The Narcissistic Truths – No. 37

i-am-crippled-by-the-enemy-within

102 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 37

  1. Alyssa says:

    HG. I have a friend told me about the creature inside him that if that creature being taken out from his body then my narc will lose his conscience and live like a person with psychotic.
    What is your perspective about this?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I can understand why that might be stated. I think you mean consciousness as opposed to conscience as we do not have the latter.

  2. Snow White says:

    I would make the soup anytime for you Indy!!❤️🍎❤️

  3. Great warm up for the creature book. Is it coming out in December?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No GG, it will be next year, it is an especially carefully crafted tome owing to the subject matter.

      1. Love says:

        That’s good to know Mr. Tudor. I am thinking about taking a little sabbatical to Narcland so I can come back and contribute in a more meaningful way. I’ve run out of material. You’re so right about Geyser empaths. We heal very quickly and are ready to jump right back in, head first. I will be sure to come back for the Creature release. So excited!

  4. Darkness Falls Again says:

    Star I have wondered the same things as to looking back at my life and then to my sons, sadly 2 are following their fathers footsteps 1 is more like me. To which I find intriguing due to I have never met a man with close to the same abilities as I. He is very balanced with a wonderful wife and 3 beautiful children to which there is never enough time in the day to spend with. The little one thou she is my heart, ‘maybe due to the fact she is so close in age as to what her aunt would be today. She has helped me over come grief to which was almost unbearable.

  5. Violet says:

    Well there you go, all the empaths on this site. There is no confusion to be had. They are bad people, complete parasites and we have been conned.

    There is no grey area.

    There is no point thinking of them at all. You mean nothing.

  6. Liz says:

    “I do not have split personality disorder, both me and him are agreed on that.” This line made my night! In addition to being very bright, you have a great sense of humour!

    Can’t wait to read “The Creature”.

  7. 1jaded1 says:

    Another one similar to #13. Cripple is such a strong word. Fwiw, I am holding out hope for you to find peace and break free. Realistically, it’s really the only thing I can do.

  8. Starr says:

    Why do some children of abuse become empaths despite the past trauma and why do some turn out to be sociopaths and narcissist ? I was abused as a child and can still feel love and joy although I suffer from depression and lack of motivation and energy I can still love .

    1. HG Tudor says:

      This is question which continues to draw various theories and studies. You may have three children who are all raised in the same environment. One becomes a narcissist, the other is co-dependent and the other normal. These differences may well be as a consequence of predisposition caused by genetics so that the application of the environment to them results in a different outcome. It might be that the environment is slightly different for each and this caused the outcome or perhaps it is a combination of the two. I do know that my kind are caused through responding to their environment by taking and the co-dependent arises through responding by over-giving, but why one chose one path and the other a different one may well be owing to a genetic predisposition.

      1. Indy says:

        Good job, HG!!! I could not have explained that better😊

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Thank you Indy.

      2. Snow White says:

        I agree with Indy!!!! I loved this explanation and saving it in my notes. I have talked about genetic predisposition for years now regarding all of my sons’ diagnosis and I think there is a lot to learn there.

  9. Indy says:

    When I was little I was compared to Shirley Temple, due to the crazy curls all over the place.

    Tap, tap, tap….its the good ship lollipop….now lets see if I can manage those steep stairs in these tap shoes.

    Don’t you dare try to trip me, HG! **pointing lolly at you with a pouty Shirley Temple look**

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Me, cause you to fall? Never…..

      1. Indy says:

        Awwww…***feigns belief***
        I hate to say it, but I still like you. Probably because you are doing wonderful job here, have helped me be a better stronger and faster “empath” with claws and a better therapist as well….Regardless your intentions. And you are dangerously charming. smh Can’t help it, it is how I was created. However, I have a bit of armor and claws and teeth. Thanks to you!

        Ninja Utilizing Killer Empath Skills (NUKES)

  10. Indy says:

    HG, once upon a time was a few months ago. So, you know whose hand this is. Have you shared here or is this a book detail? BTW, I am still waiting on those other books…tap tap tap…;)

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It is a detail that is part of a book. My work continues on various books at present so in the meanwhile you can polish up your tap dancing skills!

    2. Snow White says:

      Glad you asked Indy! I haven’t forgotten about it and it drives me crazy that I don’t know. I thought maybe I missed it. Not as perceptive as you at times so I wasn’t sure. Lol
      Hope everything is going well for you and your cat. 😹🍎❤️

      1. Indy says:

        Hi snow!!!!!
        You and me both! Shoot, between me and my ADHD, I never quite know if I missed a detail. Hope you and your fa,iOS will have a happy thanksgiving! Traveling or staying local?
        Me and kitty are doing well. 🐾😺

        1. Snow White says:

          Good morning Indy😊
          LOL, I try to keep up.
          I am staying home for Thanksgiving. No traveling. Are you staying put? Will you have your grandson and family with you?
          Wishing you a peaceful Thanksgiving.

          1. Indy says:

            Hi Snow,
            Yes, I am celebrating Friday with my son and grandson and his fiancé’s family. I used to be the matriarch (not MatriNarc LOL), and do all the cooking on holidays and gather folks. Now, for the past 3 years, it has been her family, which is a tiny bit of travel. I am just fine with that, they are sweet and amazing cooks 🙂
            <3

          2. Snow White says:

            I’m sure you have earned it Indy. Glad you will be with them. It is nice to sit back and enjoy other people’s cooking. Do you have to work on Thursday? I am off work starting tomorrow for a week. So excited.

          3. Indy says:

            Hi Snow,
            Awww. Well, I do enjoy not having to cook all the dishes. I work Wednesday and have Thursday and Friday off. My sons fiancés sister and brother in law has to work and so we all moved it to Friday.
            Yay for long weekends!!!! And being cooked for!!! Are you cooking anything or all?

          4. Snow White says:

            Yes it is Indy!!
            Nice to hear you can enjoy several days off in a row. I know you work a lot of hours and I’m sure you need the down time. We visit my dads and then go to my father-in-laws. I am making a cheesecake, a dessert fruit salad, and green bean casserole. What about you Indy?

            How is Thanksgiving dinner in the U.K. HG?

          5. HG Tudor says:

            It isn’t celebrated in the UK, SW, though we do see, to have imported Black Friday.

          6. Snow White says:

            How did Black Friday come about then?

          7. HG Tudor says:

            Yours or ours? I think from our perspective it arose from the creeping dominance of globalisation (e.g. Amazon runs Black Friday events in the US so they would extend it to other areas) and also retailers in the UK saw it as a chance to capitalise on another gimmick as a way of getting stupid people to fight with one another in stores over crap technology products. Last year I watched epsilon semi-morons fighting over Polaroid televisions. Who in their right mind would buy a Polaroid television? There is a reason it is being sold cheap; it is crap and sensible buyers will not buy them. The herd mentality in full effect.

          8. 1jaded1 says:

            I’m just going to anyplace that has a gift card to where my family ones like to shop, or money. They don’t mind that. Malls make me itch.

          9. Snow White says:

            Hilarious HG! Thanks for my morning laugh.
            It has grown over here and it’s funny to see how the retailers have brainwashed some of us. I used to get up 3am on Black Friday and now most stores are open 4 pm on Thanksgiving. Many people are still out and I’m one of them. Inusually go around 8pm. I have witnessed many fights over merchandise and some are pretty amusing. I enjoy the entertainment when I’m out.

          10. Indy says:

            Thankful for getting rid of those damned colonists day. 😂

          11. Indy says:

            Hi Snow,
            I’m known in my family for making a killer sage and giblet stuffing. For some reason, my son is obsessed wth my green bean casserole, so I make I for him. Along with a sweet potatoe soufflé.
            I love pumpkin pie and pecan pie…oh hell, most pies 😹

          12. Snow White says:

            The green bean casserole is made for my son also.
            Yum Yum pies. I could eat just from a pie buffet. I have to say we have Italian wedding soup and that is my absolute favorite.

          13. Indy says:

            Yummy, I love a good Italian wedding soup!

          14. Indy says:

            What I am wondering is will HG have any special Black Friday deals on his books (hint, hint).
            Sale: Today only (unless I change my mind)
            Get two books for a contract signed in blood
            Three books, your soul
            Four books, your future children
            Five books, your soul’s soul….
            Six books, all future lives…and possible past lives too.

          15. HG Tudor says:

            Indeed I have. Buy all my books and I won’t devalue you. How’s that for an unbeatable offer?

          16. Indy says:

            ***Dramatically grasps chest and falls to the floor***

      2. 1jaded1 says:

        Likewise Indy and Snow White.

        1. Indy says:

          Hi 1Jaded1,
          How have you been? You celebrating T-day? Traveling?
          Wishing you well!
          Indy

    3. 1jaded1 says:

      Hi Indy. I’m okay. Thank you. I’ll be with family on Thanksgiving, if plans work out. Have a great holiday.

  11. Just like in your empath post we do see the good and positive in narcs. Its just buried so deep under your protective armor that most narc don’t even see it or are so terrified to let it out they let the monster out to hurt instead of risking being hurt. So we take it for you (think Green Mile).

    After everything DN has done to me (and still is) I still see inside his captured heart and know there is something there. Its just easier, safer, and more routine to allow the beast to take control. I will never take him back and allow him to hurt me again but I know somwhere there is good in him…I’ve captured it several times.

    The most amazing thing about you HG is that you recognize and admit to your monster. DN could only say something was not right and he could not control his actions. I think you can bc you know and understand both sides more than anyone else I know.

    Good or bad, I wish you the best in your life changing test and will be waiting. I’ve seen a lot of truly heartless people and most narcs are not them, they just pretend to be…survival of the fittest!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Good observations and AZ and thank you for your kind sentiment.

  12. noah80 says:

    I think that if you use your awareness about narcissism and the consequences of narcissistic behaviors on people… you are already on the right path to bring out your good part of what you are. You have also really goodness inside of you.
    Is it easy for you show us those parts of you that you know them are not socially well accepted?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It would be very easy for me to show you my dark side but I neither have reason to do so within this forum and this is also prevented by the five rules.

  13. Hope says:

    I still believe deep inside you there is a good heart and soul, just waiting to be released. Don’t fear the creature, HG. Fear gives it power. I hope you can release it someday, and feel peace of mind. You’re such a brilliant man, with amazing potential. Look how many lives you’ve touched with your writing. It is sad to know you’re suffering. (Please don’t take this as a criticism, HG – it’s not. I wish you well and I wish you contentment.)

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I have not taken it as a criticism and I appreciate the sentiment in what you have written.

  14. Darkness Falls Again says:

    This creature can not defeat you.
    Maybe it’s cause you hold so tight for so long is why it has taken up residency.
    Things taken in subconscious can come out in ways that are well very ugly.

    My hope is for you to find the peace you so deserve HG. To be able to experience a joy so incredible. Yet it is only by your choice to change. To force one ……

  15. Snow White says:

    Good afternoon HG.
    How many people have you told that you have a creature inside you? Did you ever confide in anyone when you were younger and you realized it was there? My ex said no one ever believed her. I did see her journals from her childhood and the darkness and evil were there. I wish someone could have helped here at the age when maybe it could have reversed some of the damage.
    Did my ex just tell me about it because she knew that would make me try harder to help her and excuse some of her behaviors?
    I believe she was always afraid that it would get out.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I have told nobody prior to discussion with the good doctors. I have referred to the beast within with some of my IPs, but that is different to The Creature, SW. Her admission about it may have either occurred at a moment of low fuel or was designed for the purposes of drawing fuel from you and binding you closer to her.

      1. Indy says:

        Taking a stab at this….I think I have hypothesized this before in differing terms:
        This creature sounds like a number of things to me. It sounds like a fear of certain emotional experiences that are contained within in a separate mental container. People do this sometimes when coping with past maltreatment, particularly when in childhood. It could be little HG with thorns all around him and a dragon too…you just see the thorns and dragon. Just my hypothesis, of course, as I do not know you clinically or personally. To break down the thorns and stone wall and to put out the flames of the dragon, you starve the roots of the thorns and extinguish the fire of the dragon to get to the boy. Thus, the diet away from fuel. To get the boy out…a brave journey. I can see why you need your armor.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Interesting thoughts Indy and you will learn more when The Creature is published.

      2. Snow White says:

        I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to share what you do with us on this blog. And I think it’s brave that you admitted that and discuss it with the doctors. Some people see therapists and aren’t honest. Admitting such horrible things is hard but it’s the only way that you will get the help you need. I bet that was a big step for you.

  16. Darkness Falls Again says:

    Can I go off the beaten path for a moment HG ?
    This creature inside, would it be the things said to oneself as a young child, do to feelings of being inadequate to the one that approval was sought from?
    In other words you are your own enemy?

    Co dependents and narcissit are alike from your persective, (ome developed completely one didnt) to which I agree and disagree, so this creature lives in the codependent also, correct?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The creature is the enemy within. It wants to stop me and defeat me.

      1. Starr says:

        I think it is a figment of your imagination . Or you could be possessed or have split personality disorder and the creature is actually your other personality trying to come out .

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I do not have split personality disorder, both me and him are agreed on that.
          In seriousness, I do not.
          There are those who believe I am possessed.

          1. Starr says:

            This was hilarious to read ❤️ Excellent sense of humor !!!! There is a theory that Satan himself also impregnated Eve and therefore the Devils bloodline runs in a small percentage of the population

          2. HG Tudor says:

            So Eve was slipped a crippler by Adam and then Satan?

            Fruity place that Garden of Eden.

          3. Starr says:

            Or they also say the spirit of Jezebel can partially possess a person . Maybe you don’t need therapy maybe you need a bath in holy water along with an exorcism .

          4. HG Tudor says:

            I only bathe in admiration, Starr, you know that.

          5. Starr says:

            You can be admired without abusing . In fact you will be admired even more if you can stop your addiction to negative fuel .

          6. Indy says:

            And in the souls of empaths…..I can see that bath now. It is akin to a bath that Countess Elizabeth Báthory would love…

      2. AH OH says:

        why? did you ask this?

      3. Ann says:

        HG The Creature within is nothing more than a demon. It can be cast out quite easily by people who work in Deliverance Ministries. They are not hard to find if you know where to look. I appreciate all you share with us, but when you are ready to be free from the Creature and live a normal existence, you merely have to ask. It really isn’t that hard and it really isn’t that ugly. There is beauty and peace on the other side of it. I hope for your sake you will make that choice for yourself (and for others).

      4. Alyssa says:

        Hello HG. I have somebody knowing about the creature inside my narc and he said that if the creature will be taken from him then my narc will suffer from mental illness like loss of conscience. He will be like a person with psychotic

  17. CB says:

    As soon as you meet a woman who is hard to get emotionally, and hard to impress, but very polite and with a calm smile, never doting on you, never comforting you, lets you do all those things to her instead, romantic gestures come from you, and not from her; she hardly ever initiates contact, so you will always be the one to do it, she observes your actions, never tries to impress you, because she understands that she already has you, slowly, the only fuel she gives you, is her confidence and calm,

    then your life will change. The lifelong chase of her, will give you a heart.
    Unfortunately those elusive mysterious women are extremely rare, or taken.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      That is an interesting perspective CB, thank you for sharing it. Do you think however that such an individual would be targeted by us to begin with though?

      1. Seduced says:

        hmmm description of woman above wouldn’t make her a target at all I my opinion. these womens aren’t rare either.

      2. CB says:

        Yeah She will be very warmhearted the first few weeks of your Lovebombing. Then all of a sudden withdraws and becomes elusive. For the rest of your days together. A bit aloof and romantically lazy even when living with you.
        You see you narcs/sociopaths are extreme hunters. Even doting and cute words, you guys take as aggression. You want to be the aggressor in the relationship. Otherwise you leave and feel a bit threatened.
        Those first five months she will only see you once a week.
        It will take her about 20 dates to decide whether she will choose you or one of the other men. Prevents you from Lovebombing.

    2. Leilani says:

      Interesting. They are around indeed. No doubt.

  18. Starr says:

    What is the root cause of the creature and enemy within ? What would you say if someone told you the creature isn’t real and you can live and be admired without fuel and without manipulations ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      But it is real, I know it to be so.

      1. E. B. says:

        Do all Greaters are aware of this creature they have inside or is it just you (Greater Elite)?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Yes EB they are aware. Of course, whether they will admit to it, is another thing entirely.

      2. Starr says:

        Just let the creature out and see what happens . Like an experiment or something . How bad could it be ?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          This may well occur Starr as a consequence of the isolation event.

          1. Starr says:

            Omg I can’t wait ! I’m so excited . This is going to be epic . I think you will just get very depressed and maybe want to end it all and then realize that you are still living and still breathing and you really don’t need to manipulate and abuse to survive .

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Only the event occurring can tell us Starr.

          3. I know what it is like and its not going to be fun. Once construct cracks its like going through a haunted house, over and over again until you learn okay, 1st someone comes at you with chainsaw, then someone jumps out at you, then you see horrifying scene, etc etc until then you’re out, you know the scary parts inside and out. Examined them from an adult perspective instead of traumatized child and you realize those experiences were really f’d up. (Like you need confirmation of that) But now that I look back at it, I didnt die when creature got out. I learned. I looked. I saw. I changed. I’m better. Or am I?…lol.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            That is an interesting way of describing it FTW.

          5. You get me. No one else does.

          6. HG Tudor says:

            Stop pinching my lines you.

          7. Make me.

      3. Love says:

        The more I hear about this isolation project, the less I like it. I think you should have large fuel supply on stand-by… I’m volunteering.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I have made a note Love.

  19. noah80 says:

    What, in this world, can make you feel really peaceful and happy? Don’t answer me fuel please, because both you and I know that is just a momentary relief that fills a perennial empty.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Since you have removed the choice of fuel from the equation I have no answer.

      1. noah80 says:

        Your response makes me think you do not know it because you are too concentrated to seek fuel for moments of excitement comparable to moments of happiness, but this does not mean that there are no other, more real and profound, ways to give you happiness. Only you do not know them because you’ve never tried them.
        I have another question for you: Do you feel this creature as real part of yourself or somebody stranger to fight and defeat?
        Reading your articles I am convinced that my narcissist was a Greater (what big luck that i had to met him! 😅 ).

        1. HG Tudor says:

          It is the enemy which must be defeated, it is not me.

      2. Indy says:

        What about holding that hand you refer to, HG?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Yes Indy, once upon a time that would have been the answer, but no longer.

  20. I believe you wholeheartedly… and am sorry to feel such resonation with this truth of your kind. I wish no one had to feel such a thing as the suffering never truly ends; inclusive of it’s ripple effects.

  21. Darkness Falls Again says:

    Damn this hit deep HG, my protective instinct just went into overdrive.
    To feel this is, brings one to thier knees
    If I could take this from you I would.

  22. Seduced says:

    😢💔

  23. Violet says:

    What? How? What does it do? I thought you didn’t care about anything?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Holds us back when the fuel runs low Violet.

      1. Violet says:

        How does it hold you back?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Makes us wary, restless and in turmoil.

    2. Harshita Ezil says:

      Hahaha! 😂 Awesome one! 👌

      1. Violet says:

        Wary? That’s your truth calling you back to face it. And it’s what we all live with permanently as victims of severe domestic violence.
        I no longer feel sorry for you or narcissists. I dealt with it and advanced. You chose to stay there.

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