The Narcissistic Truths No. 5
34 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths No. 5”
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https://youtu.be/Cjy71RPGnkA
The only song on my playlist 🖤😘
Lol 😂
I feel so foolish lol he definitely did this to me in the beginning.
This song played in my m d while wth my ex.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ek0SgwWmF9w
It is interesting, my ex never used this method. In fact he didnt relate to music with me. I wanted an “our song”…nope and he would not identify one…..probably because I wanted it. Music has a strong effect on me.
He used it as triangulation, like referencing an album that reminded him of his depression after his divorce. I never gave him jealousy fuel so he stopped referencing it. He even said, “you’re not the jealous type, are you?” I knew that game.
That’s quite interesting.. It was different with my last one, than it was with any of others.. I actually almost fell for her…. She just reminded me too much of others from way back when, with who I have some unfinished business I guess. A lot of pain, a lot of confusion, longing.. Agony that things are the way the are and nothing in the world can change them. Stages of grief even still while in a “relationship”. But yes even that relationship was “different” and so she did not really send me much in terms of songs, I think she knew better, but after my second attempt to exit (three was a charm) she sent me Annie Lennox’ Vampire Love Song… and in part being an upper mid-ranger, with behaviors mostly of a victim, “the world is against me because i am transgender” kind of thing, but the planning and understanding of the greater, with waning charm and now 58, so waning beauty, so no more girls lining up for that “rockstar” looks (albeit all fake, wasn’t really a musician, while being a good with pen and pencil in various ways).. you know, I understood that song, I knew why she sent it to me.. There was a degree of truth to it, even if it was an attempt at a hoover. She knew I knew, and she didn’t hide it anymore. It was almost this silent moment of cease-fire, where both of us sat there understanding our predicament for a second, I with hating the circumstance and without plotting.. her im sure the same but with tentacles of her narcissistic/sociopathic nature wigging all about looking for the next meal, but there was this sense of odd connectedness for a second to something at the core of both of us.. despite the rotten situation we found ourselves in. I felt how frienzied she was for control, and she knew i felt that. I wasnt angry, or upset.. I was just morning what she could have been if not for what she has become. Sometimes I have a feeling she does the same, she mourns herself, I’ve seen it in her art.. even if in a completely foreign to me way.
This was one of the first things I learned from this blog. It was eye opening. I just thought she liked music lyrics. My morning routine was
Good morning text
Good morning phone call
Song selections to look up on you tube on my way to work almost every day.
That’s how she took up my whole morning.
I agree 100% with Nikita that it was hypnotizing. Now some of the songs I listen to I recognize as warnings. Dark Horse by Katy Perry and Blank Space by Taylor Swift are some. Most were loving songs. It created that Ever Presence for me more than anything else. I can control a lot of it now. Great advice from HG.
That’s one thing I don’t like about being in the stores is that I don’t know what music will be played. And that adds to the anxiety. It’s sensory overload for me.
Of all the abuse heaped on us by the narc – my narc – the worst has been the use of music as a weapon. I am a musician and music historian I adore music so not being able to endure the flashbacks and pain my music brings to me has been harsh punishment…he invaded every joy and pleasure I knew in my life…I did not know what he had done till HG explained…the ever presence…the abuse of all my senses …I have been struggling for 9 months and I must say the inability to listen to music has been the most hurtful, the most painful. I have been fortunate in the last few days as I have discovered “DAWES” and their 2015 Album “All Your Favorite Bands”. It did not hit me that the entire album is a man’s journey thru a female narc relationship.until I listened to it repeatedly (wondering why I could manage listening to this new music and lyrics) without the “ticks” I suffer when I hear music or every airplane that flies over head. This album, like HG’s work, are new comforts for me…oh! and all you contributors! I dig you all ox
The ONLY song that reminds me 🙂
Yes! This one is a perfect reminder So Sad!
The N and I were traveling, Pink’s song about love being bent not broken was playing – N got weepy , I just tried not to be ill (I’d have to clean it up, you know.)
THIS song followed…I hadn’t laughed so hard in a long time. The N was confused. That made it more amusing. Lolol
Thank God this is the one area that has no affect on me as far as someone trying to “share” feelings through a song. Either tell me direct or I’m not paying attention to it.
The only songs I received were AFTER I left, I even received a video of him singing for me. I guess I am a lucky gal… 🙂
He didn’t taint anything that I love – of course we didn’t have much in common.
This is his song to me. I like this song.
https://youtu.be/qmFRXwYKQwU
A proper reminder of how music can heal the harm a narcissist has done.
https://youtu.be/Bq0ZuCCPKz4
I can’t seem to open any of the blogs titled narcissist truths can someone please send me a link to them. Very interested. Thank u.
Hello Jen. There is no article with them as they are memes.
I forgot to say above that the freedom I got from the blog was having understood why I had fallen so many times in the past Jan to June 2015 .., this blog was not existing yet ..
and although I saw him for the last time on the last day of 2015 .. I was convinced that I had been in this entanglement because I was a codependant.. but with this and other HG contributions like the tool kit, the whore blog ..https://narcsite.com/2016/06/09/whore/
by the end of June I had it clear that it was all a manipulation and it was not me being a codependant so high in the spectrum as I thought but I had freedom forgiving myself. I had been highly manipulated. i opened my eyes to believe there are people who are extremely highly manipulative and can manipulate with music , with words with everything. The whore blog was also pretty enlightening… It is a good feeling of freedom to understand what happened and let go of the chains the self-blame and self shame weigh down on the recovery part.
He left, I understood, forgave myself.. FREEDOM… because as you say .. the chains remain way after they are gone.. and even after the last day I saw him.. the chains of blaming myself for the sufferement stayed with me until OUT OF THE FOG with the whore article and the music article and of course all the books in the background.. Finally 6 months after chains of guilt and doubt were broken.. Only then you are really free from a narcissistic relationship.
Because even if they are not succesful with the hoover, but the fact that a somg or a smell can turn the world upside down , even if its for 30 minutes.. you are not yet free. Free is when you can clearly see what happened and the somgs, the places the memories.. dont cause any disturbing emotion. Only then we are free.
I can certify myself N-free 100% thanks to this blog and only to this blog.
One of the most painful truths.
ONE STEP INTO FREEDOM . THANKYOU HG …
https://narcsite.com/2016/06/16/proxy-music/
Good bye for ever .. I remember the effects this song had on me its unbelievable when I look back to 2015. Just listening would made me cry rivers.
https://youtu.be/TPXjAsj1M_I
this is a very nice sooon !!!! 😃😃😂 in fact
If its okay with you HG would like to post the two main songs of my hipnosis based on my vulnerabilities.
https://youtu.be/YDA8g72ZCTY
This was the way I fell in the hoover so many times. ITS 100% effective. Hoover with With music. Direct into the spiderweb. Its like hypnosis. He profited that for me is horror saying if somebody leaves and from the beggining I was hipnotized from this ” bon voyage song” which played all the time and eventually the last time I saw him that he indeed took a plane and called me from the airport after sending me the song link by whats app … ” cherish” from cool and the gang and several others which really hipnotized me…. until in this blog I understood how that worked and then.. it lots all of its power. ALL OF IT .. I hope that blog about music helped so many people like it helped me.
As long as it isn’t Smooth Jazz.
Nice!
HG…that wasn’t an invite…but now you do know how to turn me off.
Or progressive. But this could be apropos. I always feel discombobulated when I here this style of jazz. Perfect for the confusion they set you in.
True AH OH. It is discombobulated. A job I had demanded classical music. While coworkers grumbled, I loved it. The only time we could play other stuff was when Opera time was on…and the other stufff = jazz. I usually pretended to not notice that Opera was on.
Works everytime,
Exactly well said. Works every single time until you know it.
I do believe HG. Mine sent me “Make you feel my love”- Adele, “Jar of Hearts- Christina Perri, “I’m not the Only One” -Sam Smith. I think he was trying to tell me something? No?! Lol
I always have used songs for bait. Music is powerful and lyrics are strong messages.
Are you baiting me? He he he…
I agree music is powerful, it is not just the lyrics but in also in symphony each instrument has a part and together they can create such a beautiful melody whether it it be angry, happy, sad or love… it all tells a story, it speaks to our souls and minds.
I remember when my daughter and (when I had a step daughter) were younger, I used to have them listen to symphony music on the way to school and tell me what stories they hear in the music. I loved their little minds creating from these songs… <3
When you attend an Opera or Ballet, the music creates the emotional feeling of each character, this is music to me and I feel it in my heart! 🙂