Get Your Revenge
Most attempts at obtaining revenge over the narcissist fail or are petty in nature.
Now you can read how to pursue the ultimate aim and secure true revenge.
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37 thoughts on “Get Your Revenge”
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HG, thanks. I’m sorry I was unclear. I try to protect Zoe My terms were a bit off since my first language isn’t English. I got help wording this time. Zoe’s dangerous to Narc because she brings criminals and abusers into justice and helps victims. She has lots of training and resources. Narc hasn’t directly contacted Zoe since she said she’s up the duff, knows what he’s up to, and Not-to-Contact. Narc’s methods trying to reach Zoe via others online do contravene the law. And anger us. No one even told Zoe he’s done these things, so he’s ineffective. Narc’s identity relies on the image of good dad and family man. Wouldn’t he try to restore control over Zoe and show that he’ll do right by her and baby?
Does inteligence correlate to type of narcisist? He’s smart and high functioning. With Zoe’s job its surprise he decieved her at all. He manuevered patrons and workers at a gastropub where they met. Everyone thought he’s single but he isn’t. Narc kept very different and separated lives for a long time in the same Urban Zone, within 15 kms. Does Long term survival ever kick-in? Even in terms of fuel, I don’t understand why Narc took big risks with low return in short time. A woman like Zoe would generaly deter anyone whose up to no good. Would the search for feul overide that? Wouldn’t another woman be equivalent for fuel? I thought of fuel like sex. Many women are attractive and I’d pick the one who’d be the least pain in the ass. Not who’d definitely be trouble. Thanks for your insight.
Hello AJ,
Yes, intelligence and the level of cognitive function have an applicability to the school of narcissism that the particular narcissist belongs to. It might be that he has either mis-gauged how difficult she would be or that he regards the potential resistance she will put up against him as worth challenging in order to gain the fuel thereafter. Some of our kind prefer to stick to low hanging fruit, others only do this when needs must and others will take on challenging victims for the fuel reward.
I’ve got questions. I’m sorry if you’ve covered them other places. This is new to me and I need to understand a situation. The Narc is a genius, attractive, athletic, great career. He picked a very unsafe target who’s had no contact for 2 months. She’s barely online and doesn’t know he’s trying to mess with her that way. The Narc knows he’s under active investigation for something else, so his unlawful online actions are even riskier. This doesn’t make sense. He’s taking a lot of risk and isn’t even reaching the victim. What kind of survival instincts do Narcs have? Like, why pick an unsafe target? Why do things that jeopardize the Narc’s career and freedom? What’s he trying to accomplish? Thanks!
Hello AJ by all means ask away this is what I am here for. can you expand on what you mean by an unsafe target? Do you mean one which poses a risk to the abuser in that by contacting this victim (or trying to) he runs the risk of contravening the law? Or is it something else?
I would make the point that the demand for fuel is so great that with those of our kind whose cognitive function is lower, many risks will be run in order to gain that fuel. Ally that with the sense of entitlement that we have, our belief in being unaccountable and you will begin to see why such risks are taken.
I have some questions. Do Narcs think about self-preservation? Why would a Narc pick a dangerous target? Like Zoe, an intelligence contractor. Narc was cheating and abusive, and knocked her up. Narc’s been under government surveillance and even his ‘hidden’ online activity is monitored. Zoe’s guys teamed up with them to catch Narc committing cyber crimes. Each online access, the smear campaign and soliciting others to help ups the charges. The people Narc thinks he’s manipulating are really managing him. Since Zoe doesn’t use social media or the clearnet, she doesn’t know what Narc is doing. He works in a tech field, so his career is over. What is Narc hoping to accomplish? Thanks, AJ Craven
Hello AC, excuse the delay in replying, I have been away.
1. A narcissist thinks about fuel. The Lesser is more likely to pursue fuel without evaluating other consequence which may result in an adverse outcome.
2. When you refer to a dangerous target, what do you mean?
3. He is hoping to further his own aims and he is operating in the now with no regard to the future. Most likely a Lower Mid-Range I should think.
Love revenge. My revenge came in the form of words that sent him into a tailspin. My revenge happened when I laughed at something he tried to use to devalue me. All this sweet revenge I was getting and did not know it at the time. I do now. (Thanks HG for teaching me the signs.)
My therapist said I was mean. She knew what I was doing when I did not. She has experience with a Narc herself, 6 years of her life. This might be why she went into the profession she is in. She speaks with authority on this matter.
HG is also correct when he says many do not know what they are and many, even professionals in the mental health care business, do not fully understand the depth of Narcissism. I am very lucky as I have two people I am close with that are well aware of what he is. Also, there is HG’s blog and his books.
Everyone goes through the Narc test in my mind as I interact with them.
Disgusting low life criminal bullies , I’m talking about narcs
You misunderstand the whole thing
Will there be a sequel?
To Revenge? Of sorts yes.
TT,
With the Narcissist there is always a sequel….it’s like Friday the 13th Movies. In your case The Hamburgler from McDonalds continues to showing up.
It is absolutely legitimate to not forgive sometimes , and want revenge . depending on the severity of what’s been done to you. What I want though is JUSTICE!
I had my revenge with Narc1. Got the ring then bailed. Month later he shows up. I say you can have the ring back but first I got to say a few things…I said them. (That was revenge) He said I’m not going to stand here and listen to this…got up walked out, slammed door. I mailed back the ring. He went to jeweler told sales lady that I was killed in a car accident had to return the ring, and asked her out. Because she felt so bad for him she said yes. He ended up sleeping with her….hahaha…funny but he’s still a jackass. And I know now he never cared and my words of spite were just fuel so I guess my revenge was a fuel geyser. I felt better though. Cuz f*$k him. And I was only 19 then…preparation for Narc2 the sequel.
??? I will have to read this but I am not sure why anyone would want revenge on their narc. You are facing two issues with this… #1 It is clear that true NPD is a mental illness like any other so revenge only makes you a bully. #2 Two wrongs do not make a right.
The best type of revenge is moving on… you have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself!
Good of you to defend me there DC but I am not ill, I am just misunderstood.
As to your second point, understandable, but it depends how you define wrong.
People have different aims and I do state in this publication that this form of Revenge (which is what I determine to be the true and ultimate revenge over our kind (no contact isn’t revenge, it is achieving freedom and survival) is not appropriate for everybody and careful thought ought to be given to proceeding, but for some people it is what they want and regard as appropriate. All about different perspectives.
Oh my dear HG, I am not defending you because you are aware of the hurt you cause…you can thank my ex narc for the bit of compassion I have for your kind.
I think revenge is childish and I have better things to do than to kick someone when they are down (or obviously wanting my fuel). As I said before, I will always care for my ex narc I am just not interested in giving up every part of myself for someone who will ultimately destroy who I am.
Wise words 🙂
Except for the mentally ill…. its a spectrum so it depends.
I hear you Nikita, I still feel like it falls under mentally ill. Our brains control every single aspect of our bodies… We breath because our brain says to, our heart beats because it says so, we eat because our brains tell us we are hungry, we cry because our brains tell us to feel sad or happy <– that is where a narcissist fails. Lack of real emotion. I still feel that there is emotion but that is what HG continuously calls fuel. (Ha, I guess that would also be about perspectives) The fact that they cannot really relate to others emotional feelings or how to deal with them (this is usually when they are at their worst) leads me to believe that their brain does not function properly. Brain damage, mental illness, lack of vitamin D…. I don't really know… I'd like to say it is all in their head but really it could just be in ours if that's the case and it's not in mine!
This will by my next read . Your right nikita , but the thought of causing injury to jhm who put my life in a howling wilderness is FUEL for thought 😔😔
😳😳😳
This is one of his best books and a must read! There is critical information about the internal pillars forming a Narcissist’s construct which is incredibly beneficial to know about in dealing with one whether or not you seek revenge.
Thank you Clarece.
I have not read this one… Thinking tomorrow I will cozy up with my kindle and read…. Revenge sounds so sweet. I will let you know what I think❤️
I wasn’t really interested in this one (as I’m not looking to exact any revenge), until I read your comment, mlaclarece. Gonna have to go check it out now.
This book definitely changed and shaped how I responded when I continue to still get hoovered. I wouldn’t say I hatched a Master Revenge Plan, but I definitely have a better grasp on applying responses to truly affect him. He does stay away longer each time. They love to feel like they’re winning all the time. Now I feel like I’m taking that away from him.
Some people get very put off by the word revenge. It doesn’t make you a bad person to indulge in thinking about it. Doesn’t mean you’ll act on it. Sometimes just knowing you have a plan in place is the confidence booster and security blanket you need to start feeling better.
clarence
instead of feeling well on revenge, feel well on thoughts of compassion and love. Helping somebody, connecting with nature.. No such feeling of such plans involving making somebody feel bad, should cross your head.. this to feel free and finding real joy 💖💖
Feeling well on revenge? That is not at all what I said. You are not aware of what my exact experience is. There is nothing I can do that will ever hurt or affect him with what he’s taken from me or the level he hurt me. I am just mentally prepared for him if/when he resurfaces. I have a fighter spirit in me. But I assure you, I’m living my life with my daughter and raising her, getting out more with friends, getting up into Chicago more. That’s just how it is. I’m not a huge nature person, so instructing me to teach someone to connect with nature…mute point.
Again, in my original statement, I think people have a distorted view of the word revenge. I am not sitting in my basement hatching a master plan to destroy him consumed by that and nothing else. I am simply prepared for him. And, HG has written vital information to the formation of the construct in this book, irregardless of someone seeking revenge or not.
Some people get very put off by the word revenge. It doesn’t make you a bad person to indulge in thinking about it. Doesn’t mean you’ll act on it. Sometimes just knowing you have a plan in place is the confidence booster and security blanket you need to start feeling better.
just by the fact of thinking and feeling well on a revenge plan you hurt yourself. you know that with your mind you attract things.. with that thinking you are attracting that you will be able to deplöoy this plan and this brings you satisfaction.. this is what I read behind your words.
But if its not like that then its good.. what you say about daughter and friends.
Have a nice Sunday ☀️
It has not hurt or hindered me. It has empowered me.
Nikitalondon, I understand where you’re coming from wanting to focus on thoughts of compassion and love. We’ve all been hurt. That includes the Ns and no one deserves to be traumatized. I’ve wished before that I could give everyone in the world a flower and a hug in the hope that it would help ease humanity’s collective pain.
But, at the same time, real talk…They hurt us. Some bad, some really bad, some truly horrific. They left us broken and bloody shells of ourselves, in some cases literally. Wanting to strike back after such abuse is a normal human reaction. We’re fully entitled to those thoughts and feelings and yes, even actions staying within the law. Each person will deal with that pain and loss in their own way. As HG has said it’s not for everyone.
Clarece has her head on very straight to be prepared for future confrontation should it arise, and to see the value in learning more about the construct in order to further her understanding of what Ns are. I appreciated her comment because I would seek to do the same. To learn and be prepared, then ultimately move forward.
As she said, it would be a security blanket and confidence boost even if you don’t act on it. Because, when we’re in the chaotic storm of emotion they leave us in, knowing we have something we can do for our own security and protection is very important.
Thank you Lilly! I find it empowering to have my “security blanket” not hurtful in the slightest. It has aided my recovery, not hindered it. As fiercely as I love, I can also fiercely hate and be able to compartmentalize it completely for the source that caused that pain. Just how I’m wired I guess, and no longer care to be made to feel I have “to fix” that part of myself. It’s just me for someone to deal with or not.
Plus, it’s not like H.G.’s book had ideas to get someone in trouble with the law or truly hurt someone.
Let me know what you think after you read the book!
I definitely feel and relate to your pain!
It was very informative and interesting!
I’m still debating if he is midrange cerebral or elite… I suppose it would depend on your definition of “status” since that would be the pillar that’s missing. More often than not, even middle class seems rich to me. Dude has a couple of Master’s degrees, a limited edition vehicle with vanity plates and lives up in a tourist town off family investments, hires landscapers. But he doesn’t do limos and fancy clothes and all that. He is definitely more introverted and “shy,” but the other boxes tick. He went more or less asexual on me and talked (a lot) more than he walked in that arena, but he could be a freak that rocked my world when he chose to. Even only talking/texting, goddamn.. So I could see that as a blend of the cerebral and somatic.
I suppose it doesn’t really matter, I doubt I’ll be looking to get revenge and I wouldn’t feel ready to at this point anyway. I do like some of the tactics of dealing with the N should they come around. Just focusing on factual wrongs they’ve committed, not showing empathy, things like that. I liked the warnings and tips on safety and staying within the law. I also find it really interesting that a Narc’s reaction to being crushed seems very similar to mine as a co-d. Just wanting to hide, “turtle” and retreat into my little shell. Shut out everything and fall into a depressed state. Is this another example of coming from similar roots?
hi Lilly. Both approaches are valid. preparing for revenge and having an arsenal of “defending weapons” ready for the attack… or just let go and ignore and if the person calls back .. not play back.. but for this you have to let go or else yes you will always have to be in sniper position.. doesnt mean you have to shoot.. but you have to remain in this position always..
Yes. Get our revenge. Who do you narcs think you are, Julius Caesar?
Brutus, what are you doing here?