The Narcissistic Covenant
There is a covenant which exists between you and I, between our kind and your kind. It is not necessary for you to provide consent to this covenant in order for it to be binding. You do not know that this covenant exists but it does. Its terms govern the relationship between us and you, whether you are entangled with the Lesser of our kind, the Mid-Rangeo r the Greater. It matters not. The covenant applied from the moment that we selected you to be our victim. There are ten parts to this covenant and they reflect the mind set and attitude of our kind towards you and how you and I interact. There is little doubt that in looking back at your entanglement with us you will recognise certain elements of this but whilst you were very much in our grip, you would have no idea that these were the terms which governed our treatment of you.
- You were chosen
Our ensnaring of you might have been portrayed as chance, a piece of serendipity but it was not. You were chosen to be our victim. The Lesser will have instinctively recognised your potential without knowing why. The Mid-Range will have applied some thought to the process, potentially dismissing less favourable candidates. The Greater identified you, monitored you and then moved in for the “kill”. In every instance you were chosen.
- You belong to us
You are an object to us. An appliance. Therefore, we are able to assert proprietary rights over you just as we would with some other kind of object or chattel. Since we own you, we choose what to do with you, without recourse to you or anybody else. This is our inalienable right.
- You exist solely for our purposes
We are the centre of your world, the heart of your universe and at all times everything that you do should be focused on us, for our benefit and advancement. You do not exist for your family. You do not exist for our children. You do not exist for your friends, colleagues, fellow members of a club or congregation. We are all that matters to you.
- This is forever
This covenant lasts for ever. In our minds it is one that exists in perpetuity for we do not wish to contemplate our own demise and care nothing for yours, other than it inconveniencing us by the interruption to our supply of fuel. This relationship transcends all others. You may have told us that you do not wish to be “with us” any longer. You may have broken off the engagement or divorced us. In our mind all that you have done is end the Formal Relationship which is something that people lesser than our kind engage in with one another and that which we accede to for the sake of fitting in. In our minds our relationship exists beyond this Formal Relationship. This is the Narcissistic Relationship and means we remain entitled to effect the terms of this covenant against you at all times until your last breath or our last breath.
- This is totalitarian
There is no limit to our power over you. We are entitled to and we will exercise our right to, govern every facet of your life, interfere in everything that you do, monitor you and control you in order to achieve our aims. You must accept that you are entirely subservient to us.
- You cannot end this covenant
You have no rights under this covenant. You cannot bring about its unilateral termination. Indeed, it cannot be ended at all. You are not able to state that its terms are inapplicable to you, that it has no jurisdiction or effect over you. Such protestations are invalid.
- We owe you nothing
We are entitled to do as we please without challenge, question or restraint. We have no obligation to do anything for you. We have no compulsion to act in your interests, have regard to your opinion, your feelings or your desires. If we do so, it will only be for the advancement of our position.
- Fuel provision is paramount
The provision of fuel is above all else. This is in terms of what you must provide to us and also it allows us to seek fuel from other sources, whenever we deem necessary and howsoever we choose. Concepts of fidelity and monogamy are null and void with regard to this part of the covenant. Issues of protocol and etiquette are meaningless.
- The Ends Justifies the Means
The covenant grants us carte blanche to do what is necessary for our purposes. This is supported by our concept of total entitlement and the fact that we have no accountability, culpability or blameworthiness for any of our actions. Whatever needs to be done will be done to ensure the furtherance of our agenda, aims and needs.
- We are the Victim
We are the victim in all of this. This is why the covenant exists by reason to compensate us for all of the outrageous injustices, misfortunes, unfairness and hardships that this cruel and feckless world has meted out to us.
16 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Covenant”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Have you ever heard of Domestic Discipline? The wife wants to learn to be submissive to her husbands wants and needs. The husband is Head of Household and is expected to correct any disrespect, deceit, dangerous behavior with first a warning, then maybe a light punishment like standing in a corner, washing mouth out with soap, writing lines, and if the offense reoccurs the punishment is a light spanking, then a harder spanking if neccessary. Nothing worse than a spanking. How would a narc husband feel about that? Would it help satisfy their ego or would it lead to out of control abuse?
It might suit some of our kind for a period of time but would not accord with the volatility of ignited fury for some of our kind, nor go far enough for others.
HG
Statements made to this degree are for the Intimate Partner Primary Source only correct? He would believe these things about his wife or live-in but not his side action? Or to a much lesser degree? I think I have it straight and then I read something else and have confusion about the primary and secondary sources and then theres the dirty secret which I always assumed was a secondary. Can you actually be the primary source and not be the wife? I wish you bunch would assign fkg T-shirts so we can know who is who in the rotation. Grrrr
No this applies to all victims. Dirty Secret is a secondary source.
HG
A post you wrote subsequent addressed my question and confusion. I should know to be patient as the information is usually right atound the corner, but I am not always patient *bows head and draws shapes with toe then gives side eyes* Thank you.
HG does all ten points in the covenant still apply after the narc discarded? Also if he said that I am allowed to date other people does he really mean it because if I understand this covenant correctly he would not like it if I actually do date other people.
yes they do apply. His comment was a test.
He asked me many times to come visit him, thousands of miles away. I get there and it starts to go quite wrong. I try to salvage what I can. But the most baffling part was despite that, the last night he expresses annoyance that my chat was off in FB. I am really taken back. It was on, its how he and I used to chat. It got filed away until I started my relationship autopsy. And that was when I realized he was annoyed at it being off for 3 years from when we first friended until we really started to chat. At which point I changed the chat to on as we were chatting . It was so confusing. He was annoyed or irritated that it was off all that time prior? He could have chatted on my page, but he never did. Onky a few times saying hello.
Was the annoyance that he felt I was unavailable even though he had no right to be other than… he was feeling his power and ownership from 30 years before when he used pulled his massive discard and ST? It is 30 years later and he is still in that mind framework?! #4,5, &6?! crazy if that is what irritated him. Its why the parting words were never a full bye but a partial. Bye… for now. ugh. no wonder he just picked up where he left off. in his mind, he was really doing just that. Not getting to know someone after a very long absence
HG,
Since I am in the binding covenant, am I getting that 🍒cherry jam tomorrow as promised?
My ex-boyfriend to a T…Even now, almost 25 years later, he “runs into me” at the store. If I change stores, he shows up at the new store. I ignore him but he never goes away.
It all seems accurate, but how are you the victim? (Genuinely curious).
Because this cruel and unjust world has sought to crush us, but we have fought back.
This cruel and unjust worl is out to crush everybody..
It was prophesied.
Destiny.
But we must fight as much as we can, of course.
So you try to crush others before they can crush you?
Kit, you can get a type of narcissism called ‘vulnerable narcissism’. That type love to play the victim and perhaps genuinely believe they are. They certainly rearrange facts in that regard.
Plus playing the victim is another manipulation technique – either with the source, or with other people in the character assassination of the primary source.
A child quickly learns that they get lots of sympathy and attention if they cry. And if they do something wrong, but then cry? Might avoid punishment AND get attention to boot. A victim manipulator is born.
That’s my sister to a T. I could never understand why she would want negative attention (and in my mind what I see as pity). Now I get it.