The Narcissistic Truths – No. 191

criticism

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41 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 191”

  1. Self Love or being in love with self is not always beautiful.
    Sometimes we just need a big swift kick in the ass.
    You’ve got to call yourself on your on nonsense or continue on the path of self destruction. It’s inevitable.

  2. So much pain shown here lately HG.

    I do hope your weekend has faired well, back to work I go……he is chaos, I am calm time to tidy the place up.

  3. I feel some satisfaction looking at this, my sense of justice kicking in… I would be even more satisfied if the liquid was red. Blood-red.

    1. It is red for my narc. His mind and anger was powerful. But his body was lifeless, without any energy. He was incredibly frail, like everything was in fact flowing out of him.

      1. Was he a Victim Narcissist? Mine sizzled with energy, engaging and fiery, which fascinated me. He also had high blood pressure, and I knew what to say (defending myself) to raise it even further. Parting ways was probably a life-extending move.

      2. Yes, Matilda, probably alot of victim narcissism. But my story has a racial/cultural twist on it that further complicates this dynamic that might be a greater contributing factor. Yes, he had lots of energy. I am sorry to say, I also learned what to say to provoke him back. I was doing it unconsciously after a while, sometimes intentionally, some times accidentally. I think that is why HG’s writing on the empath supernova was so eye opening for me. We became an epic battle of wills and then I think now, how could there be so much incredible energy in a body that seemed to be floating away, wasting away?

      3. Ah, I see, Sarabella. Yes, a battle of wills that culminates in a supernova. Mine used to verbally hurt me and apologise, repeatedly. At some point, I wanted to hear it all, so, I provoked him until it burst out of him… you are not prepared for the venom from the one who declared his undying love not long ago… but I wanted clarity, and I got it.

      4. He never apologized except for for one thing and he liedin that apology. He manipulated me to apologize though. But I did provoke him, for what he had done. I think it was the only way I could control back.

      5. Absolutely, you regained control by challenging him, and not letting him get away with it. Mine apologised after every insult, and made ME feel guilty when I would not accept his apology! Clever, isn’t it? I did not apologise, because, on principle, I never apologise when *I* am the one who has been hurt! But I felt guilty for a while, until I saw the pattern in his behaviour.

        God, all the mind games going on… we can count our blessings that we do not have to deal with that anymore!

      6. yes, but at some point, I was the abused becoming the abuser and justifying it as righteous self-defense. πŸ™

      7. Gosh, that should have read “I did not apologise *for lashing out at him (after an insult)*…” I need a cup of strong tea now, to get my grey cells back in working order! πŸ™‚

      8. I know what you mean… but from my perspective, it is self-defense if you are dealing with an abusive person. You just learn to play their game. It goes against our nature however, which is why disengaging and leaving is the best move. πŸ™‚

      9. Yes, it is a form of self-defense, to take back or reinstate the violated boundaries and sense of self. I am in a strange place with it all. I have the understanding, the hurt was so profoumd, the bond hard to break. I think, I have found my final way to emotionally escape. I hope it works.

      10. Yes, the aftermath is brutal… it takes you to dark places you have never known… but you also learn how strong you are if you have to be… and this is a lesson you will cherish for life. I rejoice with you that you found a way to escape… whatever works is good πŸ™‚

  4. Seriously, I don’t know how many times I’ve looked at this. I can’t stop. I could almost swear it was him. 😟Just not quite muscular enough. & the wrong side of the world.

  5. Good morning. I’d like to offer that criticism and feedback, be it developmental, constructive, unintended, harsh, unfair or undue is part of life.

    Everyone is subject to it. We even do it to ourselves, sometimes.

    You can’t escape criticism. It will happen. No matter who you are or how wonderful, powerful, excellent, accomplished or perfect you are.

    So, what is required is knowledge of healthy coping mechanisms. Then putting one or more of them into practice.

    Everyone knows narcs have maladaptive coping mechanisms to criticism.

    By addressing this, it actually gives you more power.

    HG- Would you be willing to explore and practice healthy coping mechanisms to criticism? Criticism of all types?

  6. Yeah…

    We need a meme of a flattened pancake with a head saying ‘Abuse’.
    Then put the memes side by side under the
    ‘We’re all suffering now then arn’t we umbrella.’

  7. HG – That draining feeling you have when criticized is horrific. If you know that feeling, why do you want to make us feel like that too? It’s like if I am hurt, we all gonna hurt. Why don’t we try healing instead? It’s so much better than taking down everyone else with you. Especially the innocent. You were once innocent. They corrupted you. They were wrong. You were not born this way. You were misshapen by emotional neglect and abuse. Reshape yourself. Only if you want to. Yeah, if you want to.

      1. But, in the song he dedicated to me, he said he was broken, and that “how was I to know that you’d be my light and safety. Without you, I am nothing. I can fly higher than I ever knew because of you”… The song he sent me said these things and he dedicated this song to me, over and over, again. Did he know he was broken? It sounds like, from the song, that he knew he was broken, and that I would be there to love him no matter what. The song said so that he dedicated to me. And, he once told me that, he “realized how much he loved me at that moment when I told him that I would always love him, no matter how broken he was”. He said this is what did it for him. So, the song said these words, too, and so was this a ‘moment of truth’ in dedicating this particular song to me, over and over? The song was, ‘For Crying Out Loud’, by Meatloaf.

      2. Thank you, HG πŸ’•πŸ’•. I think I do understand, now. It was not real. He tricked me. It was so, so mean of him. I can scarcely believe it. So surreal. Unnatural. Monster!

  8. Wait… I went to look at a song, by Meatloaf, that another commenter posted, and while I was looking it up, I found the song that the last Narcissist dedicated to me 😒. I had not heard this song since he dedicated to me. I will post it because I need to know, please…listen to the words of this song, and can someone tell me Why he dedicated this song to me if he is a Narcissist?? He is explaining in this song how much he loves me, how he needs me, and how utterly broken he is. Did he know, then, that he was broken and going to hurt me so bad? Were these words to me his ‘moment of truth’? Please, if anyone can listen to the words, and help me to understand…please? I will post song, now..

      1. But that doesn’t matter if you’ve got someone else to replace me with, correct? Someone else who will plug the holes for you?

      2. It matters because we hate to be criticised but the wound will not last for long if we can gather fuel, be it from you or another appliance.

  9. This is a startling picture that I could interpret in many ways. This man is also in really good shape- excellent shape, actually; (well, except for the large holes in his body)…

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