Money
Money is one of the most obvious ways in which one can demonstrate one’s power. Money provides options, it reveals opportunities and provides chances where none might have existed previously. Money equates to power and power equates to money. We have a healthy attitude to the question of money. What we create is ours. Yours is ours also. I have written previously how the successful of our kind exhibit our success and our power through the accumulation of money. It may be the creation of a successful business, the climbing of the corporate ladder into well-paid positions of responsibility and it might be the production of items and services that others require. There are of course those of our kind who have not grasped the concept that there is an unique opportunity afforded by the way that we are to be successful and in turn earn substantial amounts of money. Those of our kin who have not harnessed our special attributes in that manner are quite frankly a disappointment and they shall forever remain lesser narcs. Yes they are narcs but quite frankly they are not in my league or that of my high-achieving counterparts. I must admit to having nothing but contempt for those our kind who have failed to apply our abilities in this manner. They are letting the side down. That, however, is a topic for another day. What our less able kind and those of us who have embraced success do have in common is the unfailing ability to drain you of your financial health.
How does this manifest? Perhaps some of the following will be familiar to you?
- Never paying for drinks and meals when out together
- Never contributing to joint expenses and then spending a small fortune on something for ourselves
- Borrowing money repeatedly with a convincing tale of woe attached. The money is never re-paid.
- Taking out loans in your name which you only find about some time later when they are in default
- Learning the house has been mortgaged to the hilt and the advanced funds have been frittered away
- Expensive addictions to drink, drugs, prostitutes and/or gambling which we expect you to bail us out of
- Straight forward theft
- Failing to honour maintenance and child support arrangements
- Selling your possessions
43 thoughts on “Money”
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Oh, I hear someone who s making shoes a few stories over 👠👠👠Dibs on the heels with goldfish in them! 😉
AHOH and INDY
Sounds like a charmed life to me. People are overrated lol. Sounds like you do interact with a choice few and maybe thats enough, more people more drama and problems. I like to interact with complete strangers when travelling ( not that I travel much) but you get the interaction without the responsibility of maintaining any ties. Then I retreat home for peace and to recharge. I feel like people feed off of me. Adam L must be different on stage because sorry girls, I have to say he doesn’t do it for me in any other things I’ve seen him in. Who surprised me was Seal. I went with a friend to see him and had no expectation but he was liquid chocolate on stage. I have noticed though that I am attracted to a man with a flaw (scar on face or lip etc), or even some of what HG refers to as “unfortunate of face” lol. Its more their demeanour. Your closet sounds like a dream AHOH but I am a 9.5. You could call me bigfoot but I think sturdy foundations sound better. INDY I don’t know how you do it being in that business but bless you for it or there might be carnage in the streets ( or even in here). What size shoe are you? Maybe we can trade. Im older than you but you wont find any “servicable” footwear here lol.
NA,
I know, her closet sounds like a fashion models dream. Bummer, I’m 6.5. Though, perhaps we can be like Michael Franti and go barefoot everywhere. Catch a ride with Ms AhOh to South America! Well, except when we all travel back to Canada, we need boots and perhaps snowshoes up there. And fur lined flips. 😄
yes to it all.
and what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine.
“your turn” will never come in a relationship w such a person….
as usual….it’s all about them.
AHOH
I take you as no fool with money or otherwise. I also keep my own money and expect men to have and handle their own. Our money our decision if we part with it. Agreed that men do it all the time and so why should someone look at you differently if you choose to spend it on a friend or companion regardless the sex. But we would never do it and then cry anout it and that is the difference. There are some who will give until financial ruin under the guise of love and then call victimization and offer it as the reason they cannot leave. Others will not give a penny but allow their bodies and minds to be used as currency. The latter are who I was referring to jealousy guarding their wallets but giving themselves up. They are addicted to abuse but try to portray it as the quest to secure love and save another. I dont know why I bother to point that out though as they never identify themselves. Its always someone else. Your planned trips sound fantastic!
Hi NA, it is to Macchu Pichu and Galopigoes Islands. I would prefer to take Lisa, who is my son’s ex GF. I love her to pieces. She is a talented artist and also graduating with a second degree in engineering. (my son talked her into returning for this degree as art degrees are very hard to make a living with)
She is sponsored by a few outdoor gear companies for climbing all the 14ners in Colorado and painting them. Look her up Lisa Dianne Martin in Colorado.
The only time I am foolish with money now is when I add to my collection in my closet. My budget for many years for clothing was 125,000 a year. This is not bragging but pointing out how silly it is. I love to shop, and it is called retail therapy. I spend much less now. It is just ridiculous at this point. I told my son last night not to let anyone rid of my things in the closet. Get a wife that wears a size 8.5. With over 250 pairs of shoes, 40 plus boots, there will be ones she will want. Very few are heels over 2-3 inches, though.
100 plus purses but believe it or not, no Chanel or Hermes.
I guess it is all relevant. As I said retail therapy. When I was married, I spent about 5 hours plus at the mall. I went alone most every time. I use to be very close with Joan Kors, and she said I was a collector. I still get all of her son’s collections for 50% off. BTW Michael is so funny and a very nice man and his husband is good looking.
I have items with tags from 2006. But most things I buy are classic and are timeless. It is nice to walk in and get compliments on outfits and to know that they can’t get them. If I see a something I like on someone, I will ask the designer if I can’t recognize who it is, and look for it.
This is my life, shopping, gym, travel, lunch, dinner, concerts, shows.
Sucks to me……This is the life I have created for myself. This is the misery I have picked. (I actually am content, but I am trying to interact with people more often.)
Went with my son to Maroon FINE last night. Adam is so fucking sexy.
Adam is too sexy to not be a narcissist! Just by virtue of that face alone. Yummy. How was the concert?
Good for you girl, live that life. I am also proud of you (I know, weird, since I do not know you really) …getting out and interacting more often is a good thing. Something I am working on too. Seems weird, huh, since I am in the people biz, but I really keep to myself. All that energy from others can be overwhelming at times. I have to regularly center myself.
Take me, take me!! Macchu Pichu Peru is on my list…I promise I will not talk politics 😉
You are welcomed to join me on my trip. But we need to get HG to join us.
The concert was awesome! We were very close, row 5.
You NEVER discuss the fact that I always manage to avoid the check at dinner…if you discuss it, you draw attention to it and then OTHER PEOPLE will notice that I always avoid the check at dinner.
Yeah… I remember those days. My narc left me pennyless!! He made sure i had nothing. Until i finally got a job😁. It lasted for two years!! He put me through hell while i was empoyed there. But it felt WONDERFUL, getting up going to work!!! Especially on the Holidays, Holiday bonuses😁😁😁!!!!
Yeah, that is one area that does not get touched, my money. I pay my way, independent as all get out. Raised that way, even when I struggled. Can’t buy me, can’t use my money. If I help you, I consider the money gone. If I get it back, it’s a happy surprise. If not, I never relied on the cash and have no worries as I let that money go.
What does it say of those who can jealousy guard their wallets and bank accounts and yet freely hand over their hearts and sanity for merely the promise of “love”? It appears they should think of their worth over net worth.
P.S. But ya- dont give away your damned money. Thats just crazy.
Absolutely, NA. I always knew I had to have money to leave any dangerous situation. Having a child at 18 made me very protective in that sense. And now more protective of my heart too.
True. You cant buy strength or courage but money helps to make the transition easier for those ready to move on. Not to say that its not impossible even for those who dont. They just have to have more strength and you never know how strong you are until you have no other options and a reason. I wish that all women could find that strength in themselves. They have it but they need to believe it. At the end of the day its not that the Narc is so powerful or omnipotent- its that Empaths and company give up their power willingly in hopes of saving a soul where there is none.
Interesting point NA. From now on I should buy love. For an hour, a day, or a week long vacation. At least you get garaunteed romance and mind-blowing sexy time from a professional. Thank God for gigalos. 😉
Haha LOVE
Maybe start with rent or lease. Buyer beware.
Oh good call! I misspoke. I don’t think you can even buy long term. Renting it is. And it allows you to sample all 51 flavors.
NA, “jealousy guard”
Have you ever heard of the saying “a fool and his money are soon parted”
Well at this stage, I am no fool. Besides if one gives up their heart in the belief of love and then when it get broken, you can then pick your misery (or a great beach to go to) to go and lick your wounds.
At this stage of my life, it is hard to find a good companion, and this is for many reasons.
1) They still work
2) They have young children
3) They can not afford to travel as I can
4) They bore me
5) They do not live a healthy lifestyle as I do
6) They drink to much
7) They can not get my interest for long
8) They prefer younger women
9) I do not like to interact with many people
10) They can’t handle the truth
I seem to like men who are younger. I do have one who is absolutely a looker and smart. But he is 33 years young and still very much in the working world. He is selling real estate. We are possibly planning a big trip together, but I need to pay his end, it is not like he can drop 15k just for accommodations. I am hoping he can pay for his flights. So at one time my sister was upset at the thought of paying for a man. I explained that it is silly to think this way. Men do it all the time for women. If I want a particular person to join me with something that is out of their budget, then I can help with it financially. We have known each other for six years. He does look good on my arm. So this is the only way I share my money with a man. I also buy gifts for people I like.
Funny, I never bought my narc a gift. But it was a short-lived encounter.
My Mid-Range father used money and other assets to exert power and control over his own family and over other people. Among other things, he worked with other professionals like him (one of them is a relative of mine) to find a way to disinherit me “legally” because it is not allowed to do it in the country where I come from.
My other siblings and their Mid-Range partners got what was supposed to be my share (50/50 each, according to country laws). As I live abroad, I had also asked them to please send me my possessions before going NC but they did not do it either. I guess they have already sold them by now. It is not surprising that my siblings’ partners engaged in smearing me too, although they have met me only once in their lives and they hardly know me.
As my parents could not control me emotionally, they destroyed me socially and financially. I have read that cutting children out of wills, independently of what methods narcissists use, are ways to “figuratively kill them”.
E.B. Sorry to hear you were disinherited. I wonder what country you are from that it is a law to leave anything to any particular person or relative.
In the U.S. I can leave the estate to persons or charity, I have chosen.
Sometimes I want to cut out my son due to his, soon to be wife. I can only put it in a trust, but he can pull it out and then she can have access. I can control it from the grave by stating it can’t be taken in total until a certain age. Also perhaps I can limit what they take yearly. (I need to look into this)
Nothing like having control from the grave.
Or I can go out writing a bad check!! Then the joke is on them!
@Ah Oh
He didn’t disinherit me ”officially” or through a will. There was no will. My father used different ways to transfer most of his assets to my siblings before his death when he knew he would not have many years left. One of them was a company that dealt in bearer shares. He put several properties into it. It is usually done by people who want to protect their assets from a divorce or from inheritance/intestacy succession. I’m not from the US.
Another time he used a power of attorney I had given him to sell a property, which he had previously given me and was registered under my name, to Golden Child sibling. Needless to say, I never got any money for it and GC (The Buyer) never mentioned anything about it. I live abroad and learnt about it after my father’s death. My siblings are married. Properties acquired during the marriage are marital property (50/50). My narcissistic siblings’ spouses entered the marriage without property or other investments.
Is your son a narcissist? I hope you don’t punish him because of his soon-to-be wife. Having control from the grave is what narcissistic parents want. If your son was not brainwashed by his father, he will always be there for you, Ah Oh.
I wish you a Happy New Year! 🙂
All of us have narcissistic traits. We do not have the dark side.
My sons are very hard on me at times with the know it all young brains that they have. They are well educated and it makes them think they know more then me. Perhaps they might in a certain subject and if this is the case I listen and learn. But they still do not grasp the concept of TIME ON EARTH. Nothing like the good ole school of knocks. I have 30 plus years of moving, shaking, bobbing and weaving through life.
All in all I have good sons who are productive in society.
I have the trust, a living will and upon my death, the cremation bought and paid for. The only thing that is not in the will is the art work, jewelry and personal effects. They will decide amongst themselves who gets what. I just have not made the list to add to the trust. Perhaps in 2017 I will get to this.
But for now, I will live and live well!
Ive seen narcs squander money away and create financial ruin in my family. Oddly my narc has never taken money from me even when he lost his job. Id offered to help him and he wouldnt accept help. I think every narc is different as every individual is. The majority would tho!
Adele, my narc never takes money frm me either, even if i offer. He hates taking help frm others. Since narcs like power, he relates power to independence, and that includes financial independence.
Hi ptsd…yes it doesnt seem to fit the npd template but im learning no two are alike. He gets funny with gifts i get him. hes all thank yous thats so sweet etc but then gets distant. The defense mechanism. They hate accepting too much kindness bc they know theyll be narcky again not long after
‘Narcky’ lol 😂
PANB He is a nice Narc. You are lucky. I know so many women in debt due to men.
My Narc did not take money from me either, but he never had the chance. He did show me his worth (researched the properties)
Thx AH OH. My narc never takes money frm me but he spends his own money unnecessarily, which he probably should not do because he was a student in college at the time. Students usually need to watch their wallets! Now, after having just completed his masters degree, he landed a high paying job in his field of study. I’m proud of him!
Reblogged this on Speak Out 4 Others and commented:
My ex was the cheapest person I’ve ever met. He’d even “borrow” money from his disabled brother and never pay him back or they would go to a friend’s wedding and make his brother provide the $ for the card as a gift. Disgusting piece of trash.
He tried to get my money and I did give him plenty. My bff told me not too long ago that she saw it happening. The funny part is that I’m not wealthy.
I read more about Robert Maxwell. He does seem like he was one of your kind. According to Wikipedia he said something to the fact that men were too independent to have them work for him. Women were extensions. Fcn bingo. His wife is someone who I admire. I read an interview from 1995 that she granted to the NYT. It was wrenching. She was so strong. His youngest daughter was born on Christmas. He named his yacht after her. I wonder if she was the golden child. What do you think, HG? She seems to have her own issues. Thank you HG for giving me greater knowledge.
Regarding money…what would you do if you woke up tomorrow and found it useless? Doomsayers say that it could happen.
Good job I have gold and charm then 1jaded oh and weapons too.
You are a dooms sayer too, HG? How do you have weapons in the U.K.
I think you meant doomsdayer yes? We do have weapons in the UK albeit strictly licensed and of course (if one was minded to do so) it is not difficult to purchase an illegal firearm at all when you know who to speak to.
“Dooms sayer”, I meant what I typed. I liken this type going around and crying “the sky is falling”.
I know a few of them and at this stage of the game, I do not want to live in a world that I have to fight for food. I have been hungry before.
So I ask again. Are you a dooms sayer HG?
No.
I’m not surprised. I hope it doesn’t come to that point.
1J1 Then you need your 2 year supply of food and your bullets, like the Mormons.
Gold and silver.
But bullets will also work.
I will be SOL
Merry Christmas hg. Is your book about drinking and addictions coming out soon??
Merry Christmas Lizz, it is a work in progress at present.
I am generous to those I care about, But to get into my money, fat chance. I have been stung enough in life. I am well protected and have a failsafe in place. I would share if I cared enough for someone but to destroy me financially would be a death sentence for sure. This is a fact. Does anyone want to test this?
As my friend said one day, “they would have to pry it out of your cold, stiff hand.”
I am sure that Mr. Tudor does not lower himself to this. I am sure Mr. Tudor is successful and uses other weapons of mass destruction.
This is just a low down way to hurt.
I lost my share of a company and property to my 1st ex as I thought my children would benefit, so I did not fight, besides I just wanted out. He didn’t help with one damn thing and still dos not. No damn way. I would not have a problem with putting a fucking bullet through their damn skull.
I do know of many who have gotten into financial woes due to narcs or just POS people.
I know financial loss for many reasons. Now it will only be to the dollar collapsing and not some Mother Fucker who thinks he will outsmart me. If I think someone is playing this game with me, I will destroy them.
Oh? You think he fell do you? Bwa hahahaha
Many Empaths are employed on yachts due to suitable servitude and pleasantry with the guests but it gets hot down below………..
Can you write an article on how your kind who do have access to wealth use this to ensare and control both the victim (who has no money or access to wealth) and the victim’s children?
Yes I can Rebecca. I have made a note.