I Vow to Thee
You will recall saying this when we got married. You said this as a vow. A binding contract witnessed by God. You agreed to it. So, when it all goes wrong (as it will invariably will) what will happen? I won’t divorce you. You can be sure of that. That will take too much of my time and energy and I also want to keep you connected to me (see Fantastic Elastic) . If you decide to divorce me then you will face my full wrath. How dare you have the audacity to take such a step? You are alleging that I have done something wrong when we all know the reason was that you imagined we had problems in our marriage. Admittedly, I had the grounds to divorce you, based on your unreasonable behaviour in moaning, questioning and nagging me, but I persevered. I would not let the institution of marriage be sullied by your behaviour and I ploughed on. Now you have chosen, on false grounds, to divorce me. How could you? I have done nothing wrong. I gave you everything (in the beginning) and now you suggest that I am inferior in some way that you wish to part from me. Not a chance in hell.
If you thought being married to me was torture, try divorcing me. I will evade service of papers repeatedly so the process is slowed down. I will repeatedly change lawyers (because they don’t say what I want to hear and thus they are incompetent) and seek adjournments (continuances) based on those changes. I will reach an agreement with you and then deny I ever did. I will reach an agreement then breach it. I will dig up every and I mean EVERY sleight you cast in my direction and use it against you. You will be staggered at my recall of such (imagined) events which I will list and detail. I will up my charm offensive over your lawyer (who clearly fancies me by the way – he or she) and also over the judge. I will pay lip service in court to orders and soft soap the judge who will be taken in by my façade of calm, pleasant reasonableness (seen this before perhaps?) and you will be the one churning with rage as another hearing is delayed or goes against you. My assets will be hidden. I will not make support payments. I will deny the existence of assets. I will hound you. I will harass you and if you involve the police I shall switch to my charming self again in an effort to paint you as the aggressor. I will strain every sinew and muster every brain cell to outflank you in the hope that you will give up or concede ground to what I want. Divorce me and you will understand the concept of TOTAL war.
13 thoughts on “I Vow to Thee”
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And this is why I never married and will never marry…anyone…ever.
Well, I got my divorce. Was too easy. He signed the papers no problem. Hmmm. Didnt see that coming……until….now, with the last hoover (yes, even after the divorce), he TOTALLY embarrases me in public by getting drunk, singling me out in front of dozens of people, pointing and raging “SHE DIVORCED ME DIDNT SHE..ALL I WANTED WAS SOME HAPPINESS…FKN LOVELY THAT ONE…YEAH THAT ONE OVER THERE!” (all because I totally ignored him and refused to acknowledge him for weeks), Omg…followed up by a letter stating “we are not divorced! Your papers mean NOTHING to me”! Moral of the story….Dont be fooled. You will never be free!
Wow!!! The service was planned for 2 1/2 months after the relationship ended. I was going to have a commitment ceremony and that sat wrong in my gut all along. But I was going to go through with it. When I told her that was one of the reasons I was ending it she the tried to tell me she was going to surprise me and legally marry me. I will never know if that’s true but I’m glad I escaped just in time. I’m sure it was more future faking on her part.
That kind of war would have killed me.
Holy crap!!
Good morning Mr. Tudor,
are you beliebig in god? Are you christian?
What doch you think about narcisstic people and their Religion? When somebody is seems a catholic, ging to church and praying before having a meal. Is that a bait, too?
Anamira
Hello AS, only when the need arises. Religion attracts many of our kind, what better way to play a god by hanging on the coat-tails of another.
well I guess we are not getting married then.
I love your honesty. Thank you!
Jesus Mary and Joseph… this is exactly what happen.. all I can say is thank you…for your honesty.. also would like to know if helping us through and giving out this wonderful info is helpful to you and has made you think .. (or is that my way of thinking.) so crazy it’s like the third person scenario .or is it more fuel for you
You are welcome All Done. It is certainly increasing my awareness.
The narcissist I was involved with was actually the one who filed for divorce from his wife. How often does it happen as opposed to the other way around, HG? Thank you!
I have no empirical evidence to give a definitive answer IL, but in anecdotal terms I would suggest that the incidence of the narcissist divorcing the victim will be far less than the other way around.
Hi IL. Mine did after being separated from his 2nd wife after 10 years. ONLY because he wanted to marry me though. Now WE are divorced, but he says we are not and never will be!! He signed the papers even, no problem. I did think that was odd, but at the time I just went with it to get it done. Hello hoover………again.