Perfection from Practice
I have made mention of how the advancements in technology have provided my kind and I with a smorgasbord of methods to carry out our works. From seduction to manipulation the freedom that comes with wifi and a functioning device provides is with a wealth of opportunity. My web can be spread wide over the….well the web. How apt it is that the pioneers of the internet decided on the appellation of world wide web. The electronic blanket which encapsulates this planet is indeed a web. A perilous place which readily ensnares the unwary. From chatrooms, to text messaging, through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, e-mail and dating sites, the internet has proven to be bountiful in its riches for my kind. Of course, this vast array of different hunting grounds can only be of benefit to the seasoned hunter. You can fill a river with salmon but if you do not know how to fish then you will not catch anything. Of course, I know how to fish, to shoot, to spear and to hunt. My mastering of the tools of manipulation enables me to sniff out my prey in moments and like a lion tracking a bison, drag them to the ground and eat them from behind before they even realise what has happened to them. Have you ever seen the expression on a felled bison or buffalo as a predatory lion gorges on their flesh? It is not pain, it is not frustrated struggle but an almost blissful ignorance to what is actually happening. They seem unaware that they are being devoured. It is so similar for my victims. They smile and purr even as I am taking chunks from them because that is the high level of my skill.
Thus the internet has become my hunting ground and my various manipulative machinations are given a good run out amidst the waiting and willing victims. There is one thing however that always works in this electronic shop window and that is the art of conversation.
My early forays in chatrooms bore fruit so incredibly quickly. Even I was taken aback at how easy it was. So many times I read comments such as
“It is such a lovely change to meet someone who can hold a conversation.”
“You are so charming and interesting, you actually hold a conversation than saying hi babe wanna shag?”
“You are clearly intelligent and interested in me. I am not used to that. So many of the men on here just want a picture of my boobs or want to send me a dick pic, you are not like that.”
Naturally, I was not engaged in conversations with men so I do not know if there is a boorish equivalent amongst the female ranks. Certainly in all my conversations I never came across any lady whose opening gambit was to offer a picture of her genitals. I take the view therefore that it is the male of the species that is letting you down. They are certainly not letting me down. By populating chat rooms and dating sites and trotting out such Neanderthal lines these men are increasing my currency. The fact I can talk about a variety of subjects, ask pertinent and engaging questions and avoid suggesting a bunk up in the first ten mintues meant that I really was the desired exception. The idiots, the perverts and the inarticulate all made me look even better than I already did (yes I know that may be hard to believe!) and thus when I came sashaying into view I was greeted with utter delight by those I interacted with. Even if I had no interest in someone, I was hard pressed not to attract them, by virtue of being able to string sentences together and not engage in demands for instant sexual congress (of course that would come later when I was always pushing on an open door).
Time and time again I heard reports of the pathetic and ill-mannered behaviour of men in these arenas. I expressed dismay and castigated them for it but all the while I celebrated for so long as they continued in this vein it meant all the more eager and willing victims for me. Those weak and pathetic spiders would soon curl up and die for there was only one giant walking through the net. Along came a spider but this one could hold a conversation.
96 thoughts on “Perfection from Practice”
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Indy. I’m sorry for your loss. :((
Hi HG,
Do comments not post right away? I sent some but don’t see. Did I do something wrong? I also asked you some questions, do you only answer certain ones? Thank you in advance.
They are sometimes held up in moderation when I am busy engaging in my machinations and/or they are long and/or I wish to reflect on them. I answer everything, so your earlier post will appear in due course.
I remember the days of the chatroom. Do they still exist? Your blog is one of the closest things to being a chatroom. In the one I frequented, a reg and I had 80s music and hockey in common. We would banter. Then his enemy and I became closeish. So bizarre in the competition. When I activated IM..it was a feeding frenzy between them and I almost deactivated it immediately. Each rumored the other would post cock pics on the chat room and send them to regs. I warned both that my email and IM better never get pics of their cocks in my inbox.
Now fast forward years. I’m always surprised if I get incoming email from a fellow blogger. I will only go so far, though. I will reveal what I want to reveal…and no more.
My favorite chat room was on the Spiral for all of the NIN fans…. I do miss those days and have so many great friends now because of it!!! BUT thank goodness I didn’t receive any cock-a-doodle pics. Every time some odd person came in and asked for nudes I enjoyed sending them pics of mole rats or other naked things I would find online LOL.
I’m right there with you AH OH! Used to believe in love now moving toward the lust. But I’m being picky about that too! If your some jabroni dick head that just wants the sex…I have toys for that. Give me the passion,the play, the imagination…I’m game! Screw love…it hurts too much…I think 💖💔💗💔
I still believe in love. It’s hard, it’s messy, it’s a journey that is worth the pain because when you know someone so deeply there is no need for words at times…..when you are there for each other, thick and thin….oh, it’s amazing. And, yes….. it hurts too.
Ok, moment of realness…this is why I know love…..I just found out my non-narcicists alcoholic ex that I loved so but left because of addiction.(together for 5 years, friends after for 13 more years, parental figure to my adult son (not biological but more of a dad than anyone to him). The man I took to rehab 10 times and prayed he’d stop….yeah….he died tonight. There are no words….do I know love? Yes. Is the pain worth it, even in death…yes. Because, I knew him, I saw his soul and he knew me and saw my soul, warts and all. Do I wish I could stop knowing love? no. Lust is lovely, love is triumphant. Real love.
Indy, I am so very sorry! This post hit and hurt me like a ton of bricks and brought the realization that I do feel and want real love more than anything. I try so hard to become indifferent even though it is not in my makeup at all. Im bawling as I type this hurting for YOU and your TRUE love lost.
sorry
Hi Indy,
I am very very sorry for your loss! I know there are no words that can help you with the pain that you are feeling now. Just know I will be thinking about you and your family. ❤️🍎❤️
Thank you Alexis, Oh Ah and Snow. I found out while driving to see a client, 15 minutes before session. I cried, put those tears in a f-@&king box and after session cried like a baby. Addiction steals so many beautiful souls. Hugsssss (virtual and touchless if you don’t like touch).
Alexis, I so understand wanting to cut that feeling out. It’s carves deep in places that scare us. We can lose them, either through breakup or death. We can loose them before they die a million times emotionally (like in narcicistic “love”) or physically (like addiction relapses)….I lost him a million times before his death…and, I found him too. Now, hopefully in peace. It hurts because of so many things…when we love, we reinact attachment bonds or lack of from our past with caregivers. Why do it again if it hurt then and will again? Because we can. Because there is no other way to know a human better than to unconditionally loving them whilst loving yourself. That may mean leaving,yep. I didn’t stop loving him, I just stopped romantically loving him and loved my sanity more. No regrets. I have stories, memories, triumphs, failures, flaws and oh such beautiful simple love. Sunday coffee will never be the same.
Oh Indy ((((hugs)))). I am sorry to hear that, I am sorry you are hurting. 🙁
I want to say I believe in love… but what is love but a feeling we have for someone else. It isn’t fair to label love as this powerful antidote… we create it inside ourselves. I have love for many, but not what I have been searching for apparently. I really hope this makes sense.
Hi D.C.,
Thank you, hugsssss. It does make sense. It’s ok, love is individual. Love isn’t necessarily an antidote in my view either, it is just an experience for me that is very deep, for ,myself and other. This man I loved,…… and due to his addictions, I had to leave. My love wasn’t an antidote, girl do I wish it was….he’d be alive it it were. No, love is for us, imho. He was a good soul, give he shirt off his back kind of dude. He accepted people for who they were, except himself. Thus, he died of a disease of self hate and intense pain. Now….he soars.
I’m glad you shared that with me Indy, I can see what he truly meant to you. I do understand about having to leave even though you love… It’s an extremely tough decision to make!
I am saddened by people who are kind, generous and humble but can’t see their own worth… I wish I could help them see how special they truly are. 😢
My condolences dear lady. Alcoholism is like watching a suicide in slow motion.
At least his soul is at peace now, free of the imprisonment of addiction. ❤
Thank you Love and Jaded1 for your kind words. Yes, addiction is a slow suicide…..writing the obit now, damn it, I knew this would come. I just didn’t want it now.
Ok, whose up for Vegas, cause mama needs some candy and a “royal flush”.
How fun would this be! Cray Cray times
You gals!!! I think we would have too much fun… I am game!!!
Everyone could stay with me and we can invite HG too.
Sent from my iPhone
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Party! I have to admit, I love Planet Hollywood… the atmosphere is fun and I love nothing more than to wake up to coffee and the hot tub…good swim in the afternoon! <3
God I need it right now….some craycray with a side of high end Tequila.
Come on down! The water is fine.
Sent from my iPhone
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I don’t care who you are…empath or not…. everyone has a preference and even the best personality in the world won’t save you from finding the person attractive or not…. can we stop lying here ladies (and if there are any gentlemen (other than HG) on here). If you are an empath, you ought to be ashamed of yourselves for stepping into the narc path by lying about what you like….get it together!!!
Hi, my name is Dragoncreeper and I have a problem with being attracted to men by appearances FIRST… (yes, that is shallow and I don’t care) THEN I will learn about their likes, dislikes, skills and so forth. I just happen to know exactly what I like…
so now we are at a SH meeting? (Shallow Hal) It is about lust for me. I am good with it. I want lust and more lust. Whats love got to do with it got to do with it? Second hand emotion. >
Okay, but there will be no lust for me without looks. I’ll lust after the characters in my books on my own time, I am patient. What is love without lust?
It’s delicious when with lust. Without, it is home, it’s familiar, it’s unconditional….though, you can have all that and the prize in the bottom of the box too (lust).
I have needs, I have never had a relationship that there was no lust or passion. It just won’t work for me….maybe when I am 80 or dead… which ever comes first.
Love Tina!!!!!!
Walks in a bit late to this 12 step group….Hi, I’m Indy, I’m a sapiosexual and I spend too much time fantasizing about Ralph on a plane. Or dressed in 1940’s garb, taking control like an alpha female, “I am not a has-been. I am a will be.”
I am good with lust as well. But, of course I am not able to express that here, as you are, AH OH. please do not make a mockery out of HG’s Blog, as you have told me the same. Good Riddens, AH OH. (You really ought to hold something erect in your mouth, at all times, so as to stop your mouth from all of it’s BS).
HI, my name is Miss Apple, and I like to prey on handsome men. I am a sensual woman. At times I thought it was love but then I wake up and ask, are you still here?
Just kidding. Of course, I have loved. But I prefer lust.
Such a sour apple dipped in caramel you are SA! Nothing wrong with lust…
It is fascinating to see how you use others’ weakness to your advantage. I love seeing how you turn things aground for your benefit.
Do you use your online chats and dating sites as triangulation with your IP? Did very many contacts through these sites take the place of the current IP?
Mine sat there one night and showed me how easy it was for her to join Tinder and to get matches. I really thought she was just teasing me like everything else but you have shown me she was probably on several sites right under my nose? Hundreds of people were at her fingertips. I was amazed.
I have used it for triangulation. Two contacts becomes IPs as primary sources. I usually though either keep them as acquaintances or as outer circle friends when I eventually meet them.
Hmm interesting, yet it still can be a beautiful view
Is it a beautiful view from your office window HG?
The view is not expansive but I can see some excellent architecture.
HG this has nothing to do with this one, yet I stated I had to met with him due to issues that needed to be cleared up. I understand I didnt just touch one level yet went all the way in, smh, While I was waiting I was catching up on some reading found this amazing author just cant seem to get enough of his books, ;), well it was sitting on my bag out of sight. Forgot how observate he is, and I do believe he saw it.
My question is I reciveced a message saying “always armed and ready my little one” he is engaging isnt he? He doesnt fear what I have learned? If I dont reply, to which I have no desire to, even thou I actually laughed at the message, he will disengage again or will he find this a challenge and continue? Oh and I am curious why would he call me little one?
Thank.you in advance your advice is always on point.
Firstly, good for continuing to read this author, a wise choice.
He is engaging with you. He called you little one because you are inferior in his eyes. By not replying, you may cause him to press harder in the search of fuel but eventually he will disengage. It all depends on the hoover trigger and hoover execution criteria about which you will have read.
You are welcome.
Is this a picture of you, Mr. Tudor?
Do you think it is Claudia?
No, I do not. But, I would not care what you look like as long as you do not look like Freddie Krueger.
Oddly enough I am nothing like Freddie Krueger.
This is certainly encouraging, Mr. Tudor.
Do you think that I think it is, Mr. Tudor?
You believe it may be otherwise you would not have asked.
“Maybe”, hence…I was not totally sure. But, now I am 🙂
Meow…
HG, I will admit, your writing, wording and intellect is definitely eye catching BUT for me it is like reading a book and I have a fantasic imagination.
As Trent Reznor says, ” You are not really real to begin with, I just made you up to hurt myself”. HA HA, I like reality, a physical being… utilizing all of the senses.
P.S. The oh so sexy guy you have posted in the picture for this entry, please send him my way but the physical version please.
I haven’t been paid for that photograph yet.
You are a charmer HG.
I am waiting for my royalties too… I’ve got plenty of pictures you can use! 😛
You know where to send them then DC.
I would like to make some fun and new photos…which could be much more tantalizing if I had the guy above to play with…
Let me close the PC down and i will be over!
Don’t tease…. I mean about being so refined and sexy… although I think a full body shot is in order!
So demanding !
Well would you want to meet up with me, unknowing what I actually look like? We can all lie and say that we can look past appearances… but if I am going to walk through fires, I would at least like a fireman by my side. *oh so hot* *fans self*
D why are you hitting on Maddies man? The nerve. 😉 >
Hey now, I was merely hitting on the guy in the picture! 😛
Speaking of meet ups… if y’all all head to Vegas for a girls naughty night out I want in!!!
make sure as I have Maddie’s back and Claudia’s too. She likes his toenails. Ewwww!
I am not sure if that is a threat or you are inviting me to an orgy! 😉 Do not tempt me…
AND I don’t do feet… so Claudia can enjoy the feet all she wants… but she will have to wash up afterwards…she can’t touch me with feet on her LOL
Love, if I ever did meet with HG in person I don’t think I would be afraid… for one, I am certain he doesn’t live in the same country as me… the likely hood of him wasting money to stalk me would be highly unlikely. We’d probably pick a public place anyhow… and no matter how strong his seduction skills are, I am sure mine are equally as strong. Anyhow, the first meet/date/hookup or what not with a narcissist is never really bad… they are looking to please for that juicy, sweet, abundant fuel… They want to be submerged in our deep pool of golden fuel. 🙂 That gives me the upper hand… at least for a little while.
You are all so very dirty (blush); My eyes are not use to such depravity. I could never think of such things. My thoughts do not roam to such places. I feel so shy and bewildered at the moment. What are these things you speak of? Are they frightening to behold in person? In imagination, this all seems so foreign and alien to me. I do not know of such things. If I do not faint, will you teach me these things? Do not frighten me, though, please.
1jaded1…..cocks in my inbox……*Beavis and Butthead laugh* Maybe you are too young for that joke? If you are, insert *that’s what she said* no offense hopefully.
LMAO Frenchie… oh my goodness!!!
You posed very well HG. Intense magnetism.
Ha ha thank you Leilani!
DC, would you really meet with Mr. Tudor in person? You wouldn’t be afraid? I know I would be.
I’m ever so charming Love, you have nothing to be concerned about.
Nah….he’s a marshmallow (with a drill)
Yes you are extremely charming and can read people very well. I’m sure you can pinpoint and exploit any weakness easily. Makes you quite scary.
You are correct Love.
and exciting…this is why I get into trouble!!!!
LOL DC,
Sometimes imagination can be….delicious…..
Men have to go through my mind before the get the behind 😉
Better be clear on the behind statement. In my world it is the ARSE> Ouch! Hate that! >
Behind = piece of booty
what piece? >
What part? Hahahaha…I’m a Capricorn, ANY PART. ***bats eyelashes like Lauren Bacall, 40s style****
Oh Indy, you naughty girl!! Shhhhh, my daughter is a Capricorn and mighty sassy…. I’d like to pretend she is an angel even though she is almost 18!
18….such a sweet time of my life….****chuckles****
😉
Ha ha, Indy I agree completely BUT I have said it a million times on here…I need to satisfy all 5 of my senses…. my eyes need candy! I cannot get it up (so to speak) with tubby, even if he has a brilliant mind!
Mind you, though, I have absolutely called it off with a perfect face and body because he was far from my kind of intellect. I would also be lying if I said that I haven’t been a naughty girl once in a while… but nothing would ever come of a gorgeous guy lacking the means to challenge my mind.
Yes, attractions has to be there too. For sure! It was one of the reasons it was so hard to leave my ex. He was so sexy and smart.
AH OH,
OMG, ha ha ha ha… right. I read that in another way but I totally see your side… well maybe you will send me a shot of that! 😛
Risky but I know people who found their love of their life and it is still good, in internet.
HG, why do you want to be more like human what is missig most in your life, sorry my english is not very good, thank you
Hello Viktoria, do you think I want to be more human?
humane? ***bad Indy, smacks her own hand*** 😉
Hg, I hope not, because it stinks being human like,we suffer alot and so on,I dont understand whay are you going to terapy you will suffer even more, i think that is much beter in your skin, dont change it. Sorry my english is not good
Conversation and words are certainly your forte HG!! I have never witnessed any performing better then you in this department! Have a wonderful day! Xxx
Thank you FM.
HG Tudor I cannot believe you must be truly Narcissitic to expose the tricks and games employed by “your kind.”
Nevertheless you help to express anger, astonishment and ultimately healing and empowerment in your posts.
The tactics are a revelation and knowledge is power.
I feel everyone should be enlightened about the dark creepy mind of Narcissism.
Give me your number and you can experience it for yourself ILJ.
You are really getting sassy HG, going through some rough patches? You looking for a new fuel line?
Do you think so DC, no rough patches here, in fact I am clean shaven as ever!
Oh clean shaven is my favorite… but if there is one thing I know for sure, narcs all have their days or several days, kind of like a womans time of the month. These days you seek more fuel than normal… positive to outsiders and negative from your primary…
Indeed we do DC.