Clear The Smear
Clear the smear !
The smear campaign is a well-used and devastating narcissistic tool. With the unrivalled insight provided by a narcissist, this book explains why they are used, why they are so effective, who is involved in them and why, why people respond as they do to them plus more fascinating insights and enlightenment. This book also provides practical and effective methods of countering the smear campaign to ally to your new found understanding.
Also available in paperback on Amazon
25 thoughts on “Clear The Smear”
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I am dealing with a narcissist that stalks me does things to me that nobody knows about. Undo and destroys projects. Lies and steals my things. Trys to sabotage things I working on. I ignore the hell out of him as much as I possibly can. There was a time I thought I would loose my mind. I m a lot better God my spiritual life has help me most. Dealing with these people is a living hell. Idiots.
Is there any hope for these creatures. May GOD help these miserable wretched souls. This must be a reprobate mind that the Bible talks about. These vile individuals are left to there own demise. It’s really sad when you really think about it. Before I was aware of what was going on I pleaded my narc to tell me what was going on and what was wrong with him and that he could talk to me that was a joke. So many red flags
Cave of Aquarius just wanted to mention narcissism can be repeated down the line very possible your children can be the same it’s happened to me ! I still live with my narc husband 32 years of this and I see it in his oldest daughter .
Hi I’m struggling. I was married to my ex husband, who I think is probably a narcopath? Acting out fake emotions, no empathy, no conscience, unfaithful, prolific liar. We have a 23 year son who lives with Dad and who I haven’t seen for 4 years despite sending letters txts on a weekly basis. When my son was just 15 his Dad ‘recruited’ him in his deceit by taking him on holiday with him and his mistress while I was oblivious, he basically used our son as his alibi and made him keep his sleazy secret. When I eventually found out 6 months later because his mistress blabbed everything when he dumped her I was devastated but never blamed my son and even then we had the best mother and son relationship ( I have the most forgiving nature ever) but after another 2 years of trying to save my 20 year marriage and much toing and frowing I met my current loving genuine partner and broke free of my ex 😅 unfortunately since then my ex has launched a terrible smear campaign against me and my ex’s family do not speak to me and my son won’t see me? This is a man who is a serial cheater, liar (even lied about having cancer 😈) !! What can I do to retrieve my relationship with my son, everything I think I should l just appears to make me look bitter and a psycho??????
Ok, as I was reading one of the comments, she is saying she felt she had to keep defending herself. That is how I feel. Things are always twisted to try and make me look bad. Is one of things I shouldn’t do, is defend myself?
In my case the narcissit is my mother she had me from a 1 night stand & wanted to have an abortion but my grandpa didn’t let her im 50yrs old she never took care of me my granny did she’s hated me all my life I married another Narc had 2 children now a son of 28yrs old & a daughter of 25yrs i divorced their dad when they were 12 & 10 & my mother came in full force she started poisoning my son against me (my Step Dad loved me) but he had to live with my mother he had an awesome relationship with my son thats why my Narc mother pulled & poisoned my son first my son has come in & out of my life more times than i can remember and always left me broken with pain
My dad died 6yrs ago & since that happened my Narc mother told me I couldn’t have an abortion because your grandpa didn’t allow me & now that your Dad has died i don’t want to see you again in my life
I haven’t seen my daughter since & my son hasn’t come back into my life for 3yrs now & he has a baby boy of 9 months who i haven’t met because he doesn’t want me anywhere near him & the pain is excruciating.
My mother has bought my mids a flat each money is not a problem and always plays with it
She knows that I love my children more than anything in my life & she’s using them to hurt me without any consideration as to how it may effect their health my son had a very severe nervous breakdown when he was in University heost 20 kilos had acrophobia and OCD my daughter had anxiety in university too & they say that its all due to me when they weren’t even talking to me!
My mother has lied about me to my children and to everyone she has wanted to & Im broken because of all that my children have suffered and still are & because i would love to have them in my life.
Yet in my heart I think it will not happen until my mother dies
I have a Narassict Mother, she constantly puts my sibling against me, we did not speak for over ten years but now we do and she’s a great support but my mother causes issues still to this day, I’m at a loss to how to deal with this, she now has a smear campaign against me and her granddaughter she brought up, it feels like it will never end… Even when she dies I do not think the family will heal now were head to head over a child in the family she doesn’t care about him just being right at his cost.. Lost in what to do.its exhausting. Bess
My favorite quote from my ex-husband in almost every response email regarding our children is “In your quest to paint me as a bad parent with your one-sided false allegations in your continued attempts to impune me….” or some variation of that theme. The best tactic is to only communicate what’s absolutely necessary, and unfortunately when children are involved, no contact is not an option in the eyes of the very easily manipulated court system! You can’t defend yourself against the smear campaign so it’s not even worth trying. Take the high road, be a good person and support and protect your children while you move on. Let the narc wear themselves out trying to make you miserable…that’s their problem. Because if they are anything like my children’s father they are a lazy, lying egomaniac with an entitlement complex and have plenty of spare time to calculate a next move while your working to take care of your children. He/they feel much more intelligent than everyone else and he should not be forced to work any job that is not in his ideal career path even if there are young children to care for cloth and feed! They have no guilt, they have no conscious. They will never be truly happy but you can be. You will never make them feel guilty because they don’t care unless it’s for or about themselves. Boils down to ignore all the BS, do what’s best for you (and children) and those that truly matter will recognize the truth.
Hi HG Tudor, some of us who are on a Narc. support site read and watch you videos often. Thank you so much for you wisdom. We were wondering how do you have so much inspiration to write as much as you do DAILY….LOL You out write many out there. It is great too when Karma comes and smears the Narc. on the internet. Does he feel anger, shame, embarrassment. Maybe the first time it happened. Now it is probable feeding his ego. He is someone you can search for and there it is everything written of him. His girlfriend, I think it hurts her more. Anyways, It doesn’t add to my life. A moment of happy, then it is gone. I just want him gone from my memory. I have hate and anger for him. I do not see him as a human-being. He does everything with INTENT. Regards A Fan
Hello Just Me, thank you for getting in touch. My mind is always racing with the knowledge I wish to convey, I have plenty more to share. If we are smeared on the internet, dependent on how it is done it will either be fuel or it will amount to criticism so that it wounds us and ignites our fury. If there is “testimony” against a narc, the he will look to discredit it, have it removed, accuse the writer of bias, libel and so on, whatever it takes to avoid the impact of the truth.
Excellent thank you!
I don’t have a kindle. Is there another way to get this book? Amazon shows kindle as my only option 🙁
Some are available as paperbacks. You don’t need a kindle. You can download the free kindle app to any electronic device and read them that way.
Ordered it last night, can’t wait!!
What do you do when you don’t know exactly what they told others? And, that person is dead now-died of brain cancer right after turning my daughter against me. It’s been 8 years now since she decided I wasn’t worth being in her life. I admit, I have probably fueled the fire because I sent her ugly letters, mostly defending myself, but also defiling her father. I haven’t had contact of any kind with her for 4 years now. I KNEW her father much more than she did, living with him in an intimate relationship for 15 years, I know what he did. Please, no hate, I have experienced enough! I have grown in leaps and bounds because of inner reflection of myself and contemplating why some things were said and done, by me. I am NOT looking for sympathy, a lot of what happened because of how I reacted to things. I know that. Like I said, I have grown since then.
Let’s just say I am totally heartbroken. I get up every day and do what I have to support myself and my family-husband and son who is still in my life and kisses my cheek and tells me he loves me when we part. But, underneath my strong exterior is a sad, broken person.
Hello Cave of Aquarius (interesting name by the way) if I am understanding correctly you have lost contact with your daughter because your now deceased ex smeared you to her and you also made the matter worse because in your attempt to defend yourself you wrote some things which whilst understandable caused problems. You do not know what was said to your daughter by your smearing ex. The only way to address this is to ask her to meet with you and explain you want to listen to hear and make things right between you. If she will not respond, consider whether a third party might be able to broker something. If not, leave it be for a few months and then try again. You will be able to clear the smear but you need to know what it was and the only person who can tell you is your daughter. You need to unlock her silence.
Thank you for sharing and for all the replies. I’m just learning about this naraassistic stuff and the smear campaign. I’ve been tempted to defend myself and my oldest son has had to defend me. My youngest son (28) told me last June that I divorced his father and didn’t deserve to be his mother at his wedding. I did not attend his August wedding. I know the comment was more the influence of my ex (who died 10 months before), his stepmother (who had a 2 yr affair with my ex which caused my divorce), and my ex’s family. In totally blind-sided by this parental alienation. The boys were 3 and 5 when we divorced and I was award primarily physical residency. I’m sure the smear campaign was going on somewhat during those years, however, I’ve seen hints of it in the last 5 or 6 yrs and it seems to have escalated in the last year since my ex’s death. The only time I’ve defended myself was in June last yr when I was told I didn’t deserve to be his mother at his wedding. That’s when I diveldged that his dad and stepmother had a 2 yr affair which caused the divorce. My boys are now 29 and 31. My youngest has been distancing himself since 2010 when he graduated from college. Its so painful as my boys totally adored me. My youngest one has smeared me to my mom, my oldest, his new wife and her folks. It’s so painful that I didn’t see my boy get married. I’m so glad i read this before I tried to defend myself more. Its been Thanks for sharing.
Hi Cave of Acquarius,
It must be very painful to be rejected by your own daughter. Does your daughter have regular contact with her father’s family of origin? If so, they could be the ones who have been and are still turning your daughter against you. It does not matter if they are nice to you when you see them or if they invite you to family functions. Anyway, do not give up and try to speak to your daughter. If she responds aggressively, there must be a least one individual who is smearing you. Try to find out who your daughter is having contact with but do this very carefully. Do not tell your daughter she is being manipulated/brainwashed by others. This will make things worse. Do not mention anything (positive or negative) about her father or anybody else. Speak only about yourself and how you feel. You can tell her you love her, you respect her decisions and that you will always be there for her whenever she needs it no matter what, without pressuring her to have a relationship with you. She will have to figure it out for herself. I wish you all the best.
Sometimes you have to let somethings workout over time. Defending yourself makes it worse. The truth eventually surfaces without you having to mumble a word. And you get better results. The pretender will be revealed. The mask slips over time.
Hi Ramona,
Thank you for your kind words. I wish their mask would slip. This may apply to some narcissists like Lessers who cannot control their emotions and behaviour but not to those who have Machiavellian traits and are vindictive. I have been smeared several times by different narcissists for over fifteen years and the truth has never come out.
Many narcissist are very good at manipulating *perception*. They are nice, helpful, decent people to everyone except to their victim. Their friends, colleagues and acquaintance *never* get to see their dark side.
Isn’t it amazing how they can pretend to be such upstanding decent honest forthright to the general public .Use your good name to get ahead then be a vile horrible monster to the victim. Invisible abuse.
Cave of Aquarius
The most horrendous smear is to get kids against their parents.
Its absolutely demonical.
I am experiencing something similar although in a different way.
Its the most painful wound.
I feel for you.
This is an excellent book for anyone who has been the target of a smear campaign. HG Tudor does not only describe what it is said about the target but also HOW lies are told in order to be believed by everyone. This is why smear campaigns are so effective.
What I also liked about this book is that the author provides useful advice to counteract them and also, if possible, to avoid them in the first place.
Personally, I wish that people who have not been smeared before read this book to realise the injustice done to an individual and not to help the perpetrator destroy other people’s lives.
It is easy to blame the victim when someone has never experienced what it is like to be on the receiving end.
Thank you for the endorsement EB I appreciate that.
You’re welcome, HG.