The Narcissistic Truths – No. 39

this-is-for-my-protection

32 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 39

  1. Jane Hall says:

    The picture is sad and horrible. The boy SHOULD have become the MAN. This picture is a disturbance and disruption in what should have happened. Neither here nor there.

    My hubby is like that. Half boy half man. Half wit.

    And it got me every time. Every time I tried to shake the devil off….the little boys eyes would come peeping out…sad, weepy eyes…pleading “help me”. And soon as I did help him. That devil would be right back. Time after time I fell for that.

    Which is why I do not like the picture. It is a bit like the Wolf in sheeps clothing picture.

    something happened to them when they were young? So what? Something happened to me too…we all have our pain issues and past…but not everyone goes around devouring others to make themselves feel better.

  2. anna says:

    The child protects the adult in this case, allows the adult to be powerful because the adult gets all the attention by the primary source, not the child.
    So why should he change anything at all?

  3. OakorWillow? says:

    To paraphrase a current song, “Don’t save him, he don’t wanna be saved, don’t save him, he don’t wanna be saved.” H.G. don’t wanna be saved, doesn’t need to be saved, and can’t be saved. The matrinarc damage can’t be undone. Humpty Dumpty can’t be put back together again. He’s said it over and over and over again. I believe him and it’s given me a measure of relief. I don’t have to try to fix it anymore, it’s unfixable.
    I feel like Angel, my husband is in so much pain from his childhood it breaks my heart. And his pain will never, ever go away. That bitch fucked him for the rest of his life and I hope she’s burning in hell right now. Is that an empath statement?

  4. M. says:

    PS. HG, thanks for the experience.

  5. M. says:

    No, Starr. It’s all about us. Everything derives from us and returns to us. Actually, sacrifice does not exist. Think about it.

    1. Starr says:

      I would take a bullet for the people I love and let my life end so they can live. That is the ultimate sacrifice . It does exist but it is RARE. Very very rare to feel that love

  6. Starr says:

    Perhaps you can feel love but your body and mind cast that feeling out whenever it may start to arise . Maybe your body physically gets sick when the positive emotions start to want to come out .

  7. M. says:

    Oh, all these sweet wannabe saviors… Who want to save the narcissist so as to feel unique. It is always about ourselves, you know. Even our good deeds. It is always about power. Even for the empaths and the nons , they just hide it more effectively. Kindness is power. Love is power. It translates into superiority. And, I guess, nothing would make you feel more powerful than make a narcissist melt-for you, and thanks to you.
    Let the man be.
    If he is ever going to be saved (whatever that means) it will come from within.

    1. Starr says:

      No I don’t think it is about power, for example if Mr Tudor were to ever feel real love I would be equally as excited and so happy even if I weren’t the one that brought it out in him . That is where empathy and true joy come in . Finding joy in others and happiness is not about power or ourselves , it is about the other person and love .

  8. Angel says:

    This makes me want to hold mine for dear life. I just wish I could make his pain go away. No one else sees it. He shows me. He puts on an act w people, they would never know how much his past tares him apart. It literally kills me, I can feel my heart break. I hate feeling it.

  9. MLA - Clarece says:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiCAMa65_JE

    I shared this with you over the summer. It seems appropriate here. Rather than a father protecting his son following the loss of his mother, you had to play protector to little HG your whole life. You are a master at control and can now filter what will bring good or bad into your life. Take down the “Danger Keep Out Sign” and set aside the toolkit and and watch what goodness will come to you.

  10. lvos11 says:

    Was there ever a teacher or other adult in your childhood who did show healthy love toward you? Do you believe that if children are on the brink of going either direction, that certain treatment from a positive adult influence in their life could make a difference one way or the other?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      My grandmother did but my exposure to her was not extensive enough to affect the corrupting darkness which I was exposed to on a daily basis.
      I agree that influence from a positive adult could indeed make the difference of going one way or another. See the article Save the Children, Lvos for more on that.

      1. ANarcsNightmare says:

        Mothers can make or hurt a child so deeply. At least you had a grandmother but yes that daily darkness has to have been so destructive. Before I had my son, and with all the studying and majoring in psychology prior to be becoming a mother, I read every single book on raising a son. A mother’s approval and mother’s love is the single most important thing a mother can do for her son’s well being and mental state. He will make any other woman suffer for the suffering his mother caused him. I am proud to say my 20 year old son is a loving and strong man that has found a girlfriend (too much like me in every way – which confirms no mommy issues) and she is kind but strong, loving but not a doormat.

  11. This is a test…this is only a test of the emergency broadcast system ;)…HG is showing us what we fall for every time. (she puts her hand up) and I too am guilty guilty guilty she says out loud.
    Em-paths are drawn to the cries of children and animals and would / will do anything short of losing sleep as one example (like Sarah), who we see reaching out and yes even creating pyramids FTW if they believe it would help them to get over, under, around, or through to the sufferer to be able to supply the help they believe is needed.

    We equate what we see in front of us with ourselves and our own torments firstly.
    We feel the gut wrench, we feel the injustice, we feel everything we withstood in our own lives immediately and will do anything to squash or get rid of that sensation for ourselves and them. (sound familiar?).
    We have been triggered and we have been triggered to perform and we fall for it every time.
    Oh I’d be there with you all no doubt about that. Id be their with Clairece directing (she’s an accommodating best friend after all) along with my hair and make up kits and wardrobe cases and stereo and be very concerned as to where is the best position for the “comfy throne and the red carpet”…

    You see if we fail to act, our conscience would bother us so badly that we would rather risk it to not be true than to not act.

    We think of the help that was not there for us when young and where it has led us and what we have endured and do not wish to see others or think of others suffering the same fate of…if only someone would have reached out… if only someone would have seen or recognized what was going on.
    How can you tell the difference between crying wolf?
    This is what he is trying to teach us all.
    Thank-you for the reminder HG.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome EBS.

    2. EBS,
      The part where you said ” we feel everything we withstood in our own lives immediately” I like that. Yes I feel that person. Complete strangers will tell me their life stories. Happens all the time. I can feel their moods. I meet many people. Everywhere I go I immediately make “friends “. I can tell which people in a crowd dont belong, in the sense of nefarious types. I can tell what people are by observing and listening and questioning. I touch people when I talk to them. I immediately put people at ease. The flip side of that is I know how to use that same sense to intimidate and abuse and belittle and frighten. I could be ice queen and detach from anyone at will. I do not do the latter as extremely as I used to. In fact probably not much anymore. I try to keep myself in between. Neutral. I enjoy people. They are my favorite things. I like to hear their stories and understand how they feel and their experiences. That is how I get fed, by lending them my ear. Wow, all that talk of myself and I was just going to make a joke about me choosing a triangle pyramid because of illuminati conspiracy. That’s a shout out to Jay-Z and B and Katy Perry and the 7 families.

      1. I am ILLUMINATI…I can be nice or naughty 😉 <3 X's

  12. 1jaded1 says:

    Innocent eye and dark eye (even though it is blue now). The picture and few words speak more than a post of 500 or 1,000.

  13. Ptsdafternarcabuse says:

    Very powerful picture! It brought tears to my eyes😪
    I wish that little boy did not have to endure the wrath of matrinarc. I wish we could make it better. You are a talented writer, a well spoken person, an intellectual, possess an appealing voice, and many more desirable traits that we do not see due to your anonymity. They are your traits HG. You are not empty inside. Emotionally you may be empty, but otherwise you have a rich background. Do not let matrinarc convince you otherwise.

  14. Sarah says:

    HG – I am really concerned with the meaning of this all things considering that some may not see and would just like to make sure you are okay?? I believe this falls within the 2% and attempted to get a check-in but was not successful and cannot sleep so can you please say you are okay? Feeling upset, but just never seen this before from you and of course would come right about now.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I am excellent well Sarah, thank you for your kind enquiry.

    2. Love says:

      Ooooooh weeeeeee…. This is juicy juicy.

  15. I’m joining the cheerleading squad frenchtoastweb!

  16. HG,
    Be the Man that you needed as a boy. Crack open the cage, walk through that haunted house as many times as you need to, The good doctors will hold your hand. I would if I could. Many people here would take you through it. We’d look at all the things that terrified that boy and take you through it as many times as you needed until you could relive it as an adult and get rid of the void, the creature. Until you could look at it and be okay. Until you can see it through adult eyes, not the boys eyes. Everytime you examine it as an adult, talking about what happend to you, you take away the terror that made you have cognitive distortion and unhealthy coping mechanisms. You are underneath it all a man worthy of true happiness and you deserved to be loved for what you are inside. Not a portrayal, not an illusion, not a construct. It’s all you. You are doing it. HG there awaits self esteem from the inside, now go get it. You got this. We got you. We want you to succeed. We are all pulling for you. I’ll even put on that slutty cheerleader outfit for you. In fact the 10 wives will all do a cheer and a pyramid with Clarece directing, love wearing the tiara, fogotten with a megaphone shouting adoration and B&T on top of pyramid of course. Ah oh, Dragon creeper, ABB in the middle, wearing thongs under the skirt of course and me doing a full split in front. Oh and since we are empaths, okay except a couple, anyone else that wants to be on your cheerleading squad can join in. Picture that, you on a new level!

    1. 1jaded1 says:

      I will watch from the sidelines. My uncoordinated moves would make the pyramid tumble. :p

      1. Come on 1j1…..surely you can wear the rainbow afro wig and hold up the john 3:16 sign or Throw an octopus at him from the sidelines? There is a place for everyone.

        1. 1jaded1 says:

          I won’t be holding that sign. My hand is starting to burn just thinking about it.

    2. MLA - Clarece says:

      Agreed!

    3. Love says:

      Oh Fenchie, I love you for not forgetting my tiara. 💋

  17. Hope says:

    Puts a lump in my throat, and tears in my eyes. 🙁

    1. Seduced says:

      same here Hope…. very touching and emotional I’ve become and it’s only early morning. ..

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