Why We Target You
When we set our sights on acquiring our appliances to fuel us, it stands to reason that we dedicate the greatest amount of time to the person who is going to be our primary source of fuel. Of course the amount of time dedicated to this depends on the relevant narcissist but all of our kind are looking for certain traits which are prevalent to empathic individuals. There are certain core traits which exist in empathic individuals. Normal people will have some of these traits, probably not all and they will not have the traits to the extent and degree of an empathic person. Thus, this is why normal people are rarely made our primary sources. There are also traits which are known as class traits. These are the traits which appeal to the relevant cadre of narcissist, be that person a Victim, Somatic, Cerebral or Elite Narcissist. The core traits are hugely important to us. Their existence provides us with the three key elements that we take from our victims. Firstly, these traits means that the fuel provision will be high because of their connection to the emotional output from the victim. Secondly, there are certain residual benefits that come from these traits which we want. Thirdly, by attaching ourselves to somebody who has these traits we can pretend we have them too. We do not have these traits. Therefore we want to take them from you to apply to our construct and pass them off as belonging to us. Since we are experts and copying, we do not have these traits for ourselves and we do not feel the, but we are able to replicate what they look like by studying how you behave, because you have these traits. We then apply this to our own behaviour in order to maintain the façade. This fools other people into thinking that we are honest, decent and loving. It also enables us to mirror your traits and reflect them back at you so that you think we have them also. This makes us all the more appealing to you and ensures that you are bound closer to us. Accordingly, identifying these core traits in our victims is extremely important. The more of these traits that you have, the better. The more of these traits that you have, the greater the likelihood of being ensnared by our kind. A combination of the core traits and the class traits appearing in the way you behave and act draws our kind to you. We sense and see these traits and lock our sights on you as a prospective primary source.
There are ten of these core traits. The ideal is to find a victim who has all ten core traits and exhibits them to a considerable degree. We would then also want them to exhibit the relevant class traits which match with the type of narcissist that we are.
The Lesser Narcissist is unaware of these traits but like a hungry wolf sniffing out food he can sense the existence of these traits and know that the person exhibiting them is somebody he wants with him.
The Mid-Range Narcissists recognises these traits as admirable traits for a person to have. He sees them as plus points in the same way as someone might regard someone who is interested in art, travel and classical music, as a good match to start dating. The Mid-Range knows that he values these traits but he does not know the fundamental reason why he is drawn to them.
The Greater Narcissist knows what these traits are and why they are important. He knows the function that they play, he knows better than anybody else how to detect them and the places where (“the hunting grounds”) people can be found who will have these core traits and also the class traits. The Greater can sniff our the existence of these traits and match the target to them before moving in to ensnare that person.
So, what are these traits? Well, here are five of the ten by way of example. It is highly likely that you will have all five of these traits and you will have them in significant amounts because that is why you were ensnared by a narcissist to begin with.
Love Devotee – we require our targets to be committed to the concept of love. You want to find love, experience love, love and be loved. The idea of love is central to your existence and you truly believe that our purpose on this earth is to love others. Not only does this mean loving those around but above all else you believe in the fulfilment that arises from having that one special person who you are committed to, who you will do anything for and who you will make sacrifices for. The existence of love is a reason, to you to exist and therefore you must find it and once located, obtain it and maintain it. We want love devotees because your dedication to love often blinds you to so much else and accordingly by pretending to give you love we can hook into this trait of yours and it allows us to ensnare you all the more readily.
Compassionate – our target must exhibit compassion. This compassion must be mainly for us although we are content for it to be exhibited for other people and objects such as animals, in order to detect it. If we identify that someone cares more about animals and things and not people however we do not consider that this fulfils our requirement. At an early juncture, if we see evidence of compassion for animals it generally (but not always) follows that this person will be compassionate towards humans as well.
Decent – We look for decent people. People who are well-mannered, polite and understanding. People who have consideration for others, wait their turn in speaking, allowing others to take a slice of cake before anyone else, giving to charity and conducting him or herself in a dignified manner. Decency is an attractive trait because it tells us that you will adhere to certain standards and that you also expect us to do the same. This matters because we know that this is often indicative of the fact that you are therefore unlikely to give up on us when the going gets rough.
Moral Compass – we prefer a person with a strong moral compass, somebody who would hand a wallet to the police with the contents intact if they found such an item in the street or they would alert the shop assistant if they were handed too much change. This person is monogamous and faithful and believes others should conduct themselves by a similar moral code. Again, this tells us that you are far more likely to hang in there once devaluation starts and our behaviour will offend your moral compass so there will be the accompanying emotional reaction and thus copious fuel.
Caring – an individual who will always look after somebody else. Whether it is through working to provide for us, running the home in an excellent manner, looking after us when we are ill and being concerned about our well-being, the caring trait is very important and must be evident in our primary source especially. Not only will this tell us that you will want to look after us but it also signals to us that when we begin the devaluation of you, you will want to fix us and heal us and therefore you will keep plugging away, trying to do the right thing. It also tells us that we can expect considerable residual benefits from you in terms of you looking after us, which accords with our view of how you should be, subservient and obedient.
24 thoughts on “Why We Target You”
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Hi HG, I have somef these traits I suppose. Lately I feel the need to stick it to him hence the after dick mints that will soon be in the mail for him! Haha! On another not though… I am curious to know if there is a similar time line amongst your kind as to how long the average primary source lasts? He is living with the fat chin lady now and I am wondering how long before all hell breaks loose over there? I think he has been with her since April of this year. He moved into her place.
Hi Mary, it is all very much reliant on the freshness and the potency of the fuel and then how long the primary source can sustain the devaluing that takes place. As such one cannot stipulate a set time period for the engagement with the primary source through golden period and devaluation.
I am shocked to learn I have none of the 5 traits. Shocked I tell you. Said me, never.
I actually threw up a little. Excuse me, still retching, and that`s saying a lot because I have no gag reflex to speak of.
Hello HG! I’m a newbie😊 I want to thank you for taking your time and energy in writing these books 📚 for our knowledge, health and wellbeing. I must ask? Does this make you feel vulnerable in anyway? After all you are educating us on how to know and treat a narcissist, this enables us to tools to defend ourselves from such people, like yourself.
One more question? Please!
Having read the 5 coir traits of an empath and all your comments, may I ask? What is a super empath?
I look forward to your comment.
Kind regard X
Hello Cariad and welcome on board. No, not at all. I am entirely confident in my impressive and well-honed skill set and the odds of me actually meeting someone who has weaponised themselves in the manner which arises from reading my work are slim. Perhaps one day, when millions have read my work (as they ought to do) it might pose a challenge but for now I am but scratching the surface. I do not of course care one jot for my kind who are affected by this work.
A super empath? https://narcsite.com/2016/11/08/the-super-empath-2/
Ok..if you recall I had messaged you about my physchopath narcissist..I went thru all the Living HELL of the Love bombing ,gaslighting ,discard etc ..this was a long distance relationship… Bizzare @that so.I thought. To find out last summer as he lured me to meet him. He in fact lives near me all along. ..being the extreme empath I am I could sense this meeting was very off but it didn’t click until after the fact it was in fact him so the wonderful part of meeting him as he played his games.& tried his manipulation. I manipulated him right back. Lol that was a beautifull 3 hours. Further more what my main concern here is as I learned his behavior & patterns the same time he was. Trying to learn mine. .”which he stated in his.words “every time I think I have you figured out you f.ck me. Up. .he couldn’t seem to. Grasp me fully. So knowing this I made it my mission to f .ck him up all the more !after all was coming to having enough for me I discarded him. Now thru the 3 +years with him I noticed odd comments & behavior about sex & even children. Now. .he has been stalking me for over a year right in my back yard ,surveillance,phones hacked .computers ,etc my home bugged. .emails refering to paedophiles in my area even close to my door sex offenders etc. .!he had at one point asked me to be his. Sex slave …Ohhh I corrected him “I replied im nobody slave “I have to children and that is a major concern phedifile wise. .he is out in the back of my home at a school playground every night watching me. I do ignore him but keep on guard. He has tried to lure me to very secluded areas posing as Different people. I caught on to each and everyone. Which is so many. Being I learned his ways .. I’m not quite sure what to do @this point. .I’ve set up safety guards for myself & children . shall something happen. Can you I’m anyway enlightening me with what & what kind I’m dealing with here ???I do believe I have all the traits he was looking for he claimed this so. But I left & told him to stay away from me f0r good & of couse he has not …I’m concerned he is very dangerous being all that I experienced& all that is currently happening ?if you could share some major insight on. This with me. Thank you much LISA
I want to know how a narcissist evolves from a lesser to mid to greater? And there are obviously some that do not have a clue what they are right? That it has a name narcissist. How is it that you become enlightened to what you are doing and doing it on purpose? Would that possibly freak a lesser narc out? Knowing this is happening to them and that they cant stop it?
Hello SR, they do not. You are either a Lesser or a Mid-Range or a Greater, you do not progress ‘through the ranks’ . You are correct that she do not have a clue what they are, those are the Lesser and Mid-Range schools.
I have a higher cognitive function and therefore have always known I was different, but I did not know the names and labels until I was pointed in certain directions by an ex-girfriend and latterly the good doctors.
The Lesser would not become enlightened.
Wow, that is fascinating. TY. So, the ex that pointed you in the direction, was she a narc? Or did she catch on to what you were doing to her? I caught on to what mine was doing to me. I tried to bring it to his awareness but he would never want to see it. When you discovered this about yourself was it troubling to you or did it provide a kind of relief to know it had a name? Let me ask, do you warn or have you ever warned anybody about yourself before getting involved?
Hi SR201, no she was/is a psychologist. She recognised what i was doing. I of course did not accept what she was saying, but I was curious to understand more (as i am with most things) so I went away and read up on what she had said. It made sense but I also knew that I could not admit this to others.
It is understandable that your narc would not want to see it because either he could not or he just would not do so (as I would not).
It was not troubling to me and I actually was rather pleased to know.
I do warn some of my victims, part of the game playing. They never listen though.
Thank you
Well 1 has left for good: love devotee
I had no idea that all the qualities I would use to describe myself would end up making me a target for someone with an agenda as big as a narcissist.
I am all five but I am spending a lot more time observing and being on guard with these qualities. Working on boundaries. Too many out there don’t deserve it. I was giving it away freely. No more!!!!!
Im all 5.
How about people that are lonely and need to be with someone .
Lack of boundaries.
Also daydreamers that have romantic notions about life
OMG…I can totally relate.I am a big daydreams and Love..💖Love
Love devotee ✔
Compassionate✔
Decent✔
Moral Compass ✔
Caring ✔
No wonder I get targeted!
Correction…”Big Daydreamer”
I get sidetracked easy and don’t go over details as I should….
Another fatal flaw to arract “The Predators”
Well now, that puts me out of the game. I do not qualify! I suck.
Just to clarify, I’m not saying Empaths weak by any stretch. They’re not. I’m referring to your kind targeting people (Empaths) that openly give love, that trust people, that love unconditionally. To your kind, we are open season. And I’d understand it, if the whole facade *wasn’t* built around the notion of feeling superior. Wouldn’t you rather go after any other breed? A challenge? You even said in your book “Sex and the Narcissist” that you love to prey on bored housewives. (and virgins as a conquest).. Though virgins aren’t a conquest they’re the easiest to dupe into your magical mist simply due to inexperience.
I’d love to hear your feedback on this. Legit question.
” …like a hungry wolf sniffing out food”
Omg i can’t stop laughing! The lesser is an evolutionary mistake isn’t he? Lol😂😂😂
You find our deepest wounds, the things we have put walls around to protect. You look for vulnerable supply new victims to go after. The challenge intrigues you so much. CAN I get this person to BE so into me. And them not even knowing what hit them. The spell I put upon them. Vulnerable as they had a resent divorce, single parent, disability, over weight, have body issues. I will feed them so many complements to make them believe, THEY are what I have been looking for. Their flaws are my attraction to them. So they open up to me, giving up their innocence to be open and raw. The expose their heart to give me. So then I take their band aid off their wound, stick my hand in it, rip out the emotions, throw them on the floor, stamp all over them to make them bleed again, gather up all of the emotions, put them back inside of them. Put the band aid back on it, and sooth them again in my brain washing techniques to have them care about me. My victims are emotionally a fucked up mess. I now just give them crumbed to keep them hanging on to wanting me. While I am looking for new supply or contacting old supply. I have a harem. I rotate my supply. I need entertainment as I get bored. Once I have you, under my control, I don’t really need you so much. I just like seeing how you are such a emotions mess. YES I WAKE UP EVER MORNING THINKING, How Can I Fuck With My Supply Today. ALL WITH INTERNET. Thank You .
Field mice. Your kind hunts field mice. Why not a challenge? Why not hunt big game? You wanna feel superior, right? Then why hunt only small rodents instead of waiting for a wolf to cross your path to attack?
Ah but Jamie, I also do hunt the bigger beasts, the super empaths. Keep in mind that when I write these articles I am doing so from the perspective of all of our kind, she some will go after the field mice as you describe them and will always do so, some of us hunt the mice and the larger creatures too. Now, if you wouldn’t mind keeping still as I train my sights on you, thank you!
Bring it on, baby.