The Narcissistic Truths – No. 144
39 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 144”
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In Lundy Bancrofts book about abusers, (which was the first time I even realized my ex was abusive) narcrs are call water torturers! and yes they are, its like being water boarded!
Well STL, President Trump regards water boarding as an effective method, so there’s two birds killed with one stone.
One question that puzzles me is there are so many disorders regarding mental health e.g. Bipolar autism etc , why is this disorder and it is a malfunction of the brain and proven that for what ever reason emotional development seems to be lacking ? Why professionals show no mercy or support knowing what they know it does cause many problems for the narcissist depression being one loneliness another and knowing they are outside of the box so to speak ? I would be interested to hear your comments regarding this .
Hello Tina, I think such a view is very much formed on anecdotal evidence. I know that many professionals have a poor understanding of our kind. Others may “write if off” owing to the negligible opportunity for change or improvement. There are others (and I have seen them write as such on this blog) who do exhibit their empathic nature by expressing concern and sympathy for those who suffer NPD. There are also others who are prejudiced by their own treatment at the hands of our kind which understandably colours their approach. I know some show little sympathy because of it being a disorder rather than an actual mental health issue such as say schizophrenia or depression. Over time one finds a breadth and depth of views about our kind.
I have similar thoughts i dont think the “professionals” know that much about narcissism they are manipulated by them as well. I also from experience don’t believe the professionals know much about anything just like MD’s don’t. Bipolar and schizophrenia is a diet imbalance (minerals) this has been proven but will never be acknowledge by the medical industry. Most all of the mental health issues can be turned around by diet, but they do not know this their job is to prescribe drugs. There are no TESTS that they perform to determine if someone is bipolar I know this because my ex narc was put on psycho. drugs 5 of them to be exact for no reason no test nothing. Alot of therapists make people worse instead of better, same with marriage counselors. Honestly the only real disorder is personality disorders and narcissism being one of the worst in my opinion. I have always been really good at psychology and figuring people out but it took me 15yrs to figure this one out! Only because I thought of a narcissist as someone who has enflamed ego always had to be center of attention type of person which is the main way it is described. I use to always say that my ex narc would and should be a psychologists test case, cause i have never seen anything like it and you cant even explain it to people they think you are the crazy one and that i was just a bitch. No one ever sees the real person I know and see!
I agree I thought I was going mad and the more I tried to explain his behaviours to people the more it was suggested I was the one with the problem . I gave up trying and read up book after book untill my brain could except it was not me … it was a frightening experience to go through but a learning curve ..
May I have the email address I can write to you regards
Narcissist1909@gmail.com
HG your comments would be welcome on my last I sent ?
Hello Tina, would you perhaps re-post the content to save me the job of searching for it?
Can I email you on your email address?
If you wish Christine, I appreciate the courtesy of asking.
H.G. since you have so much pain from your childhood and your mother then why do you want to be like her and cause pain to other? Do you like to cause people pain? Do you get off on it? Well besides the fuel you get do you not even care if you cause people that pain? Do you ever feel pain? Is it possible for them to hurt you?
I am not like her STL, I am superior to her. The causing of pain is just a conduit to the obtaining of fuel. No, I do not care about the application of pain – it is a means to an end, like sex, proclaiming to be interested in watching U2, like knowing about certain pieces of literature and so forth.
Do I feel pain? Cut me and I feel the pain of injury but it pales to the internal injury of being wounded from being criticised extensively.
I do struggle with your explanation, as we all cope differently when we have been hurt .some just walk away and it bounces off them ! Me I lash out with words not fists not tears but I know so cutting and demeaning… do you think through how and when you wish to inflict pain or punishment to those who wrong you ?
Sometimes. Sometimes it just happens.
Your answer is correct I have gained the knowledge and I am free of emotional attachment and I feel there are gains on both sides but always with caution , I have heard your conversations re Christine and it was like hearing my ex ! Your laugh amazing , the only trait he does not have is few relationship? And low sex drive ..one relationship lasted 24 yrs but I age has increased his disorder , again a very intelligent person excellent writer and when is happy is wonderful company . I don’t feel sorry for him but compassion as he says he wishes he was normal . I am to strong for him and have my own demons to deal with . His big fear is retiring and being on his own as he needs to be looked after or it’s a women’s place to look after him .. so he says ! Workaholic is needy for the company he runs and politics are more important than me lol
Resending for you
I’m obliged.
Is it possible to have a friendship with my ex partner who has all the traits you talk about ?
You can always engage with our kind so long as you understand what you are engaging with and how it will impact on you. It will not be a friendship in his eyes though, it is an entitlement. Some people need to go no contact and stay away. Some people cannot do that because of children etc and therefore have to minimise contact and fuel provision. Others, if strong enough, aware enough and free of the “infection” which caused them to be ensnared in the first place, can interact with us (some do to serve their own ends) but one must always exercise caution in continuing to interact with us.
“But one must always exercise caution in continuing to interact with us.” Why do you say that? Would you not have more respect for a woman who could hold her own with you? Everyone respects a worthy opponent. Keeps you on your toes. Not an inspector clouseau and Kato but more Batman Joker type respect for each other. It can be very gratifying to be challenged. Or you just happy with the tears screaming thing and not the actual strategy? Just wondering. 💙
I agree with HG. I am a volunteer for one of my N friend as she is very dear to me… It is one way friendship and it is my choice. ..
And you are still walking around in your lovely cloth….Or did you think, I thought, you were one of the frauds.?
Excuse me, that I am a little bit aggressive. But I met someone like you today and I had to deal with it. So, I am sorry to say that I project my anger about him to you. That is not nice, I know.
Your stance is understandable Mona. I am used to it, but I appreciate the courtesy of an explanation.
Your parents taught you the wrong as right and the right as wrong. No wonder, that there is no orientation.
And in my opinion, you are a fuel junky. You are addicted to fuel. And that is weak, not strong, although you believe that it is the opposite. But deep down inside there is a innocent child…. who knows the truth….
I am sorry to tell you that. Do you know the fairy tale : “The emperors New clothes.”? You should read it.
I know that story.
It’s the contrast you desire i believe.
Don`t you see how contradictory that is? It pulls a human being into two parts. It is making crazy. Yourself, me and others. And furthermore (the last meme) your holy mother, who tells you, that you will be in heaven, if you believe her. Why do you still believe her? Why do you do that? She lost a lot of her power. She is old now. And you know her. Manipulate her, but not others.
She has lost much of her power over me but not over others. she wields considerable power over other people.
Hi HG,
What are your feelings towards MatriNarc knowing that she still has that much power over others?
Hate?
Resentment?
Happy that your aren’t under her spell?
Hello Snow White, it suits my purposes to be free of her spell (although I know some will argue I am not) but what she does with others is of no concern to me, unless it interferes in my works.
Pot-Kettle
Rubber -Glue
You’ll never make me heel to you.
Deal with it.
(Sticking my tongue out at you).
I recently read that when a narcissist cannot “fake” understand the emotion during a conversation, they will dismiss it by relabelling and spinning the supply’s dialogue so it comes back to their wounded-ness. This allowing a trap door for themselves. Your thoughts?
I agree.
Sounds interesting Clarece, do you have any examples?
It did not give examples the way HG does with using actual quotes of a remark and the hidden meaning behind it.
More or less it is that a Narcissist will manipulate a conversation into reactions from us. In this type of instance putting us on the defensive so as we try to have our voice heard it gets distorted to how it is an affront to them rather than us. The harder we try to communicate our emotion and what it is happening to us, the words get spun back at us so they can be dismissive.
For instance, it made me reflect back with my husband (realizing he was way more narcissistic than I had imagined) that whenever something got to the point it annoyed me and I would confront him, no matter what, the conversation would end up how he felt he could never make me happy and I’m hard to please. Somehow I would have to comfort him and the issue at hand would usually go on business as usual.
Ah I see. That’s really helpful Clarece. Thank you for explaining xx
Grateful for all the posts, appreciate you HG.
Have you blogged on magical thinking?
Due to perverted priests and violent nuns, my exposure to religion kept at national curriculum level. However, subscriptions to new agey concepts entertained until accepting the placebo effect.
Lack of due dilligence a regret. Eckhart Tolle remains a ‘teacher’, I like his humour.
Watching Trumps inauguration, i wondered what declaration on the bible meant. That swearing on it guarantees his presidency will be wholesome and christian? Does that work with narcissists? If you were asked to place hand on bible swearing not to hunt fuel, would you do it, for a leadership role?
I enjoy articles and documenntaries about blind faith/escaping religious cults. Scientology squirrels are hilarious. The human desire for belonging makes people do the strangest things.
These groups are breeding grounds for the narcissist, rich pickings.