You v Her

 

I have grown weary of the incumbent primary supply. The fuel that ought to be provided at a premium level has become diminished in quantity and quality. Whilst it still flows as part of the devaluation that continues, the time has come to audition for your replacement. I am courting you following my usual preparatory work once you have been targeted and I have now commenced your seduction. You are not alone. I am seducing someone else as well. It makes sense to have an insurance policy after all. You won’t know about this competitor (at least not yet) but believe me that when you are in the early stages of being seduced by our kind, it is highly likely that I was seducing someone else. In order to identify the best source of fuel so we choose the most effective primary source, we will set a number of tests. These tests are not so arduous that they will risk the seduction failing, but are designed to ascertain which of the two, or more, competing prospects provides the best fuel. This current performance amounts to a strong indicator of future performance. Here are ten of the tests that are commonly utilised.

  1. Sending the same text message to both prospects to see who responds the fastest.
  2. Sending the same text message to both prospects without concerns as to the speed of reply but as to which provides the best fuel-laden response.
  3. Arranging a date with both prospects and then cancelling (with a view to re-arranging of course) to determine who is the most disappointed and which of the prospects tries to keep the date alive by making adjustments and alternative suggestions.
  4. Calling both prospects in the middle of the night to see who answers.
  5. Sending the same gift at the same time to see who thanks us the fastest and in the most appreciative manner.
  6. If sexual coupling has occurred at this early juncture, then sleeping with you both in the space of 24 hours (or less) in order to determine who is the more fuel accomplished lover.
  7. Feigning a minor emergency and seeing who responds the fastest and with the greatest concern and compassion.
  8. Suggesting a date when I know that the prospects have something else on to see who will break their existing engagement in order to see me.
  9. Having a lieutenant try to arrange a date with you to see if you rebuff him and make mention of me.
  10. Holding a social media challenge to see how many likes, re-tweets, comments each prospect applies to my postings in a three-day period to see who posts the most and provides the most fuel.

 

Not only does this contest between the two prospects provide us with plenty of fuel coming from two fuel lines, it enables us to determine who we should focus our greater efforts on to ensure they are seduced and become our intimate partner and primary source. If the contest is too close to call after the ten tests above, then additional tests will be applied and the ten above will be re-run also. The winner becomes our intimate partner but the loser does not go home empty handed, not at all. They are likely to be awarded the status of inner or outer circle friend and they will be kept within our sphere of influence as a supplier of fuel. They also a future role to play in a prospective triangulation and there may even be a promotion in the offing at some point….

55 thoughts on “You v Her

  1. Megan says:

    Reblogged this on Megan's Test Site and commented:

    testing

  2. alexis2015s says:

    Hahah oh god these made me laugh so much !!

    Yes a fair few of these and when he didn’t get the reaction he wanted from me, he’d say, ‘I think I flirted with the wrong friend’.

    All that during lovebombing. I wasn’t falling for him but happy to play and I used to think, she’s bloody welcome to you. Oh how right I was !!

  3. Lisa says:

    Cody. Hmm yes. That could have been it. Being so naive at the time I would never have suspected that. Now I know better. I should have thought of that too. I guess Ill never know for sure. Not that it matters now, but every now and then, a question does pop up. Thanks.

    1. Cody says:

      Lisa, there was no way you could have known, or any of us could have known! But that was BHG (before HG). NOW we have the knowledge to be suspicious if we hear about a “lady friend” in the future. 🙂

      1. Lisa says:

        Oh yes Cody. Id be a lot more dilegent now for sure!! The mere sniff of another would send me running. And yes, I agree about the BHG thing. Thank God for him!

  4. Smoke says:

    Sometimes I wish I was just an affair and some way I guess I was. Primary takes the bad of everything the N feels. Although, HG I am curious how are those others treated as far as intimacy? Do you just reach out to them when you are bored and need a fuel boost? Do they know they are just there for sex? or is there more? or do you make them think there is more to get what you need?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The others are there for the purposes of fuel, triangulation, potential promotion to primary source if appropriate. Yes we will future fake with them to get what we need.

  5. Lisa says:

    HG. Back in the very begining of the so called relationship, he told me he had to let his other lady friend go, so he could be with me. At the time I suspected BS, bragging and jealousy making. I never did find out the truth. Whats your take on this? Liar liar pants on fire, or could have it been true? Could she have been his secondary at the time? Thanks heaps.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Without any independent evidence to corroborate what he said, one must proceed to assume that given he is one of our kind, that this was BS designed to make you feel special and thus give him more fuel.

      1. Cody says:

        Well, maybe he wasn’t lying about there being a “lady friend”. The lie was that he let her go. Sounds to me like Lady Friend was former primary who was in the process of being discarded and replaced by Lisa. But not gone. Never gone.

  6. 1jaded1 says:

    I’ll just observe.

    1. AH OH says:

      I am with 1J1, my dear sister wife of the magnificent 10, let us observed. No chuckling. It is not polite.

  7. Not fair for American-married women! You know, HG, I realized over these last few weeks, I have gotten pretty protective over you! What is this feeling? Perhaps jealousy? Hmmm…must perform inward reflection time 😉 – Don’t roll your eyes – your rolling your eyes – okay. No offense to any other runners up, but my vote is for Love <3 but it would be wise to all to keep him out of the States till after my inward reflection 😉

    1. Love says:

      Thank you Sarah! I will share my tiara with all the ladies on this blog. After all, we know one is never enough for dear Mr. Tudor. Now, I must go back to my xylophone practice. Let the competition begin! 😄

    2. bloody_elemental says:

      That`s how you`re supposed to feel about him.

      Look at you, all tangled in the web and not even trying to wriggle free.

      #dinnermadeeasy

      1. AH OH says:

        Can I sit with you B_E on the side and watch. I do love a good show.

      2. bloody_elemental says:

        There`s a spot right here, just for you.
        I`m more of a joiner than a watcher, depending on the situation.
        *wink

        1. AH OH says:

          I am thinking that this is strictly for watching. We do not need to be a part of this blood bath. We stand by to sooth him after his kills. WE WASH THE BLOOD OFF OF HIM. >

          1. HG Tudor says:

            I like your style.

          2. AH OH says:

            Thank you, most do. >

      3. bloody_elemental says:

        I like to get dirty. I am a fighter.

        Would you clean me up, too, AO? Or is the TLC reserved for HG only?

        1. AH OH says:

          Hmmm, it is a thought so it depends. Also do you reciprocate?

          Since when does he do the cleaning? You must be very special to get this attention and must be a chosen one. 😉

          >

      4. bloody_elemental says:

        I would only reciprocate in special circumstances.

        In any case, I like to lick my own wounds. And the wounds of certain others. I don`t mind being covered being dirty, since it`s rarely my blood that is spilled in battle.

        1. AH OH says:

          I agree BE. I have always had to lick my own wounds. Almost sad really. I guess females like us do not like the helping hand. I seem to desire to bite it more then grab it. We can be messy together. Actually I thinks this and I think of tousled hair and bed head PJs and coffee and laughing.

          Sent from my iPhone

          >

      5. Love says:

        He wouldn’t kill me Ah Oh. I’m too juicy of a fuel morsel to be wasted. He’d savor me and when he did bite down, it would only be to get more of my sweet rich nectar of fuel.

    3. AH OH says:

      The power you must weld Sarah. I am sure you would win the heart of the all powerful HG. Change him ,save him, teach him to feel love.

      Get in line sister, many before you have tried and there will be many more after you. And I do not use the word MANY lightly.

      1. Sarah says:

        AH OH, that is sweet of you to suggest, but that isn’t in my power nor will it ever be. I have no doubt there are MANY who have tried and will try and will supportively hope and cheer on, but for my entire life, people have tried to change me and I refuse unless it’s something I can do and still be me and want to or need to for whatever reason in my life – not because someone else wants me to, but I believe in change – it is my choice.

        As HG is superior, he will certainly never change for anyone but himself and does not want to change. Love is a liability to HG and he has said that. I respect that and think that people who try or rely on change in a relationship indirectly say, “You are not good enough as is” and that, is not in my opinion, love.

  8. chirose says:

    Oh HG…once again a brilliant and illuminating post.!!! I always suspected #1 and #2 and sometimes when I was overly suspicious (and right), I would play games right back. i.e. As in answering over the top one time and blandly another time to see if I received a different result. Not so very nice of me. Thanks for clearing the weeds 🙂

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome Chirose.

  9. ICGB says:

    I won

    by goin F.R.E.E.

  10. Snow White says:

    So this works right along with your triangulation doesn’t it? She had so many others taking the test. And I believe that a lot failed.
    When we were just friends she constantly tried to make me jealous with other people. I was happy for her when she went out and had a good time.
    This is how some of the nights went. She had to continually text me when she was out with them to say:
    We are getting close like you and I
    She dances with me just like you
    We are holding hands like you and me do
    Do you miss me
    I wish you were here
    You should be with me here right now
    She likes the same things we like
    You would like her
    And by the end of the night she did make me a little jealous and mad because she kept going and going
    It seem like a lot going on in one night. What was the main goal? I know she was getting fuel from many sources. Maybe it was just another test for me like Love was saying and I would eventually pass all of the tests.
    And then other nights I swear she made up the whole thing. She would say she was going to a bar by herself because she needed time to think and then tell me she met this person and then she would text me all about them. I timed her drive times quite a bit between my house and hers and to the bars and back and they never added up. But I always played along with it. I was blind.
    HG what goes through your mind when we play right into the story that you have just made up? Do you think we are stupid? Do you think that you are lucky and you can cross off that gullible trait off of your list? Are you amused? Or do you believe that it’s your power that you have? (That just came to mind as I was writing this) The power to make us believe anything?
    Sorry it was long but I do feel better after writing this. There were so many scenerios in my relationship that were like this. They all hurt me in some way. Thanks for listening as always.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      She was engaging in triangulation SW for the purposes of gaining fuel.
      What goes through our mind? if we are a Lesser, nothing, he operates hand to mouth and is busy enjoying the fuel. The Mid-Range will be pleased it is working and will make a note to use it again. The Greater will be laughing at how easy it is and yes it underlines our omnipotence.

  11. bloody_elemental says:

    “The loser does not go home empty handed, not at all.”

    But the loser is still the loser. When you lose, it means you weren’t good enough. When you lose, it means you don’t have what it takes to be number one. When you lose, it means you didn’t win.

    Shudders.

    1. That’s because he will keep the “losers” as secondary fuel sources and move one up if the IP isn’t performing as expected.

      Even the winners are not forever…

      1. Lisa says:

        Whats IP? Sorry, new to this. Having trouble understanding what some of the initial around here mean. Thanks. 🙂

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Hi lisa, it means Intimate Partner, so girlfriend/boyfriend, partner, spouse.

    2. Ah Oh says:

      As I stand to the side and watch the entertainment of the competition, I bid my time, I wait, I always win.

      1. bloody_elemental says:

        Good day, lovely AO.

        We always win because no one can compete with us. It is not possible.

        1. AH OH says:

          Hello Lovey BE. >

      2. Assertive… that is sexy.

  12. Love says:

    Sadly, it sounds like it was my privilege to have won that competition to be the reigning IP. How lucky was I?! I should have been crowned a tiara and walked down a catwalk in my bikini for the honor of being Miss Fuel Provider.
    😉
    In regards to #10, it is a tight race between a handful of posters on this blog. I’m part of the contestants. Gotta get my game face on, cause its stiff competition 😛

    1. And I will be here to pick up the pieces of the ones who lose… (no, I am NOT in competition, I do enjoy my new found gal-friends)

      1. Love says:

        No losers. We all are winners here 🏆🎉🎊

        1. Yes that may be but after this post… those who don’t make it will feel as such…

          We aren’t dealing with your average Joe, his name is HG and he is here for the show! (er fuel) 😉

      2. Love says:

        Lol, the talent show is the best part of the pageant. Ladies, get your batons, clarenets, pom poms, vocal cords ready!

  13. Insatiable Learner says:

    No offense, HG, but don’t you think these tests are very juvenile?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It matters not to me IL, the end always justifies the means. I am sure you can identify much of what we do as juvenile.

    2. bloody_elemental says:

      You haven’t seen anything yet.

      Just wait till we start throwing sand at each other and stealing each other’s lunch money.

  14. Oh that’s fabulous, because we just love rewind back to high school BS!
    I had a boyfriend once tell me that it would be nice if I would fight another girl to show my love for him…. I do not think so. If that is what a guy wants, she can have him.
    *Ain’t nobody got time for dat*, not to mention I, and I am sure other gals here, have no need to compete for a guy when there are a million others out there!

    I understand your need for the best fuel HG but that is VERY demeaning to a female… like we are incapable of receiving anything better. I think slowly but surely I am starting to see a bit more clearer…

  15. Cara says:

    Have to hedge your bets

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Exactly Cara.

      1. Cara says:

        I get it

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