20 Cries of the Victim
We do not think of ourselves as victims, to do so would be weak and we are not weak. You are. We are better than you. We do however feel put upon, hard done by and persecuted and it is you that does these things in order to victimise us. Evidencing our legendary double standards, we do not consider ourselves as victims as this does not accord with our sense of superiority, but we like to portray a victim mentality because doing so serves our purposes. There are many things that we say which evidence this mentality and when you hear them you should know that we are looking for you to respond. We want reassurance, praise, an admission of fault from you, confirmation that we are brilliant, an apology and for you to do what we want you to do. Playing the victim card allows us to gain fuel from sympathy and compassion, assistance when we do not want to do something, absolution from responsibility and preventing you from doing something we do not want you to do. Here are twenty cries of apparent victimhood.
- You make my life so difficult.
- Why are you treating me like this?
- You never try to understand me,
- What about me?
- What am I going to do now?
- How’s that supposed to make me feel?
- You are meant to look after me.
- It’s not my fault.
- I can’t help the way I am.
- Why must you be so difficult with me over this?
- You never listen to me.
- You always make it about you, never about me.
- You never do what I want.
- You don’t love me like you should.
- You never do what I want.
- You never let me speak.
- You always treat me like a fool.
- You are the reason for all of my problems.
- You are trying to ruin my life.
- Why do you do this to me?
Watch out for these comments from our kind because they are the foreshadowing of further manipulation of you.
16 thoughts on “20 Cries of the Victim”
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Thank you so much, HG! Yes, they are in major denial, so BRING DOWN THE GAUNTLET!!! 😁👍
HG, I know you can do this, I’m just not sure how, but I’d really like to have you write an article dealing with women (or men) getting involved with married men (or women) and how most all of the games being played are Narcissistic traits. I just can’t seem to get the women on the other website “Breaking up with a Married Men” to see value in going to your blog. I know it’s not my responsibility to help them, but I thought if I could present them with an article that relates specifically to what they’re dealing with (Golden periods, devaluations, silent treatments, hooverings, no contact) all in one place (at least to get them really thinking that their MM could actually be narcs) then maybe they’d give the rest of your blog a chance. I’ve changed a few women’s minds about the MM in their lives,. I’ve posted so many of your articles and also suggested your books, but I thought if I could send them one last “WOW” (light bulb moment) article relating more to what they’re going through, then I’ve done all I can and if that doesn’t do anything for them, they’re on their own from that point forward. Just thought I’d ask if you would mind doing that. Thank you!!! 🙂
Hello BH, I understand where you are coming from. I have said many times that people see certain behaviours and think them odd and they sit and ponder, they go over them to the nth degree with friends and so on and so forth, they get worked up about wondering why he or she is behaving that way and if they knew this was narcissistic behaviour then they would cease their dissection of the behaviours and concentrate on moving forward. I would be happy to do that for you to disseminate. I should imagine that the women on the website you mention engage in clinging to the hope that he or she will change and so forth and are very much in denial. Sounds like it is time for HG’s Gauntlet of Brutal Truth to be put on!
I can still learn something from you, Mr. Tudor.
After he was exposed, his facade was stripped, and he went into depression:
8) instead of saying “it’s not my fault”, he says “it’s all my fault”
19) instead of saying “you are trying to ruin my life”, he says “i ruined your life”
20) instead of saying “why do you do this to me?”, he says “why did i do this to you?”
Pity plays each and every one.
thank You Sir. I’d never anticipate that the “victim card” are indicators of further manipulations queuing. I always thought that just that is good enough. Thank You.
He just sent a message on his page that states maybe one never wanted his phone number. WTF, I am nice to all my buyers and I do text done for offline transaction to avoid 20 % fees. HG, after a day of negotiations I am selling the Jordan for my niece she’s a normal she’s like screw how does he feels I am dedicated to friendship?
After, PTSD and other disorder I was unable to work. However, I was/am a shopaholic trying to fill the void. I used to sale mainly on a well known site but I have discovered smaller more intimate sites that cater to women. Recently, they opened up for men and children clothing. I received an offer from a male buyer. Which I initially declined, but assured him I would try to work something out. He ended up paying about 20% less than listed price and receive discounted shipping.
I thank him for purchase and assured I would shipped tomorrow.
He asked if it was okay to chat there, I told him it was fine I have several friends there. He then proceeded to say he apologized, he want bother me any more. Told me to continue to talk to my friends. Apologized for offending me stated he wanted to give me his cell number. Thanks HG, in the past I would see this as strange but come up with an excuse. Now i will cancel his order for 7 year old daughter and block his crazy ass.
21. You don’t support or believe in me
22. All you care about is yourself
23. We would still be together of only you accepted me
24. You don’t trust me
25. Who are you that I need to lie? I’ve been. Honest from the go.
26. Your the queen and I am nothing
27. She celebrates me, and doesn’t show hate
28. Take out time to work on yourself and I will do the same (code for pending source)
29. Now you are behaving like him/her
The list could go on and on. Now, I play the games. I called to asked if his grandmother’s death had hit him yet. He said no but I am sure it’s coming. Me..nope it’s not coming. Then abruptly hung up, stating my boss was coming. He text and called. I ignored all contacts he’s the lesser. I felt evil, HG are you creating monster’s 😊 Happy New Years
“When YOU do it, I do not get angry with YOU.” “What? When did I ever?” “Happens all the time. Convenient memory you have.”
“I do not know what you are talking about.”
If word gets out of a narc’s behavior, he/she will blast back public accusations of slander to the victim, especially if the victim is well-loved and credible. Lieutenants will help. Every resource will be expended until the victim is cast out; and, chances are, the victim will be so frustrated by the responses of everyone that she/he will look neurotic to anyone paying attention (if they care enough to pay attention anymore).
Brilliant. H G. Do Narcissists ever rage at themselves? If so does this happen in front of others or is that just for show? Thanks.
It may happen when fuel levels plummet to a low level but the raging would not be so much at ourselves but at the cruelty of this world for putting us in such a position.
HG, Would a boyfriend raging at himself in the context of things keep going wrong/messing up, then beating his own head against the wall until it bleeds in FRONT of me be an example of this? Or is that a different type of mental illness?
I would need more detail to establish the relevant facts and context and therefore this is a matter for consultation.