That was just a flicker of flame inside of me until the Greater Narc entered into my soul and my life. Immediately upon him gazing into my eyes and telling me how I made his flame burn so much brighter, I, for the first time in my life, was feeling what he felt, as well. I felt the burning flame he described to me and it was all consuming with love like I had never known before. I realize now it was all a facade, but the fire I felt burning inside was real to me and I’m now learning (with the help of this blog and most all of the commentators) how to keep that all consuming fire burning inside of me … for me. I want to feel the love I felt for him, for myself, and the more I learn how to do that, the more I realize just how amazing I really am. If there’s one thing the ex-MN mirrored for me that I’ll be forever grateful for, it’s showing me just how powerful my fire really is.
I see a Fireball, encased on the inside and glowing with traits that will let you shine with her beside you. She’s hardwired to be deeply trusting and deeply attach. Flutter those wings faster and harder little moth to the flame.
Yes. Our light. The fact that you know you cannot heal but you know we can. You know you can’t heal, you know we have something you will never, ever have. Can never feel, can never be. That when our light walks away, you are left with only your darkness.
And it is as you have said, our search for truth, fairness and justice are all the things that made us targets and are what allow us to heal. Your kind are forever trapped because you have no alternative to your way of life because you are actually limited by your own organic abilities and lack of awareness. MRI scans of psychopaths shows very different brain activity than that of a non psychopath. When the neural pathways are damaged when you are young, your brains literally stop growing in areas. We, the empaths, are like the monks who can go deep inside and heal ourselves at the cellular level. Have you ever had an MRI brain scan done on you?
We may be ignorant of who we are, so we are hurt over and over, and some never escape, never have had a choice, like many narcs never have a choice, but those of us who do figure it out, we do have a choice now. We escape. You know who you are, your self-awareness takes you miles ahead of all the other narcs, but you still can’t escape. I think you know that.
You want to know the irony? As I have healed his poison, over and over and over, I am actually growing younger. People comment on it. My light is actually shinning brighter than ever and the more I am helped by your blog and other things I read, by my own relentless efforts to heal, I am actually reversing my aging. I had his poison in me my whole life. I thought it was his light. I had it wrong. I had his poison and now, as i neutralize it all, I shine.
Sarabella, it’s interesting that you say people are commenting on you growing younger and that your light is shining brighter. I’ve had that same experience in the last 2 weeks. I’ve had 3 different people tell me there’s a brightness to me that’s brighter than before; and the best part is, I feel it too. I loved what you had to say, very well put 🙂
I view that little ball of light and warmth as being the best of what she has to give. It is full of all the things that make her who she is. She offers it to someone like HG or to me hoping we will marvel at its fragility and beauty – hoping we will take care of it, nurture the flame, guard its contents and keep it safe.
Little does she know, when she offers it up, that we love to destroy pretty things. And the sound of broken glass is like music to our ears.
She cannot just “get a new one and be fine again.” Ask anyone who has been entangled with our kind and they will confirm that for you.
Some of us never might never be fine, this is true. Some end up dead or the walking dead.
But some of us will be and are fine. Some of us SHINE even brighter than before because some of us are actually stronger and tougher than many narcs. True story. Some narc might be able to inflict remorseless damage, but some of us get that the light we did offer up, because you all so pathetically begged for it (looking back, he was rather pathetic, he was a lower/mid), can be re fanned and if we are self-healing, we learn to take it to the people who will appreciate its bright light and warmth.
HG only references how to enrage your kind, in its simplest form, showing themselves to be happy. Past the saga. What I haven’t seen him write about is that for some, it might initially be faked, some understand to never let a narc see how they were hurt, but some actually DO become happy. Extremely happy. Extremely fine.
That may very well be. But for now I trust that she won’t. Her and I sparred initially which led to the revelation that her and I co-existing in our full-on true selves is much more interesting and fun than being against each other. I believe she sees the value in that too. I could be wrong, but I sensed she liked that she earned my respect for her brutal honesty (not that I want to be on the receiving end of some of it any time soon mind you). And I like that she recognized my good traits. I can hold my own.
BE, feel free to weigh in!
Appreciated! The real snake I need to worry about is the one who brought me here. After several Hoovers this past year, it’s been silent and NC for 3 weeks. I’m most pleased with that right now.
It is true that Clarece and I did not see eye to eye when I first came here. She has since grown on me and I on her, and I no issue admitting I do have respect for her because she is unique among the many people who frequent this blog.
She is well-spoken, honest and intelligent. She is also a firecracker and I enjoy that about her. We respect and admire each other in a way we both find pleasing and beneficial.
Clarece has been an ally to me in a few instances here on the blog and that is something I certainly welcome.
Clarece is far from stupid or naïve about our kind and what we are capable of. She has nothing to fear from me because I see no reason to unleash my malice on her.
Bloody is of great importance to this blog! She offers a whole entirely different way of looking certain aspects of narcissism ( being one herself, and female.) there has been many occasions that I wish I could of been more like her. Of course their are things we will disagree on. I found if you treat her with respect she will do the same to you. And of course she doesn’t need this blog to draw fuel from, as with HG it would supply her with very little! Thank you Bloody and welcome back!! 😘
That is nice of you to say Fool Me, and of course, I appreciate your comments.
However, the only reason I am able to participate and share in this manner is because HG is gracious enough to allow me to. I am grateful to/for him and the work he does here.
There is no other forum, online or elsewhere, like the one HG has created. Because of HG’s brilliant writing and willingness to be open with everyone here, this space is second to none.
I have no need to collect fuel here, that is true. I do appreciate the positive comments and interactions and the negative ones certainly keep me entertained, but mostly, I am here to read, discuss, debate and learn, just like everyone else.
I agree with you 100% Bloody! There is not another blog out there that can compare to this one! HG is an amazing writer and though at times the truth hurt it is the only way I would of been able to learn and not keep making the same mistakes! Thank you both for your honesty. Have a wonderful weekend. 🍻
It is a beautiful thing, the unified energy that can emote, when two completely opposites can align based on exchanges of complete honesty and knowing expectations with no hidden agendas.
Thanks for the warm and fuzzies you sent my way BE!!! I appreciate your sentiments very much!
Clarece, I have always admired you and BE from afar, since coming onto this blog in the Summer of last year. I have enjoyed all the comments the two of you have added to this site and I have sincerely learned a lot from both of you; so, thank you – and thank you BE (not that you give a shit 🙂
Wow!! Thank you so much! That is so thoughtful and means a lot.
I feel like I’m having a total Sally Field moment (when she won her Oscar). “They like me! They really, really like me! ”
I’m happy if I’ve helped in some way.
Bloody,
I can tell you are a “talented” individual. I believe you could use these talents against people who deserve it. That is what I do. I find it very satisfying. Don’t you like a challenge?
That light represents the existence of the target. Because the narc is non-existent, it is job is to destroy the existence of the target. What is surprising to me that targets still think this life is beautiful!!!!
An outdoor coffee table centerpiece on our veranda at twilight, whilst you and I drink wine by the fire and watch the deer?
Or
Fuel filled bubble burning so bright you can’t miss it!
HG says *in straining voice*: “Must… burst… bubble! Need…..Fuel!” *coughs*
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That was just a flicker of flame inside of me until the Greater Narc entered into my soul and my life. Immediately upon him gazing into my eyes and telling me how I made his flame burn so much brighter, I, for the first time in my life, was feeling what he felt, as well. I felt the burning flame he described to me and it was all consuming with love like I had never known before. I realize now it was all a facade, but the fire I felt burning inside was real to me and I’m now learning (with the help of this blog and most all of the commentators) how to keep that all consuming fire burning inside of me … for me. I want to feel the love I felt for him, for myself, and the more I learn how to do that, the more I realize just how amazing I really am. If there’s one thing the ex-MN mirrored for me that I’ll be forever grateful for, it’s showing me just how powerful my fire really is.
Very true! I still miss sharing that with someone else though.
I agree with both of you BH and Clarece
Spot on, HG!
Thank you.
I see a Fireball, encased on the inside and glowing with traits that will let you shine with her beside you. She’s hardwired to be deeply trusting and deeply attach. Flutter those wings faster and harder little moth to the flame.
Yes. Our light. The fact that you know you cannot heal but you know we can. You know you can’t heal, you know we have something you will never, ever have. Can never feel, can never be. That when our light walks away, you are left with only your darkness.
And it is as you have said, our search for truth, fairness and justice are all the things that made us targets and are what allow us to heal. Your kind are forever trapped because you have no alternative to your way of life because you are actually limited by your own organic abilities and lack of awareness. MRI scans of psychopaths shows very different brain activity than that of a non psychopath. When the neural pathways are damaged when you are young, your brains literally stop growing in areas. We, the empaths, are like the monks who can go deep inside and heal ourselves at the cellular level. Have you ever had an MRI brain scan done on you?
We may be ignorant of who we are, so we are hurt over and over, and some never escape, never have had a choice, like many narcs never have a choice, but those of us who do figure it out, we do have a choice now. We escape. You know who you are, your self-awareness takes you miles ahead of all the other narcs, but you still can’t escape. I think you know that.
You want to know the irony? As I have healed his poison, over and over and over, I am actually growing younger. People comment on it. My light is actually shinning brighter than ever and the more I am helped by your blog and other things I read, by my own relentless efforts to heal, I am actually reversing my aging. I had his poison in me my whole life. I thought it was his light. I had it wrong. I had his poison and now, as i neutralize it all, I shine.
Sarabella, it’s interesting that you say people are commenting on you growing younger and that your light is shining brighter. I’ve had that same experience in the last 2 weeks. I’ve had 3 different people tell me there’s a brightness to me that’s brighter than before; and the best part is, I feel it too. I loved what you had to say, very well put 🙂
Yeah!! Bloody is back in the house!! 😘
I wish the words were not all over this picture. It is indeed hypnotic. She doesn’t look happy though.
I have this insatiable urge to ask her if I can hold it, to take a closer look at it.
Then carelessly and purposely drop on the ground and watch her reaction as it smashes to pieces.
Hi
AMEDFORD22
Hello. Welcome.
Hi
Hi suck at blogging
Entertaining. Something tells me She might be disappointed but could simply get a new one and be fine again. Disappointing ….I know.
Amazing Amy,
I view that little ball of light and warmth as being the best of what she has to give. It is full of all the things that make her who she is. She offers it to someone like HG or to me hoping we will marvel at its fragility and beauty – hoping we will take care of it, nurture the flame, guard its contents and keep it safe.
Little does she know, when she offers it up, that we love to destroy pretty things. And the sound of broken glass is like music to our ears.
She cannot just “get a new one and be fine again.” Ask anyone who has been entangled with our kind and they will confirm that for you.
Elemental,
Some of us never might never be fine, this is true. Some end up dead or the walking dead.
But some of us will be and are fine. Some of us SHINE even brighter than before because some of us are actually stronger and tougher than many narcs. True story. Some narc might be able to inflict remorseless damage, but some of us get that the light we did offer up, because you all so pathetically begged for it (looking back, he was rather pathetic, he was a lower/mid), can be re fanned and if we are self-healing, we learn to take it to the people who will appreciate its bright light and warmth.
HG only references how to enrage your kind, in its simplest form, showing themselves to be happy. Past the saga. What I haven’t seen him write about is that for some, it might initially be faked, some understand to never let a narc see how they were hurt, but some actually DO become happy. Extremely happy. Extremely fine.
Welcome back Bloody! Well goodness, being the BFF I am, I’d push you aside so you don’t get burned. Things are always replaceable. People are not!
You really are an excellent BFF and I would expect nothing less from you, you beautiful, wonderful, amazing, completely enchanting Super Tanker, you.
Takes one Sexy Beast to know another!
But why? She would delight in seeing your pretty face go up in flames.
That may very well be. But for now I trust that she won’t. Her and I sparred initially which led to the revelation that her and I co-existing in our full-on true selves is much more interesting and fun than being against each other. I believe she sees the value in that too. I could be wrong, but I sensed she liked that she earned my respect for her brutal honesty (not that I want to be on the receiving end of some of it any time soon mind you). And I like that she recognized my good traits. I can hold my own.
BE, feel free to weigh in!
Good luck to you then. Don’t be surprised when the snake bites you.
Appreciated! The real snake I need to worry about is the one who brought me here. After several Hoovers this past year, it’s been silent and NC for 3 weeks. I’m most pleased with that right now.
It is true that Clarece and I did not see eye to eye when I first came here. She has since grown on me and I on her, and I no issue admitting I do have respect for her because she is unique among the many people who frequent this blog.
She is well-spoken, honest and intelligent. She is also a firecracker and I enjoy that about her. We respect and admire each other in a way we both find pleasing and beneficial.
Clarece has been an ally to me in a few instances here on the blog and that is something I certainly welcome.
Clarece is far from stupid or naïve about our kind and what we are capable of. She has nothing to fear from me because I see no reason to unleash my malice on her.
Bloody is of great importance to this blog! She offers a whole entirely different way of looking certain aspects of narcissism ( being one herself, and female.) there has been many occasions that I wish I could of been more like her. Of course their are things we will disagree on. I found if you treat her with respect she will do the same to you. And of course she doesn’t need this blog to draw fuel from, as with HG it would supply her with very little! Thank you Bloody and welcome back!! 😘
That is nice of you to say Fool Me, and of course, I appreciate your comments.
However, the only reason I am able to participate and share in this manner is because HG is gracious enough to allow me to. I am grateful to/for him and the work he does here.
There is no other forum, online or elsewhere, like the one HG has created. Because of HG’s brilliant writing and willingness to be open with everyone here, this space is second to none.
I have no need to collect fuel here, that is true. I do appreciate the positive comments and interactions and the negative ones certainly keep me entertained, but mostly, I am here to read, discuss, debate and learn, just like everyone else.
I agree with you 100% Bloody! There is not another blog out there that can compare to this one! HG is an amazing writer and though at times the truth hurt it is the only way I would of been able to learn and not keep making the same mistakes! Thank you both for your honesty. Have a wonderful weekend. 🍻
It is a beautiful thing, the unified energy that can emote, when two completely opposites can align based on exchanges of complete honesty and knowing expectations with no hidden agendas.
Thanks for the warm and fuzzies you sent my way BE!!! I appreciate your sentiments very much!
Clarece, I have always admired you and BE from afar, since coming onto this blog in the Summer of last year. I have enjoyed all the comments the two of you have added to this site and I have sincerely learned a lot from both of you; so, thank you – and thank you BE (not that you give a shit 🙂
Wow!! Thank you so much! That is so thoughtful and means a lot.
I feel like I’m having a total Sally Field moment (when she won her Oscar). “They like me! They really, really like me! ”
I’m happy if I’ve helped in some way.
I think BE and I would be a very entertaining female version of The Odd Couple off the blog. Lol
Any time now her Dachau-like arms will not be able to hold it and hopefully that will be the end of that ugly frock.
Bloody elemental – I like you … you and I are going to get along famously…
I just have this feeling 😉
You successful sociopath you…
You remind me of somebody
I can’t seem to put my finger on it
I bet you’re fun
Bloody,
I can tell you are a “talented” individual. I believe you could use these talents against people who deserve it. That is what I do. I find it very satisfying. Don’t you like a challenge?
That light represents the existence of the target. Because the narc is non-existent, it is job is to destroy the existence of the target. What is surprising to me that targets still think this life is beautiful!!!!
An outdoor coffee table centerpiece on our veranda at twilight, whilst you and I drink wine by the fire and watch the deer?
Or
Fuel filled bubble burning so bright you can’t miss it!
HG says *in straining voice*: “Must… burst… bubble! Need…..Fuel!” *coughs*
HG never has to strain his voice.
Oh you scrumptious fuel filled dumpling!
Sorry Sire. To the dungeon?
No. It is the jester’s outfit for you. You are to amuse the visiting Baron OfMirth. That will leave you feeling rather crushed!
Ugh! Am I wearing The slutty jester outfit or the itchy wool suit complete with 100 lb head? That guy is insatiable!
A health & safety hazard?
Flickatina
Haha…🖒😂