Lying
You breathe. I lie. Both come to us naturally. To you, an empathic and caring person who is imbued with the traits of decency, honesty and integrity the act of lying is anathema to you. Even the use of a little white lie as it spills from your lips has you feeling uneasy. You conduct yourself in a way that involves avoiding lying and you would rather stay silent than let an untruth escape your mouth. Not only will you not lie,you detest being lied to. The lie shatters trust. Trust is a fundamental ingredient,in your world, to any relationship, whether it is between spouses, colleagues, parent and child or service provider. Without trust nothing would be achieved and the world would be a darker place. Breaching that trust is a terrible act and where your trust has been broken by the issuing of a lie then you react with horror, anger, upset and dismay. I can think of no better device for drawing an emotional reaction from your kind than the issuing of a lie. Those three letters create a small word but one which has all manner of repercussions. From the lies that accompany infidelity which strikes at the core of the relationship, to the lies told by those in power to remain a demagogue and achieve political expediency, the effect of not telling the truth is substantial and enormous. Lying results in damage. Lie to your friends and you lose their respect, lie in a court and you commit perjury, lie about your circumstances and you commit fraud,lie to your children and you begin to warp their world, lie to your other half and you destroy a part of them. A small word which packs a thermonuclear punch. So easy to say, so simple to use and the effects can be devastating. No wonder my kind and me relish its use. Economical and effective, no other tool comes close to the power of telling lies and this is why we use them repeatedly,often and extensively.
The advantage of their use is by telling you a Long Involved Explanation we lead you up the garden path and around the houses causing you to become confused and bewildered. The advantage to us is that the terrible truth of what we do becomes Lost In Explaining what we have done by use of our convoluted and twisted diatribes. We tell untruths from the moment that we seduce you as we detail to you our Lovely Ideas Embellished with falsehood about how we will achieve a promotion in under six months, climb Mount Everest and interior design our new impressive home. The fact is that we are fantasists who exaggerate our achievements and our plans so that the Lucid Ideas Expand beyond reality. The use of lies assists us in evading the finger of blame. You will try and catch us out but there is never a Lapse In Exposition as we weave an ever more complex web in which we wish to ensnare you, leaving us untarnished. You look on in astonishment as Laughing I’m Escaping accountability yet again. No matter what I have done, no matter how heinous the activity I will allow untruths to spill from my lips with consummate ease so that I remain in control, superior and blame-free. Often it will be a short and bare-faced lie, designed to have you speechless with incredulity as I walk away Laughing Inside Energetically at your shocked face. On other occasions, I will engage in the shaggy dog story, going round and round, adding more and more to the tale so that I Lovingly Insinuate Eventually that you are the one to blame and this makes you react all the more. How can we have the audacity to say such things and turn the blame onto you? Look It’s Easy, we have no sense of remorse or guilt for the things that we say. You are burdened with a conscience and a moral compass that causes you to steer a path so you always stick to the road of truth. We have no such compass. We do not have a conscience and this allows us to weave and twist, taking our explanations into the realms of the fantastic. Whether we are boasting and bragging about what we are or seeking to escape culpability we will lie incessantly. You will plead with me to tell the truth. You will promise that there will be no upshot, no comeback and no consequence you just, for once want to hear us speak the truth. You know the truth but you want me to tell you, so you can hear it for once. Like I’m Ever going to do that. Why should I give you something that you want? Why should I cede control to you ? Most of all, why should I give up the opportunity of gathering fuel from you? This is why we lie extensively, even when the truth might actually serve us better (better when judged from your viewpoint of course – not ours) we will gain fuel. Our twisted lies always cause you to react and provide us with fuel. If a situation is Lacking In Emotion we know that all it takes is for us to tell you a lie, the bolder the better, the more brazen and ridiculous it is the greater your reaction will be because you hate lies and you hate being lied to. As you stand before me frustrated and upset, I am Laughing I’m Escaping yet again any responsibility for my actions. I will smother you in untruths, layer lie upon lie, Literally It’s Engulfing you in falsehood so that you no longer even recognise the truth, such is the level of distortion. We lie to everyone. The man in the corner shop about how many goals we scored at football, lies at work to cover our backs and to plunge knives into the backs of others. Lies to a friend about how much we like him just to keep the Little Idiot Entertained. Repeatedly we will lie to you to ensure you remain Locked In Entanglement with us and cannot escape. We use lies to express our false sorrow, our faux remorse and our promises to change just so you will not Leave In Earnest. We show-off with lies in a crowd to bring the spotlight back on to us as we talk over other people because we Like Interrupting Everyone. The lie is a Limitless Invigorating Example of what we really are. A fraudster, a charlatan, a con-man and a pathological liar. We know no other way and we have no desire to embrace any other way. I will always lie, I am Loving It Everyday because it furthers my schemes, underpins my ambitions, avoids accountability and brings me fuel again and again.
I am always telling lies.
And that’s the only truth.
56 thoughts on “Lying”
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Usually how soon do your intimate partners realize that your are prone to lying?
Months.
How should you react or not if you have the suspicion that your narc is lying to you? Should you just ignore him and change the subject?
You may wish to state your truth and that he is lying once so you know you have done so and then move on. He will not admit he has done so and you will just become angry, hurt etc and provide fuel whilst achieving no resolution.
Reblogged this on NarcMagNet69x96.
This made me throw up. Literally.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s alright, because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s alright, because I love the way you lie…
Couldn’t find better words to say it to You.
I appreciate your candor and openness about these issues, but please consider repenting and connecting with truth and God. All liars will have their part in the lake of fire. Whoever loves and makes a lie. Along with the dogs, whoremongers and others who are like this. As you pointed out, this is not people who avoid lying and hate it when they feel they aren’t totally truthful. Liars are people who make their whole life based on lies in word and action, and thrive from it, and in arrogance believe they are superior because of this and other ways they harm others. Even in their false belief that lies and deception makes them somehow superior, they are only living a lie. They do not have the wisdom to understand they are falling for an old trap the Creator has allowed to ensnare the ones who are evil. Their pride will not allow them to see reality, because they are foolishly self deluded of their so-called greatness. They will be forced to acknowledge one day that it has all been a lie, and there will be weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.
I am not sure if my comment has already been posted or if my question got lost some how. So I’ll try again … HG or anyone else…? I have been searching for notes on a specific manipulation technique through discourse, and can’t seem to find anything on it. It’s best described as a form of NLP/ Coercive mind control/ mind washing, with the results of utter confusion, gaps in perceived time and just plain “What actually happened there and when did it happen?”- thinking. E.g. rephrasing a common past experience as something good and nice, when in fact it was bad and unpleasant. But doing so in a continuous and persistent manner! In the beginning changing the past only in small details that could be ascribed to differences in perspectives … but not really. Does this sound familiar to you? And would these traits be ascribed to a Higher, or would a Lower/Mid range utilize them unknowingly?
Your question is in moderation Ahab, it will be answered in due course.
My mother said very often that she hated a liar. In fact she talked so much about how important it was to tell the truth that I thought the woman must be the most honest person on earth. However, I did catch her in some lies. Always small things. I just assumed that our memories of the event were very different….
M often told me how honest he was – in his twisted way of thinking I suppose he thought he was. His favorite method of lying was omission of the truth. But I often caught him in other lies. It was not worth the fight to point out that I knew he was lying.
I’m sorry, perhaps too strident — but the chronic lying could have been dangerous for my actual health ; (
😢
To paraphrase Will. Shakes.,””this Liar doth protest too much, methinks.”
Longwinded-in -Elaboration? neverevernowaynohow
Lacking In Evidence? true that
Land in Entanglement? not in your nutty world
*All I want is the truth!* famous last words of the Liar-in-Extreme…
Go & enjoy more Lost-in-Excess, reality-twisting substances, mr. stupid, low, tangled web…*truth* is whatever you concoct/pop/do, to escape yr lying-in-excess, lame, Harmful, Loser self
Strawberry ice cream, here, please. Plenty of chunks..she’s afeelinfierce! 😉
Such an actor, hiding all the pain
HG you have me wondering, he used to show me different pictures of facial expressions telling me changing your expression can help you change your emotions, I am going to step out there on this one, he was using this to practice wasn’t he? Or more so telling me something, without actually saying?
Crazy how I ‘Knew” most of the time just chose not to acknowledge his lies, yet I see now how what some of what he was doing was learning to mimic better.
I do feel for his IP, it’s her money, her land, and her influence he is actually after. At moments I start down that road, i am finding it doesn’t bother me as much.
Hello RMG, absolutely right, he was practising.
HG. I have been searching for notes on a specific manipulation technique through discourse, and can’t seem to find anything on it. It’s best described as a form of NLP/ Coercive mind control/ mind washing, with the results of utter confusion, gaps in perceived time and just plain “What actually happened there and when did it happen?”- thinking. E.g. rephrasing a common past experience as something good and nice, when in fact it was bad and unpleasant. But doing so in a continuous and persistent manner! In the beginning changing the past only in small details that could be ascribed to differences in perspectives … but not really. Does this sound familiar to you? And would these traits be ascribed to a Higher, or would a Lower/Mid range utilize them unknowingly?
Hello Ahab, yes this conditioning is familiar to me, it is called Rewriting History. It tends to be the preserve of the Greater who does it deliberately but Middle Mid Range and Upper Mid-Range will do it as well as consequence of their needs.
A Lesser will just engage in out and out denial.
That is interesting reading. Thank you for you honest insight, HG. Have you, or are you planning to post a blog on Rewriting History? I noticed “it ran in the family”, especially on his mother’s side, who – no surprise- had severe N traits herself. When I became perceptive of this conditioning, I started noticing when it was happening and became attuned to what kind of situations it was applied to. Usually, and along the way, to cover something criminal that was being done to me. You use the Tendering somewhere else, and Conditioning is very appropriate. In my mind I came to see it as when a Phedophile preps his victim for what is to come. And if I’m right in my foresight, it was going somewhere very ugle and maybe end with my suicide- willingly or unwillingly
Hello Ahab, yes there is a Revision of History post in the list of articles which are to be written, so keep an eye out.
“You breathe. I lie.” accountable or questionable??? why do i feeel myself to be Narcs myself? Am i? or not?
He lies to himself so much now he believes his own lies even though they are no longer convincing anyone else…not even his children. The extremely sad part to me is that I think he truly believes some of his lies despite how ridiculous they now seem. The Con-artist is now only conning himself but I don’t feel sorry for him…anymore.
Once early on in our relationship we were going to a party and he said “if you were to lie or exaggerate something I would would back you up”
I said why would I lie? I guess he was just feeling me out to see if I would agree with his fabrications.. Truly Pathetic!!
But if your lies make you lose credibility when you are pretending to be superior, and your ego is so important, then is the lie really worth it? Wouldn’t it make more sense to lie to people you don’t care about rather than for example to lose your relationship with your only child?
Hello SL, credibility according to who? If it according to you, remember that we look at things from a different perspective to you. You may think that our credibility is reduced but we will not, indeed we see the outcome of telling the lie being the most important aspect.
As for losing the relationship with the only child, again, if this is an outcome because of our other needs, then so be it, that is how we operate. Our needs must be fulfilled. All else is collateral.
This is a point, I never got.
Why are you lying, if telling the truth would give you more benefit.
Why are you lying today, if you know you get caught tomorrow?
I tried to figure it out by myself and came to this:
First, my benefit is not your benefit, it’s just not understandable from my position/ out of my socialisation. I will never understand the benefit of standing in front of a devastated, desperately upset person and finding this enlightning.
Second, they are intelligent, but not in the long-term-planning-way, because it’s always only about this certain situation. Can I get out of this, can I get an emotional reaction, can I get the upperhand…NOW? Because in 2 minutes it’s another/ different situation. If you caught me, asking why I did it…I just tell another lie and get out of this situation as well.
Is it that way? I always got desperate about this “how can he tell these things, if he might be held accountable for it the next day? But he doesn’t think in these kind of lanes, now is now, I need to get out of it now! And if you’re trying to get accountability for this tomorrow I will just tell another wild story.
So, the questions never get answered, what to the N is never a reasonable thing to think about. Only the “victim” is caught in a loop, right? There is no closure about anything, because this state of confusion is the best guarantee of fuel-deliverance, right?
Hello Janki,
Your conclusion to the first question is essentially correct. Benefit by whose standards, yours or ours? Remember, owing to the difference in perspectives, you may not realise that lying actually does indeed serve us a greater benefit.
Again, you are essentially correct with regards to your second question. I lie today because it suits my purposes. Most of the time my kind operate in the here and now. Tomorrow can be dealt with through another lie, more denial, deflection, blame-shifting and the like. Keep in mind that we do not do accountability so we are not concerned about being caught out tomorrow.
Yes by maintaining confusion and bewilderment, as explained in Mind Games – Part Two, we gain fuel and a whole host of other benefits.
Lies…Lazy Inadequate Excuses
Lie – “Those three letters create a small word but one which has all manner of repercussions”. And the biggest way you do that is with three little words, “I Love You”.
I recently read one take on narcissism that there is no “one” person inside a Narcissist. In the way you form your construct for the outside world to see, you have so many facsimiles of different people you borrow from, you are like a chameleon that can change color. For you, your core is “the Creature”, or the void, the hole, the dark envious energy source at the core of others.
You say lying is as easy as breathing for you. But rather than lying, do you ever feel like it’s almost like having multiple personalities? Since you “borrow” traits you admire from people you meet and weave those into your facade, does your brain register a type of scenario and adjust to “Joe Blow’s” way of putting out a fire at work or “Stan the Man’s” method to courting a new love interest? Do you follow what I mean?
If it follows the theory that the Narcissist doesn’t mature past the point the the True Self was disassociated with and the False Self was adopted, then you are always mimicking all behavior in order to survive day to day. If everything truly out of you was a lie, you couldn’t really function successfully at your job, hobbies or relationships for any length of time. Is it really hardcore lying if at the crux it’s because your core never matured past a certain age stunting your emotional growth and ability to make mature and reasoned decisions?
Obviously, telling someone your whereabouts were different than who you really were with or went, clearly is a blown out lie and you partake in that.
I guess I just still struggle with the same vicious cycle stretching on for months and years with patterns absolutely exhausting.
Did this post fall thru?
Interesting observations Clarece.
I do not feel the need to adopt a particular personae when dealing with a certain person in the manner that you suggest, but I know that some of my kind do behave in that manner. They have different masks for different people that they interact with. Owing to my sense of entitlement and lack of accountability, telling a lie suits me in the moment or if I deem it appropriate in order to achieve a medium or long-term gain. If there is an inconsistency in what I said last week compared with now, I do not care, because I am not liable for it. I move forward. I will ensure consistency if it is needed to achieve the medium or long-term gain, but otherwise being inconsistent does not trouble me. I will suggest the listener is mistaken, deny I said what was said, change the subject, charm them in some other way and so froth.
I was just curious. The theory had reminded me of an old friend who had a very narcissistic mother. Whenever my friend felt stressed or unable to cope with a situation or person putting pressure on her, she would get very admittingly snappush and say “Jodie had to come out”. (Jodie being her mom, but also her alter ego that was definitely a defense mechanism for her). I think I told you about that before.
H.G., how many lies or fibs do you think you tell daily?
Yes I think that is a mechanism that some people utilise. It is also a rather effective way of avoiding blame isn’t it? I didn’t call you a whore, it was Jodie who did, you cant blame me for it.
How many lies do I tell daily? Scores.
Scores? Jesus H. Christ
No, God, but close.
For the avoidance of doubt, my lies do not appear in this arena.
Look It’s Easy….to fight fire with fire… You do not have the market cornered. They say the longer you are with someone, the more alike you become.
How many times did you say these?
” I hate liars!!”
” how can you lie to me?”
” you lied to me”
” you are the one lying”
She was furious when she thought someone was lying to her but she did it with so much ease like you. And she believed every single word that came out of her mouth.
The best example I just read was when your mother flat out denied that you could have pushed your friend down when you were racing. Wow! I could hear voice and picture how her eyes must have looked. I would have been scared to death. I loved that story.
That was a cold-hearted move from mum!!!
Hi Clarece, Hope you are doing good. My eyes and mouth were wide open as I read that. Shocked beyond belief that someone could straight up lie like that and then to have one of your children witness that. And then for her to tell HG “Next time don’t leave marks”. I don’t think I can forget those words either.😓 I went in to work the next day and told that story. She was a terrible mother.
HG, it’s your personal stories that really help me understand where it all comes from. Thanks for writing them.
I have a feeling I will need a box of Kleenex for the next books that are coming out.
I always enjoy talking to you Clarece.
Have a good evening ! ❤️🍎❤️
I believe his mother had the warped mindset she was protecting little HG (and herself more importantly) and teaching him how to cover his tracks. She wanted those people off her property. They were invaders and threatening her sanctuary. United front was shown to them. I’m sure HG paid dearly for her being inconvenienced with that later that night.
Hi Clarece,
Warped mindset was a great way to explain it. Hopefully I will finish that book tonight. Xx
Well of course I lie. I HAVE TO. I simply can’t tell the truth, I no longer remember how to.
This one is going to take a while to process. Fully convinced that Himself was beyond lies, convinced that he was above Truth. I’m feeling a bit sheepish for being duped into so wholeheartedly believing, I’ve never once dared to question him.
Is there hope?
My N said that I was the only person he hadn’t lied to, that THIS was going to be the relationship he’d do everything right, that it was the first time he’d made a conscious decision not to lie. I wanted to believe those lies.
And so did he Jamie.
I believe that. I do think that at first he tried, but at first he really didn’t have any reasons to lie, I tried to make that relationship perfect, too. He wanted me to save him, and so did I.
Mine told me the same. He din’t lie after it was over. He told me the truth if I asked. We talked about his disorder too. He wanted me to email his shrink, which I did. But I can’t be his friend. My time is much to valuable. >
Mine used to say to me, “I would never lie to you”. Even though I never questioned him ?
And another time said to me, “I know you’re lying because your lips are moving”. Think he got that one from Megan Trainor !
I mean, I know NPD’s and Sociopaths lie. I do not know the answer to Starr’s question, and it is a good one.
I know.
Hmmmmm so should we believe your answers to our questions or are they lies as well ? Or maybe this blog is the only means in which you can tell the truth and it is a release and in a way a relief that you will not be judged or discovered ?
You’ve answered your own question.
I have only seen one lie from HG. I think he just didn’t finish the answer. >
When I confronted the psychopath about lying, he said he didn’t like lying either, but sometimes you just didn’t have a choice. To show how delusional I was, I thought he only lied to others and not to me. WRONG!
LOL! I relate. The N bragged to me about how good she was at manipulating people. And of course I ignored it because our relationship was so special and of course she wasn’t manipulating me!
I wanted her golden period because no one had ever loved me or paid attention to me like that before. I ignored so many things!