Love Letter
I have always used the love letter as a method of building my connections with my target. I first started at school when one would write a short note and pass it across the class to the object of one’s affection. With a sideways glance I would watch as she would open the piece of paper up and smile before nudging her friend sat besides her and both would look my way with a smile and a giggle. Ah, from such acorns did my prowess with the billet-doux grow.
Those early ‘romances’ which in truth lasted little more than a month or so before we moved on to someone else gave way to the first proper girlfriend and then more meaningful correspondences sprang up. I remember during the Easter holidays in my penultimate year at school I engaged in an exchange of letters with a young lady who lived in a village a little way from where I lived. She would write a letter and I would receive it the next day. I immediately wrote a reply and she would receive it thenext day. Back and forth our letters went. Of course we had no such thing as Instant Messenge or text messages. E-mail was in its infancy and was certainly not something that was used from home. I remember she wrote on light green paper placed inside a green envelope. It certainly stood our when it arrived on the doormat in the morning. I of course responded by writing (no use of typewriter or word processor back then) on crisp white paper of a decent thickness which would be folded into a third and inserted into an envelope. I still have her letters along with all of the others that I have received. Once in a while I will lift the box from on top of the wardrobe and sit and rifle through the contents. I have no real interest in the content or returning to those moments, I usually do it in front of my current partner in order to provoke a reaction from her.
Those early letters exchanged that Easter began as exchanges about what we had been doing each day, talking about other friends and then began a mild flirtation. We ended up as girlfriend and boyfriend after the letter writing. This earned me considerable kudos with my peers since the girl in question was held up as one of the most desirable in the year (although looking back I suspect much of that was to do with the fact that she arrived in our first year well-developed for her age). I recall when we went to watch Platoon at the cinema on of our dates she told me,
“You are not my usual type. I usually go for older boys but I loved what you wrote to me. Nobody has done that before.”
Whilst I cannot of course lay claim to be the only person who has written a love letter, it became apparent that it had become something of a dying art. I do not mean silly notes in class or something that resembles little more than an extract from a diary. Instead I am referring to the sweeping, grand, romantic proclamations of love and desire. Vulgarity is not allowed in this poetic pieces of literature, instead should one wish to express a physical need for coupling then the application of euphemism and analogy came to the fore.
I honed my craft corresponding with girlfriends from university.Invariably we came from different parts of the country and therefore during holidays we wrote to one another. I used this as an opportunity to sharpen my skills and polish my prose. The upshot was that thereafter although there was no real need to write to one another (we lived in the same place or even together) the production of a love letter left on a pillow or placed by a prepared breakfast on the dining table worked magically as a method of seduction.
I had a template of about five differing types of letter and have used them on several different ladies. I would copy them word for word with suitable alterations mutatis mutandis to cater for differences in appearance or demeanour. These crafted missives were powerful indeed. They created strong connections between my target and I. The content was such the lady in question would always be swept off her feet and of course when those loving words became barbed and thorny, she would retreat to where she kept them and weep over the beauty contained in those first letters. Knowing that these letters would be clutched in a shaking hand as the tears rolled down her cheeks however weeks down the line was edifying indeed.
I still use them. In a world governed by technology, text speak and the immediacy of communication, the provision of a hand-written billet-doux has a tremendous effect.
38 thoughts on “Love Letter”
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For the first year, I received a card under my keyboard at work every Monday morning with his love-bombing words written in his beautiful, left-handed penmanship. They’re all in the county dump now, with mud and bird shit all over them … ha ha!
Braveheart
Haha. Love that.
You may have addressed this previously; but has there ever been that “one source”? Was there ever one that for any particular reason stood apart from the rest?
Heroin addicts talk about how nothing is ever like the first hit, is there something comparable for Narcs?
I’ve always liked the word “penultimate” also, “perambulating” – When I was perambulating across the quad during my penultimate year of school… “
SCOUT
I agree, Words like that are wonderful and getting lost. Everything seems to be getting dumbed down anymore. I loved reading and coming across a word new to me and having to look it up. Sigh.
This is why I love my Kindle. I can press on an unfamiliar word and lo! I have a definition! It’s like magic!
Doesn’t work with dead tree books though. No matter how hard you press.
FLICKATINA
I pictured that. You pressing away. One day I was reading a magazine and I wanted to see a pic better. I actually did the finger spread gesture to enlarge it. Wait! Im not done- I was mad it didnt work so I swore and tried it again!!
Nope wasnt drinking either v
Also- youre an ass. I like you.
I can picture that! It’s something I would totally do as well!
And thank you! I like you too.
Hmmm ExN would drive 20-25 minutes to stick love letters in my door when we were into it! HG you never disappoint!
A personal hand-written letter is like a gift coming from the heart. They are very important to me.
My lovely ex-narc wrote lots and lots of e-mails (but not a love letter per se) some of them with “I love you”, but mostly conditionally. But he sent an e-mail to the leaders of our spiritual group announcing in poetical, flaming words that we had found together, etc. Only to announce later that he had had to realize that we weren’t meant for each other in the end.
But he sent a hand crafted, hand written card with a sunset on it, telling me “good-bye” (once again, after the official relationship had long ended).
I have never had a love letter either…but HG has reminded me about my fountain pen. It’s not a Mont Blanc (a lowly Waterman) but I like it and have been reminded about the beauty of a well crafted pen (inlaid nib only), the feel of it in your hand and the way the ink (emerald green today) flows on the paper.
Emerald Green ink? Are you some kind of pigment pervert Flickatina?!
I am incapable of using normal colours – I have purple, green, turquoise and pink.
So yes – I am. Even my hair is pink and blue at the moment…
Tell him Flick. It aint easy being green. 🐸
Hmm hg my comment is still awaiting moderation. Are you able to answer or is this something I need to ask you in the consultation that I plan on doing? I’m totally not fussed. I’m certain this article has answered what I was thinking anyway. Kind regards Claire x
Hi Claire, I am working my way through the comments so it depends on which happens first – your consultation or I get to your comment!
“Fussed” you Brits are cute. 😉
I got so many love letters and emails…so many. He made me feel like the love of his life, and said so, over and over. It made it all so much more painful and confusing when he ghosted me, and then smeared me. It was all so surreal; so unnatural. Even now, though I read about Narcissists, and what they do, it still will not settle quietly inside my mind. It still remains a huge question mark of, “Why?”.
Soooooooo this would make you 46 or 47 yrs old?
may be wrong, just an observation.. 🙂
What are your thoughts on Lord Byron if you have any HG? I suspect he was a narcissist based on a few facts about him. He was sexually abused by his caregiver at age 9. He was bisexual and very promiscuous. I see quite a few narc red flags around him. Im curious what you think of him in relation to narcissism. He was quite the character. His daughter ada helped create the present day computers. Very smart lady!
My narc has sent me byrons poems in the past and thats what started my fascination with him.
Byron was an utter rascal and clearly one of ours.
HG
Was Byron one of your schoolmates?
Bahaha
Easy tiger. Actually, there was a chap who had the first name Byron at sixth form college. Long drink of water he was.
“In a world governed by technology, text speak and the immediacy of communication, the provision of a hand-written billet-doux has a tremendous effect.”
I agree. The weight, scent and colouration of the paper, elegant handwriting, indentations the fountain pen tip leaves on the paper, the time spent to write the letter… it would have a more tremendous effect however, if those beautiful words actually were the truth!
Mine wrote notes and a card. He has the most beautiful handwriting, it struck me as very neat and accurate. Whenever I feel forgiving, I take a look at them to remind me of his true, deceptive nature. Works a treat.
HG
Speaking of letters…….I love the way your talented fingers weave them together to form a little cloud for my brain to nestle in. A welcomed mini vacation, an escape. I would however like to avail myself of another subject matter as this one gets a bit old before long. Far from a slight-I mean that its effective. If you are thoroughly reading the posts and the books you should be graduating and moving on only to be replaced by new students. So then my question: Do you currently, or have plans to, write under another name to protect your identity so that those of us who find ourselves in the “finding very little new information but also find wading through the education of the newly heartbroken or perpetually stuck, tedious and repetitive” category a place of literary respite in another subject?
Not at the present time.
Lol….terribly devious!!!
It have been said that the pen is mighter than the sword …
perhaps .. but i am sharpening my sword .. just in the eventuality that the saying will fail..
“Our abuse of your trust causes you to not want to accept the truth of what we have done.”
Tough pill to swallow …there are only 3 things in life that are true. The Sun, the moon and lastly the truth.
You just know all the ways to a woman’s heart…
Getting the box with letters out just to provoke a reaction… my oh my… you’re so mean!
Crafty. Silver fork tongued poison☠. I liked drinking the kool-aid. Talking on the ‘phone for hours at a time. Reading words. Compliments. Not one person with a heart can undergo that kind of love bombing without coming out unscathed. Either you can’t believe the over the top phrases and you question them and get more lies or you tell yourself, wow they are really romantic. This is not once upon a time in a land far far away. Only way to win is to listen to your gut instinct and walk yourself far far away. Don’t believe the hype❣💌🛇
Is it usual for letters to be kept hg? I sent two in the early stages of my discard. Would he keep them and re read them because they are good fuel? Is it probable that he will use the contents in a hoover?
If sent when you have been discarded they are more likely to be thrown away.
Hi HG,
The cards that I gave my ex were all returned to me in a box. Her girlfriend then met me to give me back my things. I immediately threw those out because. Those just bought on the waterfalls of tears and I knew I couldn’t keep those.
I’m sure her purpose was to hurt me since she thought I was the one hurting her.
HG, Claire asked if it’s usual for letters to be kept by the Narcs in the early stages of discard and you said they’re more likely to be thrown away if given during that time. What about during the Golden/Devalue period?
I just found six different letters on my computer last night that I had sent to the ex-MN during the nearly 5 year relationship. When I read this one, as well as the others, I was shocked to see just how fucking manipulated I really was. I was also pleasantly surprised that, after 11 months of being discarded (no hoovers), I felt absolutely no emotional attachment to them, or him, at all. I attribute this to being educated now (thanks to you) on what it all really meant then and what it all means now. It makes me happy to see that, right from the beginning, I clearly knew something was off and even said so to him, and I can promise it will never happen again.
Here’s an excerpt from the very first letter, one year into relationship:
“Baby, there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about lately and it’s not easy to know what to say or how to say it. All I know is I’m really feeling like our conversations just aren’t on the same track at all and I feel like we never really have anything to communicate about. Who knows maybe a lot of it has to do with the fact that we’re just not together completely, being able to share our lives with each other, so there really isn’t a lot we can discuss on a different level. However, I do feel like you’re completely preoccupied with other things anymore and it makes it really hard to even want to talk lately because, with everything I say, I feel like you answer me with such robotic sounding answers or your answers don’t even address everything I’ve said to you. In a sense, it makes me feel like you’re not really listening or reading what I’m trying to say to you, regardless if it’s over messaging. I feel like we’re really great at telling each other how much we love and miss one another, and how we need and want each other, but I also feel there has to be more to our conversations than just our expressions of love all the time. For me, it starts to feel as though we’re just saying those things because we have nothing else to talk about. I’ve told you before I don’t want to just say “I love you” just to say it. I’ve told you I want them to have the deep meaning they’re intended to have. I know it’s not easy that we have to message each other more than anything else, but it really makes it even harder when I don’t feel like we’re saying that much to each other to begin with, or I feel like I’m the one who ends up being the one to bring up other topics. It makes me feel at times as though you’re not as interested in me for what I can talk about and that you’re only interested in the love I give to you.”
HG, it’s crazy to me to see now how every last ounce of the shit I wrote to him was nothing but fuel for him, but at the same time, do you think he saw it as a possibility of my catching onto anything?
Also, I want to know – do you think he’s kept this letter, as well as the letters that were filled with expressions of love during our relationship, or do you think he’s canned all of them? As I said, these were given to him during the Golden/Devalue period.
P.S. The letters are now all deleted. 🙂
That was a very interesting article HG.
I love to see where your skills come from and how far back they began.
I can only imagine what one of your love letters look like. Your articles suck me right in with all your imagination and anticipation.
I received poetry. At first I was impressed but one particular one I felt the need to check it out to see if it was an actual poem and it was. Everything that she claimed she wrote or was her artwork wasn’t. All of it was made up. But those red flags didn’t stop me. I couldn’t figure out why someone would pretend to do those things.
I dismissed all of her lies.
Thanks for showing me how you borrow others skills, talents, and traits.
I fully understand how and why.
I’ve never gotten a love letter.
can’t relate.