You Were Warned
“You know you really shouldn’t get involved with me you know, I am damaged.”
“Well, it is a little bit late for that isn’t it? I am already involved.”
“I know and I am glad to hear you tell me that, really I am, because I want you more than anything. I have not wanted anybody else in the way I want you but it is because of that I think you would be better off without me.”
“Don’t be silly, what do you mean by that?”
“You are so wonderful, so perfect. I truly have not met anyone like you. It is as if everything I have ever wanted and needed in somebody has been put together and rolled into one.”
“That is lovely of you to say, but I am not perfect, far from it.”
“To me you are.”
“Bless you, that is so sweet. I think you are wonderful too, not at all damaged. I cannot believe you said that.”
“Well I am.”
“Not from where I am sitting. You are incredible. Thoughtful, loving, attentive, interesting, sensual and so passionate. Those are just a few of the things that spring to mind when I think about you.”
“What else?”
“Oh let me see. Generous, yes generous and kind, considerate and successful. Entertaining as well. I don’t think I know anybody who can light up a room like you do. I love to watch you when you have everyone’s attention, I can see how much they love to listen to you.”
“Oh you are just saying those things to make me feel better.”
“No not at all, I mean every word, I really do. I have not met anyone as special as you and that is why I love you as I do.”
“You shouldn’t, I don’t mean to be rude, but you will only get hurt.”
“How? By you?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“I don’t know; I just always seem to mess things up. It may sound strange but somehow I want to think, I mean, I kind of know it should work with you, with you more than anybody else, I suppose I am just terrified that what we have is so wonderful, so perfect that I might do something to ruin it and then you would be hurt and I could not stand for that to happen.”
“You see, there you are again, considerate and kind.”
“I could not live with myself if I hurt you and I just do not want to run that risk of that happening. You do not deserve to be hurt.”
“That won’t happen, I can feel it. What you and I have is something out of the ordinary.”
“Yes we have haven’t we?”
“Absolutely. I love you and you love me and nobody is going to change that.”
“I know, I know, but what if, you know I do something?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, it is just that well, previous relationships have not exactly been successful have they? My track record is not great.”
“No but that wasn’t your fault was it? Look, you told me all about what has happened in the past. Not many men would be so honest as you to admit to what you have gone through. That takes real courage and is typical of the honesty and decency you exude. You are a good man and you have been treated abhorrently by some wicked people. Oooh, if I ever met them, I don’t know what I would do.”
“I knew you would understand. You always do. You get me. They never did you see. I tried you know. I always tried to make it work. I just wanted both of us to be happy but you know when whatever you do is not enough? When no matter how hard you try to please somebody but they always find some kind of fault? That was them. They made me feel like it was my fault a lot of the time. They had that way of twisting everything around so I was made out to be the villain. It is hard to explain it, but that is what they did.”
“I understand. There are some people who just delight in the misery of other people but that is not going to happen with you and me.”
“No?”
“No. We have both suffered previously.”
“I know. That is why I do not want to hurt you, you have had enough from the past and you deserve to be treated properly.”
“Well that is what you do. I could not ask for a better boyfriend, I really could not. You put me first, ahead of everything and you do so much for me. I really do appreciate it and each day I feel more in love with you because of what you do for me.”
“Thank you. That is all I want. Both of us to be happy. I think it must just be because of what has happened in the past, I am worried that this time, having found you, it will go wrong again and you will be hurt and I could not live with that.”
“Honestly, there is nothing to worry about. You have just been made to feel like this because of what they have done to you. It is understandable. I know you won’t hurt me. How could anyone who says the things you say to me ever hurt me? I have never had someone say the wonderful and beautiful things you say to me before. You leave me in tears. Tears of happiness admittedly because you just know what to say, you understand me.”
“Yes. There is a connection and it is deep and meaningful and I do not want that ever to be severed. I will fight to my dying breath to stay connected to you. I want to become you.”
“See, there you go again, saying the most wonderful things.”
“You bring it out in me. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know what I would do.”
“Well you don’t have to wonder do you? You’ve got me and you always will have.”
“Do you mean that?”
“Absolutely.”
“You see I am really in heaven every time we kiss. I don’t ever want to hurt you or lose you.”
“That will never happen. You have me forever.”
“I hope so, I really do.”
“You do. Now, let’s not have any more talk about you hurting me, that isn’t going to happen. We have the rest of our lives to be together and be happy. Let me get another bottle of wine, no, it is my turn, you stay there. You do enough running around after me, let me do something for you for a change.”
“Okay, same again please.”
“Coming right up. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
28 thoughts on “You Were Warned”
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Can’t hit like but read,HG
The only thing mine ever said to me that seemed weird was, “I want to unwrap the layers of who you are”. I just took it as him wanting to know everything about who I was as a person, beginning with wanting to know my past (or something); however, after the first year or so, I realized he never once asked me about my past and when I asked him why he didn’t, he said, “it doesn’t matter to me because that’s not who you are now”. Now I know EXACTLY what he meant when he said he wanted to “unwrap the layers” of who I was. He wanted to suck every part of me dry for his own selfish needs and he wanted ever last layer of my soul dried up and dead. Sorry, dude … you didn’t get all of me and you’ll never have another try.
Sadly, the difference between he and I is that my soul will heal. It may take time, but I know my heart and soul will be full again and his never will. 🙂
IF ONLY he would have been so straight forward … I wouldn’t be where I am today, guaranteed.
Excellent article HG
It still gives me chills reading it. Unbelievable that your kind can all have the same script. Mine was EXACTLY like this. Still makes me feel a little stupid though.
I was warned in the beginning, in the middle, and the end, and after the end.
She is still saying “I’m not what you think I am” and she does knows what she is.
And then you throw in ” you will have me forever” and we aren’t even aware of the truth to that. You have set up the Ever Presence to last that long. We feel your touch, smell your scent, hear your voice, and see your face. Thank goodness for Exorcism.
Thank you SW
“do you know you’re in an abusive relationship?” I was asked once, lots of puzzle pieces on their own meant nothing or seemed odd, together you see the picture.
“I’m not what you think I am”
Lololol. Ahhhhhhh!!!! Lol. You posted this just for me didn’t you? I just asked you a day or so ago on a post if you have ever warned anyone before getting into a relationship…. I feel so loved right now HG!!! Lol. Oops sorry….lol. I feel sooooooo STUPID!!! DANG IT!!! You are so freakin right!!! You’ve probably memorized this whole speech!!! As all the other Narcs too. It’s like somebody takes you all to the side before gym class and downloads into your soul exactly what to say!!! Holy Mary Mother of God…. NEVER AGAIN!!!! As soon as the next one says “You know you really shouldn’t get involved with me…” I’m cutting him off right there and saying “I’m sure you are right, see ya!!!” And gettin the hell out of dodge!!!! 🤐 Lol… love you too HG… oops… I mean… Thank you!! 😉
Listen to them. They often reveal themselves to you like this. After I figured out who mine really was, the odd conversations which we had had, that I wasn’t quite following at the time, suddenly made sense. The text messages, read thru this new lens, turned out to be communicating completely different sets of information. They tell you who they are. They warn you.
Btw “I want to become you” would have had me running in the opposite direction at top speed, whether or not I suspected the person to be a Narc or not. *shudder*
I once asked him.. “are you afraid I’ll hurt you..? Is that why you won’t let me in?”
He replied “no, I’m afraid I’ll hurt you….”
Why even bother saying that when it’s extremely clear by his actions that he doesn’t give a damn what he’s done or not. Does the mid Ranger ever get embarrassed after acting out a devaluation with someone he sees on a regular basis professionally?
I always found my N keeps his distance to avoid confrontation and I feel deep down he is truly embarrassed. I’ve obviously been wrong before though;) lol
Hello Puzzle Pieces, his comment was stated for the purpose of exerting control.
No, it is not embarrassment, it is because he is wary of the reaction he may receive which will amount to criticism.
That makes perfect sense, thank you 🙂
Yes the do warn you. Mine said…
I’m an asshole
I just want to drain you dry (energy vampire)
I got you ruled up cause I was testing you.
And after they said these things my intuition was screaming that’s not right yet I still stayed.
But I was wary after each time these comments were spoken.
By the way,do you choose your own photos HG?
Hello Yanki, I choose from a selection that s provided to be in accordance with the brief which I deliver.
You’ve captured me with this photo.Chilling.
I come with a warning sticker. Now there is the Cheshire Cat.
It would be The Best love ever, if it was true <3
OMG. I know this. I have been this – girl, I mean. He also told me that because of this I should not get into a relationship with him and then the moment I said ok, let’s be platonic, the switch flipped and he went crazy chasing me. So he said don’t get involved, but always moved forward and when he pulled back he said he really likes me and I am the most perfect person he has ever met. Technically I can’t even say he cheated or lied because we never made it official but he said those things and I remained hooked and now he says he was very clear from the start.
I always thought it was my fault for not taking him at face value bit the fact is when I did step back he came back and when I pushed him to take things forward he would just put his hands up and vanish for days.
Until today I thought he was just messed up and in a bad place – 2 weeks after dumping me he did start seeing someone though throughout he said he isn’t a relationship person and I am better off without him.. but to the new girl he acted like he loves commitment!
WHAT IS GOING ON?
Did he just like her more? We were ‘together’ for nearly a year and even when he met her he said he still liked me (I had moved cities halfway) so when I came to visit we fought and I called him out on his weirdness and it ended and in 2 weeks – BOOM – he was with her. That ended soon as she dumped him and now he says nothing happened between us. Did he fall in love with her? And what about me? us?
whelp that won’t work any more..*brushes hands off and places them on my hips*
Attichood !
More like attiTude!
Touche! I tip my hat in your general direction.
Lol this actually had me giggling. Its funny when u see thru it. Reverse psychology.
Mine was never a smearer tho. He never talked bad about past relationships which in it itself is clever bc most ppl get suspicious when someones bad talking exes.
This is dripping in naive romaticism
well I say I am damaged too…. and that’s not a warning it’s a fact…
It’s like reading what happened between, my soon to be, ex-Husband and me. It’s sad, because I thought that I was smarter than that. Blinded by the Fake Love. Thank you for sharing!
You are welcome Michelle.