Alanis Morissette says in her meaningful song Ironic: “It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.”
Spoons are uninteresting, they are only used to eat soup.
But a knife…
I suppose that’s the price you have to pay.
Así es la vida.
Because I was addicted to his encyclopedical knowledge, his cooking, his humor, his smell ( Dior’s Fahrenheit), and his deep masculine voice (these male narcs and testosterone). And he had beautiful hair! But, above all, I would keep going back to him because he would say he loved me (delicious food for the codependent’s hungry soul) and because I always questioned my perceptions: yes, maybe I am being too sensitive here (I grew up hearing this after all), he is a geologist, he studied rocks; what does he know about human feelings? I need to explain to him that what he did is hurtful and everything will be fine. He is a brilliant man, he will get it and we will live happily ever after. Homeless unicorns will always be welcome in our house.
Because you told me he was nice, even though red flags said otherwise. Because you told me he was a real man though my gut said otherwise. Were you lying to me then, or are you lying to me now? In the end, it is my accountability. I will listen to me, thanks to you, HG.
Because trauma bonding and cognitive dissonance. Because I kept hoping against hope that this was the time he would truly change and appreciate the unconditional love I offered him. Because I was a fool. Because I so desperately wanted to believe I could reach the scared little boy that I saw when I was able to get past his walls for a few, precious fleeting moments. Then the walls went back up and the devaluation became more vicious. Because playing angel to his devil was what I felt I was put here to do…
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I’m learning better boundaries now
Alanis Morissette says in her meaningful song Ironic: “It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.”
Spoons are uninteresting, they are only used to eat soup.
But a knife…
I suppose that’s the price you have to pay.
Así es la vida.
“Life has a funny funny way, of helping you out.. helping you out.”
I read it differently. “Why do you keep making excuses about why you fail me?”
It was a choice
Yes
jenn
On Jan 21, 2017 7:11 PM, “Knowing the Narcissist” wrote:
> HG Tudor posted: “” >
And I had nobody asking me this question.
Because I was addicted to his encyclopedical knowledge, his cooking, his humor, his smell ( Dior’s Fahrenheit), and his deep masculine voice (these male narcs and testosterone). And he had beautiful hair! But, above all, I would keep going back to him because he would say he loved me (delicious food for the codependent’s hungry soul) and because I always questioned my perceptions: yes, maybe I am being too sensitive here (I grew up hearing this after all), he is a geologist, he studied rocks; what does he know about human feelings? I need to explain to him that what he did is hurtful and everything will be fine. He is a brilliant man, he will get it and we will live happily ever after. Homeless unicorns will always be welcome in our house.
Because you told me he was nice, even though red flags said otherwise. Because you told me he was a real man though my gut said otherwise. Were you lying to me then, or are you lying to me now? In the end, it is my accountability. I will listen to me, thanks to you, HG.
Because trauma bonding and cognitive dissonance. Because I kept hoping against hope that this was the time he would truly change and appreciate the unconditional love I offered him. Because I was a fool. Because I so desperately wanted to believe I could reach the scared little boy that I saw when I was able to get past his walls for a few, precious fleeting moments. Then the walls went back up and the devaluation became more vicious. Because playing angel to his devil was what I felt I was put here to do…
Because I loved that Asshole.
I make excuses because I feel like I should be able to make this work. ..I still love this evil demon. Despite everything. Hate it
Because he loves me. You taught me love is a battlefield. *Shout out to Pat Benatar*
She is great in concert!!!