6 Speciality Hoovers (And How To Unplug Them)
The hoover. An instrument of cleaning and the instrument by which we endeavour to suck you back into our false reality so we can exert our hold over you once again. Hoovers come at various stages of your dance with us and also come in a variety of forms and guises so that you may not even realise that a hoover is taking place. Hoovers come in two categories which are linked to when they take place and the method adopted to hoover. Some methods can apply to different times in the interaction with our kind, others apply to just one time, often post discard or post escape. There are scores of different methods used in hoovers but here are six which may or may not be familiar to you along with how you can endeavour to pull the plug on them and avoid being sucked in. It is worth pointing out of course that if your narcissist cannot find you and contact you, the hoover can never get started, but that state of affairs is not always possible.
- The Proxy Hoover
This does not come from the narcissist but from one of his supporters in his coterie or his Lieutenants. It usually comes from a Lieutenant who can be relied on to execute the hoover in precisely the way that we have directed. The Proxy Hoover will often include a different type of hoover e.g. The Medical Emergency Hoover where the narcissist will use a genuine or more likely feign a medical emergency to force interaction between you and the narcissist and engender sympathy. With the proxy, the call alerting you to the emergency concerning the narcissist will come from the Lieutenant. Like any proxy hoover, there are several reasons for adopting this approach: –
- You may not realise the person is a lieutenant and therefore you are more likely to respond to what they say than if it came from our kind, especially if you have instigated no contact;
- The conflict between you and us is ameliorated as a consequence of the involvement of this third party, meaning you are more likely to believe what you are being told;
- The proxy may stand more chance of persuading you to act;
- You may regard what we say and do with suspicion but not this third party
- You may not want to look bad in the eyes of the third party by failing to respond.
The key to dealing with this hoover is actually recognise what it is. It is not a third party asking for your help, it is a third party coercing you into contact with us again. You should be especially aware of any of your friends or family asking you to see us or do something for us, or if they comment about how good you and I were together, that we really do miss you and so on. We will infiltrate your supporters to gain added credibility and slip under your radar in this manner. Be aware that any third party who asks you to engage with us is a proxy who is executing the hoover on our behalf. No matter how purportedly significant the event is, the emotional pull involved or the persuasion applied reject it and do so in a firm and business-like manner. Do not show indecision, do not appear upset or concerned or even annoyed or irritated by the approach – even if you do not engage this reaction will be reported to us and will achieve two things for us. One, fuel. Secondly, we know we still have an effect on you and we will keep hoovering. If you are concerned the nature of the proxy hoover may be genuine suggest the Lieutenant finds someone else to help.
- The Reverse Hoover
This is quite a cunning method of hoovering. We let it be known through various channels that we do not want anything to do with you, that you should never darken our doorstep again and that we are through with you. This message will be broadcast over all channels – through friends, family, social media and so on. It is not said by us directly to you, that would defeat the purpose. We ensure this message reaches you and the aim is to have you disbelieve that we would say such a thing about you and to appeal to your desire to prove us wrong. Just in the way that a parent causes problems by denying a teenager any opportunity to hang out after 9pm, so they go and do it anyway, by telling you there is something that you cannot do, you then want to do it. Of course we have to gauge the right recipient of this hoover as some people will be content to hear us say those words. It is usually done with those we have discarded without telling that person they have been discarded and they cannot quite believe that it is at an end. This proclamation will cause them concern but they are still not ready to accept that it is the case that the relationship has ended (and they are right because it never ends) and therefore they come looking for an explanation and confirmation that what they have heard is not true. By not telling you direct we can tell you that the rumours you have heard are false and welcome you back with open arms as you are successfully hoovered. Again, recognise this for what it is and avoid acting on what you have been told. It is a ruse to play on your trait of needing to know. If you hear such things being said tell yourself that the comments are true, it is over and we do not want anything to do with you and stay away.
- The Letterbox Hoover
This hoover utilises the strong link we know that exists for some time post discard or post escape between seeing a trigger and the golden memories (and/or dark memories) that flow from the trigger. For example, we always slow danced to a particular piece of music with you which made you feel loved and wonderful. If you hear that piece of music the memory is awakened and we flood your memory and your senses. This is ever presence. To avoid this happening you need to take all steps not to play this piece of music again, indulge yourself with new pieces of music and if you hear it inadvertently to switch it off or move away from its source. With this hoover we want to scale your defences and use ever presence to get back in to your head, cause you to think of us and react (and although we do not see it we will get fuel because we know how you will respond) and make you vulnerable to wanting to contact us or a further hoover approach from us. One method of doing this is to send you a birthday or Christmas card with a beautiful, thoughtful handwritten message, often alluding to what we did together on a wonderful birthday or Christmas together during our golden period. This arrives with other cards and therefore is less noticeable. We will most likely print the address or have someone else write it for us so our handwriting does not alert you on the envelope. Once you open it, you read the message and see it is from us and bam! We are in your head and heart once again. It is a pleasant gesture, no malice and you will remember all the good things, think about us, want to contact us and thank us and wonder if this represents a fresh beginning of good relations or the chance to get back together and do things right this time. It is a hoover pure and simple.
To tackle this covert hoovering method, have someone vet all cards and parcels which are sent to you around Christmas, birthday and other appropriate festivals and events. Once checked this person can weed out anything from us and then reseal the envelopes for you so you still have the pleasant act of opening the envelopes and cards for yourself, that have been sent from anybody but us.
- The Psychic Connection
This is effective if we know that you are a spiritual person who believes in psychic events, astrology, ghosts, telepathy and the emotional connections between people that are stronger than normal. These beliefs and similar are often applicable to empathic people who of course form our victims of choice. We will use a supposed psychic connection or event to appeal to this nature of yours in order to signify that something special has happened which means we need to be together. We have to have the means of contacting you, often by sending you a message or leaving a voicemail. It is done in a dramatic fashion as we have suddenly uncovered a mystical or portentous occurrence which is of deep-seated significance which tells us that we are meant to be together, we should see each other straight away to discuss its implications or that it has caused us to see the light with it being conveyed in such a manner. Examples will include
- Claiming to have dreamt about you in a strange and significant way;
- We have seen a clairvoyant who spoke about you and I;
- We saw your image when you were not there as if you needed to tell us something;
- A picture of you fell off the wall or fell over on our desk without explanation and we knew this meant you wanted to get in touch;
- We have had a vision of something terrible happening to you and we have to warn you to save you;
- Your face appeared in the froth on our morning latte;
- Your name was spelt in jam on the kitchen floor when we dropped our toast.
From the possible to the ridiculous we will exploit your belief in such things in order to establish contact again. Recognise any messages that allude to the above or similar things as what they are; a hoover and do not respond to them in any fashion no matter how curious or compelling it may feel.
- The Silent Hoover
This comes in the form of a telephone call but there is no message left or nobody speaks when you answer. It is a blank text message or empty e-mail. It is an invitation to use a particular app on your phone. The purpose of this is to get you to respond to find out why it was sent or done. Once you do so we will either escalate the nature of the hoover by turning on the charm or trying to draw sympathy etc. through the application of a further hoover. We may not respond when you telephone but we know that we have been able to make you respond and we will do a few further Silent Hoovers to increase your curiosity and confirm that you are vulnerable now to our overture by way of a further hoover. If you fail to respond or do so and dismiss us we save face by saying it was sent by mistake a “butt call” or we hit the wrong key etc. If you respond favourably then we have a green light to apply further pressure to seduce you again. Once again recognise this for what it is and no matter how curious as to why it has been sent do not respond. It is a hoover which will rope you in and have you subjected to further additional hoovers of a different nature.
- The Prove Yourself Hoover
Similar to The Reverse Hoover, this hoover relies on your need to say your piece, stand up for yourself and have the last word. It relies on ensuring that a smear campaign has been effected against you and something particularly ridiculous or savage has been said about you. We will ensure that word reaches you through messages from third parties, third parties telling you to your face or postings on social media so you are gripped by the need to respond, set the record straight and tell us what has really happened in order to get us to accept this and issue an apology and correction. We know the type of victim that this really strikes home with, those who always need the truth to be told, who need to be held in correct regard by other people and those who must set us straight. We know you will be sat bristling, incredulous at what is being said about you and you cannot help yourself but want to get the true version out there and ram our words back down our throat. This hoover relies on this and the fuel that flows as you come charging at us ready to make us eat our words. This is precisely that we want to happen.
Again, recognise it is happening and do not respond. If you need to ensure people know the truth, then tell them in an even-handed and level manner and refer to evidence wherever possible rather than oral testimony and hearsay. Do not try and approach us, do not try and persuade us. We are not interested in that. We are interested in your fuel and getting to interact with you again.
To learn more about the narcissistic hoover read Black Hole – Available on Amazon
US https://www.amazon.com/Black-Hole-Narcissistic-Hoover-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01D7OPOFQ
UK https://www.amazon.co.uk/Black-Hole-Narcissistic-Hoover-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01D7OPOFQ
CAN https://www.amazon.ca/Black-Hole-Narcissistic-Hoover-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01D7OPOFQ
52 thoughts on “6 Speciality Hoovers (And How To Unplug Them)”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Dear HG Tudor,
I appreciate your input; it’s been very helpful. As I reach “dry land” I have a question for you. It’s been two months since no-contact was initiated. When hovering does occur, which I suspect will be by telephone, what is your recommendation on how I should respond? I’d like to be cordial and sincerely wish him the best. (I’d also like my earrings back, put perhaps not getting them is a small price to pay). Your thoughts?
Best,
-K
Ignore him. Preserve your no contact. You do not need to be cordial. You do not need to wish him the best. You do not need your ear rings (or get somebody else to recover them but not you). No contact must be maintained.
M. Tudor, there is a song, I believe, entitled: You Fill Up My Senses. I was wondering, do you sing? 🙂
There is indeed such a song. Sheffield United (a football team) sing the Chip Butty song to the same tune. It is a marvel to hear.
Yes I sing. My praises.
ohh, lol..yaa..I seeee 🥁🥁🥁 here is a drum rrrr’roll for ya…
Viral infection. Wiindigo. I am a Native American. The Wiindigo, as a virus of the soul, goes back thousands of years. I love the Wicca post! Fascinating Elaine!!
<3 X's Still Confused…like most all of you…I am quite a mixture…both surnames are Welsh. I am also of French Acadian, Scottish, and Mik' Ma =Metis origins(mother through father side).
All believers of the paranormal & the spiritual connection.
Most all of my Grandmothers and Great Grandmothers were Hedge witches.
We may well be cousins!
Hi ava101…:)
Read all you can about this in the articles and comments written in the archives here about “ever presence”…it is a real phenom that I can attest to.
I had been practicing out of body exercises and transcendental meditation since very young, and all I can tell you is that it feels similar to that…but is different. Being Wicca (and a Catholic one to boot) you can bet my spouse took advantage of my first and his 1st religions upbringing throughout the marriage and my second throughout the devaluation.
I am a witch that simply put a spell on him of course he tells all…able to draw him in repeatedly by just a glance, spell, lotion, or potion, through ritual baths or through fire.
all true of course & everyone knows this…I hid nothing.
He loved me for it…that’s partly why he won’t come near me…that and (chair hats are not in fashion yet it seems this 2017 season) ;).
I am with him wherever he goes now. I am now HIS ever presence.
He has assured this.
He will never get rid of me. But not in the same ways he still invisions.
All N’s believe the next greatest “whatever” will be just around the corner…no for him…he will always be just being met by me or should I say, my essence, when he gets there. I help him make up his mind to leave. I help him pack. I sit with him on the ride. I walk through each new front door to home or work or play. Although I am not there.
He is a true coward and susceptible to his own fears which I assure I play on.
His tell in the end though…his projection…among many… for he was a greater witch than I ever knew him capable.
Alas though 8 years his junior… over the last 5 years of our separation …I have reached CRONE status…and have become all he for warned to others…though only to him.
I don’t have to be near his side any longer to get to him or under his skin.
I’m so good that my flying Monkey authorities and real lieutenants go right to his door…and work place, and girlfriends house, and take his pay and bank accounts, and RRSP’s , vehicles, possessions, & licenses, everywhere he has gone 10 times and up to 1,500 miles away…is still not far enough…for my reach…he can’t get any further…I have his passport ;).
and of course you know I do my part to make sure this is all possible.
HG would most likely point you in the right direction of the appropriate article titles.
Thanks EBS. Try Ever presence, I Fill Up Your Senses, Viral Infection and Why Is He Always In My Head? More detailed information is contained in the books No Contact and Exorcism.
Buying these books!
<3
I know Psychic Cords are real. I didn’t see “him” but I saw little black “mouse” things darting here and there for a few months. It sounds, and us, crazy. Our minds can do some amazing and frightening things. The entire experience is demonic and intentional. Google the different Cords. You will be floored by what you learn. Soul Ties (same thing) are spoken of in the Bible (that was news to me). This, narcissism, goes beyond a “personality disorder”. At the risk of sounding totally nuts… I believe they are soul eaters.
It is interesting SC because there are a range of commonly asked questions which I receive (more on FB and YouTube than here) which are
“Are you a demon?”
“Are you possessed by demonic energy?”
“You are a son of Satan, that is why you act as a demon, yes?”
It is a question of perspective. Certainly a spiritual angle provides a viewpoint as does the psychological.
I do not think your kind are demons. Just as I don’t think my kind are Angels. I do believe in forces of good and evil and the very present battle between the two. “We” try to save, “you” try to destroy. Both sides of the same coin with the very small division between heads and tails being impassable. We ate the same you and I…but for that one fork in the road, that perhaps subconscious decision made long ago. We are all damaged children. When we reached that fork in the road you went to the dark… I went to the light. The extremes of the Empath and the extremes of the Narcissist…the reason we are drawn to each other. Those undamaged are between us. Those we are not attracted to. Perhaps we search for that missing part of ourselves in our shared, though opposite extremes? Or are we pawns? Chess pieces played by good and evil? Theories, thoughts, I could write volumes. A demon though? No. You are not a demon.
I could write a very long response to this that might be of interest, but I will not take up anyone’s time, or the blog page, in doing so. No, I am not even writing this in hopes that I will be asked to do so. I am just making a point to mention that I have thought about such things, myself. Maybe this is all I should have written, then: I have thought about such things, myself.
SC, what would I Google exactly? I am a bit curious.
Wiindigo? Soul Ties? Which subject WP? Sorry… I kind went a hit all over the place!
Thank you, SC…your comment you just wrote above your other one was very articulate and understandable. I agree about the “fork in the road”. I also think there are different severities of these disorders, too. I question whether a Psychopath is at fault if their disorder is actually an organic matter that they were born with, and not a choice. There are many mysteries in this world. 🎭🎭🎭
Thank you all for your thoughts!
But where would the cords go on his part?
I asked my ex-narc about this years ago and his answer was that he had heard that from several women in his life (…) and that this was normal to him. That it must have to do with his radiant / vibrant personality … ;P
I thought in the first weeks (okay, later, too, I will admit it) that he was my dual soul, my soul mate, my dark twin, etc. Everything seemed the exact counterpart to me.
But we have learned a lot about mirroring and the effect on these mirror neurons (what’s the termin in English??) as well as the effect of abuse / trauma on the neurons/neurotransmitters.
So, I don’t believe anymore at all that we had a special connection. Karmic in a sense, yes. But that’s because his patterns and imprinting match mine perfectly in a reverse way. I felt at home because he is like my father was. That’s not a soul connection.
*sigh*
Maybe I got psychotic in regard to him *harhar*.
To take his premeditated actions and his lies into account seems to be a valid explanation.
https://letmereach.com/2014/07/09/psychic-cord-cutting-as-part-of-the-healing-process/
Etherial Cords, Soul Ties, Psychic Cords, Trauma Bond… All very real and all play games with your mind. Residual BS. The ongoing connection to these slithering reptiles does not leave when they do. You remain tied, connected. You have to cut these ties (there is an exercise) yourself, they never will.
So you think that etherial cords are a real possibility, too? But how, given the make up of the narc? Trauma Bond doesn’t explain “sightings” 😉 of the narc, right?
Speaking of “Psychic” … Tell me if you will HG… Do your kind “feel” us? After discard, do you still receive fuel from the psychic/etherial cord connection? If so, can you feel when the connection has been severed and removed (there is a way we can do this). That your kind stays in our mind, wakes us at all hours of the night, causes uncontrollable crying…do you know? Do you feel the damage you’ve done? Do you still gain satisfaction from your handiwork? But again, can you feel the absence when the ties are irrevocably destroyed? There must be some long term benefit to the evil your kind does.
Yes we do, it is the basis of Thought Fuel Still Confused, but it is based more on knowing than feeling.
Knowing HG? without “feeling” how would your kind identify the severing? A brief void?
We know because we have witnessed your reactions previously, we remember them and when we do something absent from you then we think on how we anticipate you will react and this knowledge becomes Thought Fuel.
Ah. So then you DO think of us from time to time…in a demented sort of way! Do your kind allow us to fall deeply in love with you JUST so you can deliver the worst kind of pain HG? Is it truly only a “set up” from the very first “hi”?
It gives such an appearance doesn’t it SC and perhaps it is a subconscious act on our behalf, but it is not conscious.
What a consolation …
Speaking of psychic, connection and “saw your image”:
Does anyone have an idea about why I might have well … seen my ex-narc like standing right in front of me while being far, far away? Sensing him and his thoughts?
Did traumatization more like … cause psychotic side effects like hallucinations … was it my imagination, his picture literally imprinted in my mind because of the abuse … ? Might there have been a REAL connection (but how would that be possible given that he has no soul, feelings, etc.) … ?
And a very far-fetched thought but then again maybe not as there actually are devices now which can connect thoughts to computers:
could severe trauma change neurotransmitters in a way that someone might become telepathic? It is my understanding that telekinesis can be triggered by abuse, that has something to do with serotonin.
??
Did anyone experience something like this?
You do, of course, realize how sick minded this is. Right?
Did you get some kind of deal with Dionne warwick at psychic network?
Hahaha..How’s about I saw you in the toilet bowl..but decided to flush..😍
I have dreamt about HG Tudor. I was making tacos, and he was telling me how to make them better, and I was happy for his help!
I dream about HG all the time ❤️
Oh, I am quite sure you do. I feel certain that you eat, sleep, and breathe him, PTSD. By all of your comments, it does seem that you even worship him.
You can “up” my comments anytime, PTSD, so that you might display your loyalty and worship of him. I do not worship him like you do. I respect and admire him for helping us, and guiding us, but he is not my husband; therefore I do not bow down to him.
WP, i am not trying to ‘up’ your comment. I’m sorry if it appeared that way. I do feel great admiration towards HG for helping us, and a slight attachment too. However, it was a joke that i dream about him, and HG is witty enough to know that. I’ve never actually dreamt about him.
HG said he doesn’t acquire much fuel here since we are remote strangers. So i try to give him more fuel by admiration, appreciation, grand gestures of praise and love etc. He does so much for us. He answers all questions here free of charge, spends a large amount of time and energy towards us, and i assume he doesn’t gain much monetarily either (his books are quite inexpensive). The least i can do is try to increase the fuel level since much of his time is spent here. I apologize if i have upset you.
I just feel anger toward, M. Tudor, and do not know why he gets this stardom and worship when he blatantly says he hurts people on purpose. Yes, I know he helps and guides us, but whenever I read the bad things he writes about Narcs, I take it that he is writing from his own experience of what he does. He hurts people, and finds it amusing. He feels that he is better than anybody and everyone else. He is the epitome of darkness. And yet, people are acting like they are dying to be in his affections…no pun intended. I have been there, too, in regard to wanting to be in his affections until the sense was knocked back into me. I am thankful that I saw thru his darkness. And still, I will never know of its most horrible depths- thank The Lord <3 <3 <3
WP, when i first joined this blog approximately 5 months ago, i too was filled with anger, hurt, sadness, confusion. As i read daily, i have come to better understand narcs, their abandoning of their own soul due to unbearable childhood trauma, and their subsequent battle with the world. After reading about HG’s childhood abuse by his mother and his aunt, my heart went out to him. HG abuses people in his life, which i do not approve of, but thankfully he does not abuse children. If he were to do that, i would not be here. He chooses not to have children of his own. He did not make a girlfriend pregnant and run off, not paying child support etc. He also doesn’t utilize physical violence which the lesser narcs utilize. He practises self-restraint as much as he can, considering he’s a narc. He is also progressing in becoming more self-aware.
That being said, when i am extremely alarmed by his behavior, i do ask him about it. I called him a ‘sick bastard’ once as well. Remember dear G?
PTSD, but he won’t let us help him. Maybe we cannot do so, but part of me thinks we CAN help him, and he won’t let us!!! This makes me so MAD!!! I want to help him!!!!!!!!! He won’t even let me!!!!!!
WP, by sharing our experience, we are helping him, although i admit he helps us more. He learns how the empath, co-dependent, borderline etc. react to certain situations. He ties that knowledge with his behavior and writes relevant articles for us. If you want to help him even more, maybe you can consider challenging him as clarece does. I am not so bold to go that route. But it seems he welcomes a good challenge! It really gets him thinking about his childhood etc.
See, I already think I know who M. Tudor is according to certain things. I think he is the x-Narc from the U.K. whom I dated. Same voice; same accent; ETC., ETC., I don’t really care. But, I’ve been thinking about it and have come to this conclusion. BTW, M. Tudor, it was very cunning how you got my “best friend’s” husband to become one of your “Flying Monkeys” or Lieutenants, if you will. Clever, really. She was a mutual friend of the both of us, but dropped you like a “hot potato” when she saw your Narcissist characteristics. That infuriated you; thus you made her husband into your lieutenant and false words went from him, to her, and she was brainwashed into believing those lies that you constructed, using her newlywed husband as a mediator and his Narc Facebook Hate Group. You, my Dark Narc, are The Lie. If you are not him, M. Tudor, than I do apologize, but you sound just like him with British accent, and changes of personalities on me in our correspondence- just like him.
I accept your apology because I am not him. I do not know you.
https://youtu.be/hHRNSeuvzlM
I don’t doubt it. I wonder what he looks like in your dreams? Do you call him by HG, or Mr. Tudor? Are you his One and Only in your dreams, or are you crying because he is enjoying the ‘hospitality’ of other women? Or, perhaps, you are included in this ‘hospitality orgy’? Or, are you simply running thru the fields of wild flowers holding hands? Or, is he abusing you because it is the Devaluation period? Lucky you! Are you sure you have many dreams about HG Tudor, or would they more likely be called NIGHTMARES???
What’s going on WP? Why the hostility? You doing ok?
Nothing. Sorry. It’s fine. I apologize. Sorry, PTSD and everybody.
No worries WP. Just checking on you to make sure everything is good 🌺
Thx Love💗
Now you had me laughing tears …. ‘the picture fell off the wall, your face in the froth’ …. other points had me silently screaming ‘there’s even more that was done with such purpose?!’. *grr*
But HG when I asked you about telepathy it was me, not him …. though his answers certainly were lies.
When’s your birthday, I would like to give you a shiny new white hoover …?
Who teaches you this garbage???!!! You all do exactly the same thing HG! This is beyond demonic. Are you all born knowing this crap? Why all the same? It makes no sense that ALL of you play the EXACT SAME GAMES using even the SAME WORDS!!! I am reeling at this mind boggling fact! It is wholly diabolical. The entire narcissistic mindset is straight from hell…and cowardly!!! Why not attack someone with the tools and weapons to fight you? Instead, you take full advantage of the kind, loving and trusting. Like kicking a puppy! Shame on you!
Yea, you tell em, bro! There is a special place in hell for these people. And if I end up in hell, I will prepare it for them. I swear you throw these narcissists into a side cell and come back two hours later. They would have socks on their hands as puppets so they have someone to lie to. I was destroyed by one these perfect image females. However, I rose from the destruction, guess she didn’t do that great of a job in her devaluation and discard phase. I give props to the writer for educating decent people about their evil tactics. We can outsmart them because they really are nothing but a mirror. I have mirrors in all my bathrooms. Oh I left my proverbial door open for my ex narcissist to hoover. I did it on purpose, so I can shut her down with a touch of novel heartfelt verbal kiss off. I think of it as removing the “fuel” nozzle before the drop of fuel. Sad, sick clowns. Must be hell for narcissists to be fake people pretending to be real people with feelings that they don’t have. I will use my “fuel” for my muscle car…