The Super Empath
It is well known that our kind target those who have empathic traits. Just like those of my persuasion operate on a spectrum, those who exhibit empathy do so as well. There are those we might regard as the “normals” those people who have some narcissistic traits and some empathic traits. As ever, when I use the words empathic and empathetic I state them with reference to certain traits such as empathy (clearly), honesty, kindness, decency and such like. I do not use the words in the sense of being in tune with the world and the environment. The normal are in the centre, possibly leaning one way towards my kind or the other way towards your kind. It is extremely rare for a normal to be ensnared as primary source because put simply, they do not cut the mustard. Their emotional responses are not sufficient, their empathic traits whilst evident are not sufficient to either bind to us or provide us with the fuel that we need. Such a person would easily pass a homeless person begging, a person crying alone on a bench or somebody who had fallen off their bike and injured themselves. They are self-absorbed but not to the degree that our kind is. They will help if they really have to, but they do not go out of their way to act in a way that causes harm to anybody else.
Thereafter come those who are empaths. Empaths are always targeted as primary sources. They often fulfil secondary roles as well. They are rarer in a tertiary source position since if they are an empath, they would be better suited to either being a primary or secondary source. We would not want those empathic traits to go to waste. The empath has a good range of empathic traits those of honesty, decency, having a strong moral compass and being a good listener, just to list a few of them. They may not have all of the empathic traits that we look for, but they will have several and exhibit them in a concentrated form. Thus this person would look to donate to a charity, hand a wallet in that was found in the street, help a stranger who is in distress, sit and listen to somebody who has problems and acts of a similar nature.
Next comes the Super Empath. This person is not a co-dependent. Both the Super Empath and the co-dependent have many, if not all of the empathic traits that we look for and they have them to a stronger degree than the empath. For example, both might take the homeless person under their wing and take them to a shelter, maybe even house them themselves for a period of time. They would try and locate the person who had lost their wallet in order to hand it back in person rather than say hand it in at a police station first. They will listen to the person with problems and then offer practical solutions to resolve those difficulties. The co-dependent gains validation from such acts through giving and has to do this to an excessive degree even when it goes beyond what is good for themselves, such is their inherent addiction to the act of giving and selflessness. The co-dependent may not actually be that strong an individual (they are in the sense of the abuse that they can soak up) but they are not strong as they have no identity to assert, they must form one through self-flagellation, giving and not taking. They are masochistic in nature, driving themselves to the point of collapse and illness because they lack the strength to escape and the desire to do so from the clutches of our kind. Lesser Narcissists and Mid-Range Narcissists hook up with co-dependents especially because they give, give and give but do not fight back. They challenge themselves, blame themselves and always make excuses for their abuser.
The Super Empath is also a giver but whereas the co-dependent is masochistic in this giving, the Super Empath does so from a position of strength. They hold their ability to empathise, to heal, to fix and impart goodness as a great gift and one which ought not to be abused. They are drawn to our kind less because of the co-dependent’s need to seek validation of identity through a narcissist, but more because they are initially attracted to the apparent emotional output of the narcissist. The false strength which the narcissist exhibits at the outset of the seduction, the confidence, the apparent satisfaction with his self, that he appears comfortable in his own skin, at ease with others, capable of lighting up a room and so forth is a huge attraction to the Super Empath because that person actually sees something of themselves in the narcissist when the narcissist is seducing. That is not to state that the Super Empath is a narcissist. Far from it. But the Super Empath is just as engaging as the narcissist and thus there is a mutual attraction. The Super Empath is also more challenging to the narcissist and therefore is usually the recipient of some Mid-Range narcissists and most often the Greater Narcissist. This is not because the Super Empath is awkward or reticent but rather she will be forthcoming with her empathic traits once she feels that they have been earned. Accordingly, the narcissist must put the extra miles in, in terms of seduction to ensnare the Super Empath. This person needs to be coerced into sharing the fruits of their empathy but once that trust has been earned, once the gate has been unlocked the benefits are huge. The Super Empath shines with empathy, glows with decency and pours forth delicious fuel.
This continues during devaluation. The empath and co-dependent are easier to “break” in terms of causing negative fuel to flow. The Super Empath is made of sterner material and will resist the negative machinations of the narcissist at first. This may result in the narcissist dis-engaging if he does not feel able to impact on the Super Empath and seeking fuel elsewhere. The Greater knows who he has ensnared and knows once again he must unlock the fuel source, this time negative, of the Super Empath and once it is done the tidal wave of fuel is to be enjoyed. The Super Empath will remain, wanting to fix the narcissist, exhibiting again the same empathic traits of others on the empathic spectrum, but again being made of sterner stuff, their descent towards numbness and malfunction is far slower than that of the empath. The Super Empath will keep providing the fuel but deteriorates at a slower rate. The risk factor however with a Super Empath is that their own personal integrity is greater than the empath’s and very much greater than that of the co-dependent and consequently of all these three classes of empath, the Super Empath is the one more likely to make a bid for escape and thus leave the narcissist with a cessation problem.
The challenge of unlocking both positive and negative fuel proves an attraction for the right type of narcissist because this allows him to assert his superiority and enjoy the challenge. The reward is magnificent. Excellent fuel and such that deteriorates at a much slower rate. The downside is the potential for the Super Empath becoming “aware” of what is happening, becoming unwilling to dedicate further energy to staying with the narcissist to fix and to heal and thus escaping. The Super Empath requires fairly careful management by our kind, but the rewards always mean that this person is a challenge which is often accepted.
73 thoughts on “The Super Empath”
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I think that the Super Empath can identify with the narcissistic behaviors and justifies them more easily. That is why we hang in there so long. Much of the interaction wasn’t perceived as abuse. Sharing traits In common made me feel closer to the narcissist, like minds, and kept me there for a longer period.
My NarcMom taught me how hurtful the silent treatment can be and as an adult is bothered greatly by my ability to shut her out and ignore her. I went no contact with her and others many times which is the same, to me, as a discard. My Greater “the pain bringer” had such control over his emotions that he had a calming effect on me as well. I was not a good appliance for him bc I felt uncomfortable gettting upset… since he was so calm. Eventually he began to lash out trying to get me to feel openly. But when I’m hurt I lash out with silence (thanks mom) and this provided no fuel. When I finally did break and give negative fuel he looked relieved but scared. He didn’t like my observations of him. “Jessica, you are really over reacting!”
“No.. I am just finally reacting!”
Narcissistic weapons used against an unsuspecting empath are a sad thing to behold. An empath using these weapons against the narcissist is a beautiful thing and causes them to destabilize. Again, Thank You! I always felt like a bad person for these traits but now I know they were my only chance to survive.
Hahah. Narcissists, The Greater or not, only have one chance with a Super Empath. The Super Empath would have such an exchange once with the likes of you, then learn from it and escape quite easily in the future from your kind altogether.
Not necessarily the case.
Wow!
Reading these comments in these categories by those who consider themselves to be Super Empaths is incredulous to say the least. The large majority of you don’t seem to have an empathetic bone in your body. You mock and demean anyone you consider sub standard to your superior self. Do you also make fun of people in wheelchairs too?
Amazing article! Certainly explains why he was so persistent! He couldnt close the deal though lol! I think he got frustrated and took up with some low hanging fruit (i would say a normal or maybe a BPD) i got the impression that she was intended to be more of a interim arrangement/weapon while he continued to try and work me over with a smear campaign/triangulation/hoover attempts.
I know he collected information about me, observed me etc. Is there such a thing as a lazy narc in that they do the groundwork but never go for the kill?
Either way, this super empath was like: naw thats cute.. at least you tried… im outty, d^(khead!
The twist? He married the stage five clinger! Hahahah!
Thank you, HG, for clarification/ clearing up. Just picture, that virus would mutate us into you. Horrible imagination. Female narcs all around the world.
You are welcome Mona.
Why is it that the more I know the more I want him back? I want to dance with him, play his game, see through him, read his mind, pretend to love him, to hate him but only as a DLS…
Because of the effect of the emotional infection. See the books No Contact and Exorcism.
I cannot agree to you, HG. I do not believe that we are so emotionally infected that we become ugly and bad like you. The only thing I want is: justice. I do not think, I lash out at “normal” people, just to have my fun and exploit them. You lashed out at all females, no matter, if they are good or bad. You lashed out at all people, who do not accept your self-crowned dream of everlasting superiority.
That was not what I wrote. The reason you keep thinking about us and wanting to interact with us is caused by the emotional infection. It is nothing to do with what causes me to act as I do. They are completely different catalysts.
I know that feeling MTS
i feel the same..
and how helpless we feel in trying to brake contact.. almost impossible…
a very dangerous addiction ..
I’m confused now. Can’t decide if I’m a Carrier or a Super Empath. Someone should develop a personality test for empaths. Lol.
“Super Empathy” NO LONGER TO THE RESCUE!! LOL 😉
So good!! Takes me to the next level of understanding I need about myself!! Thank you
Spot on. I am highly HIGHLY attracted to Greater Narcissists because I recognize in them qualities that I possess (even though we clearly have polar opposite core motives). This results in a quandary…
Enjoy each other in the moment, even if it reveals itself to be a temporary fulfillment?
Or…
Not bother with narcs at all and give up the addictive emotional highs, the adrenaline rush The Greater excels at by dating my more empathic male counterpart (who is often less skilled and refined)
The time is not technically a waste, even though what I really desire is longevity and a life partner, but damn… I haven’t come across an empathic man yet who has a modicum of the qualities that make me and The Greater come alive together, both in bed and out.
Such a shame (for me, at least!). 😉
Perhaps I’ll get lucky someday and find both sides of the coin. Does that paradox exist in a man? Or, maybe I’ll keep running off and cutting them loose when they eventually flip the switch to “devalue-mode”; when I begin to detect the subtleties of an impending discard. (I have standards and self-respect, too). It always hurts, but the attraction to narcissists never dies for me. I live to please until the moment I am betrayed and I retreat.
You have quite the refined perspective for the nuances between the degrees of our opposing (albeit complementary) typologies as narcs and empaths. Your insight is something few narcissists would have the “generosity” or sophistication to share. Altruism and philanthropy from a place of selfishness and grandeur? Helpfulness for victims of narcissistic abuse brought about by the endless quest for fuel? Well played. The intellectual in me enjoys it despite your callousness. I’m forever a moth to the flame, even when it’s just eloquent words I absorb from the glow of a screen.
Thank you for the read!
You’ve just described me. Exactly. x
Thank you HG. Me, being a newbie, probably doesnt help at this stage either.. lol. Perhaps another time…. 😉
Hi HG. Ive never really been sure what my personal role is in all this. Empath, Super Empath or Co-dependant. Im thinking now, perhaps S’ Emp. Still not 100% sure though. Can you tell as yet, by our comments, what we might be? Do you have a feel for example of what type I may be? I usually go from one thing to another, but have doubted I was a Co-dependant. Any thoughts on me personally, at this stage? T I A. 🙂
Hello Lisa, the work on the various empathic divisions has yet to be completed and therefore I shall reserve judgement at present.
Are there sub categories on Co-dependants?
Yup
Future article?
Yup
Man of many words today. Ok.
Wow. Thanks. I’m not just “Lovie”, I’m “Super Lovie”. 😜
Reblogged this on NarcMagNet69x96.
I can’t believe you have this awareness of all our parts. Definitely a conscious engineer ready to dismantle.
It explains so much about my family. My father was ALWAYS studying things to understand what they were made of and how to break them apart. At least he couldn’t be bothered with people.
Would you believe I was a normal – but matrinarc observed me, knew I learned by copying, and acted like a super empath?
Now I look back on my childhood and the person I thought she was. I truly thought she was a weaker kind and did feel those things for others. In fact she was coaching me to be a target and to stay a target..WOW. I need to SEE what has happened. I have wool over my eyes because of what I needed, not what was happening.
She was always in awe when I’d stand up for what I believed in with full strength. In total shock when I would fight for an ideal or deal with our family’s issues with compassion.
As a journalist, I was the only one willing to be honest and accountable. Can you imagine? The media is full of shonks and I urge you to read and watch knowing how much has been omitted and changed. That’s from the horse’s mouth.
The one thing I DO like an am a bit in awe of is when I’m sitting with a narc watching someone else and they teach me how to observe without taking responsibility for the other person’s issues. It’s something people with compassion do, to understand. HOwever this leads to distortion. It is very liberating to not associate myself with that other person, particularly if they are a mess. Narcs also give you permission to be as confident and arrogant as necessary to get what you need to get. I’m always worried about how I’ll be treated by others and avoid doing certain things to escape the narclear bombings.
Thoughts.. is this a good strategy, or willt hey keep going until I died?
We will always keep going.
HG….that was splendidly written and explained. If I had only known what I was all those years ago…how much easier some things might have been in my life.! hmm… It’s all so crystal clear now. Thank you 🙂
You are welcome Chirose.
Unfortunately your books are unavailable to myself though I wish I had access. Time is also against me to devour the knowledge you have given. It certainly does fill like death will be your only excape especially when a child is involved. Constantly avoiding manipulations used towards the innocent. No contact, cut from all devices, social media just seems as a greater challenge that mine thrives off of. From our point of view or at least mine to love so much and to realize you will never recieve love in return. Not only by your narc but by those who he intimidates to stay away from you fills like death. Thanks again for your honesty and your genius insight.
Thank you. How are you unable to access the books?
Lol, well I am sure you’ll find it humorous, but being a single mother of three I live very humbly. All of your books are available threw ebooks, my children has access but I would never use their devices to access a book. Im much to busy and financially incapable to purchase a device for myself. Too much laundry to be done. I have a few degree’s but I found the most rewarding employment is being a padiatric nurse which in return doesn’t pay as well as my radiology degree. It’s silly I know.
do you have a mobile ‘phone? If so, you can download the free kindle app and download the books that way. You do not need a tablet or a kindle to read them.
I do, thank you. I didnt know that was an option.
pleasure
Elizabeth, death is not the way out. I had that thought too when all this started for me, either me putting a gun to my head or hoping he would OD to his fate in hell. I mean waiting for natural death wasn’t a thought. But you know now I am almost 8 months out from it all and I can say I am a new person, I am almost 100% healed, and I am stronger and better than I have ever been before. I still have divorce to file next month, I know he still lurks around, he tries to make contact at times, I know he is waiting for the moment to jump out from behind some bush and act like i put myself at that bush on purpose to bump into him (Narc humor) and I know he will put his very best forward to try to get me back when he thinks I am weak. The only problem here is for him, cause he won’t find me weak!!! This trauma has brought out the warrior in me, and if I can arise up as the strong, brave, wise woman God created me to be then you can too!! Don’t use your strength so much to avoid it all, use what strength you have to make yourself even stronger so that his attempts at you and manipulations can’t even phase you!! Therefore removes the fuel he seeks from you. The Narc may continue to be in your life if you have kids, but you have the power to walk in freedom!! Try to get HGs books on your phone like he suggested. The more you educate yourself the more power you gain!!
I have always thought everyone on Earth has a purpose. I recently changed my belief after realizing this whole new species. I look at them as paracites. Literally sucking our love from us. No offense to you Hg of course. You obviously have found your balance and has helped me as well as thousands but why? Is it financial reasons, positive fuel, perhaps ensight to our point of view to better assist you with your own manipulations. Im just curious as why you would be honest and help those when I know you are enable to have empathy of your own.
Hi Elizabeth, as I have explained before I do this because it is part of my treatment, I enjoy writing, I enjoy having an audience and the interaction with people who are interesting, intelligent and articulate. I am learning from you all as well. I freely admit that I gain some fuel from this but it is low in ranking because I do not know anybody on this blog and furthermore it is through an electronic medium rather than in person. I revel in the opportunity to demonstrate my awareness to others. I delight in the fact that what I tell you allows you to become weaponised as it appeals to my sense of omnipotence to have you weaponised empaths gearing up to tackle the narcissists of the world. This will have no impact on my own fuel gathering endeavours and I have no sense of honour towards my fellow narcissists, indeed they need to up their games.
You are absolutely brilliant, also your discriptions on your articles hits completely home with our own experiences. I have realized the only way out is as you have said threw death. Though is it only the primary that deals with this or is it also secondary?
No, the only way out is not through death at all. On the contrary I have explained in detail that there are various ways to counter what we do and have set them out in my books. Thank you for your kind comment.
This reminds me of a particular Thanksgiving. I of course wanted to be with my family, also I didn’t want him missing Thanksgiving with our daughter. He wasn’t allowed at my families house and he burnt the bridge with his so I decided to cook for us three. Right before it was done he started a huge fight and refused to eat. So I looked at him and said that was his choice but Im not letting the food go to waist. I packed up half, grabbed our daughter and took it to where the homeless hung out. I made a picnic table full of thanksgiving for them. When I returned the remainder was in the trash. I got in my car and went home. Worst thanksgiving ever. I didnt let him know that though.
Hit the target HG …
“But the Super Empath is just as engaging as the narcissist and thus there is a mutual attraction. The Super Empath is also more challenging to the narcissist and therefore is usually the recipient of some Mid-Range narcissists and most often the Greater Narcissist.
The risk factor however with a Super Empath is that their own personal integrity is greater than the empath’s and very much greater than that of the co-dependent and consequently of all these three classes of empath, the Super Empath is the one more likely to make a bid for escape and thus leave the narcissist with a cessation problem.”
Amazing and so very true. This applies to Mid-Rangers and Greaters for certain. Even as friends. These men try to engage on a false masked level of course – while the super empath (I have experienced this myself with a Mid-Range/Greater) does mutually engage in a more honest fashion but sees through the façade. Actions never match the words for the Mid-Range.
HG your contributions are brilliant. You help so many deal with the backlash and devaluation and discard these people leave behind.
Thank you.
thank you ANN.
Its not Ann 🙂 But you are welcome, HG 🙂
I was using the acronym of A Narc’s Nightmare – hence ANN !
You are much too savvy, HG :)… I didn’t even think of that. Thanks again 🙂
I believe my ex became bored with me since I would not give him any negative fuel.
I was suspicious that he was a narcissist early on but also knew he had PTSD.
Was he withdrawing bc he had PTSD or was it the silent treatment? Did he ignore my questions because he became overwhelmed easily and had enough stress in his daily life, or was it because his Highness did not feel I was worthy of an answer.
Yet, I still believed, if I just loved him enough to fill his gaping black soul, possibly it would make a difference. I could feel how badly he needed unconditional love and I tried. Now I know better. Now I laugh at myself for even thinking I could help him.
He was everything he said he wasn’t and nothing he claimed to be.
Even though he put me through hell, I would help him if there was a way.
He ignored your questions because he did not deem you worth answering to and this of course would be part of the silent treatment.
Your sentiments towards him are naturally in accordance with the name that you have chosen empath23.
I felt that. I could feel something was off almost the entire time. I always wondered why and how he could be so sure of himself and extremely confident about our complex situation.
Future faking at it’s finest!
After HE convinced me to believe in our “pure and true love” (you know because we are soul mates lmao) then it was excuse after excuse about how he felt bad that I was waiting for him (in another state) and how something else would always come up to hinder him from moving here.
Now I thank God we didn’t end up together and realize I never truly loved him or even knew him. I loved what he portrayed, how he made me feel, it was all shallow bullshit. After he knew I was hooked, there was nothing of any substance. He could love bomb me but not open up. He could go on and on about how much he missed me, how he ached inside to be with me, but would never visit or call. None of it made any sense, until now.
The funny thing is that I was not attracted to him in the beginning and that’s what I feel when I think of him now… Nothing.
He’s lucky he had a shot with me.
He will not have another.
How would you classify your ex-wife?
As a traitor.
Oh…ouch. I meant before traitor status. Lol
grade A bitch
Omg! I highly doubt that is why you chose to put a ring on it. Lol What, is her attorney hitting you up for extended maintenance payments this week?
Ha ha, she once showed potential but alas, she let me down. Huh maintenance payments – not a chance. It was a clean break.
I see. Can there be such a thing as a clean break when you’ve mentioned you’ve hoovered for… how did you word it… oh yes, a “Grudgefuck”? Lol
I receive child support and maintenance for the time being, because, well, my 20’s spent nurturing him back to emotional health is worth that.
Clean break in financial terms Clarece, it is a term used here in ancillary relief proceedings.
Ok, let me make the question more generic. What do you think you’ve had more of as intimate partners? Super Empaths or Co-dependants?
A quick trip down Memory Lane would suggest that it is Super Empaths.
She filed for the divorce???
indeed, although of course there was a cross-petition.
I’m sorry. I’m sure it made you very upset. It wasn’t a criticism .. She probably couldn’t handle your power.
Really interesting HG! Explains really well the super empath attraction from a greater spectrum narcissist and I say from not to and would explain their persistence and great lengths to ensnare the s-empath.
Once again though I find difficult to digest that a highly narcissistic person if not a sociopath or psychopath would take great risks that could lead to criminal charges and trials for example stalking, or even knocking unconscious the victim once finding out they have moved on under extreme (hand grenades and mines) metaphorical to obstruct their escape then pursue at an alarming rate.
Why would they not just go and find another super empath, be her more attractive and blindfolded and be done with it all instead of not budging out of the life of a super empath and their family to the point they would again risk themselves or expose themselves when the super empath that is wide awake can assert their right to defend themselves through sources that protect their human rights not to be abused nor chased endlessly like a hunted animal?
Could the answer possibly be that they realise the presence of the s-empath evokes a certain kind of energy regardless of how she dresses, make-up, no make-up and he has seen the result of that presence and could well be getting the supply denied to him through his own double standards, trumped himself as she refused to supply him in any way shape or form just as he requested through his own words and distance he so created that risked the relationship, anyway after breaking down the trust you spoke of?
Surely, that clearly denotes that the narcissist is addicted to the s-empath and not the other way around and that he is showing flaws to his otherwise constant need to control that is splitting the flaws wide open with what his demands were anyhow then when he gets what he wants why is he then so deranged and frustrated and obsessively drawn to not removing himself when he blames her anyway for his misery?
Very interesting topic, thanks HG
You are welcome, thank you for your observations.
Since my writings have no backspace, nor highlight and delete I shall continue where I left off 😉 Oh crikey, the woman is a frootloop and as if anyone would go out of their way to stop her editing and writing with some kind of etiquette’ like who would really give a RA?
HG -my observations lol have been here from my arrival into this grounding and the fight, plight to avoid such a punitive lesson. Much like yourself if you had the courage to examine yourself as you do other’s. Our memories extend way back to the womb and you are not alone in that! Problem is that you fear judgement and you fear societal slapovers for your thinking, you know that I am right at least in that! My issue is that you are empathic but you sold yourself out to be sheeple, HG. You had an innate schedule that misdirected your path and your sense of self. There is absolutely nothing special, nor unique about your frontal lobe as we all possess the insight. You alone chose to take the wider, more difficult path and to be defiant in what you felt. Who then has let whom down? Yourself……..
Are you the Anti-Monitor, HG?
Just the Anti-Christ this week BE.
Even better. The Anti-Christ never looked or sounded soooo good. Yum!
You are spot on my dear.
Thank you.