Darkness
Do you feel the darkness as it coils about you? Do you see those midnight black tendrils as they slither towards you? Do you recognise that encroaching cloak of nothingness as it begins to wrap around you? Do you see how the inky murk blots out parts of your life as your friends become obscured by the gathering darkness? Have you any idea what is waiting for you in the shade as the pools of despair begin to form at your feet? Can you feel the icy embrace as the levels of gloom start to rise, swallowing you up bit by bit? Are you aware of the advancing chasm as it swallows up your family, wrenching them away from you consigning them to oblivion? The engulfing darkness causes them to vanish and even their desperate cries and shouts become muffled and then extinguished. Do you remember what held your interest before this fog arrived? Can you recall those hobbies and past times that entertained you and gave you a sense of who you were as you enjoyed engaging in them and with other people? Can you or is the fog too thick so that you doubt if you ever did undertake them at all? Have you noticed how the air has become thicker and cloyed with poison or do you breathe it in oblivious to the toxicity that comes with it? Are you aware how the twilight has percolated into your ears so that everything you hear has become twisted and distorted? Do you recognise what is patently before you or do the shadowy shapes and figures make little sense when they once did? Have you realised that your words have become dust in your mouth as the fur of the darkness fills your mouth and slides down your throat, strangling the sounds you try to make? Do you feel the icy embrace of this impenetrable wall of darkness which advances to you and over you? Do you recognise this glacier of despair as it slides over you, subsuming you and sucking you deep inside, preserving you in a dark, icy tomb? Do you even see your reflection in the mirror anymore or has that become masked in darkness too, the glass dulled so that everything becomes obscured and shows something else entirely? Do you see those shades which come and torment you, their sinewy fingers pulling at you as they strip you piece by piece of what you are? Do you observe these wraiths as they devour you, sucking what you are into their dark maws? How does it feel as this corrupting night brings permanent darkness to your world? Do you see how nothing grows anymore when touched by the gloomy taint? Do you smell that foul stench which accompanies this unending blanket of murk? The acrid fumes which waft into your nostrils and eradicate anything sweet and pleasant. Do you notice how your tongue lies flat and useless in your mouth, little more than a cold slab? Do you even acknowledge how everything tastes like ash? Do you feel the leaden weight of this darkness pulling at you, slowing you and seeking to engulf you? Do you recognise how it prevents you from breaking free, this glue-like morass which has fastened on to you and will not yield? Do you notice the fatigue that now wraps around you, leeching at your energy and vitality? Do you hear anything other than the whispers of malevolent control that rattle about your beleaguered brain? Do you know who you are or has this vast amorphous darkness eradicated your sense of being? Do you remember what it was to feel uplifted, joyous and happy or have you become accustomed to the flat, perilous embrace of this total darkness? Do you even feel anything anymore other or has the cosseting black cloud anaesthetised you, numbing and freezing? Do you feel the darkness? No, you never do. You never see the darkness until you have seen the light.
35 thoughts on “Darkness”
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This took my breath away as I read it. It was almost a panic attack. One year out of the horror. Your writing is brilliant.
Thank you Never Again.
Lol HG next time I leave out a part of a comment It will stay as is left out.
If it could even be achieved
All hypothetical
why would one of your kind try and change an empath to become more like your kind? I would imagine thou this persons mind would be extremely twisted due to the manipulations done to achieve this thou
From the experiences I have had, this seems sometimes almost to be unconscious. It is not always deliberate. It is kind of like vampires in a way. Spreading. Emotional vampires. Trauma is the ultimate killer. Terrible indeed. I also noticed when you do become enlightened or illuminated, when you learn to master your emotions you can enjoy life again. In fact, it is an amazing feeling being able to control your emotions. Think of it a bit like the Vulcans in Star Trek. It is possible through enlightenment to become a stronger person. Empathy stays forever. It never leaves. That is such a beautiful thing.
“Can you recall those hobbies and past times that entertained you and gave you a sense of who you were as you enjoyed engaging in them and with other people? Do you even acknowledge how everything tastes like ash? Do you feel the leaden weight of this darkness pulling at you, slowing you and seeking to engulf you? Do you recognise how it prevents you from breaking free, this glue-like morass which has fastened on to you and will not yield? Do you notice the fatigue that now wraps around you, leeching at your energy and vitality?Do you remember what it was to feel uplifted, joyous and happy or have you become accustomed to the flat, perilous embrace of this total darkness? Do you even feel anything anymore other or has the cosseting black cloud anaesthetised you, numbing and freezing?”
Yes the darkness descended on me when I was discarded, everything does taste like ash, I am tired and numb. The hobbies and pass times you mention are a distant memory at the moment – I am not functioning.
So my question HG, you write very well, stabbing straight to the heart. You capture a lot of what it is like for us when we have been so used by your kind. What you have put down in writing here – have you ever felt it? Or is this what your victims have told you? Or is this how you imagine it to be or might I say hope it is for us?
It is drawn from what my victims have said to me and then applying the slops of my delinquent mind to add the imagination. I have a rampant imagination.
Yes you have a very vivid and rampant imagination HG. You would be perfect at writing horror stories. Oh hang on you already written them on here!
HG we all have darkness and light in us, why do people believe you either are all one or the other?
Light can be brought by one who holds darkness in their hands just as one who holds light can bring darkness.
This is what enveloped me as a child. Excellent writing as always HG.
Thank you ABB.
You are most welcome.
Good lord Tudor. You DO tend to go on a bit. But yes. EVIL IS SEDUCTIVE.
Your motto is: “Fair is foul and foul is fair.” Sometimes it seems, as if you are a little bit Macbeth. And Hecate seems to be your mother. (I mixed it all a little bit.)
To complete :sometimes, you are one of the witches and sometimes Macbeth.
As long as I am not Banquo.
Oh yes indeed. I see it. Darkness.
It shows itself as the contrast to light. All those that see it have a choice.
It isn’t necessarily easy to make. However..
My choice is to turn away.
I prefer goodness, decency, loyalty and good manners.
Authenticity.
At the end of the day – fake just doesn’t cut it.
“I’m out.”
I imagine thats a pretty good description of a visit with your Mother.
Yes. Thank you, very well said and beautifully described. I thought I was the only one, and nobody seemed to understand, which was the hardest. The part that amazes me most is that I felt the happier the more I was engulfed. Only looking back and realizing what I had done and how much of my energy and time and attention I had been diverting in this one direction, I felt horrified. I do not hold it against him, really – I do believe it takes two to tango, always. But i was not angry because of what he did. I was furious because he made me love it so much.
It was in the darkness I made the choice to love unconditionally
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQveDjot__g&w=560&h=315%5D
Jon Stevens- arrived in Double Bay from New Zealand and hung out at the Sheaf Hotel. He never believed that he would be a superstar. In fact he played Judas (leather-clad in Jesus Christ Superstar). This song is dedicated to his mother Millie. Time goes on, next clip he had heart surgery, turned grey basically overnight. The next clip was a Sirromet Wines at MT Cotton in my region. See how time interferes.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0yHcCvgG6M&w=560&h=315%5D
Hi HG. Two questions:
1) Can the void you feel inside be some kind of depression?
2) Are you planning to take revenge on your aunt too?
Thanks!
1. No.
2. Yes.
HG
I know its something to be savoured so I understand going solo, but if theres anything I can do to help with number 2……
Actually I have wondered about these Lieutenants and then thought those positions must be best filled with people like me who are between the two worlds and prefer to be out of the spotlight and assist with power behind the throne Of course the benefits to me would have to be explained. Apart from your company of course.
I am sorry, I forgot, it was only Henry, the Great.
Henry, the Greatest, you have seen the light so many times.You ignored it. I am bored of your annoying and constant repetitions of your bad childhood and your malice. I get numb and indifferent, although you are a very good writer. I must respect that.
And to add: When I was a child, I was different to others. I liked the darkness of the wood. I very often went into the wood in the evening , because I felt free there. I liked all the sounds of the wood. I was not afraid. I am special too, or not? I mention it, just to say, I exist. The dark tetrade – you will admire it until the end of your life. Yes, I agree, it would be a blessing, if you do not exist. But you do.
When giants are stilled with nostrils flaring and afraid of their own shadows and draw close to you, make sure you do it from the heart and they will draw close and give you more fuel than you could ever hope to manipulate. Your voice holds more power than that of manipulation. Settle the beast HG, it cannot run your life. Surrender and you will find a new world will open up and give you more than any fuel you could have imagined. Trust in your spirit and let it lead you. 🙂
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91MuR2wYtzA&w=560&h=315%5D
Time to stop running HG 🙂 They say tramps like us are born to run, time to stop running.
Great writing once again. Brought me back to the tears now long dried. Living in the light again I had forgotten how dark it was once was and how gradually it had enveloped me. A reminder of the truth as I still struggle momentarily from time to time and all feeling fades to humanize him. Every time I reach the moment of completely forgetting the ghost appears using others as his device. It feels as if you have become my secret weapon to move on and win this war.
Now I’m out of it and can look back, I can see how completely nuts you are. The need to mean something to someone else is so overwhelming it can only point to your own sense of nothingness. And no matter how much control you have over other people, you will die and become nothing to nobody. You never existed.
Yes, Madonna – this even includes you.
If we had as many people backing us as HG has for his survival out of the chains he says we are in, we would be really grateful, huh? Kind of sad. How can someone believe in themselves so little that they are afraid of their own person? Shame that primary caregivers do this to their children and outside of that influence they repeat their primary caregivers mistakes and carry it to the grave. HG- you have some very beautiful talents. HG you have some very eloquent language and dialogue. HG you have some very deep and emotional, sensitive roots there. Such a shame that you are the only one chaining yourself. Sad for you. 🙁 Only if you could harness all that you have inside and slaughter the rot, giving way to new growth and beautiful succulent growth, you could be absolutely amazing! You are funny, you are a darling in as many ways as you let the darkness forbid you from going toward the light You are your own worse enemy. If I had the thoughts that overcome your beautiful spirit I would fight like F*ck to burn it out. I would rather burn that beast, than have it emerge in me to give those reckless people anymore of me than they stole against my will. How can you lead the broken HG when you are the most broken that we see?????????? 🙂 🙂 🙂 You see HG, we see you more than you see yourself and the true triumph would be to see you fight like we have and soar above that beast. You want to be an inspiration we cannot accept double standards. Do it first for yourself then you can glow like a glow-worm giving light to a cave. Rescue yourself first then it gets easier. No harm intended, like the Nike advertisement- DO IT! JUST DO IT!
What is confusing is the need to belong and mean something? Yet when they have it they destroy what they desperately seek . Control is a must yet can’t control the feelings of destruction in the devaluation Stage. It appears to physically wear both persons in this process mentally too ?
This is not my darkness.
I always knew there was something wrong. Something just didn’t feel right. Some things just didn’t add up. Some things just didn’t make sense. There was only confusion about even the simplest of things. No clarity.