The Super Empath
It is well known that our kind target those who have empathic traits. Just like those of my persuasion operate on a spectrum, those who exhibit empathy do so as well. There are those we might regard as the “normals” those people who have some narcissistic traits and some empathic traits. As ever, when I use the words empathic and empathetic I state them with reference to certain traits such as empathy (clearly), honesty, kindness, decency and such like. I do not use the words in the sense of being in tune with the world and the environment. The normal are in the centre, possibly leaning one way towards my kind or the other way towards your kind. It is extremely rare for a normal to be ensnared as primary source because put simply, they do not cut the mustard. Their emotional responses are not sufficient, their empathic traits whilst evident are not sufficient to either bind to us or provide us with the fuel that we need. Such a person would easily pass a homeless person begging, a person crying alone on a bench or somebody who had fallen off their bike and injured themselves. They are self-absorbed but not the degree that our kind is. They will help if they really have to, but they do not go out of their way to act in a way that causes harm to anybody else.
Thereafter come those who are empaths. Empaths are always targeted as primary sources. They often fulfil secondary roles as well. They are rarer in a tertiary source position since if they are an empath, they would be better suited to either being a primary or secondary source. We would not want those empathic traits to go to waste. The empath has a good range of empathic traits those of honesty, decency, having a strong moral compass and being a good listener, just to list a few of them. They may not have all of the empathic traits that we look for, but they will have several and exhibit them in a concentrated form. Thus this person would look to donate to a charity, hand a wallet in that was found in the street, help a stranger who is in distress, sit and listen to somebody who has problems and acts of a similar nature.
Next comes the Super Empath. This person is not a co-dependent. Both the Super Empath and the co-dependent have many, if not all of the empathic traits that we look for and they have them to a stronger degree than the empath. For example, both might take the homeless person under their wing and take them to a shelter, maybe even house them themselves for a period of time. They would try and locate the person who had lost their wallet in order to hand it back in person rather than say hand it in at a police station first. They will listen to the person with problems and then offer practical solutions to resolve those difficulties. The co-dependent gains validation from such acts through giving and has to do this to an excessive degree even when it goes beyond what is good for themselves, such is their inherent addiction to the act of giving and selflessness. The co-dependent may not actually be that strong an individual (they are in the sense of the abuse that they can soak up) but they are not strong as they have no identity to assert, they must form one through self-flagellation, giving and not taking. They are masochistic in nature, driving themselves to the point of collapse and illness because they lack the strength to escape and the desire to do so from the clutches of our kind. Lesser Narcissists and Mid-Range Narcissists hook up with co-dependents especially because they give, give and give but do not fight back. They challenge themselves, blame themselves and always make excuses for their abuser.
The Super Empath is also a giver but whereas the co-dependent is masochistic in this giving, the Super Empath does so from a position of strength. They hold their ability to empathises, to heal, to fix and impart goodness as a great gift and one which ought not to be abused. They are drawn to our kind less because of the co-dependent’s need to seek validation of identity through a narcissist, but more because they are initially attracted to the apparent emotional output of the narcissist. The false strength which the narcissist exhibits at the outset of the seduction, the confidence, the apparent satisfaction with his self, that he appears comfortable in his own skin, at ease with others, capable of lighting up a room and so forth is a huge attraction to the Super Empath because that person actually sees something of themselves in the narcissist when the narcissist is seducing. That is not to state that the Super Empath is a narcissist. Far from it. But the Super Empath is just as engaging as the narcissist and thus there is a mutual attraction. The Super Empath is also more challenging to the narcissist and therefore is usually the recipient of some Mid-Range narcissists and most often the Greater Narcissist. This is not because the Super Empath is awkward or reticent but rather she will be forthcoming with her empathic traits once she feels that they have been earned. Accordingly, the narcissist much put the extra miles in, in terms of seduction to ensnare the Super Empath. This person needs to be coerced into sharing the fruits of their empathy but once that trust has been earned, once the gate has been unlocked the benefits are huge. The Super Empath shines with empathy, glows with decency and pours forth delicious fuel.
This continues during devaluation. The empath and co-dependent are easier to “break” in terms of causing negative fuel to flow. The Super Empath is made of sterner material and will resist the negative machinations of the narcissist at first. This may result in the narcissist dis-engaging if he does not feel able to impact on the Super Empath and seeking fuel elsewhere. The Greater knows who he has ensnared and knows once again he must unlock the fuel source, this time negative, of the Super Empath and once it is done the tidal wave of fuel is to be enjoyed. The Super Empath will remain, wanting to fix the narcissist, exhibiting again the same empathic traits of others on the empathic spectrum, but again being made of sterner stuff, their descent towards numbness and malfunction is far slower than that of the empath. The Super Empath will keep providing the fuel but deteriorates at a slower rate. The risk factor however with a Super Empath is that their own personal integrity is greater than the empath’s and very much greater than that of the co-dependent and consequently of all these three classes of empath, the Super Empath is the one more likely to make a bid for escape and thus leave the narcissist with a cessation problem.
The challenge of unlocking both positive and negative fuel proves an attraction for the right type of narcissist because this allows him to assert his superiority and enjoy the challenge. The reward is magnificent. Excellent fuel and such that deteriorates at a much slower rate. The downside is the potential for the Super Empath becoming “aware” of what is happening, becoming unwilling to dedicate further energy to staying with the narcissist to fix and to heal and thus escaping. The Super Empath requires fairly careful management by our kind, but the rewards always mean that this person is a challenge which is often accepted.
443 thoughts on “The Super Empath”
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I didn’t know it until 20 years ago, ( I didn’t know it had a name) but I have always been an Empath. Reading your descriptions, I am a SuperEmpath. This description explains how I’ve been able to deal with or put up with several narcissists in my life
I have insignificant Super Empath traits. I think this is simply my ability to cut people I perceive as dangerous off completely. I can’t tell you why or how. Sometimes it clicks on and off like AC unit with a thermostat other times is conscious. It can be triggered by a simple statement from someone, that seems mild in unobtrusive and I’m like “ ok I’ve had enough of you.” And with intimate relationships it doesn’t take me long either but I can be a long suffering one sided friendship for a while. I’ve learned not to let people drifting away not bother me. I just feel life happens, things change and sometimes, you aren’t part of other peoples routine anymore. You want those long lasting friendships and relationships you read about in books but sadly for some of us they just don’t exist.
Hiya, N00b here.
I could never understand why my recent ex was so contradictory (amongst virtuall all other signs of a Mid Range or possibly Lesser Narcissist until I read your site.
I used to think his emotionally and sometimes physically abusive childhood (alcoholic dad plus school bullying) had resulted in Antisocial Behaviour Disorder and/OR ADHD. His bro is a heroin addict.
My mother and father were emotionally absent, and I was diagnosed with Explosive Personality Disorder as a child. I now think this was what you call going Supernova! I think I showed a lot of Narc traits as a child as a defence to my emotions never feeling validated or even recognised. I feel intense shame for how I often behaved selfishly.
Q: Could Mid Range or Lesser Narcissists instead be trauma fuelled ADHD or Antisocial Personality Disorder, as they appear to have identical behaviours?
Q: His behaviours changed after his parents and brother became very ill all within a year, I pointed out he had changed and maybe the trauma was causing depression, I offered 100% support, yet he withdrew completely. Yet any contact he begins is always involving me having to praise him somehow, usually through insulting himself and knowing I will counter it.
I recall asking him during the early days why he loved me, and was perturbed a bit when he couldn’t answer. In the following year the answers were all about my physical appearance, or sexual compatibility. He also still says he will love me forever, and I’m the only one ever to actually get him….he messages me randomly could be a week/month, asking how I am, and tells me to stay in touch, or call him. He stopped answering his phone over a year ago and I pointed that out!
His family is visibly dysfunctional, yet so were mine in a virtually opposite way.
I think I ask this because I’m worried about mislabelling him (and myself!) and his behaviours as he was never outwardly spiteful/violent to me (he was to others in childhood and teens/20s), and I believe he does feel actual positive emotion, although I of course, could be wrong. I definitely had love-bombing and most of the expected stock phrases to begin with, then all his family got ill. Is it just that? Or could it have triggered hidden Narcissism?
My head’s spinning. Sorry for the ramble!
Thx in advance for your site. I’m looking at people very differently now, which is a shame really.
Does the super empath generally have high self esteem ?
Until they meet us.
Believe me – even after that
Hello HG, I am French and I discovered your blog in 2018/2019 and your books too. I had posted comments on your blog posts here. You had helped me and I thank you for that.
I am writing now to tell you that I saw a Frenchman who is a salesman and
he makes YouTube videos on narcs:
he has taken and takes all your blog texts and makes believe that all your texts are from him !!
I know all your blog texts and I quickly understood that he plagiarized your texts and I wanted to tell you because he does not quote you and makes money and makes believe to people that it is from him !
The majority of his YouTube videos where he speaks are your blog posts here. I confirmed it to you.
The YouTube channel of this salesman who plagiarized your texts on narc is “Antoine Peytavin coaching”.
These are your texts you should denounce plagiarism at YouTube And you will see it for yourself !
I preferred to let you know it because you helped me and I am afraid that you won’t see it by yourself because he is french.
Portes
Hello Portes, thank you for bringing this to my attention. Please email me at narcissist1909@gmail.com as I wish to discuss this with you further.
My self esteem is better than it has ever been after dealing with a Narc. My Super Nova moment solved any doubts I may have had about my own self worth.
Rhia, it is comforting to read your comment and sharing that your self-esteem has improved. Mine too 🙂
Hello to everyone and H.G.,
how do I get to know “what” I am? Had my Ex and me tested via psycholgical online survey – it came out that he scored very high in ASPD, Narcissism and OCD. I had high scores in Dependent-Avoidant Personality, Bpd-Traits and Schizoid Adaptions. Am I an Empath? How do I know, what kind of? We had the longest relationship in our lives with each other (longer than 10 years) – no other woman was able to be with him for longer than a few months. But now, after so many years and emotional injuries, I am sucked dry – underweight, adrenal fatigue, panic attacks, malnourished, heartbroken, cut off from my family&friends, brain fog, neuralgia, sad… he went to be with his new woman and her child&dogs – playing good daddy and inbetween partying hard (alcoholic & amphetamine-addicted) – instead of caring for his own kids who miss him so much, crying their eyes out and feeling unloved and left-behind. He broke all his promises. We fight for seven years now, it sounds really stupid but I never lost hope that he will be like before, during the good times. It’s my fault, I guess.
If I try to talk to him about his behaviour, he places the blame upon me or my family (that he hated from the beginning) – he accepts no responsibility, in no way! He lives his life like he wants to, no authority has to tell him anything! Also his children have to accept that he just has time to visit when he wants to. If they miss him, have birthday or are in the hospital, it is in no way a reason to come and visit them. Everyone else is to blame but him. I am so fed up but still loving him.
For years I took his blame upon me and nearly vanished, got deep into Anorexia N. but had to stay strong for the kids. Feelings are the weapons he placed against me – he has nearly none, I guess. But I have nightmares in wich he pins my thorax with endless very long/sharp nails and needles so I can’t move and breathe because If I do, they will pierce my lungs and i will die. That pretty little subconscious mind is working hard in these times.
Thank you for reading my complaints.
So is there a way to find out if I’m an empath and which type of?
Hello Caro, there is, use this https://narcsite.com/empath-detector/
Thanks for the link, H.G.!
This test sounds very interesting.
I just have to create a Paypal account first. (Or is there another way of payment?)
Also I am a little bit afraid of not passing this test correctly because English is not my mother tongue – but I will do my best.
Either way, this is a very very eye-opening blog!
Thank you for being so open and giving so much information in detail!
You are welcome.
Hello Caro
Welcome to the blog.
Hello K,
thank you for welcoming me!
My pleasure Caro!
If you haven’t already done so, checkout Formal Info on the top right. There’s a lot of helpful information located there re: the blog.
Caro
That is HORRIFIC that you’ve lived this way for so long.
My heart bleeds for you and your precious children.
Ok, you’ve made the right step. My advice is this.
Do the NDC first.
Then the EDC
Then speak to Hg to ask questions on both.
It will all tumble into place. I promise you.
It’s not going to be easy. It will be better than living the life you are right now.
Well done on being strong for your children. That is so brave.
The ‘love’ concept that you are experiencing has to be tackled head on. I recommend ‘Fuel’. It will help.
Keep on posting.
Hello Renarde,
thank you for your comment and understanding!
Yes, the past years have been very stressful but I always feel that I have not done enough. It could have been better if I was not so weak – finding relief of all the pain in “my old eating disorder” and being a very bad rolemodel to my children – allowing the ex in our life again and again… the old game, I guess.
My fuel seems to be so good, he always came back – telling me that he is hooked at me, too. Because I know every inch of his soul, all of his inner being. No one knows him like I do, he said – knowing each other for 20years (we are in our 30’s now). Not even his male friends. It is a dark and empty world where a little lost boy lives in endless pain. I have seen the boy and the “demonic eyes”. The shifting. This “demon” is just annoying – I love this little boy’s soul and always wanted to care for him. After our children were born it became difficult, the kids needed me, too. Sometimes it felt like having three kids and no partner.
However, if the internal pain is too strong there is a need to compensate – now I am not as hard on myself than a few years ago – it is just a human trait reacting a bit over the top after being hurt. The emotional pain went somatic and several nerves in the jaw and teeth died. Had several fainting attacks and extremely low blood-sugar for years. (I am so dumb because my ex insisted that I should stop eating carbs/sugar because it would make me fat/wobbly although he is the one who eats a lot of junk and is overweight since we got our first child, not me.) Silly me.
Ok, you gave tips what to do now – this is good. The empath test will be done but what is the other one you mentioned? NDC?
The book is on my list, would you recommend another one of those books by H.G. for a better understanding?
And what will be the best to help my children cutting those emotional cords they have with him? The small one once said: “Without my daddy i do not want to live anymore.” It is extremely heartbreaking because she is a very sensitive/empathetic person and hooked like me. She wants to be there and care for him but she is a little child and not his mother! HE should care for her, not the other way around. It is so twisted. The older one can handle it way better.
Sorry, I went on rambling and wrote too much. I usually do not talk a lot about all this to other people in real life – the feelings of shame and guilt are too strong.
Anyways, thanks for welcoming me – this blog seems to be a nice place of information and connecting with others.
Caro:
Your kids need you MORE. You can’t do anything for the little boy your husband used to be, but your kids still have a chance.
NDC is narc detector consult–tells you if your ex is a Narc, and if so, what kind. Different narcs need different strategies.
HG has items that specifically deal with helping kids with breakups.
If you can’t afford any of these, ask about Angel Assistance. You can pay it forward when you’re in better circumstances: I’ve been helped (more with recent work narc situations, though I had my heart chewed up by narcs in the past), and when my circumstances improve, I’ll pay it forward.
We’ve all been there. Don’t worry about long posts: say what you have to say, and if HG wants to trim it, he will. He’s been known to edit if you accidentally leave in identifying information. You are safe here.
Caro, I am so so sorry you went through all that. It’s gut wrenching to read. But I am so glad you found this place because you’re pointed in the right direction. The EDC is really helpful in understanding yourself, and that’s what you really need to do right now so you avoid letting him back in or letting another one in later. And read, read, read this blog and/or listen to the videos on YT. Now is the time to take time out for YOU and focus on your needs and regain your strength. A consultation with HG would be well worth it for you too. I hope to see you on here often and don’t worry about writing ‘too much’. A lot of people here have been there in some form or fashion and just want to help you get through it too. *hugs. Welcome.
Caro
First thing, never apologise for a long post. You are fully entitled to say what you wish. And how you wish. Personally, I enjoy detail.
The second is the horrific situation you describe with your daughter. There is a lot of talk on here about Shield Maiden. In point of fact, mothers that have to protect their children from narc fathers are ALL shield maidens. I certainly am. I’m very proud of that.
I have had to deliberately hide my exs abuse of me because to tell them the truth would in itself be abuse. Therefore, I’m colluding in my own abuse which I assert, he should be in gaol for.
This is motherhood. You have to get on top of it or it will pull you down. Think of it like putting the oxygen mask on you first. I know how hard this is.
As to your daughter, and this is only my opinion, she is too young to understand the full truth. I think what is permissible however is to say, ‘Daddy hurt Mummy’.
Children do deserve to know the truth. They are far more resilient than adults percieve. When she becomes distressed, hold her, comfort her but never lie. Never.
Yours is a very distressing situation. With time, she will see and her heart will break. As it did with mine and my own father.
Just be there, to support her. Neither you or your daughter ever asked for this. I recommend Hgs Child Defender.
I do hope this helps.
@Renarde hey there, I take it you did the Trait Detector? I have a ton of questions about it, such as what does it mean when I scored in every single category on both narcissist and empath or what does having all my percentages pretty evenly placed across the board on both sides mean? Things like that. Where can I get answers? TIA
I will provide you with further answers if you need to understand more about what this means.
cadavera666
You need to consult with Hg. He is the man in the know but I’m incredibly flattered you have asked me.
Keep well.
Caro, welcome to the blog !
I am so sorry for what you are going through. You are now in the right place to find accurate information that will help you start to feel better 🙂 The link that HG posted is for the Empath Detector Consultation. It will not only answer your question as to whether or not you are an empath but it will also detail exactly what kind of empath you are.
There is then additional information available on the blog and also on HG’s youtube channel which goes into greater detail about each type ( school and cadre) of empath.
Once you understand yourself better, you can overlay that information onto the numerous articles that are posted for free every day here on the blog. The Empath Detector consultation adds context and in my experience really increased my understanding of each article posted.
I’m glad you found your way here Caro.
Hello truthseeker6157!
Thanks for welcoming me and for the hint with the youtube channel.
I looked into it and must say, that it helps a lot understanding all this topic. Also the voice of H.G. is very familiar and soothing. Very strange.
Has he ever been speaking somewhere else like in documentaries, movies, TV or audiobooks?
I did not know that there are different types of empaths – could it be the test reveals that one is not an empath but just co-dependant?
Hello Caro
A co dependent is a type of empath. There are 4 schools of empath. Standard, Co Dependent, Super or Contagion. So, without spoiling it for you, you could be a narcissist, a normal, or an empath ( fitting into or amongst the four schools above).
The Empath Detector will tell you exactly where you fit. It will also tell you your cadre, of which there are also several. For me, it was the cadre that was most instructive in showing me why I react to things in the way I do. Different cadres emphasise different traits and therefore have different overall approaches. All are empaths but all are slightly different in approach. ( I have a feeling HG might explain this better)
It is worth remembering that we are all individuals and many here are empaths, but understanding both school and cadre can enable you to better appreciate your strengths of which you will have many and help you recognise your weaker spots too. Once you understand these more fully, you are better armed to recognise, deal with and escape the narcissist. Equally importantly, you will be better able to avoid finding yourself in the same position again in the future.
There is so much to say! In short, the Empath Detector Consultation is a great place to start. Read as much as you can on the blog. Ask questions whenever you need to. We are all learning and at varying stages of escape. Discussing our views is encouraged here and adds hugely to our own understanding.
HG, ensures that the information you receive is accurate also. So you will see reader experiences and opinions but you will also see HG correct or add to comments if we misunderstand. It’s a great way to learn. I am sure you find this blog helpful Caro.
As for HG’s voice, well it is quite nice isn’t it? I believe I recognise it too but haven’t quite put my finger on it yet. I will though 😉
Apparently, he’s done some voiceover work. Yeah, his voice is a definite plus!
Hello Caro
Welcome to the blog!
Hello Caro,
Thank you for sharing your story. You are absolutely in the best place here to start making sense of it all, and to get better. Do take the Empath Detector, to start with.
So glad you found your way here.
This article is a very useful concise description of what creates the attraction and what doesn’t. I like the placing of narcissists and empaths on a spectrum and everything else in between. I was pretty sure from the beginning of my reading this blog a little less than a month ago that I would be a normal, and the description of normals and how narcs don’t choose them as primary sources here fits me and my experiences perfectly. I think I’ve been secondary source though for narcs – a few in work collaboration, the awful therapist (we had quite intense interactions and I also saw him in a class that he taught for a while), and had a short secret affair with a colleague once that I would quite confidently put in the NPD zone (ended it very quickly when that started to show). I think the ways normals (not just me but others I know) behave, whether we are more narcissistic or empathic is primarily dependent upon the specific situations, circumstances, people we interact with, and own mental health as well. It’s quite fluid, not “traits” in the solid sense a narc has narc traits and an empath has empathic traits by default personality.
I know that the majority of commenters on this blog are empaths and don’t want to misuse the thread but just curious: are there others here that consider themselves normal but have been in a primary intimate relationship with a narcissist? The majority of my relationships were with other normals, I believe. It doesn’t mean of course that they were without problems or that they lasted long (I don’t tend to last very long in close intimate relationships myself) but in terms of what we are discussing here, I think it’s a fair diagnosis. What’s interesting is that I do find myself drawn to narcissistic colleagues (from the higher ranks) when it comes to work, for a few specific reasons related to ambition and productivity, but definitely not romantically. The one affair I had with the narc was during a time when I was probably the most fucked up mentally in my whole life and heavily struggling with an addiction. No intact judgment. I also chose the narc therapist during that time, I know that would have not happened before/after. I definitely didn’t have more empathic features while that messed up, it was more that I was drawn to intensity and other extremes, my personal boundaries were also very chaotic (normally not the case).
You aren’t misusing this thread/site by identifying as normal. Interesting you identify an affair with a narcissist—HG has said that in an affair there is typically a narcissist.
Thanks Lorelei. I had a few affairs with people I would not regard as narcissists also, including two long-term (>5 years) secret relationships (secret on the partners’ side, I had no reason to hide them other than they asked me) that were pretty extensive and deep – not sure “affair” would be appropriate qualifier for those though, only in a sense that it was secretive on one side. But they were mutually very involved, honest and open, one of them also addictive in unhealthy ways, but very equal and respectful generally. I should add that I am not a monogamous person by nature and do not expect exclusivity from partners either, so that didn’t bother me much at that time. Things have changed quite a lot since then and now I would not engage with anyone who wants to keep me a secret but it was not a problem in my youth, mostly because I have strong avoidant streaks that had kept me from traditional relationships effectively and the lower expectations from those partner suited me at the time. That’s something I have been working on a lot in the past decade and part of the result is that I now refuse any form of secrecy. When I say “affair”, I usually mean something superficial and the one narc was definitely that.
Back to the types of people, one thing I enjoy in this blog right now is seeing so many empaths interact. That is not usually the case in my real world (not in this concentration), in part because I tend to meet the most people via my own interests or work and those are not ones that typically draw in many highly empathic people due to the nature of those interests. But one of my goals is to improve my own empathic skills, so I like to see it from those who have them naturally. One of my best long-term friends is also definitely an empath and I like that in him very much but we discussed extensively how we would not make a good romantic pairing in spite of finding each-other attractive in several ways – too many differences in expectations and values in that area. So I can also see how empaths would be drawn to narcs also over normals in intense romantic relationships.
It’s interesting dorion how so many Es are interacting. I would say 90% of my friendship base is now empaths with one normal and the rest empathic but not empaths compared to around 48% Es to 48% Ns before. Well my maths isn’t to great but anyway I’m sure you get the picture I had a massive cull. The current friendship groups are largely one or two empaths in each separate group. It would be so cool if we were all one large group! I know HG advises against us meeting up and he is right to do so I would never do that but if we were all friends in RL it would be the best I’m sure. On a level no one else could get.
Spot on correct. This is me. You’re good.
HG, Sone time ago I read something from your work that detailed what a “super nova empath” is. I cant seem to find the article now. Could you possibly post a link for me? Thank you
Search for empathic supernova. It’s an event not a type of Empath.
I am Defenidly an Geyser empath and co dependent and a super empath…
I feel indentified with all of them. 🥴🤷🏼♀️😉✨✨✨💖
I met a guy at the club, he said that evening that I look like a sensitive but strong woman, interesting insights for a guy at the club, I sensed Narcissus right away, but I played with him until the end of the evening and then ignored him, my ex-narcissus probably counted thinking that I will follow him
Thank you for this. I didn’t know I was a super empath until now. I knew I had extremely high empathy, and I know I am strong. I thought I might be codependent, but I’m not. I figured out my narcissist’s game one week in, yet stayed a year. I’ve been a tough one to break because the entire time I’ve been with him, I feel like I’ve been equal parts sucked in and suspicious. I feel like he finds my strength and nouse a challenge. He is always commenting on how strong I am. I was so very attracted to his supposed strength and energy at first. He felt like a kindred soul. Why is that? Even though he is bad and bad for me, I still relate to him so very much. Like he’s chosen the dark path and I’ve chosen the light one. But in so many ways we are very alike. I can’t tolerate his abuse any longer now. He doesn’t know I went cold turkey NC with my narc mother for 5 years. I will do it with him too.
It is the effect of your emotional thinking seizing on your empathic and narcissistic traits in order to keep you engaging with the narcissist.
Feels eerily similar to my narc relationship. I guess that’s why even after we leave them it’s so difficult to accept and we want to thing the best of someone we invested our heart and souls to 😢
My situation exactly. I’ve known about my NPD almost from the beginning, and knew if his pathological lying and serial cheating, yet continued to make myself insane with my truth seeking behaviors. Even now, I have blocked him over and over, yet can’t make it stick. Can’t keep NO CONTACT. Its ruining my chances of starting anything new as he tracks and digs and hunts after anyone who I bring into my life. There are many times when I feel my behavior has become a mirror image of his.
I did this to the narc and I didn’t even know it. I mean I knew that I was acting in ways that I never do but I didn’t know that I was just protecting myself from the abuse. Thank you!
Where has your pilot pic gone HG?
Flown away
Still waiting for your Lost Boy book. Any idea on completion date? Despite all you have been through as a child you have soared in life becoming a pilot.
Again thanks for being a major input in my recovery. Life feels much better. The main thing is that I did not love myself. Funny that, a bit like Narcs also but we penalise ourselves while Narcs lie with pretend grandiose.
No publication date as yet. It will be advertised once it is completed.
You are welcome, I am pleased to see that you are moving forward.
I know.
And thanks for the reply, HG
HG, do SEs move on quickly from a narcissistic relationship without the emotional damage that other empaths experience? I’ve read a few comments that imply they remain unscathed and rapidly move on with minimal negative effects on their lives.
Sometimes they may be unscathed, other times there is damage, the important factor is that they respond at an earlier juncture than other empaths but even that is not early enough.
“They respond at an earlier juncture than other empaths” Respond to what earlier?
The manipulations.
“…but even that is not early enough.” That is a trait of the Super Dee Duper Empath. A new school, HG? Surely there’s an Ultra Empath out there in the world somewh…Ohhhhh! Now I see what this whole worldwide search is about!! Just kidding. Building legacy, kicking ass, taking names. Brilliant HG, brilliant.
I think he means it’s not early enough to save them from the inevitable negative dynamics of a relationship with a narcissist, not a new SE super power. HG, correct me if I’m wrong.
You are correct.
You forgot “hunting things…”
Hey Wendy. Your words have prompted a bit of thinking. (I’m a SEM).
If other SE’s are reporting that they are unscathed or it appears as if they are, I do not believe that is a true reflection of what is happening internally.
I believe, in fact I now firmly believe that one of the reasons that an SE is so valued is because of how they disassociate from trauma. All Emps will disassociate and suffer PTSD if the trauma is large enough. An SE disassociates in a different way. Their own narc traits it appears as if all is good.
This then fools society. It’s insidious.
However, I am very very pleased to report that once you stop dissociating and get a firm handle on the original trauma/s, well then the magic happens! You are finally, aware. Brilliant! I will never be utterly aware. I will always have blind spots. At least I have a hazy impression of where roughly they are.
You need an asterisk next to the SEM, Renarde.
Oh Why? I’m confused?
Self-assessed.
Ahh.
Sorry. Do you mean I’m not a SE? Or a magnet?
I meant you assessed yourself, I did not.
I would agree on the magnet part. In our first consultation, I asked you what I was at the end. Based on my interaction in that hour.
Am I misunderstanding something?
It was an interim observation based on early interaction and the EDC is the appropriate forum with regard to a complete assessment, Renarde.
Renarde, were you surprised to find that you weren’t a Super Empath/Magnet on your EDC?
Wendy
Good question. By the time I was about to take the EDC, I was pretty sure I wasnt a SE for the simple fact I dont think a SE would gave allowed themselves to have got into the position I am in.
I was suprised on magnet not featuring more strongly though. As for the last 5 years Ive not been able to move let alone breathe for narcs.
What is the main goal of the narcissist. Like once they unlock the fuel what do they get from it?
Control.
The Prime Aims.
Fuel provides power. Do read the book ‘Fuel’.
It’s not emotional validation? Will definitely have to read it. Bc I want to know what fuel represents?
Emotional output occasioned by the Narcissist
Gotcha. And any emotional response gives the narcissist validation bc it makes them feel like they Exist and matter in this world right. Why isnt the narcissist able to grow up and learn healthy ways to deal w their traumas?
I am so grateful for all your information, thank you HD for bringing this to the world.
I have only just in the last year learned about narcissists, and spent the year binge watching & learning all I can, and healing, which is extensive as I realize the majority of people in my life have been narcissists or had high narc traits. I have just found and listened to several of your videos as well and hearing this from a true narcissist is helpful on even deeper levels.
I have known I am an empath for decades and have learned all I can about that as well, and yet this is more new information I didn’t know! Fascinating and again so helpful.
What I really want to know, a burning question that has been coming up for me as I learn about narcissists, and now from you as one who is conscious of who you are, is this:
From what I understand, narcissists do not feel love or joy, or other positive emotions that we do. I am wondering, do you or have you ever felt curious about those feelings, as in you’d like to experience them or know what they are like? Do you ever have the feeling that you wish you could experience what we do, or feel that is a missing experience from your life? Also, do you believe that if you were able to heal, that you would then be able to experience these things?
That is likely the healer in me wanting to know lol. Though I also understand most do not believe narcissits can heal, I am still curious about that possibility or why that is.
You are welcome and I am pleased my work has assisted.
I have an intellectual curiosity about those emotions but have no actual need to experience them because I am fashioned differently, I do not need them.
Interesting, good to know!
I think we are used as reciprocles to asorb the emotions of the narcissist. We sponge as you drain. It helps you stay empty.
I am what you refer to as a Super Empath. However I was not aware of this until recently after my first experience with a Narcissist . I have learned a lot about your kind as well as myself from my experience. I suppose I was one of “the lucky ones” .
Most of the knowledge gained has been through this website and corresponding YouTube videos. Thank you so much for your time and have work.
I must ask you though, how is it, you being a Narcissist yourself, that you’ve gotten to the state of self awareness that you have? And what propmpted you to begin writing and sharing these secrets. It seems counterproductive for a Narcissist to do such.
1. A combination of intelligence, ability and the gaining of information.
2. I wanted to create a legacy and also correct the many misunderstandings about our kind.
How is counterproductive? It will never stop me succeeding at what I do and getting what I need. Ono the contrary, it provides me with a platform from which to exercise skills I have, to create a legacy and to entertain myself weaponising empaths.
Oh HG you have truly achieved that.
You have no idea how armed and dangerous I am now. There are so very many stories which I will one day share with you.
Amazing, my only advice to others would be to keep reading.
I have handled situations at work, with my family and ‘friends’ in a way which I never could have before.
Met, matched them and much more without being counter productive to myself.
A whole hearted thank you. Without letting you have a piece of it of course.
Happy festive period HG. Hope you are being nice to people. How is things with you and the Drs coming along?
To you also. I’m more pleasant than Mount Pleasant on a pleasant day with carefree, innocent children frolicking upon its slopes. Swimmingly, thank you.
Is it a legacy if no one ties it to you?
Innocent children. You said it. We were all there once and look what happened to us. Hope they are being parented much better. Enjoy skiing, you lucky man.
Please note: My reply button said Reply to SuperEmpath however my comment isnt underneath theirs as a reply. I’m only saying this in case it confuses anybody as it is out of sync with the thread.
It is probably due to the reply date being so long after the initial comment by SE was made.
I am not on the blog as often and I have only just seen the comment and replied.
Best regards to all as always.
🐾
Just seen this.
Ah. Contradictions and misrepresentation.
No one can say they are the brightest that God has to offer and say “oh you’ve met the brightest”
The brightest ones are full of the holy spirit. The spirit is not present where there is profanity. The tongue which is holy does not speak in an unholy way. It causes offence to the spirit and He leaves. Nor does the brightest of God exhibit such a lack of humility and boastful pride.
I have specks in my eye and a sinner. Yet I know the brightest of God never state they are.
They dont have to.
They are seen by their light alone.
Not by words that play out stating how God is angry. You nor I speak for Gods mood.
God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow. He so loved the world He sent His only Son who died for us.
He spoke not of anger in the Father.
What He did though was instigate many teachers who led through His works of peace.
And we may read of these works in The Bible.
And know the love of God.
Vengeance is mine saith the Lord.
We can concentrate on our own salvation with fear and trembling which is with great humility and respect.
Not everyone believes in God.
Fair enough.
That is not the point here.
You are a true vampire in present time. Your cruel coldheartedness is a freightening reality of what is out there. There are very few things I fear. You are a great & new found fear capable of complete ruin.
Credit where credit is due. A narcissist is merely a person who adapted to childhood abuse and is doomed to seek emotional validation their entire lives. They are broken.
Most of us found a different adaptation to similar circumstances. Our adaptation to lousy childhoods was to be so damn good, that we got praise that way. We are also broken. Our naïveté left the door wide open for narcissists.
The above two paragraphs are exactly why it is so perfect to start with. We are both perfect fits for the other’s problems. Two broken toys trying to fix one another.
You can take the hard road, face some hard truths, cry a river of tears and fix yourself. A narcissist doesn’t have that option. They are stuck.
Fantastic reply Sean. I know you say narcassists cannot change but maybe HG could enlighten us as to how he is progressing with his Drs. I know charities that work with perpetrators in hope that they can recognise their wrongs.
Like you I am recovered but it was a hard road and I never actually knew I too was broken. Happy life. No more abuse.
HG can you share anything about your DRs update? Even how you are finding it. Also how is the book proceeding?
Hi HG!
1. So, is the codependent an empath as well then?
(I hear that an empath can be a codependent, too. But I know codependents who don’t feel the emotions of others … or maybe they do and they aren’t aware of it because they aren’t aware of their own feelings.)
2. For the super empath, does the super empath feel somebody’s emotions more strongly than the empath and codependent?
(I know an empath or codependent empath and she doesn’t feel the emotions of others but I do and as per our consultation, I am a super empath and I can feel the emotions of others pretty strongly.)
1. Yes.
2. No.
Thank you, HG!
1.) yes
2.)YES.. Super Empath not only feel emotions we sometimes receive clear waves of energy loaded with intentions. We have dreams and so much more. (IT DEPENDS ON YOU) But the best part is the natural ability to see feel & hear the lies. Also, we are able to mirror their behavior back to them (usually towards the end) This is prior to going Full narc on them. Because no matter how smart they are or think they are… they talk too much. Most of what i learned came from the narc himself. So just like they study us We being intuitive are studying them but we don’t reveal what we’ve learned unless pushed too far. At which time it’s usually too late. Super Empaths are a Narc worse nightmare. Because we have narc tendencies wrapped in lots of true heart felt Empathy. But don’t flip that switch… turning off our give a darn. Then there is no stopping us… We Are then a reflection of the Narc armed with everything we’ve learned about them and no empathy for them until we’re done. (then we’re really sorry) But that’s too little too late for them.
ALL OF YOU READING THIS NEED TO KNOW HIS MOTIVE IS ABOUT HIM. NOT HELPING YOU AT ALL. AND HE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT US EXCEPT WHAT HE’S READING & LEARNING SO THAT HE COULD BE A BETTER NARC. SO STOP FALLING FOR HIS NARRATIVE WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE BUT THE WORDS OF AN ADMITTED COMPULSIVE LIAR
No offense HG But I’m sure some was taken
None at all, I was more amused than offended. After all not only are you incorrect you are incorrect in capitals! You are of course entitled to your opinion, ill-founded as it is. My work and the vast majority of comments, testimonials and thanks speak for themselves.
LMBO! in Caps… lol
Your work… you actually call it work. While I call it manipulation at it best. It’s your page so if all of these recovering Narc victims of other various versions of you actually believe that you have their best interest in mind when the very essences of who you are is incapable of empathy or doing anything that is not self serving then so be it. Everything you do is calculated. And this page has accumulated a large supply for you to choose from at your leisure.
By the way, The fact that you took a noticeable dig at my using all caps to separate one statement from the other knowing that’s all it was about shows the truth to all who needed to see it.(you were not amused at all) So I’m thankful and satisfied with that.
How can you even suggest that a person who is mentally & emotionally unable to FEEL anything can actually know more about someone who has been blessed with so much empathy that they feel too much.. That perplexes my common sense. But Ok.
I came on here to see the workings of a Narc in action. Not to learn anything from him. He can’t teach me because he is limited in his on ability to grow & learn outside of himself. I respect your perspective on this. However, There are numerous videos now on Youtube by those who have experienced it as well as therapist trained to help you. All for free. So please be careful with this one since you have openly admitted to trusting yet another Narc.
2 OF THE RESPONSES TO MY POST FEEL LIKE THEY ARE FROM YOU. TOO MUCH IN DEFENSE OF THE NARC FOR SUCH A SMALL STATEMENT THAT ONLY SUGGESTED PEOPLE BEWARE AND NOT FORGET WHO THEY ARE OPENING UP TO. BUT AGAIN THAT’S JUST ME. to each their own CARRY ON… for saying I remind him of his sister telling him what to do. LMBO!
Gina,
My Narc sister often writes in capitals: I had read that this was indicative of attempt to demand and control. And, we are all woke here so save the warnings for Bambi. If, your intentions are well-meaning, telling me what to do ain’t gonna work. Remember the old adage…it takes one to know one. Do you, I don’t like to be ordered around and it is not HG doing it.
Gina
HG knows more about how we (empaths, CoDs, apaths, NPD and ASPD) behave than we do ourselves and he has been open and honest about why he runs the blog and, irrespective of his motives, he has helped me tremendously.
Correct and thank you, K.
My pleasure, HG!
Gina. I don’t care what HGs motive is. My ex reached out 4 days ago and I maintained NC. It would have been so easy to break it, and I didn’t. We have been broken up for more than a decade. I’m not an empath, super or otherwise. I’m not an apath either. I’m just a person who broke free from an abusive relationship with someone who has strong narcissistic traits, and could possibly have NPD. I’m forever thankful to HG.
HG. Thank you again and again.
Yu are welcome 1jaded1.
I have to pipe in here, and please allow me to clarify in advance, I in no way am defending narcissistic behavior. Personally (as a survivor of severe narcissistic abuse) I stumbled upon HG’s work. Granted, the dude’s creepy, and his voice is even creepier! I have to say that in all my years of “self guided study” of narcissism, HG Tudor, was the one who really woke me up. His skin crawling descriptions of the disordered mind of a narcissist, have me a much needed slap in the face. It straight pissed me off to finally realize the motivation behind it all, the downright dirty to the core dealings..
However, HG did not simply educate me in the “ways of the narc” but ignighted a power within me that compelled me to revisit the “shadow of hell” that was my assailant narcissist and rip the mask from his face, inflicting (with similar tactics and precision that he used on me) narcissistic injury. Ultimately what I’m saying is it was through the teachings of HG Tudor that I was able to break free of the trauma bond and recognize what I was dealing with. I learned how to fight fire with fire without becoming my enemy!
I know you’ll hate this, but I often reccomend HG to other victims, that are at the right stage to benefit. I never paid HG a red cent or bought any of his books (sorry HG, not sorry) but I gleaned enough from his sharing of this evil disorder to not only escape, but blow up my narc ex’s life in the process (again sorry, not sorry).
Kudos to you HG Tudor! I dont love you, but I do find value in what you do.
You’re welcome, but I’m not creepy.
You sure you aren’t creepy?!
Certain.
The voice is okay…It’s the laugh. It’s like a comic book villain laugh
I didn’t find you creepy, fucking terrifying before I spoke to you (I’ll blame ET), but no, certainly not creepy
Terrifying is far more accurate than creepy, although you’ve no reason to be fearful here.
I’m no longer fearful here HG.
I used to think of myself as fearless and I aim to get back to something like that, although I think there is caution that will be with me forever now. Everday is a school day!
What the hell is he doing here, he don’t belong here…
Something vexes thee Alexis?
Terrifying! Is that one ounce better than creepy?!
It’s more accurate
Alexissmith2016:
She’s running out the door
She’s running
She run, run, run, run
(Must’ve been the moment when he said her skin makes him cry.)
Hi Lorelei
Haha, I’m not saying I’m still terrified and it wasn’t meant as a critiscism exactly, just truthful
Before I spoke to HG, I had only just escaped and learned what narcissism was after the fact. I’d listened to some videos, read Manipulated and I was in a state of terror in general when I got my Narc detector results. Sitting waiting for an audio consultation, my pulse was probably 140, dry mouth, the whole 9 yards.
I wasn’t quite so terrified after speaking to HG as he convinced me that the MRN wasn’t some malign force that I’d unleashed/unmasked.
Although I’m not ashamed to admit I would still be afraid of HG in a different situation – socially I mean, not on the blog.
Anyone who has read his work would be?
Notme, nothing vexed me. It was just lines from the song, ‘Creep’ by Radiohead. Excellent track by the way!
I’d altered the words ‘I’m’ to ‘he’s’
I like his voice.
Indeed Violetta, as many of us here, count me one of them 😉
I like the way he breathes.
His voice is amazing! Terrifying, maybe he is behind closed doors. But I could only do email consultations with him because I would be way too nervous to speak with him on phone.
My friend showed me this link, and it’s been a very interesting read! I don’t particularly care for the labels though, as ‘super empath’ sounds kind of self-aggrandizing. I would never go around referring to myself as such, lol.
My situation is a bit different than most, I’d imagine. I work in finance and am an entrepreneur working in finance so I encounter people with full-blown NPD probably on a daily basis. So many encounters with ‘your kind’ that I’ve developed a radar for them, if that makes sense.
There’s a system by Dr. Adam Grant that’s about givers, takers, and matchers in business. I’d consider myself a matcher until that person has earned the right for me to be a giver. And if someone is an exploitative taker, well, either I manipulate back or just get the hell out of there, depending on how much value I place on the relationship.
I’ve always known I had some narcissistic traits, but my temperament (sensitive) seems to keep it at bay…the majority of the time. Then it’s like I’m somewhat of a different person, no guilt, no remorse in fucking with them back.
Anyway, great blog! I will enjoy reading more.
Love your stuff HG. Had a 9-year borderline followed by an 8 year narcissist with a 4-year celibate recovery gap in-between. I put up with a lot, and I’m fixing myself.
I had no idea what I was dealing with, but my mother never took the blame for anything (and she’s 78 now, and I just turned 50) and I don’t recall her ever saying “I’m sorry” or “I was wrong”. This behaviour was natural for me. And I was prey.
I’ve got a 16 year-old with the borderline and introduced another cluster B (other than his mother) for 8 years. I’ve talked to my boy about these mistakes openly, and what he deals with when his mother ignites.
Any opinions on how I might deal with this from your perspective? My son is my priority.
Many thanks.
Hello Sean, I am pleased you love my work. I can certainly provide you with assistance and this type of matter, owing to the detail required is better addressed through consultation.
Just getting back to your site the past few days. I’ve actually done about 10 hours of counseling (with hundreds of hours of videos and reading, which you’ve played a large part in) and faced all my demons, and I’ve basically laid it all out for my son with the “we’ve both been raised by damaged women and this is the crap I’ve put up with. Here’s what to watch out for, and don’t make the mistakes I’ve made.”
It’s pretty straightforward for me, and I’ve done the work. Do you think this is a valid approach? He’s 17, incredibly empathic and caring, and is a ripe target for a narcissist. He’s also seen my collapse and rebuild over the last year.
Hi sean…your mother sounds like mine. Narcissists can never admit(unless part of the facade) doing wrong or say sorry in a genuine way. I gave up long ago.
How do you know your childrens mother is a borderline? Was she diagnosed?
The ex-wife is a nurse, and a nurse friend of ours told me she was bipolar during the last week of the marriage. Researching the bipolar angle (which didn’t really fit), I came across the borderline definition which was bang-on. So, not actually diagnosed that I’m aware of. But a medical professional did tell me something pretty close. She was sexually molested by her father, so the profile did fit.
Followed by the narcissist who kindly put sugar in my gas tank to celebrate the anniversary of her discard a few weeks ago. The borderline wife seemed to have some emotional range, as there were a few times she was pretty shaken by things that happened at the hospital. She’d come home in the middle of the night and wake me up to unload her feelings.
The narcissistic girlfriend always talked about her work day, but in hindsight, there was never much in the way of emotion about it.
Of course, they both would jump into a rage at any criticism. My mother did the same and I grew up quite the expert at calming her down. It was only after the discard and some serious counseling that I realized I was repeating the same cycle over and over.
H.G. will love this part; I was coaching my ninth season of kids hockey when my NPD girlfriend first saw me. I probably looked like a gas station to her.
HG. Wonderful fascinating stuff. I have just a couple questions….You are a narcissist…do you get supply from this website and people’s comments? Ok I think all of us Empaths want to identify as “Super Empaths” because nobody wants to admit to being a sucker. My question is this….in your video you stated that a Super Empath and a Narc are drawn to each other. Is it possible for a Super Empath to be so strong that they actively use their “Powers” to see out narcissists because they know their ability to go “Super Nova” will enable them to prevail? What I’m saying is this….is it possible for the Narc to be the “prey” for a Super who seeks them out on purpose?
I do not use the word “supply’, fuel is a more accurate description.
Yes I gain fuel through the comments. As I have explained many times, it is low in potency (tertiary sources) and low in quantity (written word) and frequency varies dependent on time available to engage. Accordingly, my fuel needs are met in my private life. This place is not created for the garnering of fuel, but for other reasons.
A Super Empath might decide to become some kind of “narc buster” but it is usually only directed at the narcissist they are ensnared with , because they will not sustain the super nova to use against others. Moreover, seeking out narcissists in that manner will ultimately prove counter-productive.
Ummmm there is another person with the name ‘Super empath.’ How can this be? I am not that other one; how do I change my name?
This is accurate of my ex from college. A damaged shell of a person. Shiny on the outside, empty on the inside, always needing a fix via super empath. Breaking it off with him “crushed him” (in his own words) and was a liberating, awesome experience for me. The spectrum is fascinating hehehe. It brings me great pleasure to see a great N blog about his or her condition in a mindful, articulate manner.
You FUCK. I read something, somewhere on your wonderful website…”A letter to a Narcissist” I think it was titled. The red flag was when she said “nearly always single young mothers; grateful for a little attention” I get “VIBES” that you’re a pedophile and I’m realizing that I am a Super Empath. You stated “The Super Empath requires fairly careful management by our kind, but the rewards always mean that this person is a challenge which is often accepted” Maybe I could book a consult with you. That would be VERY interesting. LMFFAO!! I read where you wrote “as a consequence of my own intellect, I have known for quite some time that I am a narcissist AND also the REPEATED involvement of specialists who form a part of my “treatment”, which is very much ONGOING”…..I WONDER WHY (those annoying empathic traits that you despise, always looking for ANSWERS lol), why you would seek treatment?? Is that CUNT Mommy forcing you? Are you actually TIRED of being a DEMON? or maybe you have tiny pieces of brain matter left in your hippocampus, amygdala and prefrontal cortex that are SCREAMING to REGROW? God is real and I am not brainwashed by religion. Never was and never will be. I am totally connected to God, because He is the reason I was led to you. Your world is now rocked even more. You have met the one with the most intense, the brightest LIGHT. LMFFAO. You lose, because you’re DARK…the Darkness loses in the end. God is NOT in any, ANY religion. The ONLY “treatment” for you that will work, the ONLY “treatment” for CURE is finding out who GOD really is. TIP: He is ANGRY, angry beyond comprehension. Have an anxious day as usual, demon!!
I am neither tired or anxious.
Purely as an intellectual curiosity, how is God real? Does he appear in capitals perhaps?
HG you do have some idiots on here. Back again to see how things are since that so called Super Empath (yeah right) made an alert on my phone. Hope your consultations with Drs going smoothly. 😄
The education continues thank you.
Great news HG. Any updates to share on any of these consultations or are you not allowed to? Just interested on how the process is going, very interesting indeed. Keep at it.
There will be updates appearing through future articles SVR.
A religious Narc here ? Well what a lovely Christian we have here. Did God give you the a ok to call someone a “Fuck” ?
Now I’m really Lmfao. I love when ocassional nut jobs shows up here so funny
Oh the “religious” person always bringing up pedophilia. Hmmmm
@Lori GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Uh oops. I just had to try the all caps thing and I tell you this: completely overrated. Anyway, you took the words right out of my mouth there and so I definitely appreciate your final sentence……how right you probably are there. Nothing, not even the narc’s word salad and matching behavior, boggles my mind more than, do I dare use my most adored term?, hell yeah, I’ll use it. Nothing boggles my mind more than a sanctimonious HYPOCHRISTIAN who feels the need to show the world how aggravatingly rude he or she is. Nothing against those of you who do follow the good book, mind you, lest I appear rude myself, but I think we can all see the difference between a genuinely kind churchgoer and those who yell talk in all caps. There was no reason for that outburst. And you know, as I was reading what they, as Super Empath wrote…..that they sure sound like a lesser mid-range or somewhere on the lesser side of things.The “I am so great and better than you” type grandstanding didn’t really look to me like anything else but screamed narc! In my sensitive little ears. lol
Super Empath
Your comment caught my attention
You state you are totally connected to God and your light is the brightest…
I am interested in your perspective of how this manifested within you, that is if you wouldn’t mind enlightening me, I am always curious as to how one KNOWS they are the brightest light and connected to God.
Twilight
Twilight, people who believe in god don’t usually use those fruitful words on a website like this surely. Those words are utterly disgraceful. Best kept locked in the mouth and for thought only. Charming person that calls herself a Super Empath. Possibly a Narc looking for a bit of a stir? Just a thought 😐
SVR
I know and I wanted to hear their side first before stating my thoughts.
They have a God it is a matter on IF they see it or not.
@SVR Yeah that whole brightest light stuff reminded me of someone who called themselves Morningstar…….I think the Morningstar was probably more pleasant though. Jussayin.
Go find a hole you ignorant stupid cow
SVR
Who are you directing that comment to?
To you Twilight.
Twilight my error. Please do excuse me I am tired and I wrote the wrong name. Please accept my apology. That message was for Super Empath. I cannot believe what was written.
This is for Super Empath not you Twilight. Very tired and hit the wrong thing. Please accept my apology Twilight.
SVR
I understand no need to apologise, I suspected just wanted to confirm.
I got some nice fuel from that comment. I love rage.
It was not rage. It was just words for an idiot. Your fuel was not really fuel then. That was your interpretation. But if you got a little fuel then that’s grand by me.
Thank you K. I see now that the Narcs I knew loved rage also.
@K can’t type…..laughing too hard…..well damn, if you aren’t the long lost twin I always knew I had. lol. Here I am, nearly 3 years later, reading this thread and am channeling a bunch of you with the whole “you took the words right out of my mouth” response. Man, I needed that belly aching, face splitting hysteria. Your comment, so simple, yet so powerful, caught me right in the jugular. This!! Your comment made my day. Thank you.
My pleasure cadavera666!
Hahahaha…I am glad we found each other on this thread. My comment was directed towards Super Empath and her fiery disposition. I am quite fond of rants and scathing contempt, if you get the chance check out KEVIN SPACEY NO BALLS – Horrible Bosses 2 on YouTube; I think you may enjoy it.
Super Empath…
Oh..no! Here we go again! It is actually astonishing and at the same time embarrassing ( but not unexpected) to see how some articles trigger and bring up the worse and dark side of some…I do not ” see” ANY LIGHT whatsoever in your words…I just see darkness..it is embarrassing to read specially if these comments really come from one on the other side of the fence….something that makes me wonder if that is really the case…
Just seen this.
Ah. Contradictions and misrepresentations.
No one can say they are the brightest that God has to offer and say “oh you’ve met the brightest”
The brightest ones are full of the Holy Spirit The spirit is not present where there is profanity. The tongue which is holy does not speak in an unholy way. It causes offence to the spirit and He leaves. Nor does the brightest of God exhibit such a lack of humility and boastful pride.
I have specks in my eye too and a sinner.
Yet I know the brightest of God never state they are brighter than someone else or the brightest God has to offer.
They dont have to.
They are seen by their light alone.
Not by words that play out stating how God is angry. You nor I speak for Gods mood.
God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow. He so loved the world He sent His only Son who died for us.
He spoke not of anger in the Father.
What He did though was instigate many teachers who led through His works of peace.
And we may read of these works in The Bible.
And know the love of God.
Vengeance is mine saith the Lord.
We can concentrate on our own salvation with
fear and trembling ..that is with great humility and respect.
Not everyone believes in God.
Fair enough.
That is not the point.
Oh wait this comment by Super Empath is super old. Never mind with my previous comment then
Morning HG. Thankfully the male Narc has left me alone. I have my life back in order realising like your kind I had an addiction. I have just joined back into life after 2 years of recovering. I feel very proud of myself and my achievement, this something I would never feel let alone admit before. When you have recovered, and I do believe it is not something you can do on your own the world is a better place than before the narc experience. I am now joining back in with life activities but at risk of possible contact with him again. If this situation should happen I will not engage with him. I am friends with a few of his fb friends but that will not deter me from living my life. I have mentioned nothing to them about this man. The female Narc since I told her to leave me alone 10 months ago has tried to ask to be friends with a family member of mine, sent me a letter (read it for the interest and a projection) and most recently managed to get a picture to me on social media (which I did not open and just deleted). Do these kind of people never get the message? Honestly I have better things to do. I have joint friends with both the Narcs but I never talk about them. If information about me is given to them then that’s fine, it’s not going to cause me any concern.
I guess what I am saying is that I am as SVR means a survivor. I can see your kind in my circle now and lists to my intuition. Human predators at large. Like us though you are entitled to live and if this is mainly down to our upbringing then it’s sad we both ended up the way we did. Thank goodness for the awakening as I have always thought something was missing in my life, this was what it was. So now I join walking through life with “the normals” and it feels wonderful.
HG you were part of my recovery and as I am not on your site very much now I want to thank you for your part. At the end of the day I was the one that did it and am a lucky lady. The consultation we had I found valuable. You stated I was a carrier empath of which I believe to be correct. There has been behavioural change now: I have withdrawn from the toxic people and now know my worth. My question is can I also have been a super empath? This because I was a challenge to the Narc.
I have now sent many people in your direction and will continue to do so. The help I received from you on here has also been of great benefit to my career.
I am patiently (get a move on ) waiting for little boy lost. Take care HG. Although I know you are abuser you have taught me so much. No disrespect I not ever want to meet you but I think you are wonderful (some fuel).
Hello SVR, thank you for your kind words and also for referring people to the blog. Little Boy Lost is being carefully curated but I am sure your empathic trait of patience will serve you well! It is rewarding to see the impact my work has had on you and also the fruits of your own hard work coming to bear in terms of the progress that you have made. You have seized the power!
Your work will benefit many. How are we able to understand if we cannot personally have a know in how your mind works. Can you answer my questions please? Thank you.
Omg! Really, I suppose I will have to be patient for the book.
One can be both Super Empath and Carrier because one is a school of empath and the other cadre.
Thank you wonderful man. See you now and then on your blog. Keep up the good work, although I know there is a reason for it which we may get to know about one day.
I suppose I will start buying the tissues now for reading little boy lost when it’s published.
I look forward to seeing you dip in from time to time SVR and keep spreading the word.
SVR, I’m so happy for you that you found the light at the end of the tunnel to brighter days and enjoying life again. Thank you for the update. Now you can drop by with stories on running from Narcs in the other direction.
MLA how you doing? Where are you at with recovery? It has happened again twice. I reacted very differently. ☺
Oh yes I have encountered 2 narcs since. Amazing to have the awareness.
Great article, enlightening, thank you.
My narc is a female. It has taken me a while to put this all together. I now know fairly clearly where I fit into all this. Again, thank you.
~ES
You are welcome Eric
This is extroadinary. I come from a whole family of kind hearted people, I am one of the few males in the family and have a problem with having weak boundaries. Girlfriend problems. Friendship problems. Work problems. I attract controllers. Yet although I can tolerate a lot of abuse, emotional manipulation, obligation and guilt and the like… I don’t lack any self-esteem or confidence. I have strange traits. It gets to a point very, very late in the day where enough is enough and I go with my intuition create distance and/or pull the plug entirely. Game over. I sometimes question if it’s me being manipulative or if it’s me being controlling but in my heart I know it’s the ultimate defence mechanism I’m gradually enforcing.
There’s people very good at playing kind hearted.
If you get easily confused, shocked, uncertain and such, this is because of the environment you grew up in.
Watch Kung Fu Panda and find your inner piece!
You’re a fucking idiot LOL. I’m a super empath, I attract nothing but super narcs. I destroy them good, crush their self esteem for daring to attempt. You all are one-trick monkey. I yank the chain and give you a dance, then show you real narc injury. PUAHAHAAH
So the super empath is more likely to know something is going on, am I correct HG? The difference between codependency and super empath is now making me think I may have it wrong. I knew something not right but initially ignored and observed then I challenged each time to have a silent treatment administered. I just let these happen with no challenge. Although I needed to understand why strongly. I got that feeling of familial normality. I knew I had to avoid him at all costs but dI’d not know initially why, intuition don’t you love it. You had however said it’s more a super empath and a mid and above. This guy was definitely a lesser. Can these 2 go together for a few months?
Bwahahaha….looks like everyone thinks they are “super empaths” seems very narcissistic to me.
Bwahaha…no one here cares what you think. If you aren’t here to recover, learn, heal or help, you may go now.
Im super empath male, wouldn’t the relationship eventually work out? I watched your videos and they hit close to home. It was kind of strange like the videos were talking at me.
Wow. I’ve been into you HG and your work since Nov 2016… I’m not sure how i missed this huge piece…. but it all makes sense. Perhaps I’m a super empath. He did almost immediately change after we got married…. it was confusing…. it wasn’t till about 9 years and the 4 kids later that i started laying groundwork to escape him…. and i did. Except the kid connect. But im learning….
From what u know of me HG… would u say I’m a super empath?
I’d need more detail which is best reserved for consultation.
I thought u had a pretty good feel for my situation …
Fascinating blog, I can’t stop reading!
I am a total Super Empath who “escaped” the Mid-Range Narc 5 months ago. He poured a lot of energy into keeping me engaged and happy and “sharing the dream”, until after we purchased a very large house. I guess he thought that I was now trapped by marriage and financial burdens, so he let his charming mask slip.
What happened? I caught him in a *blatant* display of gaslighting. When he did it, he was staring at me as if to use his mental powers to convince me that the event never happened. I stared back at him, amazed at the obviousness. Once I saw that, there was NO way that I could unsee it. Then I retreated into my own head for a year to observe him and to try to figure out my escape.
He could sense my withdrawal and, instead of asking me if I was ok (like a regular person), played daily guilt trips on me: “you used to love me”, “you used to want to have sex all the time”, etc. Alternate the guilt trips with frequent passive-aggressive comments, and I’m amazed that I didn’t get angry and tip my hand. Oh, he got laid off during this time period, too, and decided to just retire and let me pay all of the stuff off. Um, no.
I simply drove away one day in the middle of an argument, when he stepped outside to pace angrily in the side-yard.
Right now, I am going through a withdrawal period of “I was in love with an amazing illusion”. It is totally withdrawal, too, worse than quitting smoking. I haven’t gone No Contact yet (although the divorce is final) because I’m playing a delicate chess game. I don’t want to enrage him TOO much until my name is off of that mortgage; my fear is that he would walk away from the payments in order to get back at me.
My apologies if this comment is overlong; I enjoy writing, too.
Totally get it
Has there ever been a Greater that later became more like a Super Empath?
Is it psychologically possible?
No.
that’s fucking lame.
With them the possibilities AREN’T endless..
The limit is at a much more mediocre level, NOT the sky…
Even spontaneity, isn’t technically that random with narcissists.
It’s like those basic ass dolls that speak…BUT, they only have 5 catch phrases they can actually say. :/
I think I’m a Super Empath from reading your blog. Why would he say to me”you not going to let anybody control or manipulate you, are you? I’m thinking to myself what kind of question is this , (why would I) I’m not knowingly inviting anyone to control/manipulate me…
Youre my savior H.G., I can’t thank you enough
To see how you react to this provocation Ciara.
So HG do you think from seeing what I posted earlier that this is a typical scenario for the mid-range narcissist or could be greater? He hasn’t come back to me at all and I’m hoping that’s the end of our ties. I still see the sociopath girl where I work that could still connect with him as she goes out of her way to see me hours she’s not supposed to be there. Another thing is if he gets married asap to this new main supply, would a mid-range be satisfied with just that one supply and never leave her and by chance never devalue her like he did to me? That’s all he wanted from me was me to get married to him. He is only 25 and I’m wondering if he will get worse or better with age?
Hi D, the mid-range – or any of our kind – would not be satisfied with keeping the one primary source forever, he would devalue her and eventually discard her, so do not be concerned with that. In terms of the effects of aging, it can exacerbate our traits as some of our kind fight against the diminution of certain powers, our traits continue effectively irrespective of aging or they become blunted and that is accepted as a trade-off for other benefits. It depends on the cadre and school of narcissist.
This narcissist just wants to be married so does this mean he wants the primary source tied to him while he has the other fuel sources on the side for life?
He just emailed me yesterday out of the blue like nothing happend between us.
Two words, “I’m happy.” No reply was made from me. My email account deleted right after(I don’t know how he got the new email). I didn’t have that tugging in my heart of hurt like I had with attempts of his to draw fuel in the past.
I have really been making progress healing and he doesn’t have that power like he did before. So no reply ever I gather is the best thing to do, even though I asked him never to have any communication whatsoever with me ever again of course he would not respect that.
Marriage is a key way to securing the primary source (because as a love devotee the empathic primary source believes and will honour the does given and the narcissist knows this). It is not uncommon for a primary source rot find that their devaluation starts very soon after the wedding day because there is a combination of the fuel having been as good as it gets (in the mind of our kind) and a “I have you now mentality as well.
The primary source is of course tied to us for life anyway owing to the narcissistic covenant and as ever we have all manner of different fuel sources (some the primary source would not object to – tertiary sources and inner and outer circle friends, family, colleagues and of course those that the primary source would object to in respect of lovers).
You did exactly the right thing D with regard to the recent e-mail which you have received.
That made my stomach my sick thinking about how close I was to marrying her. She was trying to have me plan the wedding, she was picking out my dress, and she wanted me to change my name. I never even wanted to change my name but she made a big deal about it so I would have. She was getting impatient towards the end. She would have had everything. Great reminder of how I would have been treated after the wedding.
HG, I recently read an article about a man who asked his wife for divorce the VERY SAME day of the wedding. The woman (famous model at the time) was bewildered and heartbroken and it completely ruined it for for her.
They ended up staying together but he later dumped her for someone else – who was then dumped for someone else (third and current wife, let’s see how long this one lasts).
Further proof.