Jettison
There comes a time when this must happen to everybody who has been ensnared by us. There is no hope for anything different. In the way that the world keeps on turning and the planets waltz around the sun, we will always cast you to one side. Of the many cruelties which we exact against you, this ranks as one of the worst. You might think that it is a blessing that the daily machinations and manipulations have ended but you will not see it that way when you are discarded. Indeed, you may not ever realise it.
You are given no warning that you are about to be discarded, although if you know to look for them, there are actually signs that point to what is about to happen. Invariably you are unable to see them because you cannot see or think clearly for the maelstrom that continues to rage around you. There are times when the discard takes place that it is almost as if we have vanished into thin air. Yesterday we met you for lunch as normal and today you have no idea where we are. You have telephoned but our number is no longer in service. You call our work but you are told that we are unavailable as our assigned gatekeeper keeps you at bay. You wait around trying to catch a glimpse of us in order to speak with us and find out what is going on. You see hide nor hair of us and rather than be angry you are worried and concerned both for us and our relationship, or at least what was once our relationship. This form of the discard is swift and brutal. Here yesterday and gone today. We put in place a ring of steel which we will not allow you to penetrate. When this form of discard has been effected you are actually receiving a double whammy of discard and an absent silent treatment. This is designed to reinforce like a hammer blow that you are no longer of any use to us. We do not want to see you, we do not want to hear from you and we do not want to read your e-mails, messages and texts. At least not yet. This form of discard arises because we have already replaced you. We have found a new primary source of fuel and he or she is a thousand times better than you. We have brought down the shutters, raised the drawbridge and built our castle walls thick and high as we now sit in the throne room with our new, wonderful and perfect primary source by our side. You have been struck from the record, deleted and erased. We do not want you distracting us from this most precious person that we have found. The truth is that the memory of us being linked to you irritates and infuriates us. We thought that you were the one who would supply us with positive fuel always. Despite the other failures that had gone before you, you showed such promise and we gave you everything in order to seduce you. Now you are placed on the appliance pile, discarded and broken, of no current use to us. You let us down and we bristle at the thought that we even considered you might be of use to us. Your failure and the fact we chose you means that we feel criticised and the ignition of our fury results in a cold fury that creates this icy hinterland that we place between you and us. We want nothing more to do with you. Until we decide of course it is time to hoover you. This sudden and unexplained cessation of the relationship is only temporary. We will look to reinstate it at some point in order to extract hoover fuel from you, but you do not know this. All you know is that we were once there and no we are no longer and it hurts. Your soul has been wrenched from within you. It does not matter how badly we hurt you, you still wanted that golden period and our sudden departure has denied that from ever happening again, or at least that is what you are led to believe. Your pain is absolute, combined with the confusion and bewilderment.
Another way in which we cast you to one side is akin to being repeatedly dunked in a barrel of icy water. Each time your dunking lasts a little longer and you fear you cannot hold your breath any longer and this time this is it, you are on your way out, only for us to haul you out and that sweet and precious air fills your lungs, if only for an instance before you are thrust back into the water. During that interlude, as the water cleared from your eyes and you gulped great lungfuls of air you saw someone else stood by our side, watching you with a look of curiosity on their face. This is your replacement but we have not yet decided that they are to replace you as we are giving you the chance to prove yourself and provide some further fuel before we push you away and leave you spluttering and gasping on the ground beside the barrel. We never finish you off. That would be pointless. We always need to come back, not that you will realise that as you lie panting and shaking on the ground, cold and soaked, watching as we stroll away, our arm around the new prospect. This steady and controlled discard takes place as we lose interest in you but we have no desire to make our departure sudden and swift. We want to hedge our bets as we firm up our arrangements with your replacement, fine-tuning that seduction as we continue to extract fuel from you through this dunking. We push and pull, toying with your emotions. This is not part of the devaluation even though we exhibit a similar behaviour during that time when we denigrate you and then grant respite. No, this is different. When this is undertaken in an accelerated fashion then you know that it is a form of discard. We may give you a week of hell and then several weeks of the golden period before hell again. That is the push and pull of devaluation. When this technique is applied as discard it is disorientating as one day is fine and the next is not and then fine again. You feel like you are being figuratively bludgeoned and as you try and get your bearings you stagger across the boxing ring away from us only to meet another opponent who continues the beating and then sends you on your way to the next one.
These are just two forms of the way we will discard you. Why do we do it? As ever it is all about fuel. With the first it is because we have new and brilliant fuel and no longer wish to be reminded about your faltering and weak fuel. In the second we have not yet confirmed that the new source is as potent as we require and in the meanwhile we decide to continue to extract further fuel from you as your severance from us takes place in typical salami-slicing fashion. In every entanglement with our kind you will eventually be discarded. You won’t see it coming but it is always in the post, coming along the highway, wending its way towards you.
Don’t be too concerned though. No discard is for ever. We always come back for more.
17 thoughts on “Jettison”
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😮 This explains a lot about the recent treatment I’ve been receiving from my Narc. This past Monday he sent me a text telling me how much he loved me and how I’m his life after a few day breakup. Now after a disagreement Saturday morning, I receive a text stating that he been fell out of love with me. Yesterday I called called called and texted him but he IGNORED me. He has yet to return a call or text. I’m guessing that he’s spending time with my replacement so he can be completely done with me.
That would be hoover…not go over
What is the time lapse? From discard to go over. It seems that this should be somewhat predictable, HG, since from all I’ve read…it appears you are all graduates of some University that teaches this “vocation”. Too many similarities for all of this to be random.
Indeed we are very similar in the way that we operate. The time lapse from when you have been discarded to when we hoover again depends on many factors and therefore one cannot state with any precision what that time period will be.
Trigger-thanx 4 explaining the hell ride …
HG.
What about the fact that we chose you…do you ever think about that? Do you ever think about that? Your behavior is so over the top in the seduction phase that it makes us feel weary and uncomfortable regardless if we’re an empath or not. The signs are there. The red flags are there. Our intuitions are screaming to walk away because ‘ normal ‘ relationships and the progression of any relationship dosent start off this way. We all want to believe in love at first sight. We all want to believe that were part of all hallmark movie. But even though we feel uneasy and something is a bit off…we stay. We chose to. It’s like a drug. And we like it. We chose you. We chose you for making us feel good. We chose you for the high. We were caught up in the moment. We were caught up in the future faking. We were caught up in the sex…even though most of the time you couldn’t maintain an erection or complete the task. We were caught up in the moment if accepting the gifts and the compliments. Who wouldn’t be?
But something shifted. The compliments stopped. My mother died. You had no empathy. The gifts ceased. You started driving like a maniac. Your phone no longer rang. It was on vibrate. You talked about your new personal assistant a lot to triangulate me. Your ex wife called and you answered the phone In front of me and talkef to her. You told me she was a raging alcoholic and cheated on you. You have no friends. You fail at interpersonal relationships. You tried commuting suicide over a woman who was with you…and said she was sleeping with a married man at the same time. She was your real estate agent 6 months ago and she really has been married 20 years and had two teenage sons. You were only with her 3 months. Your a VP of a big company but you hardly work. You come to see me 4 or 5 times a day. You went into my phone and started tracking my wear abouts on my GPS without my knowledge. You live in a big house but it is cold. Unfurnished. You changed your style of dress for me. You got a huge tatoo on your calf because my daughter is a tatoo artist. You grew out your hair. You grew a beard because I loved That look. You are a con man. A phony. I chose you…because I believe in true love.
You just were wolf in Sheeps clothing and when the devaluation started I knew more than ever that you were simply….a con. Nothing more…nothing less.
I un-chose you. I called you out. You unleashed your silent treatment in me for a week. I came to your house to get my things. You said you were done. You were haughty. Arrogant. Chain smoking. You shaved off your beard. You told me you never liked it. You only grew it out for me. I asked what you were doing this weekend. You said you were going out with friends, you have no friends. You said you have a lot of female friends….you don’t like being alone. You said you were going to start dating. You gaslighted me. You made me feel like the demise was all my fault.
You told me you liked me a lot as a friend and wanted to maintain our friendship. Two days before I was the love of your life. We just got back from 10 days in Mexico together. You wanted me and my kids to move in with you after Christmas.
It was all an act. But in the end I chose to stay with you. Red flags and all. But in the end I also chose to walk away. You see I have always had the power. It’s called intuition. It’s the voice of reason. We all have it. Empaths or not, we know right from wrong. And in the end I win. Intuition always wins.
And in the end…its not about you. It’s about me.
Push..pull all you want. But sometimes in the end the very discard that you talk about us not see coming…is the very same thing that we wind up doing to you.
Unleash the rage. Subject us to the silent treatment. Give us your cold fury. In the end….it is you who has procured the abandonment once again. I cannot imagine living a life void of love, paranoia, and rage.
But sometimes in the end…as in the beginning we are the ones who chose you…simply to discard you because we simply….know better and know our worth empaths or not.
Thanks HG for your insight on your blogs and interviews. Your writing is painfully brutal at times but in the end is a powerful tool of insight for anyone (empaths or not) to learn from.
With that being said I’m going to listen to some Smiths….how about ‘Girlfriend in a Coma?’ 😁✌️
Even if we fall for it…and go along, and were aware ‘something isn’t right’ the devaluation stage is more intensified
Stuck through the golden under 3 months…the first month and a half he love bombed and the last tail of it I was in devaluation. I sensed the shift. I called himwitnessed he:
He asked for friendship and told me he had a lot of female friends and could not be alone. He told me he would date again and I would not see it or hear about it (we live three blocks from each other)
I called him out. I told everyone I knew about him. I unmasked him. I sent him an email telling him I could no longer remain in contact with him. I also told him he was a narcissist/sociopath. I also told him that everyone who knows him knows what he is.
He threatened to take extreme measures against me because I called him out. And by extreme measures I mean a restraining order or harassment charges. I never threatend him in any way. I just called him out on his bullshit and lies.
Because of his inability to take any responsibility for the demise of the relationship he had to stupor to that level. I said ‘bring it on’
3 weeks and not a peep from him. I’ve been blocked in every avenue of communication with him. It’s very clear to me that he is with a new source/ or has gone back to an old source (because he cannot be alone) and I am baffled why he would even consider hoovering me at some point when I unmasked him.
I just wish that I was the one who blocked him and went N/C when I ended it.
Yet another brilliant post HG. Are there some sources of fuel who put up with your treatment and allow themselves to be hoovered because they still fancy themselves in love with you?
Yes there are.
And how does that make you feel about them? Any Respect? Better fuel? Reliability? Greater need for those individuals? Disdain for their foolishness? I’m curious.
It tells me that there is fuel waiting to be gathered Catherine. There is no respect for it. There is no greater need for them. Yes, there will be disdain for their foolishness but contentment that they still feel that way and also I expect them to feel that way, thus it reinforces my sense of power.
Oh no, he’ll be back
Do you think maybe you will keep Kim? Are you perhaps a ways out before discard? Can this time be different?
I hope you keep her…
No. It will happen. No.
😞
The hoovers keep coming and I keep ignoring. He told me once that he would never chase me but now he is. He seems to be putting in more effort as he goes along. First silent hoovers and now actually texting me asking me to call him. He underestimated me. Sweet revenge
Oh bloody hell! Yes, it was like being dunked in an icy bucket of water, I could barely breathe.
I feel like this is the response to my questions I posted earlier. I chrono’d some of my experiences on my blog, but made them private. Would enjoy sharing them and hearing your commentary. Not sure if you communicate with your followers via email.
My discard is forever. You see, I believe I may have caused a serious injury to his fragile self. I “felt” a difference in the “good morning, good evening” text messages. Something was off. When I figured out I was not the only one receiving the very same message at the very same time, I answered. “This mobile device does not accept preprogrammed text messages from any Autotext App.” GONE! Disappeared.