The Narcissistic Truths – No 137
17 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No 137”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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My ex begged me back in September 2017 and he was already having an affair with a girl 27 years younger than him who was married to his friends son. I caught him at the bar with her In Dec 2017. I broke up with him and the whole thing devastated me and my 16 year old son. Yes I freaked out when I caught him and yes he made me look crazy. He text my son after passing him going into a convenience store yesterday and my son wouldn’t acknowledge his hello.so my ex text hm saying f… you too!!!!!! who does that to their own child? This man has a very good job makeing over 100 grand a year. My son totally hates him now.
sorry September 2016 and December 2017
HG. Can I ask if it’s not to personal, do you have anyone in your life, IPPS or NIPSS, who knows what you are. I have a friend but he does not know that I know what he is. I feel a bit of a fraud. He’s a stunning, clever man (prone to silent treatments) but I’d like to remain part of his inner circle. He’s done many good things for me and I have always returned this with high praise, gifts and adulation. But now that I know, I don’t know how to proceed/act.
I realise fuel is key (that’s easy) but wouldn’t you want to know HG if a friend knew about your narcissism but didn’t threaten you with it. And please don’t say you would know!!!
Also, I have an Amazon voucher burning a hole in my pocket. Re your books and given my situation, can you give me a top five to get me started this weekend. Can’t wait to read them. Thanks for all your help
HG. Truly fascinating stuff. Xxx
This is so true. After a few years I just became numb and didn’t fight or question anything anymore. I lost my will to stand up for myself, it was too exhausting.
I don’t understand Mr. Tudor. How does our reaction conceal your behavior?
You erupt at what we do so we turn the discussion on to your over-reaction/hyper sensitivity/melodrama etc, thus our behaviour becomes obscured by focusing on your reaction to it.
HG,
Is it only when we react negative? I thought to obscure was naturally one of traits of a person with npd.
It is, but causing a negative reaction is the clearest way of causing this obscuring.
HG,
Thanks for responding. I don’t know why I still try to make sense of the things you guys do. I have to remember this is from a npd person perception.
At least you keep that point in mind.
Mine was a master at the crazy making and then innocently pointing out how crazy I was. No mention of the things he did with sadistic precision to MAKE me crazy in the first place.
No, I disagree. Narcs are obscurers.
Smoke and mirrors always came to mind.
That, and triangulating you with other women.
Yes, yes they do. Everyone sees my reactions, my craziness, my awfulness. He now becomes the victim in everyone’s eyes. All the good and beauty in me is now forgotten and unseen. He wins.
Not just everyone else. Within myself, too. I feel overly emotional, crazy, wrong. Whatever he did is forgotten or fuzzy – obscured – while my own behavior is magnified to look and feel that much worse. He seems like the victim to me as well, who is being so generous and kind hearted to give me another chance.
So you’re the victim then? Of the reaction.?