20 Exaggerations
We would struggle without those twin helpers of exaggeration and embellishment as we make our mediocre achievements impressive and our decent accomplishments spectacular. Good for all occasions, a healthy and liberal sprinkling of exaggeration makes us far more appealing and alluring. Embellishing what I have done ensures I look far better than you and means that I remain the superior individual. Like salt and pepper at meal times, exaggeration and embellishment are never far from our kind. We make everything bigger, better, bolder, brighter and more brilliant. We love to magnify and multiply in order to convey just how great we are, yet, generous souls that our kind are it would not be fair if we did not allow you an opportunity to be seen to exaggerate and embellish, to make a mountain out of a mole hill and blow things out of proportion. Of course, when we provide this opportunity to you, it has none of the self-aggrandizing effects of our behaviour for ourselves but it used as an opportunity to make you see hysterical, unreliable and someone who is trying to pin the blame on us unfairly. We use exaggeration to inflate what we are but also as a means of attacking you. Here are twenty examples of using exaggeration and embellishment to undermine you.
- You are hypersensitive
- You are over-thinking what has happened
- You read too much into what I say
- You are paranoid
- You are seeing things which are not there
- You are making that up
- You have to be melodramatic don’t you?
- You aren’t that ill really.
- You are over-reacting.
- You are making a fuss over nothing.
- You have lost your sense of perspective.
- You take things too far at times
- You are going over the top with this now
- You press the panic button too soon
- You are making something out of nothing
- You are responding in a disproportionate manner
- You are getting over excited about this
- You are losing your sense of proportion
- You are putting two and two together and making eight
- You are jumping to conclusions
When you hear these comments being made by us, you should become aware that we are using such a comment to deflect what you are saying by trying to trivialise it by suggesting you are exaggerating its effect or importance. The use of phrases such as these are stock tells by us that you have landed a blow against us and we need to reduce its impact promptly. The easiest way to do this is to not only diminish the import of what you have said but then to make you question your own behaviour by making the conversation about you, rather than us. This will also provoke you by frustrating you. You are being denied the opportunity to advance your agenda and this will increase your emotional response. This not only gives us fuel, it also means that you lose sight of your point as you are derailed by conducting the discussion in a logical fashion as you are pushed by us into the territory of emotion. Once emotion has taken hold of your thinking we are far abler to exploit this to our advantage. Recognise these comments and understand their significance when you are engaging with our kind so you are able to withdraw from or neutralise their effect.
18 thoughts on “20 Exaggerations”
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21. You are delusional.
So whats the answer then? Don’t engage in conversation? Dont react (impossible!) We have split up over 3 months ago, yet he still has the ability to make my world fall down around me with 1 text message. Today hes going to take our child off me. Yesterday it was how noone will ever put up with MY shit again?!
So I made the move of ending it after 5 years of abusive hell. How do I now continue with my life without him still being able to destroy me?! Isn’t it exhausting being like this?? Because its exhausting dealing with it!!
Hello HB, the intention is to make it exhausting for you so that you cannot move forward. You need to go no contact. If you cannot do this, you must minimise all contact and only do so when absolutely necessary. If you then provide no or little fuel when you interact he will be forced to seek fuel elsewhere and will eventually leave you alone. Do you need to allow him to have your number? If not, change it. Read need to arm yourself to deal with this hovering, but by reading my work here and in my books, as well as asking questions, you will find a way to deal with him.
#3, #6, #9, #15 He did not have a chance to do more.
Any time I would question him or call him out regardless the approach I took, his exaggeration was the same every single time “You’re fucking crazy” *hits the blocked button. He did switch it up last time “Your fucking nuts” I so wanted to reply with just “You’re” so badly. I’m sure calling him out on his grammer would hurt his ego lol. Unfortunately he hit blocked before I could hit send. I have never experienced this “blocking” before. I absolutely hate it! I never questioned him in person. I just wanted to enjoy our time together and didn’t want to start an argument. I do wonder how he might handle being questioned in person when can’t just hit the blocked button to make it stop.
If you question him in person without giving fuel then you would wound him and ignite his fury. He would lash out at you, dependent on the situation and the type of narc he is, to try and draw more fuel from you. If you do not provide it he will be forced to withdraw and seek fuel elsewhere.
Mr. Tudor Sir, I like to fantasize about you being a nun with a raging hard-on, and you with your nun’s outfit are on top of me f*cking me slowly, and deeply, and then you start going down harder and harder on me, f*cking me (((hard))) and hitting the bed into the wall, making holes into the wall, from f*cking me so hard, and I’m screaming in uncontrollable bliss… and we are at it for hours and hours on end, hoping tjat the priest doesn’t walk in. (I do not mean any disrespect to any Catholics; it’s just a fantasy). And, I am sucking his c*ck deeply, in wholly desperate need, animal need, as it is protruding and throbbing out from underneath his nun’s garment. I just want to see all him cum fly out up against the walls no hos computer screen, and inside his shoes… and all over the kitchen counters before Grandma comes over for dinner..and we won’t clean it up
You are very angry, which is a bit of a worry (said by the most angry man ever).
You are too aggressive for me (said by the most verbally aggressive man ever).
You are such a narc.
You are such a bitch.
You are an idiot.
This old shit again…
How does one withdraw from their effect? Explaining how you feel gets you nowhere. Just ignore?
It is done to draw a reaction. Do not provide one. Either withdraw or state your case once, in a neutral tone. You will not give fuel and your refusal is likely to cause a wound. If you then withdraw, with no fuel coming from you, he will have to go elsewhere for it and leave you alone for the time being.
I did a good job withdrawing like you said when the direction of the conversation took the turn of malice missiles as you call them.
Twice he threw at me how I use “dime store” psychology to come up with my false reality and conspiracy theories about him. Except this last stretch when he hoovered I made it a point not to say anything remotely that would label him as anything. Wondering if I wounded him previously when I had and that’s why he’s do eager to throw at me again? Isn’t he deflecting at this point constantly criticizing how I “start off great then always trip up at the finish line with my mouth?”
Deflection indeed Clarence and of course looking to provoke the Fiery Irish Red Head in your so you respond and he gets more fuel.
Oh man, I thought you were going to talk strictly about “Big Fish” type of exaggerations.
Yes, there is never a happy medium with y’all. It is always one extreme to the other… blah blah blah If you call me out on your perception of what I said I will defend myself, if you persist I will submit. No need to fight over stuff that is really trivial. :/
So true, when one knows what buttons to push it doesnt matter how much time has passed….he knew just when and how to push. Do you ever just stop or is it until you get the reaction you want done publically? I feel as if I dont he will not let up. Sadly I can look the other way and give any excuse for it yet I know his reasons why.
Sorry dealing with some extreme mixed emotions at the moment. Yet again HG as always spot on!
I am hypersensitive. I am over the top. I am making something out of nothing. I always press the panic button. I am melodramatic. I always take things too far. I’ve totally lost my sense of perspective… If I don’t watch out, I’m going to lose the best thing that ever happened to me. And if I do, I should jump off a bridge and kill myself because I will be f**ked without you. And I am crazy, I’ll never get a guy to f**k me, never mind want to be with me…
All familiar lines. Thanks Judi.
He thinks I am stupid and tells me so at every given chance. I am so stupid that I caught him, kept my mouth shut while I got all the evidence I needed, then served the divorce papers. He seems to be scrambling although maybe he doesn’t really give a shit, you’d probably know more than me HG. But he loves his kids and is telling me over and over how he’s gonna tell them that it’s all my fault and they’re going to blame and hate me…
And he will probably do that too Judi which is why you need to plan how you are going to tackle him.
Wow, I’ve been on the receiving end of many of those.