If it wasn’t for your doctor advice to write down what’ s on your mind, have you ever felt the need to confess, to tell your sources who you really are, your darkest thoughts without being judged? I am asking you this because my ex narc used to tell me things about him, things that i couldn’t believe someone could do…i thought he was not really serious but in time i learned he was. Sometimes i could listen and not judge him…sometimes they were so painfull that made me so sad that we ended up fighting and as a result i was punished with silent treatment and discarded 🙂 was it a way to discard me buy “giving” me too much or he really needed to be accepted as he was?
It is a person’s second greatest urge to confess and there have been occasions when I have wanted to tell my appliances what I am, just to gauge their reaction. It is not done out of any need to receive understanding, forgiveness or salvation.
Of course, I sometimes engage in the behaviour of giving them a slight morsel and watching what they do. For instance, I have come out with comments such as:-
“I do very bad things.”
“There is a darkness inside me.”
“I am often on the edge of frenzy.”
“I feel like I am not really here.”
“I am not like the others.”
I do not, nor would I engage in a long confession about what I am or what I do. That would be handing too much control to the other person.
I suspect in your instance he was telling you because he wanted to gain your fuel from the reaction and he found containing what he was too much at times (probably since fuel levels were dipping). It wasn’t to engineer a discard.
In my early 20’s, I dated the most handsome, charming man ever. He was literally a dream come true.
He said one similarly phrased sentence to me about himself that made me cut off contact immediately & permanently. (And I knew nothing about Narcissism way back then.)
Has anything like that ever happened to you?
~Hope
Thank you very much for your reply. I guess then he discarded me because I left his house in the middle of the night without even saying good bye and he could’t get his fuel from me. He told me the next morning he was very upset and will not speak to me for an unknown period of time…i didn’t reply anything and haven’t tried to contact him since (9 days ago). Even if when reading your posts he fits 99% the profile, I still have doubts…I have changed during last 5 years since I met him…I feel I lost my empathy, and many times I found myself trying to manipulate him, trying to apply same treatment in some situations.I tried to be with him even if I found about 6 months ago what he really is. It was mostly a challange for me lately, but unfortunately I have to admit I am not good enough to handle him. No matter how much I can resist to his “innocent” evil attitude, he pushes till he wins 🙂 The worst part now is that I lost myself in the process and I can’t help thinking that this narc thing might be contagious. 🙂 I am affraid I might find normal people boring, though he was too much. If only he could have learned my boundries, but he didn’t care, I guess 🙂
I am not like other men. Not even close.
I cant help what I am
I will end up hurting you
There are things you dont know about me. Bad things.
You are the girl of my dreams but I will give you nightmares.
I understood them for what they are. Glimpses and warnings.
Yes. Very critical. But God help anyone who throws any criticism your way, constructive or otherwise.
I tried to have a difference of opinion with my sister the other day and for my trouble I was criticised and berated. I was accused of lacking compassion and being unsupportive (but I have to take that criticism even though anyone who knows me would say otherwise).
My opinion differed to hers in relation to our brother, whom she apparently had an argument with over the phone. I was supposed to give her ‘compassion and support’ for a conversation I was not privy to and since I didn’t, I was accused of being an unsupportive sister, lacking compassion and THAT is why she “can’t possibly have a relationship with me”, and “everyone knows she’s really tried”. Btw… the phone conversation took place 5 weeks ago and she hasn’t discussed it with our brother, but chooses to use it against me for no other reason than to start an argument. She’s not only hurtful she is draining. Four days later and I am still trying to reenergise.
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Living what you learned. Can only mirror what you know.
Is Twitter a good platform to FIGHT all those critical charlatans out there? 😁
Should every tweet be interpreted as a response to a criticism?
I was asking from the POV of a narc.
HG (Hurt Geyser),
Every single one of you practices this and brings a world of hurt with it. Let me guess, there is something wrong with my comment?
Very good. Of course this meme can be read two ways.
Ha. I get it!
I was confused because I can’t imagine the narc ever admitting that he is critical (as in criticizing/harsh).
Are you saying you are critical as in “of vital importance/irreplaceable”?
Correct.
If it wasn’t for your doctor advice to write down what’ s on your mind, have you ever felt the need to confess, to tell your sources who you really are, your darkest thoughts without being judged? I am asking you this because my ex narc used to tell me things about him, things that i couldn’t believe someone could do…i thought he was not really serious but in time i learned he was. Sometimes i could listen and not judge him…sometimes they were so painfull that made me so sad that we ended up fighting and as a result i was punished with silent treatment and discarded 🙂 was it a way to discard me buy “giving” me too much or he really needed to be accepted as he was?
It is a person’s second greatest urge to confess and there have been occasions when I have wanted to tell my appliances what I am, just to gauge their reaction. It is not done out of any need to receive understanding, forgiveness or salvation.
Of course, I sometimes engage in the behaviour of giving them a slight morsel and watching what they do. For instance, I have come out with comments such as:-
“I do very bad things.”
“There is a darkness inside me.”
“I am often on the edge of frenzy.”
“I feel like I am not really here.”
“I am not like the others.”
I do not, nor would I engage in a long confession about what I am or what I do. That would be handing too much control to the other person.
I suspect in your instance he was telling you because he wanted to gain your fuel from the reaction and he found containing what he was too much at times (probably since fuel levels were dipping). It wasn’t to engineer a discard.
In my early 20’s, I dated the most handsome, charming man ever. He was literally a dream come true.
He said one similarly phrased sentence to me about himself that made me cut off contact immediately & permanently. (And I knew nothing about Narcissism way back then.)
Has anything like that ever happened to you?
~Hope
No Hope that has not happened.
Thank you very much for your reply. I guess then he discarded me because I left his house in the middle of the night without even saying good bye and he could’t get his fuel from me. He told me the next morning he was very upset and will not speak to me for an unknown period of time…i didn’t reply anything and haven’t tried to contact him since (9 days ago). Even if when reading your posts he fits 99% the profile, I still have doubts…I have changed during last 5 years since I met him…I feel I lost my empathy, and many times I found myself trying to manipulate him, trying to apply same treatment in some situations.I tried to be with him even if I found about 6 months ago what he really is. It was mostly a challange for me lately, but unfortunately I have to admit I am not good enough to handle him. No matter how much I can resist to his “innocent” evil attitude, he pushes till he wins 🙂 The worst part now is that I lost myself in the process and I can’t help thinking that this narc thing might be contagious. 🙂 I am affraid I might find normal people boring, though he was too much. If only he could have learned my boundries, but he didn’t care, I guess 🙂
Have you dropped any of those morsels (comments) to Kim? If so, how has she reacted?
I have heard lots of these tidbits.
I am not like other men. Not even close.
I cant help what I am
I will end up hurting you
There are things you dont know about me. Bad things.
You are the girl of my dreams but I will give you nightmares.
I understood them for what they are. Glimpses and warnings.
The arrows are going the wrong way.And you forgot “of you”
Yes – projecting your own self-criticisms into others.
Yes. Very critical. But God help anyone who throws any criticism your way, constructive or otherwise.
I tried to have a difference of opinion with my sister the other day and for my trouble I was criticised and berated. I was accused of lacking compassion and being unsupportive (but I have to take that criticism even though anyone who knows me would say otherwise).
My opinion differed to hers in relation to our brother, whom she apparently had an argument with over the phone. I was supposed to give her ‘compassion and support’ for a conversation I was not privy to and since I didn’t, I was accused of being an unsupportive sister, lacking compassion and THAT is why she “can’t possibly have a relationship with me”, and “everyone knows she’s really tried”. Btw… the phone conversation took place 5 weeks ago and she hasn’t discussed it with our brother, but chooses to use it against me for no other reason than to start an argument. She’s not only hurtful she is draining. Four days later and I am still trying to reenergise.