. Our behaviour seemed so genuine. Our declarations of undying love so moving and emotive, how could this be a façade? Yes you thought occasionally that we were a little over the top but you found that endearing. The reason it seemed so genuine is because our performance was so convincing. This performance was of such a high calibre owing to two things. The first because we have practised repeatedly and we possess experienced ease at mimicking the behaviour of others. We have done it so often and to so many people we do it without thinking. And there is the neat segue into the second reason. We do it without thinking because we believe it to be absolutely the right thing to do. We are not concerned that we are exhibiting a false front to you. We are not troubled by the fact that all our smiles, kisses and pleasantries are manufactured. Not only are we not burdened by this because we are not designed to be burdened by such concerns it also because we have the complete and utter conviction that behaving in this manner is the right thing to do. We need to seduce you. We need to ensnare you and what better way to do so than by this campaign of love and desire? Where is the harm in that? We get you where we want you, we receive dollops of delicious fuel and you feel loved, wanted and placed on a throne at the top of a pedestal. It is a win- win surely?
Does it really matter that your bag is a fake Louis Vuitton? It holds objects, feels the same and looks the same, so where is the problem? That Blu-ray disc is not a genuine licensed film but you can still watch it all the same with next to no deterioration in viewing pleasure, so again, what is the issue? Our fakery works for you and it works for us.
Our façade to the world of being charming, reliable and wonderful despite that particular mask being removed behind closed doors again is just a necessary device. How does it matter that friends and family are conned? They like me, they admire me and they believe me so where again is the harm in that? Yes, they may not believe what you have to say about me based on my façade but that is your fault. If you had kept up the flow of fuel this would not have to happen. Everyone else out there is in blissful ignorance and you want to change that. You want them to see what you claim is the real me. Why? All you will do is upset and alarm them. Is it not better that they remain shrouded in the illusion, content and unaware,rather than be subjected to the concern and worry that you seem intent on burdening them with? Why must you project your problems on to other people?
Even when I denigrate and berate you this too is merely manufactured. I do not really mean those horrible things that I say and do. I just do them because I have to. I have to keep you in your place, under my control and spewing out that negative fuel that I crave so much. If you had kept up the supply of decent quality fuel I would not have to say these things to you to provoke a reaction. I only do it because I must, I do not mean any of it. Even when you ignite my fury my hateful words and spiteful comments through this explosive fury is only based on a necessity to protect myself from your awful criticism of me. I do not mean it, it just has to happen. Do you understand now why it is not my fault? There is no real intent behind what I say and do, they are just merely actions which serve a purpose to ensure I get the fuel that I need.
From my seduction, through to my façade to everyone else and even my devaluing of you, it is all based on a fabrication. A necessary set of illusions required to preserve my existence. No matter who I deal with, who I interact with or who comes within my sphere of influence, I roll out the lies, the untruths and the perfidy. Everything I say or do is manufactured but I have an utter conviction in the necessity of this manufactured process so that this, couple with an absence of conscience or remorse enables me to churn out the lies and illusions like a factory production line.
I am always on the fake. And that’s the truth.
44 thoughts on “Forever on the Fake”
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You, HG, are a paradox. That picture is hilarious…truth.
HG and followers , you know on your FB newsfeed stuff just comes up . Something just came up do you know or have you dated a psychopath. I took the test based on him and it came out at he is a psychopath but of course the answers I gave fit a narcissist as well. It’s all anonymous and it’s just random how these things come up on your page there’s no link to him . But I feel like sharing that link and the results of it . His sister would see it and so would a few others . Or I could just share the link of take this test without any results . I’m considering it ?? Any thoughts ? ?
I totally understand your desire to do this, it’s intense but it will pass.
My advice would be don’t do it. You can play a much better game if they are blissfully unaware that you know what they are.
What would you be hoping to achieve by doing it ?
Alexis , thanks for responding . Why can I play a much better game if they think I’m blissfully unaware ? He’s never going to come back and he just got away with it all. I just feel like letting him know that I know what he is ? If I thought he’d come back I wouldn’t do anything . But I don’t think he will. I also have a funeral coming up that I may have to attend . This family friend died tragically at work and this was nearly 6 weeks ago. He is a mutual friend of me and my ex N. I know that my ex thinks and would have thought at the time of the death that I would be at that funeral . However due to it being an accident at work the coroners have not yet released the body , until cause of death has been determined . Nobody could have anticipated this length of time. It will be a very big funeral and myself and my mother were not going to go we just send cards . But the mother of the man that has passed away has called me and messaged a number of times and just presumes we will go . I’ve known them since I was 7 years old. I really don’t want to go because this gives N the chance to just ignore me or if he doesn’t I don’t know how to handle him . It also saves him a Hoover . One is delivered on a plate to him to gain fuel from me in one way or another . If I act like I don’t know what he is ? Then what ? It will only be a benign Hoover not even really a Hoover . Plus it’s a very sad situation regarding this death as he was only 40 years old . HG?
If you both attend the funeral it is unlikely that you can avoid one another but that would be the first aim. If you have to interact keep it to the minimum. Say hello and move away. I am sure during the service you can be seated away from him and if he leaves the church soon after you can remain with other attendees. If he is lingering, then you can leave the church and go to the wake. At the wake he will doubtless try to hoover you by approaching you. Ensure someone else remains with you so you can talk to them rather than him, this will be tantamount to ignoring him which will create a criticism and cause him to need fuel. He is likely to move away rather than cause a scene and if he does cause a scene, do not react and he is made to look bad. If you are cornered then deal with him in a neutral fashion so he is not getting any fuel. Don’t ask about him or how he is. Don’t provide detail if you answer any questions. It will feel uncomfortable but ensure you do not show this, remain neutral and business like. There is not need to tell him you know what he is. It is not the appropriate time to do so.
Boob tawlk with your host HG Tudor. Liked your triangulating comment. Made me think of what my narc brother does, finger flicks wife in fake boob laughs and says she can’t feel it anyway. She gets mad spews some fuel. Nice.
H.G. always keepin’ it real.
Ain’t that the truth.
The truth that is not the truth but THE truth, if that’s true. True dat?
Faked things are the worst. Its better to pretend to be rich and save one year for a bag than get a fake one.
Fake nails, Botox, fake extensions.. Not nice.. Fake breast is so widespread that one could say maybe its the only fake that is not boring..
The fake boob ratio from my anecdotal position is 30%.
#HGfunfacts
Hahaha how do you come up with that number?? Do you think fake boobs are okay?
Based on my personal experience of boobs.
Fake boobs have their uses. They boost self-esteem for certain ladies. They are apt for triangulation. “Would you like a drink? How about your false friends as well?” That gets the fuel flowing.
Ultimately it is the fuel behind the boobs which matters, real or false.
Hahaha of course. I should have know better.. The fuel LOL
#Funfactoid2
It is precise HG.
Hi HG 🙂
I wonder what your thoughts are on this article in todays DM please ?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-3721798/Are-married-child-men-sulk-throw-tantrums-refuse-grow-up.html?offset=0&max=100&reply=136808526&jumpTo=comment-136808526
According to Anna Moore , narcs are nothing more than ” Kidults” or “adultescents” as she calls them in her article . Grown up men who are ” emotionally stunted ” & throw their toys out of the pram to get their own way .
She goes on to list many traits of a narcissist under the heading ” Is he an overgrown baby ”
I’m furious ! Just how many men & women will read this & not realise its abuse ..
Apologies but I wasn’t sure where else to post .
Thank you So Sad. It is of course the Daily Mail so what would you expect. The DM has more female readers than male and therefore panders to articles such as these which like to undermine men and emasculate them. Of course what this article fails to do is to identify that the traits they refer to are actually prevalent in far more dangerous individuals than the article suggests. There is a world of difference between the overgrown kid who has some mild narcissistic traits and prefers to play video games and hang out with the lads, compared to our kind who are dangerous. This is the kind of article that actually makes it easier for our kind to remain undetected. “Oh he is just a big kid, he needs to grow up” and then post supposedly amusing anecdotes on Mumsnet about his inability to use the washing machine with any regularity. What they may be making light of is a dangerous predator and they will find out to their cost. I would be interested to know if you felt moved to put them straight in the comments section?
Thank you for the fast reply HG .
I was furious when I read it and more so at the flippant response from the editor today .
Yes I did reply , mostly Red Arrowed meaning that I my response was disagreed with .
Would you mind if I quote your response in reply to the editor & the letters page ?
I have your other communication SS and replied. I have formulated in my mind a response which I will provide to you to use as part of your overall response which will make the point you want to make and in a manner that cannot be diluted or ignored.
Thank you HG I appreciate it . x
It matters that my handbag is a REAL Coach bag/REAL Michael Kors bag/REAL Marc Jacobs bag. Louis Vuitton is a more expensive, a better brand, but I can’t afford it and I won’t be one of those women who buys knockoff handbags on Canal Street. It also matters that my hair is my own hair (as opposed to wig/weave), that my fingernails are my own (as opposed to fiberglass or acrylic).
Hahah Cara. Ver Funny. Dont rely on brands. Its very superficial. If you buy brands then try a brand with purpose like FRIDAY made out of recycled material😃
Nikitalondon, my point is my bag, my nails, my hair, my boobs, are real…it’s an “of course you can trust me, everything about me is real”
Cara, that reminded me a little of a section of the song Perfect – Mason v Princess Superstar.
For many of us Nikita brands do matter.
It’s what separates us from everyone else. Because we can afford what others can’t. It’s about status and power.
It’s superficial but some of us don’t give a rip since nearly everything about us is.
Hi BT
I know what brands mean. I come from such a family and circle. My brothers will not wear any shirt in public which is not Lacoste and so on so forth..
For what show what you cam afford..??
The only time I would be tempted would be for shoes but then I think about all the poverty and social situation that I think there are also beautiful shoes and more ethical buying 😃😃
I said before that the most heinous thing in this post is the suggestion that it doesn’t matter if the Vuitton is real or not.
And again I find myself shocked and appalled. HG…..how could you?!?!?!
I’m with Cara on this one too. I take great pride knowing everything about my body and how I choose to adorn it is real.
And as you know, I’m even better than the real thing.
Do you think I would ever be stupid enough to question that???? You’re preaching to the converted darling.
Hence why I said I prefer the real thing to the illusion when it comes to you.
Totally agree, Cara. 100%.
Hi HG, this post has really confused me. I’m sure I’m not the only one reading this to take some reassurance that all the nasty stuff is not really believed by the narc , although would a lesser to mid believe the nasty stuff in order to justify why the relationship can’t work or do they know they are making this stuff up even though they may not actually understand why ? My second question is and this is hard to explain and I don’t even know if you will understand the question , but this person the goes through the world faking everything and feeling no remorse , just getting by and knowing some how this facade or whatever you want to call it . This pretend person interacting with the world in order for things to self serve them best . Or doing the nasty stuff or whatever even if it’s just to someone quite insignificant in their lives , the local bar staff in the bar they drink in etc etc . Who is behind this fake personality ? Who is in there operating that false personality and mimicking and doing all these things that are repeated and learnt and tested . What works what doesn’t . Twisting and changing things slightly and adapting the fake to suit the circumstance . What and who is the awareness in there operating this fake person . It’s being operated by somebody that has an awareness in there that they are doing this . Who is he ? I hope this makes sense ?
A lesser does believe it because of the way they respond through instinct. The Mid Range will make stuff up but will do so so often that he will end up believing it as fact.
Who is the person behind it all. It is us. The Lesser is that person because he does not and cannot distinguish. The Mid-Range cannot do so either. The Greater knows that there is if you will a separation of powers. There is that which we do not want the world to see or know about which is locked away and there is that which we create because that is what we want the world to say, we are behind both decisions however.
Great Question!
When I’ve read this both times, and the part you say that no matter who you deal with and who comes in your sphere of influence, you are rolling out the lies – that this blog and your books are the biggest façade.
You’re married to Kim, live in the English Countryside, have 2 kids and a dog. You’re a renown psychologist. Dr. E and Dr. O are your colleagues. Being a huge fan of Bret Easton Ellis, you decided to write all this through the eyes of the fictional Patrick Bateman.
But then I remember your 5 rules here and you’re just that affable H.G. we’ve all come to love!!
Thanks HG
This one helps a lot… for me, it’s been the constant social media tirade of incredibly nasty and vicious personal insults which have stopped me totally disconnecting. The effect on self esteem has been nuclear so to be reassured it’s probably just manufactured malice & I’m not really all these things I’m now convinced I am, does help. x
Do you never tell the truth?
I often tell the truth.
Good to know that he really didn’t mean those nasty things he sad. Unfortunately, I meant all the ones I said. HG, you have the best pictures to accompany your posts. This one is particularly cheeky 🙂
HG,
If you want negative attention, why don’t you hook up with a dominatrix? Okay I’ll be your girlfriend and berate, belittle and beat the shit out of you for free. It’s a win/win.
Ah but that would only work if there was genuine emotion behind it. I am far more content with doing the domination and your cries for me to stop which are laden with emotion, or calling me bad names as I spank you to heaven, would be far better for me in terms of gathering fuel. I would draw out the negative emotions from my domination of you. It might work if I have devalued you and your domination of me is fuelled by upset, anger and hatred, but if it part of role-playing, the emotion is not genuine to give me the negative fuel.
That picture always cracks me up. That’s not really you, HG. You know it isn’t. Not on here anyway.