Manipulated
You are being manipulated and you may not even know how.
This will tell you.
Beat the narcissist and know their machinations.
16 thoughts on “Manipulated”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Thank you very much, HG! I know you said you didn’t really care about us but we do care about you. I know I do. Thank you for being there for us. Sometimes I feel like I know you. You know like a friend, someone I actually have a personal relationship with.
You are welcome IL.
Thank you very much, HG! There was another IPSS who became the primary source once the wife was discarded. However, I think I was the epitome of compliance and adoration, so I can’t imagine I stepped out of line. I did ask him about being distant at times but always did so respectfully. Also, when I learned about the new girlfriend, I threatened to walk away but quickly retracted and stayed. Every time we have spoken since then, we have been friendly and warm and I have continued to be complimentary and adoring. Additionally, most of the behavior I spoke about had happened before me threatening to walk away, so it would not have been induced by that incident. Right now he has been preoccupied with his new primary source and from what I understand, while in the golden period, a narcissist’s sole focus is on the new IPPS, and it’s not until her devaluation begins that he may start hoovering and re-engaging with IPSS or DSIPSS. Is this accurate?
Correct IL. Seems to me that he was testing you with those behaviours rather than devaluing.
Dear HG, I have just finished Black Flag. Absolutely fascinating! You are a brilliant writer! I would appreciate your help with understanding something. I actually experienced vacillation-type behaviours and broken promises, including failure to call when he said he would, forgetting about a date, not following through with a birthday present, plans, etc. The book says these behaviours commence when devaluation begins. However, you said in your articles that IPSS or DSIPSS are rarely devalued. How should I view and interpret these behaviors?
Thank you IL I am pleased you found it interesting Devaluation is rare but it can happen with the IPSS or DSIPSS. Either you were being devalued because you had stepped out of line or he was testing you to see how you would respond to gauge your suitability to be a primary source. If it was devaluation, another IPSS was probably being courted for promotion.
Reading now. Thank you again, you’ve gone above and beyond.
Thank you very much for the insight! He even said I was very special to him. I did bind to him all right! Thanks again! On to the next book!
Thank you, HG. So basically, him saying “I want you in my life forever” is simply stating something that’s already a given, correct?
Correct but it also done to make you feel special so you bind to him.
Have just finished Decipher. Couldn’t put it down. Superb expository writing! Even as a IPSS/DSIPSS, I heard and recognized several of the statements you covered. My narc told me, “I want you in my life forever.” Is this one similar to “I want to be with you forever”? Does the unspoken but implied contract you talk about apply to secondary sources like IPSS and DSIPSS or only to the IPPS?
It applies to the IPSS and DSIPSS too.
Excellent! I will add these titles to my reading list. Thank you very much for your prompt response. My weekend is indeed going very well. As always, you are greatly appreciated!
You are welcome.
Hello, HG. Hope you are enjoying your weekend. I have read several of your books, like Sitting Target, Sex and the Narcissist, Fuel, The Devil’s Kit, Exorcism. Naturally, some of them are more applicable to an IPPS. Which ones would you recommend for an IPSS or DSIPSS? Thank you!
Hello IL, I am thank you, much going on at present. I trust your weekend is enjoyable. Thank you for reading. I would suggest Fury, Black Flag, Your Fault and Decipher.