Pillar Talk
I’ve always been a people person. They make me tick. I find it important to maintain that front of dependability and wisdom so that people know that they can turn to me. I carry out several roles in public life. I am a school governor, a non-executive member of a hospital trust, a trustee for a charity involved in helping the homeless and a committed Rotarian. I draw tremendous satisfaction from undertaking these roles. Happily for me, my useful contributions to the various boards and organisations also means that I receive delicious fuel from those I work alongside and also the grateful beneficiaries of my largesse. I know a couple of people think that I am quick to cut-down unproductive suggestions and destroy pointless ideas but we are all giving our time voluntarily and rambling meetings serve no purpose, other than to irritate me. I need to drive the ideas forward and foolish comments are contrary to achieving that. I don’t get involved amongst the foot soldiers though. No, I am never going to be doling out soup and bread at the street kitchen or leafleting on a cold night, that is for others. I am far better suited to the bigger picture, the grand design and orchestrating campaigns. I am a leader.
This public face also enables me to ensure that should any of my crazy victims ever try to make trouble they will face an uphill struggle. I have at least one lieutenant in each of the bodies I detailed above. Their unswerving loyalty prevents any attack on my standing with the organisations I belong to. Moreover, such a generous and committed individual to service such as me could never carry out some of the defamatory allegations these deranged individuals come out with. Of course, presenting such a charitable face to the outside world is very tiring and that mask becomes so heavy so I am substantially relieved to remove it once the front door has been closed. Unfortunately for you, this means you are left in private with what lurks beneath. Try and tell anyone about what I do to you and you will not be believed. A behemoth of the community such as me cannot be touched. You would do well to keep that in mind and do as I say to avoid me having to unleash my rage and besides I can’t be long, I am meeting the Chief Constable for a drink at the golf club this evening and it would be very irksome if your behaviour made me late wouldn’t it?
39 thoughts on “Pillar Talk”
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HI HG I AM TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WEATHER MY EX GIRLFRIEND IS A NARCISSIST AS SHE DONE ALL OF THE THE SIGNS WHICH LEAD ME TO BELIVE SHE IS ONE BUT IM NOT REALLY SURE AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY
Organise a consultation and take the caps lock off.
Why didn’t they choose you as The New Most Interesting Man. This guy has nothing on you.
That was a serious question btw.
Is this the Dos Equis thing? Perhaps my lack of fulsome beard was used against me?
No one believed me either. The sweet innocent looking need.. So in love with me. He was spectacular at work as a lead and volunteered all his wisdom in time management. You are right about the mask. He unleashed his anger on her the Sig one…
Who cares in what capacity you serve on these projects? You are a part of helping people…yes you are! Just like you write to help us learn, people are being helped by your actions, so there.
I didn’t miss the point about how you treat us after that mask comes off or how people would react if we told them. What if one of your SO was crafty enough to provide evidence of what is beneath the mask…indisputable evidence…how would you handle that? Or, has someone already done that? Thank you.
If they provided the evidence to me, I would deny it and then ensure that I brought my A game to exert control over such an upstart.
What happened to your A game with respect to your current situation? Did you not quite bring it? It sounds like not quite so.
Which current situation are you referring to 1jaded?
The one where you are subjected to having to interact with Drs E and O and whomever else. You did not bring your A game to that trial. You are here sharing your thoughts not bc you want to but bc it makes a positive tick on the doctor charts. You would be carrying on and doing who knows what the fk you did. Amiright? You don’t gotta answer bc we already know.
That said, I still detest the one who helped form your brain to this.
Ah I see but I did because I have accepted this imposition in order to achieve my longer term aims.
Or because you have no choice other than to accept the imposition…
Hello HeroGod,
I’m new here yet already enthralled, entranced, entangled and most importantly, (finally) educated by all your gut-wrenching yet gratifying lessons about NPD and how to survive and thrive again post-abuse.
Now, speaking of pillars and what lurks behind your many mysterious masks of deception, you also make reference in your book REVENGE, to a ‘creature’ who lurks deep within you and can only ever be exposed when the 8 pillars of narcissism that form an all-but impenetrable fortress around you, are deliberately and doggedly targeted for destruction and finally crushed by a victim who successfully implements your precise plan for revenge….
Where can we learn more about this long-buried creature, aka your true self? Do you have a post describing this poor weak thing or is there a CREATURE book available or in the works?
Thank you! IWAFFL (lol)
(Well, I did indeed ‘waffle’ once after the mask slipped slightly yet suddenly at 5 months into a golden narc entrapment and I immediately ‘ended’ the relationship before a glorious Hoover sucked me back in a few weeks later completely clueless and more smitten than ever …. and of course that cost me four more years of relationship madness before Google and now you, solved this mind-blowing malignant mystery for me.
So this poor creature is on the mend and now I wonder about your poor creature?
Hello IWAFFL, very good by the way, I see what you did there. Welcome on board. As for the creature you can gain further information about it in the book Fury and the piece de resistance on this craven beast will be the forthcoming book The CREATURE which is currently being written and once completed will naturally be announced. I am pleased you have found my work of use. Do tell me about your tale. Finally, your greeting was most impressive. I like you already.
That’s why I have my own friends and a very close knit circle too, both in my personal as well as professional lives. I’ve learned to choose those you confide in carefully and wisely. My ex did not have an “in” here though I’m sure I will continue to work and live with people that function this way that I will always have to be aware of a navigate around. I know that one type I rarely fall prey to are those with titles and “images” to uphold in society as I tend to see through them quickly. I get a bad vibe of fakery that turns me off. I have to keep a watchful eye out for the “pity me” and the lost puppy type as well as the brainiac (I am a sucker for very intellegent men). I got my eye on them!
Excuse the delay in replying Indy I was just renewing my Mensa membership as I completed The Times cryptic crossword in less than five minutes all the while I was telling the scientists how to fix the Hadron Collider (it is just a case of switching off and back on again, but I added some garnish to sound suitably impressive)
Lowers glasses, looks over rim…so, was it in ink? I can never get that damned collider to do right, thank you for that tip! Btw you had me at “incurable lupus”.
I am the cure.
oh, wait, you didn’t mention…..what color of ink did you use in that crossword (makes me swoon).
You don’t play the victim cerebral do you….I guess I won’t offer to cure your lupus (that’s my typical role, usually….though getting better!!!) no sponge bath, either. Takes out restraints (aka nurse from One Flew Over)…
I only use two colours of ink. Black to write and red to correct. A fountain pen should always be used.
It is fair to state that I attack the healthy, but naturally I do not attack myself. Why? One, I am beyond attack. Two, I am apparently not healthy and therefore lupus would not apply to me.
I eat Nurse Ratcheds by the way. Those restraints wont help you either.
I bet you do eat nurse ratcheds alive!
I used lupus as an example of what I used to be attracted to (victim cerebrals, or smarty pants with addictions). I was playing on your play as a cerebral….by adding a victim element to it, which you quickly reverted to greater, naturally. I respect that. Was playing.
I’m still weak for intellegent men….wondering how I will fair in weeding the cerebral narcicists from the other smarty pants.
Smarty pants with addictions is an intriguing description. Please do expand.
Expand? Well, I am drawn to men that are quite bright and great conversationalists. Those that I have been in relationships with usually were deep thinkers with backgrounds in sciences and/or engineering. I also dig deep hippies with brains too, deep spiritualists that are open minded and not rigid in any belief system. However, I also like someone with a strong opinion that is willing to respectfully debate as well and challenge me. Now, what I have noticed is that I tend to draw these men that also have struggled with me sort of addiction. Usually to mask underlying pain from childhood. So, the meteorologist with binge drinking issues, the diver/counselor with a cocaine and opioid addiction, the lawyer with sex addiction and fidelity issues. My first, in my teen years , high school sweet heart, was a rebel, not intellectual, with lots of charm but not very smart and drank way too much. Likely a lesser. Then I graduated to mid rangers since as I love intellegent men and steer clear of those that physically act out. Not all my exes were full narcicists though all were smart, pained, and wantng to be rescued. That was my cue…..enter the fixer, rescuer….I saw the potential and the current beauty in the perfectly flawed. I still do. However, I also care for myself more and will not sacrifice my sanity and well being for another, if I can. It’s a goal.
Did you use a pen or a pencil to complete the crossword? I assume you know why I am asking… haha
Pen.
Because you do not make mistakes.
I wasn’t being snarky in a bitchy way. Snarky yes, total bitch no. Felt clarification was needed.
Have we met? I knew we have. You were the one that I dated who was owner of a skyscraper with your family name on the side for all to recognize. You had a hospital wing named after u from donating so much. U were on the hospital board. Newspapers spoke of you. Society pages featured you. U were a yacht club member. U were a golf club member. U were worldwide in your business endeavors. You had several homes in several countries. You had duel citizenship just in case. U had the private jet. You were the golden child. The only male child in your family. Your Father was the one trying for the male heir. He got him. You copied him. Or so you thought. You thought you won me. He died thinking we would marry. Remember how happy he was about that? Until the day of his death when I told you at his funeral that you would never be the man that he was. That he built the business not you. That you inherited it and didn’t contribute to the establishment of it. That he was the one, not you, that created your world. You were simply a wealthy brat who was born into that world and because of it you thought that you were entitled to have your way. You lost me. You lost the best thing that ever happened to you. You are still alone. Stuck in your routine. Trying to obtain the perfect fuel. I got away. You hate it. You can never let me go. You are chained to me in your mind. I am not chained to you. I am free. You are caged with your monster always hoping to be free, but freedom will always elude you. Hahahaha. I think your pillars are cracking.
He is a Narcissist and He admits it. Polite educated person for the bloggers. Who are You then that You are laughing at someone’s (His) misery? Who is evil here? That doesn’t make You better person than a narcissist (You perceive them as bad, don’t You? Cause I don’t. ..)
Dial it back Maddie. You are having an issue with comprehension. I am not addressing him. I am addressing Narc6. As we all see here you have a need to defend your fantasy. Don’t ever attack me as I will have you for breakfast. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
HG…I couldn’t get past the title without thinking of the entire conversation as “pillow talk” – “pillar” – hmmm…imagining British accent with Southern drawl…I bet you are the inventor of honey potting 😉
Indeed I am Sarah and I am just as sweet.
Giving out more personal info on who you are? Is this a good idea?
I remain relaxed SA.
Do you? Very well.
I do.
You sound so much like my cousin, the one who aspires to a career in politics.