Come One Come All

 come-one-come-all

My kind need people. We do not like to admit it as the suggestion of reliance on somebody else brings with it connotations of weakness and this dents our sese of omnipotence. It is however an inescapable fact. We do not like it and indeed this is in part the thing which drives our devaluing behaviour. I need other people because I need to gather fuel from those people through their emotional responses to me. I am often asked and sometimes lambasted for it, whether I obtain fuel from my writing and interaction with those who comment on it, asking questions and advancing their own experiences and theories. I freely admit I do so but emphasise that since all of those who I interact with are remote strangers then in accordance with the fuel index, the amount of fuel that I receive is very low. Nevertheless, it is naturally welcome and I am far more content to receive it than not. The receipt of this fuel though is not the driving force behind why I write and share my experiences, observations and increasing awareness. The receipt of fuel is neither the key reason why I interact with the many people who take the time to comment and question me. I interact with my readers because I gain by exhibiting my works to them. I interact because I learn from my readers, by understanding their views, their responses and their desires. I interact because they can learn from me and the dissemination of my knowledge is a powerful sensation indeed. I interact because I find the questions posed often challenging, invariably interesting and stimulating. I interact because I am interested in the lives and experiences of those who have found themselves participating with me. I also often find them entertaining and humorous too. Through my writing and the almost daily interaction with these people I have also come to recognise that these people fall in to particular groups. I have observed this repeatedly and I wanted to share this observation with you. You may recognise people belonging to these groups and have your own views about that inclusion. You may indeed recognise which group you belong to and quite possibly further categorisations which have not yet occurred to me. I would be interested to know. So, what are these groups?

  1. The Angered

Admittedly not a large group, but there are those who present full of anger and hatred, either towards my kind and even me specifically even though we have never met. Of course, I am representative of my kind, albeit a superior version and therefore it is to be expected that I would take some flak for this. I understand how badly people have been hurt and abused by my kind and therefore this anger is entirely natural. I have no issue whatsoever in people telling me what a bastard I am, that they would like to punch me in the mouth or that I should taken out and shot. If people wish to vent their spleen in such a fashion, they should feel free to do so. They may feel better about it and of course it is just fuel to me.

  1. The Confused

There are those who are completely bewildered by what has happened and this state persists for some time, despite the explanations that I provide and the clarity through which I articulate these explanations. That is not to suggest that these people are thick or stupid, far from it, but is in fact testament to just how confusing, disorientating and perplexing our behaviour can be. Many people in this group cannot fathom out how our kind can be as we are and moreover how we cannot know what we are. It is pleasing to watch as the understanding suddenly forms over time, as the pieces fit together and the whole narcissistic experience begins to make sense. I often find that it is when those people begin to realise that they have to adopt our perspective in order to gain understanding. That is often the breakthrough moment

  1. The Answer Seeker

This group embodies one of the fundamental traits of empathic people; the need to know and understand. Question after question is posed, usually based on their own experiences in order to assist them in fathoming out what type of narcissist this person became entangled with, why the narcissist did as he did and what can be expected to happen next. Occasionally, this group may pose questions which are hypothetical but in the main the repeated and valid asking of questions is premised on what has happened to them.

  1. The Sponge

This group comprises of Answer Seekers but goes beyond this. They wish to know and understand everything there is to know about the narcissistic experience. They need to understand what happened to them but also find considerable interest in the experience of others and then applying their new found knowledge to unravelling he mysteries of the tales from other people. This group cannot get enough of the knowledge and understanding, they wish to examine every facet of narcissism, whether it is from the victim’s perspective or that of the narcissist. They need to know why, how and what. These people soak up all this knowledge and do so with a healthy understanding of their tolerance to do so as they place understanding above emotional response.

  1. The Burnt Victim

This group consists of people who find the whole entanglement with the narcissist still very raw. They may not be confused as they know what they have been ensnared by and they are beginning to understand the essentials of what has happened and why. Moments come when the content is difficult to stomach, the wounds still raw and painful and this may result in occasional absences, yet, the desire to have those wounds heal and push through the pain with commendable bravery sees these people pressing on with their interaction and understanding, no matter how much it continues to hurt.

  1. The Narcissists

As one might expect, my work will attract those who are of my kind and those who perhaps are not quite narcissists but have strong traits in that regard. These people recognise what they are and are content to share this as well as learn more about themselves by reading the words of one of their own. Occasionally they bristle and raise their hackles, once in a while lashing out, leaving others in no doubt as to what they are, but invariably they recognise my arena as a place of knowledge and learning and are content to engage in that as the primary purpose.

  1. The Unwitting Narcissists

From time to time this very small group has a membership when one of our kind wanders by and repeatedly exhibits all the traits which demonstrate that they are one of our kind, but they do not see it. Indeed, their blame-shifting, projection and deflection are manifestly obvious, but not to them for they have no insight. It is not in accordance with the five rules for me to tell them what they are, but I always recognise my kind when they alight here and from time to time they do.

  1. The Introspectives

This group comprises those who wish to learn about the narcissistic experience, ask questions and soak up the knowledge but in doing so, the experience is as much learning about my kind as understanding what they are and why they became entangled or keep becoming entangled. These people see the benefit of beginning to understand themselves by understanding the behaviour of their tormentor and are keen to grasp what it is about them, their behaviour, their past and their characteristics which influences their choices.

  1. The Staters of the Obvious

This group, which is small, consists of those who seem to believe that they have to tell me what I am. I do not include those who advance an idea or theory in a respectful manner based on their own experience and understanding. It is evident when somebody is doing that and such a constructive approach is always welcomed. The Staters of the Obvious have a tendency to tell me what I already know, do so in a derogatory fashion and make it appear as if it is some major revelation to me. For instance, they may announce,

“Your kind are just all spoilt children and you will never be happy.”

Thanks for that. That is illuminating.

Or I am advised,

“You are just a fucking waste of space and karma will get you because you are empty and evil.”

Glad we cleared that up then.

It is of course fuel and many who engage in this do so not because they are angry but because they believe they understand what I am more than I do myself. They are incorrect. This often happens when someone comes across my material for the first time and races to such injudicious pronouncements with digesting more of my work which will soon reveal to them that my level of awareness is considerable. I do find that those individuals flare up and vanish very quickly when the bite they are hoping for does not come. It is easy to play with such people and I could amuse myself by doing so, working them up into a frenzy as they unwittingly realise they are pouring fuel in my direction but that is not a productive use of my time.

  1. On the Up

This group consists of those who are recovering and supplementing their recovery with additional knowledge and understanding. They have a clear direction of where they are going and in typical empathic style they wish to share their experiences and help others. This is not done in a bragging manner (see the group below) and it is not expressed so it is “all about them” but is rather done from the purpose of giving encouragement and inspiring others that there is a way forward and a path through the pain. This group are keen to detail constructively what has worked for them and what has not. Their recollections are often under-stated, modest and sensible.

  1. Point to Prove

By contrast to the above group, those members in this small group feel the need to repeatedly declare how much of a champion they are for surviving. Indeed, I understand the pride which must come to the fore after having suffered horrendously and then having moved forward, but the frequent need to shout this from the rooftops tends to suggest to me that the progress is not as great or a secure as they would like others to believe. Indeed, I often regard those in this group, as compared to those above, as being more in it for themselves and do it more to bash and bait my kind, rather than truly revel in the advancement of their own recovery and those of their fellow victims.

  1. The Weaponising Empath

This group is one of the larger, if not the largest group I find I am interacting with. It consists of people who realise that they have access to a unique resource which they can use repeatedly to help themselves by understanding. They know they can ask questions, read as much or as little as they require, they frame considered and respectful questions and do so in order to understand, to acquire knowledge, to defend themselves and to enable them to tackle the effects and influence of the narcissist or narcissists in their life. The members of this group recognise that they can gain far more by engaging with me than seeking to point score, but that does not mean they will necessarily accept everything that is stated with querying or even challenging it. They adopt an open-minded approach to the ongoing process that they find themselves a part of and are enthusiastic in being able to avail themselves of a rare and unusual source of knowledge. They are able to put to one side any distaste they may have at “fraternising with the enemy” by reason of their empathic nature (they recognise what has happened to my kind as well) and the fact they know they stand far more to gain by extracting knowledge and observation than by engaging in a bun fight. Many appear within this group from the start and others gravitate towards it during their interaction with me. It is a beneficial and rewarding group for its members and for me as well.

Do any of these groups seem familiar to you? Perhaps there are others I have missed. Perhaps you identify which one you belong to. I would be interested to read your observations.

68 thoughts on “Come One Come All

  1. Sophia says:

    Introspective, sponge, answer seeker. Hmmm. I can’t pick one. Sometimes I wonder if I’m a bit narcissistic myself. 🤔 I do like relating to you and to others on here.

  2. BraveHeart says:

    My very first post to you, approximately 5 months ago, definitely had me falling into group #1, but almost immediately, I found myself in groups 2, 3 and 4. Now, I’d say I’m in groups 8, 10 and especially 12. In other words, I’ve experienced quite a flux from when I first began reading your blog and it’s a great relief knowing I’m in (what I personally feel) a much healthier group now; and I owe it all to you!!! Thank you!!!

    😌💕

  3. Leilani says:

    I believe I am #12 today, HG. I will let you know which I will be for tomorrow.

    1. Love says:

      Hi Leilani. Welcome to the empath side. Stay a while. We will braid each other’s hair and talk about our feelings. Usually for hours 😋

      1. Leilani says:

        Haha! Now you know why I am drawn to Empaths vs Codependents. Your nurturing traits and kindness traits do attract me. You are less controlling but more giving and some would say it is because you are easily manipulated.. let’s.. you can braid my long hair anytime but I am feeling a bit anxious about feelings. Oh, maybe I can just soak up your feelings as you have stated you can talk about?

      2. Love says:

        Lol I’m not sure if I’m an empath or a codependent or both or neither. But you are welcome to soak up all my emotions. And I will be happy to braid your long hair.

        1. Leilani says:

          Thank you Love, you are too kind.

  4. NarcAngel says:

    Penny Dropped
    Correction
    That was….an affordable read on Amazon.

    1. penny dropped says:

      thank you

  5. penny dropped says:

    i see myself in several of your categories too H.G. when I first came across this blog (because, as you stated, my kind need to ‘make sense’ of things), sometimes I had to keep re-reading the same paragraphs over and over again, as my mind was in such a whirl with pennies dropping all over the place that I just couldn’t take it in!! I’ve realised so much, about him, about myself, about my parents/grandparents, siblings etc, I feel utterly enlightened, but not yet in a strong position. (I am a strong person, I wish I hadn’t had to be, but yes, I’ve had to be).

    I’m in a bad situation right now, as I’m kind of stuck here in this limbo for the time being, but I at least no longer feel like I’m going mad. I don’t want to have to play these games, but for the time being, I’ve got to to survive (until I can ‘escape’). I’ve dealt with much bigger b*stards than this guy (Mr wonderful…. ask anyone!) but always had my own means before when the inevitable happened, at the moment, I don’t have the means to just leave. Wouldn’t surprise me if a discard is on the horizon soon though, although that wouldn’t be his style as he’d *hate* to be seen as the bad guy, he’d have to manufacture something nasty that I’d done to justify it to everyone.

    Reading your blog extensively has given lots of answers to my questions, as so many scenarios are so familiar, hence I haven’t asked too many questions, I’ve found them already answered somewhere here. I am so glad you share your work with us. It has partially given me my sanity back, and definitely given me strength, and a deserved sense of self worth. Although I’m absolutely sure I’d never want to tangle with you , you have my deepest gratitude, and I shall be lurking, and reading these fascinating insights for a long while yet! THANK YOU>

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are most welcome PD and I am pleased to know you will continue to read. This will enable you to seize the power and achieve the freedom you desire.

      1. penny dropped says:

        I don’t desire it, but my logic tells me I need to do it. If I may ask a question, I ‘think’ I’m behaving in a way at the moment that gives little drips of positive fuel (in order to make being here bearable, although I hate it, as I hate living a lie, so I can’t pretend everything is rosy). I ‘think’ he’s feeling quite powerful about this, especially in light of the big chat we had the other week, which predictably turned into a blame-shifting, gaslighting excercise in which the upshot was I came across as just another mad-bird.

        At this very moment I’m on the receiving end of a bit of a silent treatment…. he was popping round to see a couple of customers for an hour to wish them merry xmas, he left at midday. Is this the right way to handle this? giving bits of positive fuel? Is that the way to make my life as easy as possible for the time being? Or should I be standing up to his machinations a bit and calling him out, in a non-emotional way of course. I think he is an unaware lower-mid-ranger, but not in a violent ragey way, so I don’t feel at risk of physical harm.

        1. NarcAngel says:

          Penny Dropped

          Have you read: Getting out! How to prepare to leave the Narcissist by HG Tudor? An affordable on Amazon.

  6. Lisa says:

    Hmmm interesting. Honestly, I could see a little of this, a little of that in some of them about myself. I do find myself confused sometimes however, about my ex. The type of narc he is. Borderline G/MR is my last idea. As for myself…Im wondering if there is a group that should be called ‘The Mindful Vengefuls’. I do want to learn, and yes I can be vengeful in my thoughts, (somewhat sarcastic I do believe at times too). So basically lets just say Im all those things, mixed with gratitude for you HG, and your willingness to teach.
    Sound about right to you HG? TY 😉

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hi Lisa, thank you and I think the Mindful Vengefuls is a rather good label.

      1. Lisa says:

        Thanks heaps HG. Do you think it is wise to help a friend bring her ex narc to his knees (so to speak). She was the IP, I was secondary for a short period of time. Unbeknown to him we got our heads together and compared notes. He was mortified at the betrayal!! We are working together (using my mindful vengence here), to topple his world and help his next victim to escape. Sounds like a plan to me but how dangerous do you think it could get? Im thinking he is a Greater. Thank you as always…

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Hello Lisa, it is difficult for me to comment accurately since I do not know the individual that you are conspiring against but if he is a Greater as you describe then you will have your work cut out. You will all be smeared, he will apply malign actions against you both in order to isolate you and point you out to be the deranged harpies that he sees you as. You may consider it enough that you and the former IP have got out or enough by assisting his next victim, but if you want to go the whole hog then Revenge is the publication to read. You ought to proceed with caution though if you are indeed tackling a Greater.

          1. Lisa says:

            Thanks HG for the great feedback on this one. I have read Revenge, and used your advice as best I could on my own ex narc, who I believed to be a Greater also. Word has it, he is now suffering alone and lonely. I credit that to my efforts and the things I learned from that brilliant book. This new Greater is already on the backfoot with most everyone in our township/s. (for obvious reasons). I will show my friend IP#1) your comment. She can help decide. Thanks heaps again. 😉

          2. HG Tudor says:

            You are welcome Lisa, if you have him on the backfoot because the groundswell of opinion is with you and against him, then you have the tide with you and in such circumstances you may well wish to press home the advantage.

          3. Lisa says:

            Oooo indeed HG. Let the games continue…..under caution.
            Thank you heaps!! 😉
            Oh PS….incase I dont get to say it later…
            HaPpY NeW YeAr HG!!! 🍻🍸🍹🍸🍾

  7. Santefe says:

    HG, ever seeking to increase my understanding on both ends, how does a narc feel when a victim becomes enraged and possibly dangerous to your type? Do you feel that type of fear or his it fuel of a distorted sorts? And when a victim becomes a danger to herself or worse?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Santefe, if you are enraged it is excellent fuel. If the victim becomes a danger to herself it is useful material to use against her at a later stage (or even then) in order to smear and devalue.

    2. izzy101 says:

      Hi Santefe, HG didn’t really answer your question about the feelings, did he … 😉
      But my ex-narc is exactly like him and his reactions to your mentioned scenarios were: no feelings at all. I once had a car accident because of a text message I received from him (yes, never read text messages while driving …). The content of that message was so horrible I literally lost control. When I told him about my accident and that I had no idea how I landed safely in the field across the road right in front of two cars coming in my direction at high speed, his answer was: it wouldn’t have mattered so much if I had died anyways. Nothing else ever about the accident.
      When I was once feeling very down and depressed (not really because of him) and wrote him about it, he instantly showed this message to “friends” of his, telling them I wanted to kill myself because he had ended the relationship and I was still so much in love with him. Which was so not true. He enjoyed hours of their concern – how hard that was on him…
      No feelings at all, no compassion at all. That was one of the first things that struck me about my ex-narc and which revealed to me what he was in time: the complete, total lack of empathy or sympathy. Those feelings just don’t exist.
      That is hard to accept and I keep wondering, too – what on earth are they feeling?? How? Can that be?

      HG: Did all your talks with your doctors ever lead to a kind of wish on your side that you might want to learn to be more … considerate (in the common sense of the word) of the feelings of others?

      1. HG Tudor says:

        It hasn’t led to a wish that I want to be more considerate but I can see a value in perhaps considering such an approach for the purposes of my own endeavours.

  8. Shesheb says:

    I can see my self in several of these, but most of all the weaponizing empath. I have read every article of yours, HG and six books. I am assuming the videos are linked from narcsite? I will check for them tomorrow.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Shesheb, thank you for reading. I haven’t linked the videos. They can be found on YouTube.

  9. NarcAngel says:

    Other Observed (by me) Groups :

    The Overly Hopeful: those who believe that you can be cured immediately if you would just listen to the logic in their carefully crafted post about just doing the right thing and/or giving yourself up to God. (Sometimes cross over into Staters of the Obvious with declarations of: “just stop hurting people” or “you don’t need to do this to be happy”

    The Groupies: Those who miss the magnetism, charm, intellectual, and seductive traits of their Narc and are now getting the stimulation from interacting with you at least until they can find their next one or stay no contact ( baby steps and no harm intended). There is a sub group here: The Delusionals. This contains those who refuse to believe what you are and think they could be your next IPPS and make it work, ’cause you know- they’re just that special.

    The Frugal Fly-bys: those who just want an answer to their latest dilemma, which is usually the same dilemma repeated ie: when will he hoover me (not because they want to be prepared but because they pray for it daily to be validated). They have read your answer to this repeatedly to others but are sure it doesn’t apply to them. Does not want to pay small fee for private consult or purchase book but instead hogs the blog with their repeated question and demands an immediate response. ‘Cause you know- you exist just for them.

    The Bee: buzzing about from post to post alternately making honey or annoying/stinging until you want to slap the f**k out of them.

    I think Im a Bee.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Brilliant NA, round of applause for you, the Frugal Fly By amused me especially.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        Bow and curtsy.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Ha ha very good.

    2. AH OH says:

      Very nice NA.

      The closest is the Bee for me. But no one is going to slap me.

      I eat honey every day from different areas of the country, Colorado and Hawaii are my favorite. I have honey from Sweden. I wonder how the honey is in the UK.

      Honey and Ginger.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        AH OH

        Nor will they slap me, but they can dream. Every man in my life has been told the same thing: If you ever lay a hand on me you better make it count because you will be judged by 12 or carried by 6 but you WILL be answered. But it stands for everyone.

    3. 1jaded1 says:

      Ha NA. I’ve told HG that if his books were available in stores that I’d buy them. They aren’t so we are at an impasse there. The rest of that category, I’m likely guilty as charged, which would put me into 7 except for that guilt admitting thing.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        1jaded

        I did not have the regular posters here in mind when those categories came to me.

        1. 1jaded1 says:

          Thank you NA..

  10. wompus says:

    I started out as a burnt victim. Some of your words cut me to the core, which I needed. I’m hopefully moving into category #12. Although I don’t comment often, I read every post everyday. It’s truly fascinating to me & I do value the resource you provide.

  11. Victory says:

    Started as Burnt Victim & Confused. Have grown by being the Introspective, Answer seeker to the On the Up & Weaponizing Empath. Strangest growth cycle of my life, includes excellerated learning curve.

    1. izzy101 says:

      I agree. Not only strangest but also strongest growth cycle of my life.

  12. izzy101 says:

    You are especially right in regard to the stages. I just noticed that Im not confused anymore. And yes, I’ve learned a lot about myself, along with learning about your kind, so it won’t happen again and so I can help others understand. So it’s all more like stages, it’s an evolution. A dawning of the truth but still illusion, then confusion, then hunger for information (sponge is very accurate), then growth/understanding of self, etc. I hope your therapists learn from your insight, too, to help victims of narcissistic abuse in the right way. 😉

  13. MLA - Clarece says:

    JN and a former boss told me I was like a sponge – I guess, implying the way I absorb the emotion emitted around me from others. I also think with JN he was referring to how I would constantly try to adapt to his ever changing rules of engagement. So I naturally gravitated to that one. But I see myself in a few others. Your thoughts HG?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The Sponge, soaking up the knowledge.

  14. DFA says:

    Lol you nailed it HG, not that i doubt you.

  15. Janie says:

    I believe I am the answer seeker, sponge, and now weaponising empath as I continue to learn here. I had read a bit about narcissists from both fellow empaths and therapists as well as good doctors yet I have learned so much more reading and listening to your work.
    I needed to hear from a narcissist in order to make the connections in my head. Again Thanks very much.

  16. LMP says:

    Kind of like a 12 step recovery program. 😏
    I (barely) identify with #12, but I am more interested about your sessions with the good Dr.’s. and how you’ve been coming along. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m curious to see how much (if any) a narcissist can actually benefit from therapy.
    I was #12 when I dated a narcissist 3 years ago. I knew what he was but I wanted to study him. I got bored after 2 years.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello LMP, thank you. There is a book called The Good Doctors which will provide more detail on this. Many of my posts although not written from the perspective of an exchange with the good doctors will arise from something that we have discussed and which has made me think or something I feel I need to expand on. Accordingly, many articles are as a consequence of the catalyst of my sessions with the good doctors I just do not introduce them as such. For instance, today’s article Holy Narcissist arose because I attended a church school and this (alongwith religion) arose in a recent session and I was explaining to the good doctors my stance viz a viz God but also how organised religion is a powerful tool for our kind. Hence those discussions appeared in an article. I can safely say that my awareness has increased considerably through therapy.

      1. SII says:

        HG
        Your right on the religion aspect. I was strictly raised catholic. Sunday mass was never missed. It was all such a facade. It made the family look perfect as we all sat stoned faced. It was one of the best coverups of the abuse within those house walls. Unbelievable, we even had to say the rosary each Sunday around my parents bed. We would come back from Christmas mass. The drinking began the abuse began. It was a true mess in a hand bag. It just feels like you make it right with God to continue the abuse.

  17. Adele says:

    Very thought provoking. I can see myself in many of these categories. Anger yes but not geared at you HG or narcissists just what ive gone thru as a result. That said, its easy to judge people and until you look at yourself dont bother judging. Even as an empath or victim you still have choice and its up to you to look after yourself and understand what it is about you that got you in that situation. I hate using the word victim bc i really believe theres a reason why we go thru experiences and thats why were here… to learn. So itd be easy to be angry at the narcissists out there but more productive to look within. I do respect your honesty HG bc narcissists have a hard time admitting and being honest. Thats something to be proud of! Its human nature to be liked and want feedback. Also youve only been polite to commenters so id never post rudeness. If people visit your blog page the same politeness should imo be used.
    Im new to this blog page and am really enjoying not just the valuable info but also the creativity of the writing and the humor too. Its a gift and were lucky you share it.
    I value all my resources whether it be blogs, books, support groups or u tube. They all have a different approach and fit those puzzle pieces together. Its also therapeutic to be able to discuss and read others posts. Again learning from one another. In the end tho no matter which category you belong to once you have that knowledge its up to you what you do with it.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Adele.

  18. Misty Snellings says:

    I just cannot get enough of you Mr. Tudor. Thank You so very much for helping me.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Well thank you Misty.

  19. HG,
    Here stands before you ABB.
    Blindfolded. Hands tied. Up against the wall. You are holding the gun. Take your aim.

    You say, “Any last words ABB”?

    “Yes Master, Tell me true what I am. This is my last dying wish”.

    “You are definitely number(s)….”

    “Thank you HG. I can now die knowing my true self”.

    FIRE!!! (Keira Knightly style from Pirates of the Caribbean)

    With all seriousness, your opinion please my good man.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You should be able to work it out.

      1. I’m but an inferior commenter. My intellect is not as keen as yours. How could I possibly judge myself as clearly as one of your caliber could? Please?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Nice try ABB but if you do not do your homework you won’t get anywhere will you?! Go on, give it a try.

          1. Dang (Joe Dirt Style)
            H.G. your name is Hard Granite isn’t it?
            I don’t see the following categories so…..maybe I fit these:
            Drama Queen? Uh, Court Jester? Poison Arrow Enthusiast? Foul Mouthed Tyrant? Dirty Minded Contortionist? Color Changing Lightbearer? Bubbles and Troubles? Jedi Master? Smoldering Temptress? Ariel the little mermaid? Optimistic Pessimist?
            Any one of those???

            Come on HG, why must you torture me so? I hate homework. I never did it and still got all A’s. Just write the answer on my hand, k? Or pass me that note with the answer….*bats eyelashes, pouty lipped*💙👄

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Hard Granite is correct.

            Go to your room and do your homework. Now!

          3. *scurries off bunny style*
            p.s. I have a room now? I am on a new level. I knew it 😉

    2. Love says:

      As you all know, I think Mr. Tudor is incredible. He walks on water. His words are gospel.
      Yet, I have observed a few things on this blog.
      ABB, he will not tell you what you are because he doesn’t care to know any of us on an individual level. He has not learned any of our stories because he has no intention of utilizing them in his machinations (5 rules).
      He educates us on our traits and gives us knowledge about narcissism and his life story. Yet there is no familiarity. He does not befriend us.

      1. Ello Luv,
        I understand the position. I wonder how you deduced one or all of his 5 rules? If it is all 5, could you expand on the particulars? If he educates us on our traits, was I not simply asking him to help me identify mine so I could apply the correct written material he has provided? I do not see where I have requested his friendship in what I wrote. As for the familiarity aspect, I was asking for his opinion based on my past questions and comments to him. If they are unmemorable then I understand he would not be able to deduce. He would certainly tell me, as in the past, that he does not know enough about me to make that call. Simple and straightforward. Thank you for your input. I know you are his #1 fan and I hope I did not offend your position as such. I do enjoy your protective nature and groveling over him. You remain 👑🐝🌼❣

      2. Love says:

        I was not groveling over him nor protecting him in my previous statement. He has enough information about us all (non newbies) … I’ve yet to read where he identifies anyone with a certain characteristic or trait. In my opinion, it takes a sense of familiarity or friendship to really get to know someone. I know you didn’t ask for either. As for the 5 rules, I am only guessing because of the many times he has stated his intention here. Heck, if he tells you, then let me get in line too (back of the line of course Mr. Tudor 😉)

        Thank you for calling me Queen B lol.

  20. Loving the Silent Treatment says:

    I’m the weaponising empath. I guess you can tell that i have been watching your video’s a lot, especially your silent treatment video’s. They remind me that my spouse, and mother-in-law, needs fuel. And guess who’s the victim? My spouse is a Mid-range naric, my mother-in-law is the Grand Master naric. So, you know what type of hell I’m in. Thank you, Thank you for making these video’s!!!

    1. Loving the Silent Treatment says:

      No…Thank you for making all the video’s!!!!

      1. HG Tudor says:

        My pleasure.

  21. Brian says:

    How far do you think you could survive on positive fuel from helping homeless and elderly people?
    You would get the positive fuel from different people so it wouldnt become stale.
    But how long do you think this could last?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      They would never be a primary source. They may not have the correct fit for me in terms of class traits, empathic traits and so forth, thus they would be of little use to me.

      1. Brian says:

        True, thanks for the answer

  22. Rain says:

    Hello HG!!! Once again you nailed it. As I read all the comments in this group, I could see all the people that you categorized. I am definitely #12;)

  23. Jday says:

    I think I am the answer seeker/sponge, but am really working towards the introspective. It is helpful to know about narcissists (in particular figure out the one I was with for 3 years), but it is more important that I use this as a personal journey to understand my own wounds that I was using the narcissist to “fix.” It won’t do me any good to just spend all my time looking at him without examining myself and why this needed to happen to me in order to grow.

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